nails-how-to

this is so accurate.

To all you people who have beautiful, long,painted, manicured, shiny, made-of-perfection nails,

How?

okay but let’s say “women can be sexist!” okay fine sure. so a woman is sexist, she says, “i hate men,” you say, “fuck off lady,” go home kinda hurt that she’s mean. the next day you will interact with plenty of women who aren’t sexist. that one woman becomes a story you tell your buddies and everyone laughs. your life doesn’t change.

this is the reverse of how women live. at every interaction, our bodies are ready to flinch. when a man says, “i hate women,” most of us don’t say, “fuck off,” we feel our hearts beat faster and our hands tremble. we go home panicked. happy to be in one piece. happy we made it out of there. we don’t talk about you. you are not the first person to disrespect us, and you won’t be the last. you are the scar every single one of us carries. the next day, all but a few of the men we talk to will carry your face: our boss who constantly checks out his secretary, the man in the cubicle next to us who is always making sex jokes and saying, “what’s wrong sweetie?” when we ask for help, the man down the hall who likes to put cups on his chest and sing out “oh no i broke a nail!” and toss his hair and show that female is stupid and clumsy and everyone always laughs but the air in our lungs is so tight we can’t swallow it.

let’s say some women are sexist. she yelled at you for holding the door open. she told you men are babies. she made a post on the internet saying “even if some of us might be, we are nowhere near as dangerous to you as you are to us”. she is one out of sixteen hundred.

let’s say some men really are nice guys. he doesn’t get angry if you snap at small things. he doesn’t call you hysterical if you start crying. he is constantly unlearning everything sexist that has been taught to him. he knows that a post which hurts his feelings won’t ever equate to someone following him home. he is one out of sixteen hundred.

men say, “i’m not a sexist, i married a woman.” men say, “i’m just playing devil’s advocate.” men say, “you don’t get how bad rejection is.” men say, “i’m not one of them, i’m a nice guy and if you let me fuck you, you’d know it.”

women say, “i hate men.”

men say, “its not my fault the system is like this. and besides, we have problems too.”

women say, “please, i just want to walk down the street without being worried what you will do”

men say, “if you want equal, can i punch you?”

—  I’m sorry if you were ever hurt by something someone angry said. It doesn’t mean you have any idea what it’s like to live like this. You cannot equate a rotten apple in a bushel to a swarm of wasps, one of which might be a pacifist.  // r.i.d

I made a tutorial for all of you on how to do these gemstone/rupee nails! The concept was originally inspired by a wood block painting tutorial done by Fabric Paper Glue, but I just loved the illusion and look of it so much that I wanted to adapt it to nail art!

This tutorial requires only three colors: Your basic color, black, and white. You will be mixing these colors to create the 6 shades needed to complete the look. In the top right corner, you can see that I’ve illustrated a sort of “paint by number”. The number 3 shade is the color right out of the bottle. The number 1 shade has the most white mixed in (I used about 3 globs of white polish), and your number 6 shade has the most black (I used two small globs of black polish). Be careful when you first mix in your black polish - black can be very overpowering and will make the color very dark very fast! Remember: you can always add more as needed!

Step 1: paint your entire nail with your #3 shade. Allow polish to dry completely (that is super important! if you don’t allow it to be completely dried, you will get yucky marks from the tape later on)
Step 2: take two pieces of striping tape and line two parallel areas running longways on either side of your nail. These two areas should be more narrow than the center area.
Step 3: fill in the left area with your #1 shade (lightest), and the right area with your #6 shade (darkest). It’s okay if its a little messy - that’s why you have the tape! Allow polish to dry completely before pealing up the tape.
Step 4: take two more pieces of striping tape and tape off two more parallel areas, this time running shortways.
Step 5: fill in both areas with your #4 shade (just slightly darker than the base). Try not to paint over the areas you created in Step 3. If it’s a little messy, that’s okay, but I would recommend trying not to paint to the outside edges of the nail. This will help later when you are painting your corners. Again, wait for the polish to dry completely before removing the tape.
Step 6: Taking your #2 shade (just slightly lighter than your base), create a trapezoid shape at the top and bottom corner on the left side. This part can get a little tricky to figure out the angle that your lines should go. It helps to remember that each shape you are creating on the nail will be a trapezoid (i.e. bigger on the outside edge and smaller on the inside edge).
Step 7: repeat Step 6 using your #5 shade on the right side of the nail. 

Finish off with topcoat and your gems are ready!

Let me know if you have any questions about these nails! I can’t wait to see your nails when you try them!

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Brass nails and why I have them.

Ever since last night I’ve been getting a lot of questions about my brass fingernails. First of all. NO, they are not prosthesis. i have them for a specific reason.

Here’s what they look like:

another view 

HERE’s is the reason:

I bite my nails all the time. constantly, idly, without thinking.

If you’re like me, and love giving back scratches, then having no nails is a problem:

Here’s how chose to fix this problem:

Shoot bullet, collect casing.

cut bullet.

The bullets have a taper inside. we will want the broader side of the taper to be outward on our nails, and the thinner side against the rear of the nail so there is no jutting up of material when they are glued on. Here’s what that taper looks like, one cylinder is flipped over to show how thick it is at the base:

clip, bend, and trim into a nail shape:

sand for a fine (BUT NOT CUTTING SHARP) edge on the front and smooth edges.

Glue with Krazy glue, it’s the best.

it’ll dry quick. NOW TRY BACK SCRATCHES. LOOK AT THIS DIFFERENCE.

Amazing. the nails will stay on for about a week at a time before working themselves loose, when that happens just scrape the glue off and reapply.

Unless you happen to have reached into the closet and snagged it on your shelves and broke the nail off on your pinky cuz holy god that hurt. reapply anyways.

Also these work as screwdrivers, knives and various other multi-tools at the tip of your finger, so that’s pretty rad. I don’t know how odd i should feel about having done this, but i must say; it’s handy as hell and really fun to have nails again.

OH, also you can shine them with “brasso” or something but screw that, I’ve tried that and they get mirror bright and really annoyingly shiny. not my thing.

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in·ti·ma·cy (noun)  

1. close or warm friendship or understanding; personal relationship 2. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.