nah you got this

limabeanteam  asked:

I'm sorry to keep messaging you on here I've never used patron and it's very confusing to me lol. When I signed up it had me put in my address and for the rewards you ship out an I good on that or do I need to give it to your on patreon somewhere? Thank you and sorry again

Nah ur good! Anyone who got cleared will recieve a token >:u i made so everyone need to write their addresses when pledging

3

Gongmyung congratulating his brother 

Dad, there’s a monster in my closet…

Story by VITDstories

I woke up feeling a presence standing beside my bed, jolting me out of my sleep. It was my son, and it was 2:38am.

“Dad, there’s something in my closet. I’m scared.”

My wife rolled over at the sound of his voice. “…huh? What’s wrong, honey?” she said, half asleep.

“Closet monster, apparently” I said.

Keep reading

Rhythm | Lee Joo Heon | One-Shot

jooheon (monstax) + you (reader)
word count: 7,233
warnings: i have no excuse for this flithy, graphic smut (that includes but is not limited to thigh riding, breath play, mild degradation, spanking, etc) and strong language (some slut shaming) and brief mentions of infidelity
a/n: i was inspired by the new mv and channeled that inspiration into a gang!au, bad boy jooheon sexy time fest and before you say anything yes i know he is a total squish in real life that’s why it’s called fiction :)

Keep reading

i’m sorry but how the hell is tony stark selfish? the man flew a fucking missile into OUTER SPACE knowing that there was a chance he could die, but lived and ended up suffering from ptsd from it. also the man made his company stop selling weapons after seeing how dangerous they could be and seeing it in the arms of terrorists. let’s not also forget that he went after his mentor when he learned that he was dealing under the table. this is also the same man who tried to create ultron with the idea of helping the world when the avengers can’t (like oh idk when there’s some random ass alien invasion???). he also wanted accountability for his team, since they’ve destroyed manhattan, dropped a city, which resulted in MANY lives lost, also let’s not forget the incident in lagos, where people died. he also was most likely the one hooking up his team with nice gear, the same team where most of them turned their backs on him to help a guy who seemed more worried about the safety of one friend, which resulted in all their arrests when st//ve and the friend got out fine. 

but tony stark is the selfish one of the group?

Countdown

BACK WITH ANOTHER ONE-SHOT!!! I told you guys I’d have some canonverse klangst, so here it is! Longer than my usual one-shots, and while I don’t want to give a vague summary… there’s a bomb involved. So. Yeah, that’s a thing.

This one is actually inspired by this absolutely gorgeous, angsty art/mini-comic by @littlecofiegirl who is an amazing artist that you should definitely check out!!

I saw this comic on my dash and I loved it so much that I was immediately inclined to write for it? Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy!


The plan had been going flawlessly.

Key word being had.

Shiro and Lance were both searching opposite sides of the base for their captured teammate, and Pidge and Hunk were too occupied giving Shiro directions through the maze-like corridors that they neglected to warn Lance of the approaching Galra heat signature.

A cat blocked his path in the hall, staring at him with large, yellow eyes. It didn’t move to attack, but it also didn’t run away.

“Um… guys?” Lance tried over the coms, lowering his gun just a bit. He wasn’t about to shoot a cat, but he still wanted to be on guard.

He didn’t hear the Galra behind him until her hand was on his shoulder.

That was mistake number one.

Keep reading

Just Friends? (Christian Yu SMUT)

Pairing: Christian Yu x Reader (DPR Founder/Ex C-Clown member)

Warnings: heavy on the smut. Calling him Oppa (idk that might trigger people) really minor angst with a happy ending.

Word count: 3568 (I can’t believe it either guys, I thought it’d be a short one.)

Summary: Friends with unspoken mutual feelings have fun on the couch but realize that there is much more to talk about.

_______________________________________________________________________

You were never really ‘just friends.’

The way you both looked at each other from time to time would already confirm that you weren’t. Not to mention the sleeping and cuddling together, the stares or the subtle touches. It was obvious both of you had feelings for each other. Yet neither of you had the balls to actually take it to the next stage.

He got jealous whenever you were around other men, and so did you when he had one of those music video shoots where all of these girls on set have a hunger for Christian and the fame that came with him. But when you or him ever got mad out of jealousy, the argument was always brushed off because the obvious question would linger. “Why are you even jealous, we’re not together are we?”

Every time you heard or said those words something inside of you would just break. Why couldn’t you just open your damn mouth and tell Christian how you really feel. Because you’re scared he’ll be done with you after he tests the waters? He’ll eventually get bored and leave right? So if you keep him at an arms length, but still close enough to hold, then that won’t happen… right?

“Stop thinking” you quietly mumble to yourself. You knelt down in front of your TV to connect it to your laptop.

“What?” Christian asked.

“Uh- Stupid thing.” You quickly ‘repeat’ yourself.

Christian was on the couch, patiently waiting, enjoying the view of your ass basically hanging out of your too short shorts. You didn’t even notice as you were so deep in thought, fumbling with a few cables that would connect your laptop to the TV and sound system.

Christian laid himself down on the couch sideways, supporting his head with his hand, watching your every move. “Need a hand?” he says amused biting his bottom lip.

“Nah, I’ve got it” you say getting up. You turn around to look at him seeing he was already laying down on your couch. It’s like his body was presented to you on a silver platter, but you quickly get those thoughts out of your head diverting your attention to the smug grin on his face.

“You better not fall asleep; I’m not watching Naruto while you snore.” You say throwing a pillow at his face which he oh so conveniently catches, putting it behind his head for support.

“I promise I won’t, c’mere” he says holding out his hand. You walk towards him swatting his hand away. He chuckles as you do so. You sit down in front of his torso and lean back folding your legs over each other. The intro ended and just as you wanted to start focusing, he grabs your arm and slowly pulls you down with him.

“We’ll both be more comfortable this way” he nonchalantly states, pulling you closer as he put out his arm for you to rest your head on. His other arm wraps around your waist after he brushed your hair out of your face.

“Comfy?” he asks. “Yes” you lie.

How could you possibly be comfortable with all of this sexual tension and unspoken frustration. How could you even concentrate on the damn anime like this? Your head was close enough to Christians chest to hear his heartbeat over the speaker sounds.

Your hands. What the fuck do you do with your hands. You awkwardly intertwined your fingers so you wouldn’t be tempted to touch him more than you already wanted to.

“Are you cold?” he asks grabbing your hands. “Jesus they’re freezing Y/n, let me get a blanket.” He said before you could answer the question.

A blanket? Sure let’s share the damn blanket.

You’re not cold. Your insides are at a dangerously high temperature every time he touches you. You were everything but cold, even though your hands state otherwise.

He quickly got up, pausing the anime, and got back just as fast with your favorite beige fleece fluffy blanket. He laid back down, grabbing your arm again to get you to lay back down with him. He sweetly caresses your hair and covers both of you with the blanket. It was soft and warm. Just like Christian.

“Better?” he asks bringing his hand down your waist again where it was before. You look up at him and nod giving him a shy smile, hiding your face in his arm.

He chuckled kissing the top of your head.

Like that you watched Naruto, with every minute that passed you started to feel more and more comfortable in Christian’s arms, because of that, the tension in your body left as well. You were able to relax. Sometimes as Christian would adjust his hold on you the tension came back, but it left quickly afterwards. It was like this was how it was supposed to be.

After a while you find yourself not paying much attention to your TV anymore, you started to lightly trace Christians tattoo’s on his underarm with your index finger.

Little did you know that Christian hadn’t been paying attention to the TV either. He was in a trance just like you, watching you retrace your path on his tattoo’s every now and then, making random circles on his skin, or writing things. Things he didn’t feel good enough to know what you were writing, but to him it was sweet and endearing. Your soft touches felt good, your touch was just the right amount of ticklishness and softness mixed together.

He inhaled and exhaled strongly, which was just enough to get you out of your trance. As you snap out of it you immediately stop your movements as you look up at the television screen to see that the credits were rolling. Your eyes widen as you feel Christian’s hand creep up under your shirt onto your stomach. His hand was warm and soft on your skin.

“Why did you stop” he whispers in your ear. “It felt good” he started to teasingly trace his fingers around your belly button and all you could do was hold your breath. You didn’t even notice your hand was tightly holding his other hand on the arm you were resting your head on.

His finger went lower, he teasingly stopped at the hem of your panties, and stroked his fingers back up to your belly button.

You were ticklish and sensitive, and didn’t really know what was happening. Was this going to be the day where that damn barrier between the two of you was going to be broken? And all it took was a little Naruto?

You hold your breath but can’t keep it in anymore as he brings his lips closer to your ear. “Does that feel good to you?” he asks whispering in your ear, planting a wet kiss in your neck.

You whimper as he takes his hand from up under your shirt. Losing all contact to your skin.

He smirked to himself and suddenly put his hand over your clothed heat. Like a reflex your hand quickly grabs his wrist down there, stopping him from moving his hand any further.

Your eyes dart to his dark ones, the look in his eyes is one you hadn’t seen before. They were dark and full of lust. His sweetness disappeared too by the looks of it.

“What, you don’t want me there?” he asks cocking his head sideways. “Not even like this?” he says stretching his index finger in between your clothed folds teasingly rubbing your clit a little.

“I-ahh-Christian…” you moan his name trying to close your thighs.

“Yes or No?” he says with hunger in his eyes.

You don’t even dare to hesitate. “Yes”

That word was like music to his god damn ears. He quickly turned you on your back throwing the blanket on the floor, taking his arm from up under your head and supporting his own weight with it as his other hand disappeared under your panties.

“So wet” he breathes attacking your lips with his while his fingers dance around your clit.

You moan into his mouth, giving his tongue an invitation to play with yours. You hungrily kiss him back. Your hands disappear into his hair, tugging at it as the intense pleasure overcame you. You feel his finger work its magic inside of you, moaning loudly into his mouth as he inserts a second finger into you, pumping you at a faster pace.

“Oppa-I’m” you can’t even finish your sentence as your walls clench around his fingers. You throw your head back, giving Christian the opportunity to suck on your sweet spot in your neck. Your moans got caught in your throat as you find your release. Your juices start to flow as your body shocks from the much needed orgasm.

“God you’re so fucking hot when you cum baby” he says biting your earlobe.

Just when you thought you could finally breathe again, Christian gets up from the couch in one swift move, removing his shirt showing his just right sculpted upper body. When his shirt fell to the floor he took off your clothes, only leaving your panties in a matter of seconds.

“You look so good baby…” he says admiring the view, kneading your breasts with both hands. He got on top of you, taking your left breast into his mouth while playing with your other breast, sometimes slightly pinching your nipple.

You were a mewling mess under him. You could feel his bulge press onto your stomach which made everything so much more intense. You wanted him inside of you, but he quickly grabbed your hands and put them above your head when you tried to get your fingers on the hem of his sweat shorts.

“No baby, I haven’t even tasted you yet” he says smirking down at you. He lifted himself off of you, kissing you again with a little less desperation than before, as if he found the comfort of knowing that you weren’t going anywhere, and you were his for the moment, or moments to come.

“Christian I need you…in me” you pant after your lips detached. “Soon” he says sweetly putting a strand of lost hair behind your ear.

His sweet demeanor quickly disappeared as he roughly turned you on your stomach, smacking your right ass cheek harder than you expected. You squeak as his hand landed on your bum.

“Ass up, face down, hands together between your tits” he demands with a low voice.

You quickly do as he says. You liked this, you’ve never been bossed around with sex like this before, and the mixture of sweet Christian and dominant Christian was turning you on even more if that was even possible.

You couldn’t see him.

The darkness in your living room made it easier to concentrate on sound. You waited for a few seconds but all you could hear was soft sounds of Christian readjusting himself on the couch.

Your eyes widen when you suddenly feel your panties being moved aside when a warm tip pushes against your entrance softly. “I-I thought I had to wait” you say trying to look back at him.

“You do, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tease you.” He says spreading your liquids between your folds with his tip. It was driving you absolutely insane how he would lightly brush against your clit. The friction felt good, but it wasn’t enough.

“Ch-Christian please.” You almost beg. Your voice was cracking and raspy. Your mouth was dry from all the screaming and moaning from just a minute ago.

Just like that he removed his tip from you, again leaving you without any contact to your skin. The loss of touch made you groan in frustration.

“So impatient” he says caressing your upper back to your lower back with just his fingertips. His fingers reached the hem of your panties and he pulls them down. You help him by lifting your knees up off the couch for him, waiting for whatever he had planned next.

You hear him take another position, but since you can’t see what he’s doing, your anticipation lingered.

Suddenly you feel his arms wrap around your torso pulling you down. You let out a little yelp as you feel his mouth envelop around your heat. You sit up out of shock and the intense pleasure he was giving you, fucking you with his tongue. His hands were still on your waist as he ate you out.

Your hands grab onto his, not knowing what to do because you’ve never done this before. You tried lifting yourself off of him, but he made you take it, keeping you in place with his hands still firmly placed on your sides.

He stops for a second. “Does that feel good baby?” you nod furiously covering your mouth trying to mute your moans a little, thinking of your poor neighbors at this hour. He kept going, flicking his tongue faster against your clit, making you go crazy as you reached your high again.

You screamed out his name as your whole body shocked, as if he sensed it, he quickly got up from under you to catch you as your body fell numb. He placed you on the couch softly, kissing your lips ever so gently wiping two tears from your eyes with his thumbs.

You didn’t even notice the tears. You didn’t even notice he was completely naked. You tried to calm yourself down, trying to take in the view of this beautiful man.

“Shhh it’s okay, are you okay? How do you feel? Do I have to stop?” His questions seemed to come all at once, but you couldn’t answer him as you were still trying to calm your breathing down.

“Baby answer me” he says still worried.

You close your eyes, trying to regain composure. Baby huh, you liked your new nickname.

“Your turn” you say, opening your eyes.

“What?” he asks confused. “I said, your turn” you say getting up. You push his chest against the couch making him sit up straight. His eyes followed you like a hawk. You got down on your knees, sitting between his legs on the floor, that’s when he finally realized what you were up to.  Taking his length in your hands you slowly started pumping him, attaching your mouth to his balls, sucking on them slowly.

He threw his head back, obviously enjoying the sensation. He moaned softly when you attached your mouth on his tip, licking and sucking on just the right pace.

“Oh fuck baby, just like that” he moaned gathering your hair together as if he was making a ponytail, slowly making you go deeper on him, following every head bop with his hand pulling on your hair.

You smiled. Fully content with yourself. You’re a big girl, you can handle yourself. You might not be the most experienced lover, but you did know how to make a man want to return to you.

You took all of him, letting his tip hit the back of your throat. You took him like a fucking champion, focusing on trying not to gag while you let him fuck your throat slowly.

His hands let go of your hair and grabbed his own.

“Fuck baby…” is all he could say. Various types of groans and moans were escaping his lips, making sure you knew how much he loved what you were doing.

You knew when the timing was right, so you detached your mouth from his length and climbed on top of him on the couch. You put your knees beside his legs, guiding him to your entrance.

You made eye contact with him. His eyes had a different vibe to them now, it wasn’t just lust anymore was it? Was it…love?

You couldn’t think as you guided himself into you. You could feel the soreness already. Both of you let out a groan as your walls tighten around his length. He filled you up perfectly. This was what you wanted from the start. This incomparable feeling.

His arms enveloped you into a hug as you rest your head into the crook of his neck. You start to slowly move on his cock. The friction was just right. It wasn’t too intense like before; it was just right.

You moan, sucking and biting on the skin of his neck.

As you both got more used to the feeling of each other, your pace started to quicken. You bounced up and down on him a little faster, his arms which where so securely holding you, went down to lightly grab your thighs.

“Oppa you feel so good inside of me” you say in a raspy breathy voice.

All he did was answer you with a groan, throwing his head back. You were getting tired, and he noticed as your pace started to slow down. Just like that he put you down with your back to the couch and started fucking you with your legs up on his shoulders, you could feel him deeper inside of you like this. Your moans started to turn into mewls again and by the increase of Christian’s groans you knew he was close as well.

He fastened his pace, putting your legs down beside his. After a few more deep and hard thrusts he came, and so did you. He rode out his high while the both of you try to catch your breaths.

A wave of exhaustion washed over you as he pulled out. He grabbed a tissue from your coffee table, cleaning you up and his tip as well.

You closed your eyes, not wanting this moment to end, unsure of what he might say next. Or what this meant to your ‘friendship.’

He sighed, putting your panties back onto you, grabbing his t-shirt and helping you put it on. You felt more secure with some clothes on now. You watch him slip into his boxers and sit down next to you.

You pulled your knees up to your chest making eye contact with him as he sat in front of you taking your hand in his, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, lost in thought.

He knew he was the one who was going to have to say something, cause you sure as hell weren’t going to.

“Y/n” he eventually says.

You look up meeting his gaze.

“I’m more of a man than this” he says.

You raise your eyebrows, confused to his words. “What do you mean?” you ask for clarification. This certainly wasn’t what you were expecting him to say. Did he honestly think he did a bad job or something?

“I mean that” he paused biting his lip. “I should not have taken advantage of you like that, knowing we have so much to talk about regarding our obvious feelings for each other, I just didn’t know how.” He confesses.

You’re dumbfounded not knowing what to say. You wanted him just as bad as he wanted you in that way.

“Christian.” You start, but that’s how you end, you don’t even know what you wanted to say next.

“No, It’s okay, I understand if you don’t want to see me again. My judgment was clouded by the lust I have for you. It was wrong and we shouldn’t have but- “

“Whoa there.” You cut him off. “I fucked you back just as much as you fucked me. I never told you to stop or anything because I wanted this too.” You say. He looked down, trying to avoid your eyes.

“Christian I-I think I kind of love you” you say. There. You said it. It’s out there. No taking it back now.

FUCK.

What type of confession is that? You think, you kind of love him?”

His eyes dart to yours in shock. Shit. Did you just scare him off? Did you just fuck everything up then and there on your own?

He opened his mouth to say something but then closes it again. You just keep looking at him, straight into his eyes. You didn’t know where the rush of confidence came from to do so, but you might as well be butt naked right now, you had nothing to lose anymore.

He closed his eyes taking a deep breath. “I think…I kind of love you too Y/n.” he says smiling shyly.

“The only problem is that I never told you because I don’t know how to relationship.” He says shrugging.

You exhale out of relief. “Oh my god these were the most intense thirty minutes of my life.” You say yawning as the exhaustion comes flooding back.

Christian smiles at you pulling you into his arms, caressing your hair while tightly hugging you.

You close your eyes, resting your head on his shoulder. “Let’s talk about how to relationship tomorrow okay?” you say sleepily yawning again keeping your eyes closed.

He smiled picking you up bridal style, carrying to your bedroom, softly placing you on the bed. He turned off the light and went back to the bed to lay back down with you. He rested his head on a pillow. Relieved with how much weight was lifted off of his shoulders right now. You rolled to his side, resting your head on his chest, hugging his torso.

He kissed your forehead, putting your blanket over you so you wouldn’t be cold, just like he did every time he stayed over.

Tonight was different though, because tonight meant that tomorrow your future together would finally start.

_______________________________________________________________________

(A/N) I really hoped y’all liked this, I was contemplating whether to write a smut or not since I barely write anything anymore, but I feel like I see Christian Yu everywhere lately, and with that comes a bunch of lusting ladies. But checking his tag on Tumblr I noticed there weren’t much scenarios or smuts on him. If anyone has any requests I will happily take them! Again excuse my awful writing, it’s three in the morning. 

By the way I really hope this guy doesn’t have a tumblr and searches himself cause this was ungodly.

4

Someone save Solas from Miel.

  • andrew: a man can only have so many issues
  • neil: emphasis on "so many"

“Jack,” Bitty whines, throwing his head back. “I am so tired. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Come on, Bits. You’re almost there,” Jack says encouragingly.

“But I’m so sleepy,” Bitty complains. “My arms are heavy. My fning—ah!” Bitty huffs. “My fingers hurt. Listen, I’m slurrin’ all my words.”

“Look at me.”

Bitty spins the desk chair to look at Jack, and pouts.

“You do look tired.” Jack gazes at him, eyes narrowing.

So tired,” Bitty professes. “I’ll finish up tomorrow.”

Jack sighs. “That essay is due at nine am.”

Bitty bites his lip. He’s well aware of that. “Sleep though, Jack. Sleep.”

“You hate waking up early,” Jack points out with a raised eyebrow.

“Once every now and then is fine.” Bitty tries to say it with conviction.

Jack puts his bookmark in his paperback. “How long until you’re finished?” Jack asks. “Referenced and proof-read finished, not first draft finished,” he adds before Bitty can reply.

Bitty shuts his mouth against his automatic response of twenty minutes.

“Uh… Maybe an hour?”

Jack checks the time on his watch, which he’d placed on the bedside table earlier.

“Alright.” Jack stands up and stretches, then gestures for Bitty to come over to him.

“Thank god,” Bitty mutters under his breath, saving his document and shutting the laptop without powering down.

He drags his body over to Jack’s and falls into him. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend and presses his face into Jack’s chest, breathing deeply. He loves how Jack smells. Like soap, and his deodorant, and a little bit of sweat.

Jack’s hands crawl up Bitty’s back, under his shirt, and he rocks Bitty gently side-to-side. Bitty swears he could fall asleep just like this.

Then Jack’s hands start to wander; down to Bitty’s ass, slipping under the elastic of his track pants. Bitty shivers as Jack’s nails scratch the skin, and when he leans back to ask Jack what he’s doing, Jack kisses him.

Normally, when Jack initiates, it’s soft—he appreciates a slow build up. Tonight is different. Jack pushes against Bitty immediately, leaning into him and over him so that Bitty’s body curves back harshly, and Jack seems even taller than normal.

Jack kisses and kisses, his lips moving and sucking on Bitty’s with fervour. Bitty matches him, suddenly wide-awake, and his hands move to bury themselves in Jack’s hair as he attempts to meld his lips to Bitty’s.

“Oh my god. Jack,” Bitty pants and Jack moves on, kissing harshly down his jawline. Bitty’s lips feel swollen and tender when he bites down on one.

Jack pulls back and smiles down, flushed, eyes alight. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t know,” Bitty confesses breathlessly, still reeling from the enthusiasm and spontaneity.

“Awake?” Jack asks.

Bitty nods frantically. “Oh yeah. Definitely. Yes.”

“Good.” Jack steps back from Bitty, and grabs his shoulders to turn him around. He leans in close, chest pressing against Bitty’s shoulders, and puts his lips against Bitty’s ear. “Now, go finish your essay.”

Jack shoves a speechless Bitty back toward the desk.

Keep reading

Watch Me Babygirl [pt.4]

[pt.1] [pt.2] [previous part] [next part] [pt.6] [pt.7] [pt.8] [pt.9] [pt.10] [pt.11]  [pt.12] [pt.13] [pt.14]

Summary: Jungkook is your brother’s annoying best friend. You can’t stand him but he just can’t resist teasing you. How far will he actually go?

Warnings: slight language


Jungkook was one of the only things on your mind for days. He’d kissed you… and then run off. At the end of the game he’d simply smirked at you, sending a wink your way before slinging an arm around Jimin and laughing as Jimin gloated about their victory.

You sighed, pushing your books into your locker. It was Friday and all you wanted to do was call Taehyung and have him bring snacks over to your house for a movie night.

You pushed your locker closed and jumped back at the figure that had been standing behind the door, blocked from your view.

“What the hell! Jungkook you can’t do shit like that,” you said, placing a hand over your heart as you looked at him.

Keep reading

We had just finished our first quest, where none of us really were experienced DnD player, and I did some feeble attempts at solid DM'ing. The goal of the quest had been to find an antidote for a farmer’s son who had gone into a magical coma.

(ps: due to an inside joke, Winnie the Pooh is in the party like, just there. Christopher Robin is the farmers son who fell ill. The party coloured winnie the pooh neon pink. I don’t know why.)

DM: You reach the farm. You don’t have to roll shit to figure out these peeps are poor. They have a cow and a goat in a small pen that don’t look too hot. Oh, and there’s a donkey tied by the door to their shedlike home.

Elf Ranger: guys i think these peeps are super poor.

Half-Elf Cleric (only good aligned partymember): oh my god really????

DM: just as you say that, the door creaks open, and a thin, a bit aged man peeks out, and when he sees you, his eyes go wide and he steps fully outside, and he says “Are you the ones my daughter sent to- have you found it? Did you find the antidote for my son?”

Half-Elf Cleric: Hello we are here to speak to you about Jesus Christ- I mean, Njord. That’s my deity, right?

Elf Ranger: Yeah, the word of Njord.

Dward Fighter (whose alignment is sorta fuzzy): Yeah we got some antidote dude but uhh time cough up some gold pieces, aight

DM: So- these news fills him with both glee and fear. He sinks down on his feet-

Half-Elf Cleric: What was he on before

DM: -His knees. He sinks down on his knees, and he brings his hands together in your typical prayer like- he’s begging you. “Please, we have… nothing.”

Tiefling Warlock (Chaotic Neutral): sad trombone

DM: “Please, I- I have but one son, he and my daughter are- we won’t be able to do the amount of work- we need him!”

Tiefling Warlock: “Shall we move on, my fellows?”

DM: As you guys speak about this, Winnie the Pooh slides down from /Half-Elf Cleric/’s shoulders, where he’s been perched, and sort of waddles forward, past the begging father, and into the house, to join Christopher Robin.

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWWWWW

Dwarf Fighter: Ey he didn’t swipe the antidote from us, did he?

DM: No- no, you still got that.

Tiefling Warlock: I would’ve Eldritch Blasted his ass if he had.

Half-Elf Cleric: I think we should just give them the antidote.

DM: Like- just to clarify: the antidote is not like- a valuable thing. It’s just this one specific conconction for this particular- you won’t get more cash out of this anywhere else, nobody is gonna run up to you and go “oh, my father is in a magical coma and needs an antidote that-!” like. It’s literally worthless except for these people.

Tiefling Warlock: But we won't have to help someone pro bono.

Half-Elf Cleric: *annoyed sigh* I don’t give a damn about money.

Everyone except her: *horrified gasps*

Dwarf Fighter: … well, you guys do got a nice ass-

Everyone: WHAT

Dwarf Fighter: the donkey. You got a nice donkey.

DM: You… want the donkey.

Half-Elf Cleric: IS IT EEYORE

Everyone: YES we want the donkey.

DM: … The man looks at the donkey and then at you, and he goes “I- If it is a trade between the life of my son and my donkey, it’s- then it’s yours.” And- and Eeyore looks up at you all-

Everyone: YES IT’S EEYORE

DM: -and he goes “I figured I was going to get sold anyway…”

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWW

DM: and the farmer goes “AAA” cus he didn’t know he had a talking donkey

Dwarf Fighter: eyy hasn’t he seen Shrek talking donkeys means cash

DM: yeah well that doesn’t matter now cus he’s giving him to you guys

Dwarf Fighter: right you are

DM: and the man unties Eeyore and he sighs deeply and he goes “this surely won’t make things easier for us… but in exchange for my son… *sigh*”

Tiefling and Dwarf: oh stop moping around jesus hell

Half-Elf Cleric: EYY if I have a ‘set of commoners clothes’ can i give them to them cus they look poor right

DM: I guess

Half-Elf Cleric: EYYYYYYYYYYYY

DM: but then you’d be naked

Half-Elf Cleric: NÄÄÄIJ in that case fuck it you don’t get shit i’m sorry i tried

DM: -and you just start taking of your clothes to give them to the man, but you realise halfway through what you’re doing and you get dressed again

Tiefling: cover yourself, woman

DM: so- let me get this straight. You guys literally have a box on wheels that you pull along with you, and it is filled… with the golden heads of a pair of statues AND YOU WANNA TAKE THIS POOR FAMILYS DONKEY.

Tiefling: survival of the fittest, honey *grabs rope with Eeyore on the other end*

-they go inside and give Christopher Robin the antidote-

Christopher Robin: what the fuck

DM: And the family all rejoice at the awakening of their son, and they turn and thank you, and they’re in the middle of hugging you all when the farmer murmurs “They… they took the donkey.” and the whole family just. Goes quiet-

Dwarf Fighter: fucking tattletale?

DM: - and the mother sort of sinks down on her chair and she whisperes “How will we surviv-”

Tiefling: Oh for fucks- “look, woman, if you don’t shut up I’ll Eldritch Blast your ass-”

Half-Elf Cleric: “HEY WHAT”

DM: The woman gasps loudly and pales-

Dwarf Fighter: “Yo what’s the problem don’t you want a talking donkey”

Half-Elf Cleric: “I meant the whole threatening to KILL HER actually”

Tiefling: “I wasn’t threatening her, I was just stating a fact”

DM: That if she wouldn’t shut up you’d kill her?

Tiefling: It’s a very known fact.

DM: Winnie the Pooh is looking at Christopher Robin with such glee; it’s really indescribable how happy he’s looking, and he’s hopping around happily and he’s climbing up on the bed to give him a big old hug, and Christopher Robin, he goes- “What the- could you guys like take the bear away from me.”

Everyone: “WHAT”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Isn’t he like with you?”

Christopher Robin: “Wh- no? I just went into the woods and he just came up to me, and I found this ruin and he just followed me? And then I got stung by something and that’s all I remember? Could you like take him away he’s a bit creepy. And why is he pink?”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Well uhh he’s yours now. You don’t have a donkey anymore, so-”

DM: And this sorta comes as news to him cus when the father told the fam he had just woken up so he was a bit disoriented so now he goes “Wh-Why is-? What happened to our donkey?” And the father, he goes “Well, son, it was their demand to give you the antidote… and-”

Tiefling: “By the way… can we get this transaction on paper?”

DM: - and the boy turns to you incredulously, and he goes “But-! You can’t! We need that donkey, without it we’ll die!”

Dwarf: “You’re young and strong, boy, time to saddle up.”

Tiefling: “You got a bear now.”

DM: - And Christopher Robin starts to cry too, and he goes “You might’ve saved our lives, but you’ve killed our family-”

Dwarf: “Anywho, gots to go.”

DM: So, you go to leave the shedlike home, and the athmostphere is next to devastated-

Dwarf: “Okay, okay, I ain’t okay with this. We go here and save your life, and you guys are devastated? Really?”

Tiefling: “I agree entirely. Ungrateful runt.”

Cleric: “I-”

DM: “And Chrisopher Robin slams the door in your face.”

Cleric: “No, I was- I was gonna whisper to him “I didn’t want this, I wanted to let you have it for free-”

DM: -Okay, so you whisper that, and he just stares you down, and he shakes his head, and tears are falling down, and he just spits out “You’re just as bad as them for letting it happen anyway,” and he throws the door shut in front of your face after doing that.

Cleric: “GODDAMNIT”

DM: okay so like just to state- like, you guys are super welcome to just. give them something on your own accord, like, out of your own pocket, you picked up som gold in that temple, so if you want to-

Cleric: I WANNA GIVE THEM 100 GP

Tiefling: WHAT “NO, NO, DON’T” ok so I try to pursuade /cleric/ not to do it.

DM: You- you can’t roll to make another player do stuff they don’t wanna do.

Tiefling: Okay, uh “Hey, /cleric/. Don’t do it.” There, you’re pursuaded.

Cleric: … yeah, nah. I give them the gold.

DM: So- you hammer on the door and you shout “I GOT GOLD FOR YOU” or something like that, and Christopher Robin opens the door, and once he sees the gold you’re extending, he- he is so happy. He takes the gold and he goes to hug you, and the entire family comes out and does the same, they can buy like 3 donkeys now i dunno how GP works in dnd yet uhhh so-

Tiefling: Fuck this, I eldritch blast Christopher Robin.

Cleric: NO YOU DON’T i stand in the way.

DM: -Fine? Uh, roll an attack roll.

Tiefling: Twelve.

DM: You miss. You hit the ground.

Tiefling: … don’t I hit the house at least?

DM: NO YOU- WHY DO YOU WANT TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

 Cleric: WHY WOULD YOU STILL ROLL WHEN I WAS STANING IN THE WAY- YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

Ranger: All of this for a donkey

DM: Nah, dude, you got the donkey. This is because /Cleric/ gave them 100 GP

Ranger: Oh okay

Dwarf: Yeah, but they’re super ungrateful. Bastards.

Cleric: Yeah but we can’t KILL THEM for that??

DM: so the family, they- after the attempted murder, they run back into the house. 

Dwarf: Did they take the gold?

DM: Yeah.

Dwarf: Rat bastards.

DM: Does /Tiefling/ want to keep his spree of ‘teaching people some manners’ going or?

Tiefling: Nahhh. But he does cast sleep on /Cleric/ cus he’s pissed.

Cleric: haHA i’m a half elf and I can’t be magically put to sleep!

Tiefling: Nvm then I’m tired.

DM: So- you guys walk away from the house, and just for a moment you hear the door opening and then quickly closing-

Ranger: No

DM: -and you turn, and- Winnie the Pooh has been tossed out of the house.

Dwarf: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT when Njord taketh a donkey he giveth thee an illuminescent bear, and they just TOSS HIM OUT

DM: - and Winne the Pooh sits on the ground very- very sadly. Had he had tear ducts, he would cry a single tear. He is on the ground-

Ranger: Still pink?

DM: Still pink.

Cleric: :’(

Ranger: ugh FINE let’s take him with us.

DM: You go and pick him up, and he is so happy. So, so happy.

Dwarf: what are we, collecting Winnie the Pooh characters?

DM: He’s on /clerics/ shoulder again-

Tiefling: Can’t we put him on Eeyores back?

Dwarf: Can’t we put EEYORE on WINNIE THE POOH’s back?

DM: You put Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh back, and you now have a donkey on top of a bear on the ground. They are not moving.

Cleric: Oh dear.

DM: And Eeyore sighs and goes “I knew I’d be too heavy”

Everyone: “AWWWWWW”

5

So I got to a certain chapter in Blue Sky….

  • Alec: *in his office* Siri, how do I lead an institute
6

[Scanlation] The Same Time As Always, The Same Place As Always Vol.1 EXTRAS by: Hashimoto Aoi

Ch.1  |  Ch.2  |  Ch.3  |  Ch.4  |  Ch.5  |  Ch.6  |  Ch.6.5  |  Ch.7  |

(。「´-ω・)ン  It’s been a while for this series, but it’s a’coming! Here’s just a compilation of all the extras that were released with the Volume. Extras include the volume bonus, comicomi studio, toranoana, horin love books, and animate. ヾ(´▽`;)ゝ From this point, we’re just gonna wait until Ch.7 comes out.

All these extras are amazing and hilarious and just sdhfkjdgf. Adorable.

(☞゚∀゚)☞ All the extras are about 15 pages or so. It doesn’t fit in a tumblr post. Gotta link you else where. YOU CAN READ IT IN FULL HERE. OR, if you can’t access imgur: ALT LINK.

I did the cleaning, but thanks to Deea and Tsuki-chan for proofreading.

I hope you enjoy!

you know youre whipped af when you smile back at her