My favorite place to be is literally, figuratively at the bottom of a swimming pool. One time when I was tripping LSD, oh yeah that’s illegal
So hypothetically if I were to do some hallucinogenics I’d jump into some kind of blueish, greenish maybe kind of purpleish water and let myself float down like a feather, sway side to side and watch the water above me ripple in reverse like upside down and slow motion like maybe I flipped over the world. And then hypothetically when my back touches the filthy, grimey, slime of the bottom and my brain starts to choke I’ll think about how I should come up for air, but I’ll feel too much like a wet piece of paper. Far too soggy to let anyone fill me up and write me back to life. Touch me and I’ll tear. I am somewhere almost dead, but not quite and I like that. I am weightless and weighed down and it kind of feels like either I don’t exist or this is the only place where I can fill enough empty space to satisfy how much I want to exist.