Dear “Devil’s Advocate”:
I’m “Evangeline”. Yes, I read his letters. Yes, I understand where you are coming from. I do see how from the surface, Isaac can come off as incredibly… dependent? On me, or toxic, or manipulative.
1.) Yes, it is also true: I am still with Greg. In a way, I caused an even further spiral downwards.
HOWEVER, you are in no place to call him manipulative. You do not know Isaac. I am not the reason he started drinking. I am not the reason he cannot quit. You do not know his life, and what he has been through, and what he has overcome, and what he is going through at this very moment.
2.) Yes, I read his letters. Yes, I see that they have an air of vengeance within them (example: when he said “I hope you see this”).
HOWEVER, you do not know Isaac. I am trying to help him without hurting him more than I have. He is not entitled. He is not coercive. He is a guy who has a great character but who is in a dark place right now.
3.) I know Isaac; you don’t. I know that the majority of the letters he has been sending, he has been incredibly drunk or under the influence in some way. I know that as he scrolls through the page, and finds a letter, he reads it, not remembering what he even said. Actually, for that very letter in which he said that I hoped I saw it, he read it when it was posted and texted me apologizing about it.
4.) In no way, shape or form, is he trying to coerce me back to him. Like I said, you do not know him. I do. He is the one that told me to stay with Greg because he realized that Greg is better for me than he was. His love for me allowed him to go through pain so I could be happier. This is someone who is in a constant haze and does not think clearly when he writes. I’m sure everyone can notice a difference between when he has control over his words vs. when he’s drunk. Yes, I know that I technically “lied” to him about him being the one. But I honestly didn’t. Isaac could be my one. But right now, he knows how much pain he is in and he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore.
I realize that he needs help. He knows it too. He is an alcoholic and he has admitted it. That’s the first step to him getting help: he realized that he had a problem. This is the beginning to a very long road to recovery, and I will be there for him, whether it is walking behind him to catch him when he falls, or helping pave the way to his recovery, or to disappear completely if he wished.
So, to respond to your section about me: I will not cut ties with him. I will not stop talking to him. I refuse to leave him when he needs me the most, when he has always been there for me no matter what.
I am not going to lie to him and tell him we have a chance again, because I don’t know if we will. But I’m one of the only people in his life right now.
Without me helping him, he’d be dead.
So please, stop assuming that you know Isaac. Mind you, he’s only written to me about our relationship. You don’t know any other aspect of his life.
And let this be known: I read his letters. I know firsthand how bad he has become because I’ve seen it with my own eyes. He was my guardian angel when I needed it. Now; I’m his.
By the way, when you you typed “tough love” you misspelled “radical assumptions” wrong.
And to Dead Girl Walking, who posted something similar to this letter: thank you for understanding.
Evangeline, Isaac’s newly appointed Guardian Angel.