Take some Pharoga Phluff

Here is a little extract from the role-playing game I do with @mazandaroga … for all those who are in need for some Pharoga phluff.


Erik smiled, insecure now, nervous. The music box still played. “I …” , he hesitated and had to swallow, before he found the courage to continue his sentence, “In my whole life, I never danced with anybody.”

Nadir raised his eyebrows - he had expected that there was something wrong, that an event from the past had troubled Erik - but now he smiled relieved, his eyes warm. He stood up. “Do you know how to dance?” , he asked.

Erik could only lift his shoulders once. “I … I don’t know. I have seen people dancing … but that’s it.” He still felt nervous, a bit ashamed, also for some reason waiting for Nadir’s refusal for something he hadn’t even literally dared to ask for.

Nadir walked to Erik, suddenly nervous, too, but he reached out his hand to his lover, his smile remaining on his face. “Do you … would you like to dance with me?” , he asked.

Erik smiled shyly now like a school boy. “Would you let me?”

“Of course I would let you.” Nadir laughed softly and daring he grabbed Erik’s hand gently, pulling him close. “Not saying I am the best dancer.”

Erik carefully put the music box on the window bench. “You’ll be the best I ever had anyway.” He actually felt heat inside his cheeks and couldn’t believe his silly behaviour. He let Nadir pulling him close.

Nadir smiled blushing at Erik and he took one hand in one of his own, lifting it up on shoulder height. His other hand rested on Erik’s side. “I think this is the right way.” He laughed softly, suddenly nervous.

“I am all yours.” , Erik repeated and remembered the first time he had said it to Nadir. He remembered everything, all that had followed. Nothing had changed since then, he trusted him in every way. Trusted him that he could lead and guide him through any first time he hadn’t been allowed to experience so far.

Nadir locked eyes with Erik, knowing these words all too well, and his blush got more crimson. “Just follow me, and don’t step on my toes.” He chuckled, swallowing his nervousness away. He took his first steps, making sure he did it right. Luckily, Erik followed him quite easily and smooth like he always was. Nadir’s smile got wider, the music played in the background.

After a while, when the moves got smoother, Erik rested his head on Nadir’s shoulder, while they kept turning around themselves. “I know now why they say ‘dancing is a kind of making love’.” His voice was full of adoration and bliss.

Nadir smiled at these words and he pulled Erik closer. He swung his hips softly with the music, not close to the window, so no one would spot them. “So you like dancing then, hmm?” , he hummed.

„I do.“ , Erik assured, „I like to do it with you.“ Nadir’s lips closed his mouth. The moment was so perfect, filled with love for each other. Erik smiled into the kiss. “Thank you for loving me.”

Nadir stroked Erik’s cheek adoring. “I’ll always love you, Erik.” , he whispered.

Fourth house-Tenth house Axis: The Family Portrait

We have Capricorn’s tenth house representing the ‘dominant parent’, and  Cancer’s fourth house relating to the ‘sub dominant’ parent. Cancer’s ruler, the Moon facilitates the preparation for pregnancy in the 28 day cycles, the waxing and waning symbolizing the swelling of the belly in pregnancy, and the supernal maternal instinct. Capricorn sends us out into the world with our skills and talents at best, while Cancer welcomes us home with gentle arms. The dominant parent provides the structural support, and the subdominant parent expresses emotional support. The tenth house and the fourth house can indicate conditions around the parents and the upbringing. These will be the perception of the child, rather than what may be observable by others.

Aries in the 4th house/Libra 10th house - Experiences with the mother may have been fun and exciting but also challenging and full of conflict. She could have been the commanding force in the home. There is loyalty but tension. Maybe there is a lot of doting on the father. It may have been him that taught love

Taurus 4th house/Scorpio 10th house - Dominant parent is quite powerful, commanding, and socially present. But there may also be an absence, a sense of neglect, physical or otherwise. The mother may be known for her beauty and sense of style. Maybe she was gentle but martyred

Gemini 4th house/Sagittarius 10th house - Educative and open household. Subdominant parent may have been impractical, disorganized but clever. Father can be moral and worldly, but there can be a pang of distance, emotional or otherwise, from each. The individual lives in their own world

Cancer 4th house/Capricorn 10th house - The individual is highly sensitive to the emotions of the mother. There may have been a lot of early movement. The father could be the disciplinarian while the mother is the emotional recluse, a cradle of safety. The father was a hard and sacrificial worker. A lot of love

Leo 4th house/Aquarius 10th house - The father may have only been present erratically. Maybe he is unusual, talented, but impractical. The dominant parent taught the need for independence. The mother was likely highly present and influential. The individual was the light and star of her life.

Virgo 4th house/Pisces 10th house - The dominant parent may be very creative, unusual, and spiritual, but also or rather mentally ill, substance abusing, and emotionally and physically weak. The subdominant parent could have encouraged the individual to read and become educated. The household is communicative. Mother may have trouble with nerves

Libra 4th house/Aries 10th house - The dominant parent is inspiring but also dominant and possibly interfering. Independence will be instilled in the child. The relationship with the mother may have been sweet and friendly, while the relationship with the father could be full of challenge and conflict

Scorpio 4th house/Taurus 10th house - One of the parents may have been threatening or pedantic with the child. There could be fears of abandonment. Powerful and inexplicable bond with the mother. The dominant parent can be creative, solid, and reliable. Maybe the public has a rosy perception of the home that is untrue

Sagittarius 4th house/Gemini 10th house - One or both of the parents identifies strongly with beliefs. Education is encouraged. The household can be conservative or seem trapped. Dominant parent is vocal and highly influences the way the individual thinks. They could think identically. 

Capricorn 4th house/Cancer 10th house - The mother can be the provider. Home ownership will be important. Father may have been the emotional nourishment. Mother influences professional decisions. Strict and regulated childhood. May have felt unwanted

Aquarius 4th house/Leo 10th house - The dominant parent may project unlived desires through the child. Both parents tend to be very proud of the individual, but fail to express this to to the child itself. Subdominant parent may have been frequently absent. The father strongly present and there could be high expectation. A lot of movement. Freedom of expression was likely encouraged. Searches for father figure if denied one

Pisces 4th house/Virgo 10th house - The subdominant parent may be a creative visionary, compassionate, mystical, and powerful, but may have also been dependent, unrealistic, suffer mental illness or addiction. Dominant parent may have been humble but concerned with routine and wrapped up in anxieties. The relationship with the mother is ill defined

These can be varied depending on the presence of planets in the fourth or tenth houses, the aspects made to these planets, and the planets by degree also ruling the cusp.

-Cherry

I think I am Erik.

Reasons:

-what??? is sleep???

-I too like to play instruments aggressively in the middle of the night

-crying

-I over-feel about EVERYTHING

-on a loneliness scale of 1-10 I’m probably a 574348573489

-A N G E R

-I have like one friend

-are they even my friend I D ONT KNOW

-I AM VERY DRAMATIC

-I’m kinda good at a lot of things and I think I’m at least slightly more intelligent that the average person

-narcissistic but also low self-esteem

-I’m kinda ugly lol