“Aw, c’mon, partner,” Dale coos through the door, but you were hardly listening. As quietly as possible, you were searching the bathroom cupboards for something that you could use as a weapon, “Don’t make me knock down this door,”
You ignore his taunts, and try to gather yourself. Any second he was going to force his way into the bathroom, and you had to be ready.
“Fuck,” your voice so low it was barely audible. There wasn’t anything you could use, not even a nail file. You’re going to have to fight the old fashioned way. Positioning yourself in front of the closed door, you take deep breaths, trying to calm your nerves and still your shaking fists.
“Y/N,” Dale’s voice turned from fake charm to frustrated and blunt, “I really don’t want to kill you. So come on out and I can give you the pitch,”
ENOUGH AREADY! WE GET IT - YOU THINK YOU *KNOW* SLYTHERIN...
We get that you think Slytherin girls are ‘winged eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man’. We get that you think our aesthetic is blood-red lipstick, the clack of stilettos on marble floors, and nails filed to a sharp point.
We get it.
We get that you think Slytherin boys are ‘jaw lines sharp enough to kill a man’ (perhaps we have that in common with the girls, you think?). We get that you think our mood is bitter black coffee, Shakespearean insults, and the burn of vodka as it cascades down your throat.
We get it. So enough already.
You think you know Slytherin? You think our girls are ‘bad-ass bitches’ and our boys are ‘refined gentlemen with wicked sharp tongues’?
Well, let us tell you what it really means to embody power, pride, fraternity, cunning, and ambition.
We’d be lying if we said Slytherin wasn’t that warm feeling of sinking deeper into your seat on the bus after you watch someone miss their stop. But, for all that, Slytherin is also when you were a child sitting on your dad’s shoulders - that feeling of being literally on top of the world, made all the more proud for knowing not only that the people who love you will raise you up but will be there to catch you if you fall.
That’s Slytherin - it’s what you wanted to be when you grew up, it’s your imaginary friend, and it’s getting an A on a test you studied damn fucking hard for.
And, sure, Slytherin is also silently thanking yourself that you looked your best on the days you ran into an ex partner. But Slytherin is the courage to end a going-nowhere relationship in the first place. Slytherin means willing to do what no one else can or will, to put aside desire, fear, and comfort and to just shed what doesn’t serve them; that means being cruel to be kind and knowing, in fact, that cruelty and kindness are not black and white concepts.
That’s Slytherin - it’s your little black dress, it’s self-help books, and it’s drunken chats with strangers in nightclub bathrooms.
We are so much more complex than men in suits or women in doc martens. If all you can think of is conceit when you think of cunning and if all you can think of is dominance when you think of power…then you do not know us. And we will not ask you to try harder next time because we would rather speak for ourselves.
So, enough already; we want ‘us’ done right, so we will do it ourselves.
lance: [files his nails] i don’t know, hunk! i just think it’s funny how– [plucks his eyebrows] shiro decided to put keith?? [aggressively exfoliates] of all people?? [applies lip balm] in charge of the team :/
Pharah and Sombra walk into a jail. Sombra says “what are YOU doing here?” Pharah holds up a wad of Bail Money and says “getting my idiot little brother out of jail.” Sombra says, “what a coincidence, I’m here getting my idiot brother out of jail too” and holds up a cake with a nail file in it.
This is Baby Kitty. She likes to hoard her fat butt up in my room to hide from the dog as well as having hobbies of doing this with her legs. She also likes to sit on plastic bags while licking a nail file.
1. Take a pencil to write with on aeroplanes. Pens leak. But if the pencil breaks, you can’t sharpen it on the plane, because you can’t take knives with you. Therefore: take two pencils.
2. If both pencils break, you can do a rough sharpening job with a nail file of the metal or glass type.
3. Take something to write on. Paper is good. In a pinch, pieces of wood or your arm will do.
4. If you’re using a computer, always safeguard new text with a memory stick.
5. Do back exercises. Pain is distracting.
6. Hold the reader’s attention. (This is likely to work better if you can hold your own.) But you don’t know who the reader is, so it’s like shooting fish with a slingshot in the dark. What fascinates A will bore the pants off B.
7. You most likely need a thesaurus, a rudimentary grammar book, and a grip on reality. This latter means: there’s no free lunch. Writing is work. It’s also gambling. You don’t get a pension plan. Other people can help you a bit, but essentially you’re on your own. Nobody is making you do this: you chose it, so don’t whine.
8. You can never read your own book with the innocent anticipation that comes with that first delicious page of a new book, because you wrote the thing. You’ve been backstage. You’ve seen how the rabbits were smuggled into the hat. Therefore ask a reading friend or two to look at it before you give it to anyone in the publishing business. This friend should not be someone with whom you have a romantic relationship, unless you want to break up.
9. Don’t sit down in the middle of the woods. If you’re lost in the plot or blocked, retrace your steps to where you went wrong. Then take the other road. And/or change the person. Change the tense. Change the opening page.
10. Prayer might work. Or reading something else. Or a constant visualisation of the holy grail that is the finished, published version of your resplendent book.
6. “Move away from the door and let me at him.” + 25. “Put me down!”- Bucky Barnes
Bucky Barnes had a very special talent of being able to drive you up the wall without saying a single word. His mere presence was enough to annoy you, and he knew it. However, one or two of your friends continuously hinted that what you were feeling wasn’t exactly annoyance.
“You do!” Wanda exclaimed, eating a large spoon of chocolate ice cream, “You so like him, you just won’t admit it!”
“I do not like that egotistic, careless, brutish, arrogant…” You ranted, kicking your legs up in the air as you lay upside down on your bed.
“Okay, okay, we get the point!” Natasha interrupted, chuckling quietly to herself as she filed her nails.
“I can’t believe you are trying to deny this, I can literally read your mind.” Wanda smirked, laughing as you threw a pillow at her head.
“Shutup Wilson, I do not like her, she’s insufferable!” Bucky grunted, taking a swig of his beer as he flipped his friend off.
“Oh come on man, you seek her out like a damn moth to a flame!” Sam chuckled, pointing the neck of his beer in Bucky’s direction
“He’s right Buck, it’s the age old awful stereotype of a little boy pulling a little girls pigtails because he likes her.” Steve smirked, bumping his fist with Sam as they both laughed at their clueless friend.
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Bucky exclaimed, scowling as his friends continued to laugh at him. “Fine! What’ve I gotta do to get you jerks off my back?” He asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“Ooooh, this could be interesting…” Sam grinned, looking over at his blond friend, “So many opportunities!”
“It has to be something she’d hate, something that would make her so annoyed that she’d get that look like she was about to explode…” Steve hummed, dropping his head back against the sofa.
“I know!” Sam clicked his fingers, jumping up from his seat, “Drop her in the pool!”
“Seriously, that’s it?” Bucky scoffed, placing his bottle down on the coffee table.
“Ooh, no that’s good!” Steve murmured, “She hates water, comes with the pyromancer territory.”
“Okay, fine!” Bucky huffed, getting up and storming out of the room, Steve and Sam following behind him like excitable children.
“And then, it blew up in his face!” Wanda laughed, causing you and Natasha to burst out laughing as well.
“Stark’s such an idiot.” You chuckled fondly, flicking through your instagram feed on your phone.
Just as Natasha began regaling the two of you with stories of failed missions, the door slammed open and the last person in the world you wanted to see came striding in.
“Barnes, what the fu-” You exclaimed, not being able to finish your sentence before you were scooped up in his arms and thrown over his shoulder.
“Put me down!” You shouted, hitting your fists against his back as he carried you through the corridors, “What the hell do you think your doing?”
As the two of you walked through a set of double doors, you still struggling in his grip, it suddenly became very clear where he was taking you. Going still for a moment, you dropped your voice an octave before growling.
“James Buchanan Barnes, I swear to god if you drop me in the pool, you will rue the day you were ever born!”
Without another word, you were unceremoniously dropped in the cold water, spluttering and shivering your broke the surface to see the faces of 4 of your team mates looking utterly shocked, and the 5th looking way to smug.
“What the fuck Barnes?” Wanda exclaimed, turning to glare at the super soldier. Moving silently through the water, you pulled yourself out, barely controlling your anger.
“I can’t believe he actually did it…” Sam murmured to Steve, both boys looking ridiculously guilty.
“You better run Barnes.” Natasha said ominously, raising an eyebrow at the brunette as he started looking more nervous, inching towards the double doors before making a run for it.
In a matter of seconds, the doors slammed shut and Steve and Sam moved into place in front of them, blocking your path. Finally losing your cool, you charged at the two men, snarling as Steve wrapped an arm around your middle to stop your way.
“Move away from the door and let me at him.” You growled, tears rolling down your cheeks.
“Y/N… this is all just a big misunderstanding…” Steve murmured placatingly brows furrowing as you continued to struggle.
“This isn’t a misunderstanding Steve, everyone here knows how much I hate water, he’s just a huge jackass!” You snarled, losing a bit of your edge as a sob broke past your lips.
“Y/N I-” Sam, trailing off as the two finally let you go.
You weren’t going to confront Barnes now, no, you were going to cry in your room. About your fear of water, and how this guy you had slowly fallen for turned out to be exactly who you thought he was all along.
Pledis: Okay you guys it is FINALLY time! We are going to release a dark concept!
Jun: Thank God
Joshua: *quietly* noo
Vernon: *high fives S.Coups*
Pledis: Um maybe because you have only done cute concepts since debut, and Carats are ready to see you be mysterious, dangerous, bad and show yourselves as tortured souls.
Minghao: *looks up with puppy eyes* I thought we already were tough?
Seungkwan: *pulls out nail file and begins filing nails* Yeah our manly image exudes in every performance we give!
Jeonghan: *rolls eyes*
Pledis: Whatever. Look I want you to come strong with the action and charisma. We need mega sex appeal!
Dino: Pretty sure I’m not legal
Hoshi: Pretty sure nobody cares, SO! I have a great idea for the outfits!
Woozi:*under breath* of course you do
Pledis: Tell me
Hoshi: How about we wear these really cool jackets and we ta–
Pledis: TAKE THEM OFF AND SHOW BARE SKIN! GREAT IDEA! Usually that’s something Starship would do, but it’s not like that’s helped them one bit so we can do that most definitely!
Hoshi: I was going to say that when we take them off we reveal a track suit underneath!
Joshua: *raises hand* I second this idea.
S.Coups: Wow that is sexy! And how about we have a lot of spy and espionage type things, maybe even sho–
Pledis: SHOW YOU GUYS KILLING OR BEING KILLED IN LIKE A SUPER TRAGIC WAY! THAT IS GENIUS!
S.Coups: No…I was going to say we can show a bunch of maps and kind of stand out on in a soccer field or something.
Seungkwan: And I can even have a restless sleep with a ship in a bottle behind me!
Vernon: Wow, This dark concept sounds awesome. Move over BAP. We’re about to be the top dogs of darkness!
Wonwoo: I want to dye my hair blonde, I want to really show the bad boy look
Mingyu: And we did get the okay to dye my hair out of this ridiculous orange color right? It’s bad enough having one video with this color I DEF don’t want two.
Pledis: DO ANY OF YOU BOYS EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF DARK CONCEPT???? NONE OF THE THINGS YOU SUGGESTED ARE EVEN DARK!!!!
S.Coups: Oh so you want us to suggest something dark to you?
S.Coups: *gestures to Jeonghan*
Jeonghan: *flicks his hair back and walks over to Pledis*
Jeonghan: *puts hand on Pledis shoulder*
Jeonghan: *leans in and whispers* If you don’t let us do whatever the CENSORED we want to CENSORED do then we’ll leave you and your CENSORED company in the dust so fast you’ll be kissing Nu’est butts with chapstick to try and hit it big again. Got it?
S.Coups: *yells* DID YOU GET THE FREAKING PICTURE?!!
Pledis: *jumps* Y-yes Sir…I mean Sirs!
S.Coups: Good, now go. And don’t come back unless you have our paychecks and a–
Dino: bag of skittles!
S.Coups: *rolls eyes* Bag of skittles in your hands!
Pledis: *turns and leaves*
Joshua: So….when did we get so bold exactly?
Hoshi: when we realized our record sales were the only thing that was keeping the lights on.
Joshua: I’ll admit, it does feel a little good.
Jeonghan: *stands back up* I’ll be back. I want to go scream at him again and see if he’ll cry this time.
sorry if these aren’t v good,,,, i’m bad at writing headcanons or writing in general,,,
Keith - Has a little dragon stuff toy,, it was given to him by his mom -sometimes when hes sad he’ll just hug the toy,, - Even though he’s busy all the time (warrior stuff) he likes to read and draw. a lot. he might not be good at it, but it expresses his feelings and his room is just covered in unfinished / finished paintings. - sometimes he steals lance’s jacket ‘cause it smells like him - when lance, pidge or hunk aren’t around he talks to red (about lance, about his day, about his family) - red will rest her head on keith’s lap and keith will pet her as he talks - keith files red’s nail every so often because he’s scared that she’ll break them when landing - he and lance sometimes do each others nails, then the dragons’ - he used to be really bad at nail painting till lance showed him how
Lance - lance is the one who paints keith’s nails - lance loves to read and is a dragon geek. since he wasn’t allowed to be a warrior when he was younger, he spent all his time reading, learning as much as he could about dragons and their anatomy and just everything in hopes to impress at least someone - when keith is down he’ll read to him,, stories about dragons and warrior legends, ‘cause he knows that keith loves to hear his voice - he likes to weave his own flower crowns and make red and blue wear them together - lance then pesters keith to draw them - lance also made a flower crown for keith made of red roses on his birthday and keith actually teared up - he drew all over his dragon saddle with ink and let it dry
Hunk - on special occasions he’ll cook a really really good meal for the paladins to enjoy - he likes to fly to quiet places and nap with yellow - sleepovers!! he plans them thoroughly and makes sure that everyone is comfortable - there’s one of those baby mobile things that are made of shiny shells that hangs from his ceiling and he loves it sm - every sunday he cooks with his mom and they enjoy it a lot - whenever yellow coughs or sneezes hunk is super worried and makes yellow rest for a day or two
Pidge - when she was a kid she and matt went out to sea when they weren’t meant to and found a blue-spotted gray egg - she watched that egg, kept it warm, took care of it for many months and it hatched and named the dragon rover - pidge likes to hang around in the place where the armorsmith works ‘cause she likes to see how everything is made - she hung around there until the armorsmith let her become his apprentice - she modifies everything - she was the one who molded shiro’s arm and added little functions to it - rover and green are always fighting for attention - rover helps pidge with getting stuff - pidge’s saddle for green is the most high-tech - green and her like to go out and pick healing herbs
Shiro - he has an… interesting bond with black - he’s constantly stressed as he’s chief and yells at black all the time - black is mature and strong (emotionally and physically) so he doesn’t really care - once shiro fell off black during a flight and black saved him - their relationship was better after that - black is v curious about shiro’s arm, and shiro’s curious about black’s tail (which is broken like toothless’s) - they match - the paladins like to draw on black’s tail, and she pretends to hate it - lance once showed shiro some tricks with blue and shiro called it stupid - shiro ended up mastering every single trick with black and for a week they strutted around and whenever they passed the paladins their mouths would be wide open and shiro found it hilarious
Allura & Coran - she’s super strong and can kick anyone’s ass - when she found out about the village’s dragon arena she challenged every dragon trainer and beat them all - she works with pidge to create medicines for both dragons and people - coran works with pidge in the armorsmith place (whats the word i forgot ,, ) - coran is super scared for pidge ‘cause she likes to pour liquid iron into a mold from a high point - allura is concerned for pidge as she likes to fly recklessly - allura and coran will both kill the person who lays a finger on any of the paladins - they’re secretly competing to see how many times they can save the paladins from danger allura’s stats: keith  lance  pidge  hunk  shiro 
Matt - he and shiro are seeing who can be the most buff - you can barely see him on a day to day basis as he’s always exercising - whenever shiro sees matt on the streets he’ll lunge at him and tackle him in hope to finally defeat him in wrestling (he gets the element of surprise) - it doesn’t work - matt is normally seen with dumbells in his hands and it pisses shiro off - his room is basically a gym his bed is one of the gym things - shiro is trying to get matt to tell him his secrets - “its a drug that pidge made isn’t it” - “shiro i don’t take drugs” - “theres no way you can be more buff than i am”
[ @parfaitperi i hope you like it,, sorry if it like,, sucks,, or doesn’t really apply to your au storyline as it’s kinda based off my storyline,,,, which i am still writing (i was the one who asked you for fanfic permission)]
darling, you are the one
born with galaxies and supernovas like fireworks in your eyes.
your fingers hold strength that mine will never know.
your bones carry prophecies that mine does not dare dream of.
i was only born
with flower petals staining my cheeks pink
and strange songs murmuring faintly in my heart.
i was only born
with snatches of fool’s good trapped in my hair
and gossamer tangled somewhere between my lungs and my ribs.
and darling, i do not mind
if your light is brighter
your voice is louder
your steps are stronger
i have always known, after all,
that your fate soars much higher than mine ever will
and it does not do to envy a demigod
or an angel
or a hero
or a friend.
but darling, this i swear:
when they come for you
(and they will, my darling,
let’s not lie to ourselves
to each other)
i will grind my teeth into bloodlust fangs.
i will file my nails into tigers’ claws.
darling, this i swear:
i will make poisons of the flowers in my cheeks
and spiderwebs of the gossamer torn from my chest.
i will teach my heart to beat to the rhythm of a battle drum.
and this, this i swear:
i will make them all face
the thin-edged broken glass
s h a t t e r e d p i e c e s
gods should fear when pretty little things goes to war ( j.p. )
Thank you ALL for being patient with me, the past month has been a blur, but here we are…a quick one-shot as I complete the follow up to Barcelona. Enjoy :)
A/N: You faked an orgasm, Bucky overhears this, his ego is bruised and his anger unbound.
I didn’t have to turn to feel his searing heat upon my back as we entered the house. This was a new kind of anger with its own set of consequences. I opened the door to our bedroom and walked to the window looking out into the gray sky and as if on cue the rain pelted heavily against the window as the lightning cracked into the now darkened sky, which matched Bucky’s current mood. He didn’t say anything, he dropped his bag on the chair and unzipped it, unpacking its contents loudly as he observed me silently, which meant he had something on his mind.
“Are you going to tell me what I did wrong?” I asked turning to face him. “Or will I have to guess?” My words having more bite than I intended.
The dull ache in Bucky’s temple came forth with a burning vengeance. “You faked an orgasm.”
The air left my lungs and my knees weakened as he uttered those four words. I inhaled deeply trying to steady myself, but the tremor went deep to the bone.
“Oh my God,” I repeated to myself silently. He knows, how does he know? Did the ladies tell him? No, they wouldn’t.
“You were spying on me?” I stated. I knew that he wasn’t but I didn’t know what else to say.
After we debriefed the men went to the weight room to unwind and the ladies and I went to the steam room to decompress. Wanda and Nat were talking about past relationships and the lengths they went to feed the male ego and the subject of faking an orgasm came up.
His anger broiled. “How many did you fake?”
“You are being ridiculous.” I deflected.
“Don’t you dare.” He replied. “I’m not playing this game with you.”
“It’s not a game. You won’t believe what I say, so why try to explain?”
“What we do in our bedroom is between you and I, Doll, not you, I and the whole damn team.”
“I know.” I answered trying to defuse his anger.
“Then why would you fucking tell them about our sex life?” He shouted as his anger found another spark.
He never cursed at me, this was new. My inner goddess slipped her headphones over her ears and began to file her nails. She wasn’t having any parts of this argument.
“It wasn’t like that, you are making this into something that it’s not.”
“How many did you fake?” He asked as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.
“One. It was only once.”
“Does it matter?”
“When?” He repeated rubbing his eyes.
“Wakanda.” I answered, watching as his mind flashed back to that night.
We’ve been in Wakanda for a few weeks training alongside T’Challa’s team from sunrise to sunset. Into the third week, the training started to take its toll on my body, unlike Bucky and the rest of the team who thrived off of the exhaustion that seems to roll off their muscular backs like sweat, I was the opposite.
By the time we showered and went to bed, all I wanted to do was sleep and rest my achy limbs, but Bucky wanted more than I could physically give him, I should’ve said I was too tired or that I’m not in the mood, but I didn’t, I opened my legs and felt his steel as he overpowered me, but I couldn’t get there and I knew the only way out was to fake an orgasm. Sleep was more important then, than his male ego.
“I’m sorry.” I croaked as my thoughts reeled through my head.
“Sorry? That’s all you have to say?” He exhaled loudly, signaling that he was completely done with this conversation.
“I don’t know what else you want me to say. I should’ve told you I was too tired, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
He scoffs. “My feelings? Did you take my feelings into consideration when you told Wanda and Natasha that I couldn’t satisfy you, so you had to fake it.”
“You’re putting words in my mouth. I never said you didn’t satisfy me because you do in every way and I’m sorry. If I could go back I wouldn’t have said anything, but I can’t.” I paused, “please.”
The energy shifted in the room from anger to lust then mingling together in a thick sexual fog that was unadulterated good lust. He pulled his shirt over his head and undid his jeans.
“What are you doing?” I asked watching the angry and sexy striptease.
He steps out of his jeans and boxers and strides towards me in one swift movement, words were obsolete, he reaches for me sweeping the dress over my head. My chest heaves as his fingers brushed against my nipples that pebbled, the fire between us was undeniable as our lips met.
Without warning, he enters me, filling me to the hilt in one swift movement. He pulls my legs towards him, so that they fell on the sides of the pillow, giving him full control. He grips my waist and slams into me repeatedly, holding me in place as he delved deeply and deliciously into my epicenter. I grabbed ahold of his knee as he unleashed his wrath upon me like the unyielding winds of a hurricane.
I screamed out, “James! I’m coming, oh God!”
He rolls me onto my back, “Are you lying to me?” He asked as his knee pried my legs apart, delving into me with one sweet, aching and smooth stroke and then another, and another, deeper than the previous. “Are you faking it?”
“No, please!” I pleaded, but he was deaf to all pleas, cries, and moans. I don’t know at what point I lost myself in the multiple orgasms that rippled throughout what was left of my shattered psyche, but I no longer knew myself. I was nothing but dead weight in his hands.