Man, so That Kid in my office today asked a great question at a Master’s defense, and I’m always trying to be on the lookout for opportunities to have a halfway decent conversation with him, so I told him it was a great question! And he goes, “Oh, I know, but I thought the speaker did a terrible job answering it.” And I’m thinking like, hey asshole, that speaker is one of your closest friends and colleagues, you have worked in the same room for two years and frequently hang out outside of work, and here you’re badmouthing him to a more senior researcher in your field. What the hell? Buddy, don’t you go throwing that speaker under the bus to try and impress me with how smart you are. I like him way, way, way better than you.
Entertaining some lovely recurring daydreams of being in a position to recommend against hiring this guy somewhere in the nebulous future, but realistically? If “pointlessly arrogant and competitive white dude with no sense of tact” were an impediment to career advancement in this field, we’d be downsized by 75%.
Anyway, the speaker passed his defense and we’re throwing him a party tonight, so I am gonna make and bring some good good good Nanaimo bars for him and ignore the heck out of That Kid.
One of the simple pleasures of growing up in a rural area is the ritual that is the church dinner – and the best part of the church dinner was always the dessert table…
Okay, I was going to try my hand at lifestyle blogging but I can’t even do it ironically. Anyway, here’s Wonderwall:
Yes, that’s from a church cookbook. Our local United Church Women’s cookbook circa some time before I was born, to be precise. No, I don’t know when they stopped being “squares” and became “bars”.
A few notes:
It should be four tablespoons of cocoa, not four teaspoons.
The walnuts are optional. If you’re going to use them, crush them really finely or the base will fall apart around them (and you’ll be biting into chunks of walnut, which nobody wants).
It should be two tablespoons of custard powder, not two teaspoons. (I don’t know who typed up these recipes, but that seems to be a recurring problem.)
Finally, the chocolate layer on top isn’t supposed to be marbled. You’ll probably have to figure out your own way on that – my wife’s still working on it, and I’ve never had great luck. I think my mom eventually gave up on using baking chocolate and just started melting chocolate chips in the microwave.
Anyhow, enjoy. If it takes a few tries to get it right, that’s just a sacrifice you’ll have to make.
Why don’t we talk about the team trying to get on Bitty’s vlog more?
Like, they all know about it, even if they have respected his privacy and haven’t watched them (except maybe they have? Like, an episode or two from his pre-SMH days?) but they have all gotten pretty decent in the kitchen by now, and they honestly just want to be a part of that part of Bitty’s life.
Lardo maybe wants to make a traditional Vietnamese dish, and also brownies from scratch. Chowder wants to do his grandmother’s noodles, and something special for Cait. Ransom and Holster really just want to do anything, want to be included, but Holster misses Buffalo food, and Rans would maybe like to see Bitty’s take on Nigerian food, or maybe some Nanaimo bars.
Dex kind of just likes being in the kitchen, has discovered he likes helping Bitty and likes making things with his hands; cooking is like an extension of fixing things, but the pay off is delicious. Nursey is mostly a disaster in the kitchen, but he’s found that if given a repetitive task, his clumsiness is ameliorated. Plus, he likes being on camera, even if (or maybe because) Dex chirps him about it.
Shitty likes cooking, and also likes the idea of how annoyed his dad would be to see him in the kitchen in an apron, but he’s also incredibly curious about Eric Bittle YouTube star, and also wants to talk about the way Bitty is fighting heteronormative bullshit and dismantling homophobic ideas about gender roles.
Jack. Jack just wants to watch his boyfriend in his element. Maybe wants the world to see how they have learned to move around each other in the kitchen with ease, how he can anticipate Bitty’s needs and help him bake a perfect pie. How he’s learned to assemble a beautiful lattice crust on top of a pie.
I just have a lot of feelings about this, apparently? Like, Bitty expresses his love for people through his food, and all his friends want to be a part of that, but also, to recapture a little bit of their own experiences through cooking with Bitty, sharing their love with him with family recipes, and childhood memories, and their biggest passions.
Hey guys! Hope you enjoy. And I’m so sorry it seems kind of choppy. I was
writing during the commercials of american football games. Haha, only me!
Hi can I make a request where Steve is being all
patriotic and cute, but Steve and the other Avengers have no idea that the
reader (who is also an Avenger) is Canadian :D Thanks!!!
It was the first day of July. An important day for
you, but everyone else on the team could care less about it. They were too busy
planning a party for July 4th, America’s Independence Day and Steve’s birthday.
However, in your mind, you were celebrating Canada’s independence on that first
day of July.
No one really knew that you were Canadian. You never
really spoke French in front of them, and your English didn’t have an accent. You
had moved from London, Ontario, Canada to New York City, USA, where SHIELD had recruited
you. The team had naturally assumed you were American and you never really
bothered to correct them.
After spending ten months with the team, you were
glad to say you were good friends with them. Especially Natasha and Steve,
since you were usually assigned to missions with them.
So, here you were, with the entire team, discussing
ideas for the Fourth of July party. Steve seemed giddy, smiling at everyone and
getting excited every time someone mentioned something he liked. You found it
endearing how much he loved America and how patriotic he was.
“Well, I know we definitely need some barbeque
food. That’s the American way,” Clint said and everyone nodded their head.
“We’re definitely watching the fireworks at
night,” Natasha said.
“American flags,” Clint retaliated, and
Steve was excitedly nodding along.
He turned to you and smiled at you and you smiled
back. “You seem very excited about this, Steve.”
“Yeah, I mean, not only it’s my birthday, but
America’s as well,” he said and blushed a little.
“Well, (Y/N), what do you and your family do to
celebrate the Fourth of July?” Natasha asked you and everyone’s eyes
turned to you.
“Well…I don’t really celebrate the Fourth of
July,” you said, blushing from the intense gazes of everyone. Some gazes
widened when you said that and Steve looked confused.
“…What?” Clint asked. “You don’t the
celebrate the independence of your country?”
“Of course I do; it’s today,” you said, as
if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“(Y/N)…I’m pretty sure it’s not,” Clint
said, looking at you like you had grown two ore heads.
“No it’s today. I’m Canadian,” you said,
finally spilling the beans.
“What?” you heard a conglomerate of voices
call out at the same time.
“You’re not American?” Steve asked. His
tone wasn’t condescending or rude. he seemed genuinely interested in what you
“Nope, I moved here when I was about twelve, but
I was born in Canada,” you said, smiling at everyone.
“That explains why you’re too nice,” Tony
said and you rolled your eyes at him.
“Well, if that’s all, I’m going out to lunch
with my sister to celebrate my non-American independence,” you said and
got up. “I’ll be back later, guys.”
Everyone watched you leave and then looked at each
“This is so unexpected,” Clint said.
“How could I not have known she was Canadian? We
talk all the time,” Steve said.
“Maybe she mentioned it, but you were too busy drooling
at her to actually hear what she was saying,” Natasha responded and
everyone giggled and chuckled at theat. Steve blushed and gave her a look.
“We should do something for her,” he said.
“This is great!” Tony exclaimed. “Now
we get two parties!”
About three hours later, you were taking the elevator
to the top floor of the tower, where Natasha had asked you to meet her for a
movie marathon. When the elevator doors opened, the room was dark, the windows
completely tinted, probably courtesy of Tony’s AI system.
“Nat?” you called out loud. Suddenly, the
room brihtened and the avengers popped out, yelling surprise, and causing you
to jump back in shock.
“Happy Canadian Independence Day!” everyone
yelled at the same time, and you took the time to look around the room. There
were a few Canadian flags hanging on the walls and from the ceiling. All the
Avengers were wearing black T-shirts, that said ‘The Eh Team’ with a red maple
leaf. You giggled at them.
“You guys! You didn’t have to do this,” you
said, smiling excitedly as you saw some Poutine and Nanaimo bars.
“Yeah we did, we felt bad that you wouldn’t get
to celebrate your country’s special day,” Clint said.
You smiled at them. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank us yet,” Tony said. Then they
all started to sing O Canada!, off key and you were sure that a few of them
were mumbling through the unknown words.
You giggled at them, and started singing along.
You were enjoying a slice of your favorite dessert,
when Steve sat next to you.
“Hey, (Y/N),” he said, smiling at you.
“Hey, Steve. So who’s idea was this?” you
asked, taking another bite of your food.
He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, and looked
down, blushing. “Well, it was kind of my idea. I wanted to do something to
celebrate you, too. It wasn’t really fair that we would get so celebrate
America and not Canada. I mean, we do celebrate Russia’s day for Nat. It only
“Aw, Steve, thank you!” you said, leaning
in to give him a half hug. “You really shouldn’t have, though. I didn’t
“I wanted to,” he said, his hand grabbing
your free one and squeezing it gently. It was your turn to blush and you kept
smiling at him. “Any day that’s special to you should be celebrated.”