Like the boring person I am...

…I am not outside watching the fireworks but inside with my slightly less boring friend, Bellicoseghost, and we are going to watch Season 1 Episode 6 of Xena: Warrior Princess. So enjoy this 4th of July live blog watch of Xena!

So…Xena and Gabrielle are walking in the woods. Nothing wrong can happen here now can it   *skepticism*  Ah…there’s the trouble…hooded man!

*and Bellicoseghost brings out his computer as mine seems to be breaking*   

: {

*Also…the fireworks sound like there is a flood coming from the sky*

And there goes Xena…bwahahahaha that slo-mo jump! Da frick he go???

How the frick can the hooded guy disappear like that?

Ah, how convenient, Xena takes the blame for the poor man’s death per usual

“The power…the passion….the danger….her courage will change the world”

 Bellicoseghost: “It’s so bad it’s good”

Me: *internally smugly smiles*Ahaha that amazonian trilling lol!

And of course Gabrielle would be washing.

How come I feel like this Peranus is related to the ambush…oooooohhhhh the clocked man can be invisible AND walked though.*Ominous dark night* vs. *Bright sunny morning*

It’s a trap Xena. It’s a trap. And you Gabrielle are un-perceiving.

Bellicoseghost: “Wait…is that dress longer than the tattered skirt?”

Cloaked man is kinda creepy…..ah….Ares, god of war. That’s cool. But he’s still creepy…..I don’t like him much. Xena…please kill the god of war. Please.Is Ares trying to seduce Xena???? Yep. He is. Creeper creeper creeper. I hate him. Kill him. kill him. I don’t like him. ewwwwwwwwww. He’s worse than the other dude. I hate him. 

Ares: “a world of peace” more like a world in pieces.

Awww the old man is cool! I like him. *whispers* please don’t die old man.

Aw YA! Xena shuns Ares the creep.

Gabrielle is a good friend. kinda naive and bubbly…but a good friend.

Oh Ares you bastard. Erased the footprints

Bellicoseghost: “Ass-nugget”

This is why I love Gabrielle. She has a way to ask questions to get the truth out of people by taking their words and twisting them so they can see how they are in the wrong. I love her. What? Gabrielle has no opportunity to ask the injured man questions? How is that fair.

Bellicoseghost: “Apparently clothing is….”

Me: “Dangerous?

”Bellicoseghost: “Apparently.”

And the creeper Ares is back. Please die please die please die please die I don’t like you at all…..yep die.

Dang. Barbarian rage time for Xena.  DAMN. She hit Gabrielle. Aw shit shit shit. Poor Gabrielle. Awwwwwwww she’s such a good friend! She came back. I love her so much!

Ares: *darkly chuckles* “Marvelously manipulated my dear”

Blah blah blah Xena is proven innocent.

I feel like Ares needs to be more BA and less sleaze ball.

Bellicoseghost: “Fight fight fight….kiss kiss kiss”  *towards Xena and Gabrielle*

And that’s the end of that episode! And I think Bellicoseghost had some fun….possibly  

Femslash Gothic
- You hear rumors of a canon queer female in that new show. You end up watching five seasons just to find the character in a single episode, never to be seen again.

- There’s a blonde and a brunette, you ship them.  You can’t remember a time when you didn’t ship them.

- The internet screams about a particular pairing, you’ve never heard of this pairing before.  The next day it’s all you know.

- “Have you watched Xena?” they all say, over and over. You have, of course you have.  Haven’t you?

- Two women on screen speak to each other, their chemistry is obvious.  Or are you just hungry? So very hungry.

- “Vote in this poll to show them what we want!”  Who are ‘them’?  Why aren’t we asking what they want?

- You sit down to watch a new show, swearing you’re just going to relax and enjoy it.  Two episodes in and you find yourself screaming for them to kiss.  You scream endlessly with no result.

- “Have you heard of-?” Yes.  You’ve heard of everything. All of them whisper to you, crying out for validation.


Xena’s not even trying to be subtle. Nobody in that room missed this little exchange, but not one of them was surprised.