nails-how-to

so an explorer is going exploring in the mountains, when a mountain lion pounces on them and starts ripping out their entrails.

a mountaineer comes along and is like oh wow, should I get that mountain lion out of you, sport, pop a herbal poultice in there for ya?

and the explorer goes hmm, i’m not sure how effective a herbal poultice will be, and does it have dock leaves in it? dock leaves give me gas.

and the mountaineer says well okay, but right now you have a mountain lion ripping out your entrails, so, do you want to maybe replace that with a nice poultice?

and the explorer says well gee, don’t you have some proper bandages, maybe an operating theatre? I really want to nail down how unhappy I am with this poultice

and the mountaineer says well all of those things would be really nice to have but what I actually have right now is a herbal poultice so, like, would you like that, or the mountain lion which, I have to remind you, is disembowelling you as we speak.

and the explorer says well, hey, i’m not really concerned with this mountain lion for some inexplicable reason, and I’m really JUST not sure I can plump for this poultice, y'know? It just seems an inadequate solution to the bleeding I’m experiencing. Maybe come back if you build me an operating theatre?

and the mountaineer fucked off and left the explorer to be eaten by a mountain lion and the last thought the explorer had was “golly fucking jeepers if only that poultice hadn’t been so inadequate I wouldn’t have been EATEN BY A MOUNTAIN LION”

ANYWAY

THAT’S THE 2017 ELECTION

WAKKA FUCKING WAKKA

Girls that the houses don't talk about
  • Slytherin Girls: Telling the boys over and over that ambition doesn't equal the need to look perfect. Walking to breakfast with sleep still in their eyes and wearing baggy jumpers under their robes. When asked why they don't "act more like Slytherins," they tell people that cunning doesn't require aesthetic.
  • Gryffindor girls: Shying away from loud noises, afraid of getting in trouble, of the vicious stares of the older students. Never raising their hand in class, or speaking out of turn. When asked why they don't "act more like Gryffindors" they reply that Chivalry doesn't require you to be boisterous.
  • Hufflepuff girls: with gaunt, hollow cheeks and tired eyes. That never go into the kitchens with the others. Who wear clothes three sizes too big. With sharp tongues and eyes that glare at those who criticise them. When asked why they don't "Act more like Hufflepuffs" they reply that Dedication does not require extroversion.
  • Ravenclaw Girls: Who cry when they're set more homework, that catch themselves holding their breath in the girl's bathroom so that no one will hear their sobs. That Try to spend hours in the library, but can't make the information sink in. That spend too much time worrying, and not enough time preparing for exams. When asked why they don't "Act more like Ravenclaws" they reply that a love of knowledge does not always require academic success.
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@gro-ggy commissioned me to draw a set of Esmeralda pictures from @shenanimation‘s Scalie Schoolie for a friend of hers. Esmeralda has a very fun body type and I’m a fan of all of Shen’s work so it was just all in all a blast to draw! 

anonymous asked:

BETH WHAT DO U THINK OF MRS JIAN

Omg so I used to think she was a cold bitch, and I still think she’s a bit of a cold bitch – but I think she’s had to be? 

Once married/a partner to the head guy of some Chinese triad; working to support her kid and keep him safe; having to deal with Mr Jian and He Cheng’s bullshit all the time? 

Everything she’s done, I think, has been for Jian Yi. But doing everything for him is not the same as being there for him, so we’ve definitely seen Jian Yi and Ms. Jian’s relationship through the prism of Jian Yi, and I am so grateful that we’re getting to see more of her and from her own perspective. 

Old Xian writes good female characters (though I’m still ‘eh’ on Zixi) who are more/show themselves to be more than they seem.

This isn’t the face of a woman who doesn’t care that much about her son.

This isn’t the face of a woman who wouldn’t do everything for her son.

She’s out to reap.

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SIMS NO FILTER CHALLENGE

Ayyeee.. I wasn’t really tagged but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Challenge by @butterfly-tattoo 

Rules: Take a picture of the sim that’s normally associated with your blog (your legacy founder/lead character in your story etc.), now take away all their cc (except their hair, eyebrows, and skin color), then do a before and after picture.

I’m tagging @plumb-barb, @simtasia, @simgallery@touchmypixels, @cakenoodles​, @girl-just-simming-around​, @fanaskher​, @buckleysims​, @obsimmian​, @pixelddump​, @freckled-pixels​, @lanyxie​, @narusasu-simblr​, @gohliath​, @itsniiaa-simblr 

Notes: I did a girls edition (or at least the more relevant girls that I have). Fenix looks like god either way and tbh for the sake of this I gave her a little more makeup than usual because I normally don’t have her wear lipstick. With Ani I’m very happy I did this because I didn’t realize how much I actually LOVE her with a complete bare face. She looks so different and kind of like this one girl I wanted to model her after.. so she might just wear some tiny lashes from now on and call it a day because I’m into it. And finally there’s Jaide.. she wears the most in game makeup because I spent the least amount of time on her custom skin. I wish I could get her lips the same texture as the one she wears in game.. also her eyes look so different without eyeshadow lol.

P.S. If you did this already then please disregard.. and if I didn’t tag you it’s because I already seen you do it ^_^