mystrade if you will

that feeling when you’ve been reading all those gentle soft happy fanfics where everyone is gay and in love and it’s not a big deal and their friends all support them.

and your favourite superhero couples and detectives and kings and warlocks are just domestic and happy.

and then you emerge into the real world and it’s just not like that.

you walk into your job in the morning and know that if anyone knew, you’d be out the door. kids use the word ‘gay’ as a slur and it might be silly but it makes something hurt inside your chest. you look at your mother and think of the words she’d use to cut you with if you told her. the disgust on her face. you have your family around you and you know it could all be shattered in a minute and it would be you who’d done it.

everyone assumes your straightness. people look at you strangely when you use ‘they/them’ pronouns when asking what their fiancé’s name is, bcs you don’t want to make the same mistake that others make with you. you file forms with spaces for the mother’s name and father’s name and wonder how you’d fill them out if you had a partner and a child. you work with children and wonder what they have to hide about themselves.

and then, sometimes, you go home and read some more fanfic. maybe you write some, or draw fanart if that’s your thing. that’s the best thing, that we’re dreaming about a better world. maybe we’re not famous or published or earning money for what we do. but writing and reading fanworks like this helps a heck of a lot of people, including me, feel happy and comforted and like it’s possible that they might belong one day. that it gets better.

thank you, everyone who creates fanworks where being gay is simply treated as normal. your work is healing and wholesome and full of heart and goodness. and much as i may love the canon, it’s not the canon - it’s the fanworks that are a safe haven to retreat to and recover and heal.

sherlock characters as hot drinks

sherlock - black tea w/ lemon n honey

  • balanced and complex
  • is actually very comforting
  • many flavour components amalgamating nicely as a whole

john - builders tea

  • warm and honest; a filler-upper
  • universally liked
  • is always sort of there but people really feel its absence when it isn’t

mycroft - earl grey

  • light, delicate
  • floral (lol)
  • unique and doesn’t need messing around with (no sugar, i’m sweet enough)

molly - chai latte

  • SO sweet
  • like a big cosy woolly jumper
  • disregarded in its field as a person drink

greg - hot chocolate

  • add a dash of rum or baileys go on
  • rich, yet soothing
  • what people want when they’re tired of nonsense

jim - barraquito coffee

  • extremely particular - don’t get it right and you’ll be skinned
  • cloyingly sweet yet bitter af
  • sexily elaborate

irene - espresso

  • dark and indulgent
  • adds a certain kick of vivacity to one’s imagination
  • knock it back in one if you dare
The One With The Interruption
  • *221B*
  • John: *knocks on Sherlock's bedroom door*
  • Sherlock: *in a sexy voice* Come iiiiin. I've been waiting for youuuuu.
  • John: *enters* Hey, I was just wondering- *shouting* for God's sake! *backs runs out in horror* what the hell are you doing?
  • Sherlock: *following, pulling on a dressing gown; annoyed* What does it look like? I was- I was taking a nap.
  • John: *averting his eyes* Since when do you take naps in that position? *groans* tPlease tell me you weren't waiting for me...
  • Sherlock: *frowns* Don't flatter yourself. I'm seeing someone from work *thinking* I'm seeing a woman from work!
  • John: *impressed* That really fit Hopkins woman?
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Sherlock: Sure.
  • John: *quickly* Well, in that case, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'll just get a jacket and when I get back, I don't want to know anything.
  • -knocking-
  • John: *grimaces* Maybe that's her... *approaches the door*
  • Sherlock: *panicking* Okay, umm...
  • John: *opens the door*
  • Sherlock: *relaxes* It's just Grant and Mycroft...
  • John: *frowns* I thought you two were at dinner?
  • Greg: Well, we were! But Mycroft was talking so loudly on his phone they told us to leave.
  • Mycroft: *texting* I had to talk loud because that awful music was loud!
  • Greg: *frowns* It was important.
  • Mycroft: *sighs* They'll be other meals, Gregory.
  • Greg: *narrows his eyes* You'll be lucky.
  • Molly: *entering, happily; flipping a bottle of champagne, giggling to herself*
  • Molly: *sees everyone; suddenly shy* Oh...um... *grins widely; falsely excited* I'm so glad you're all here! My lab finally got new scalpels!

Moriarty: Kill you? No don’t be obvious. I mean I’m going to kill you anyway, some day. I don’t want to rush it  though. I’m saving it up for something special. No no no no no. If you don’t stop prying-

Me: I WILL BURN YOU I WILL BURN THE HEART OUT OF YOU

Love Conquers All (On Sherlock Season 4)

I’m currently re-watching Season 4, simply just to indulge myself, and mainly because I personally loved it. I thought I was done expressing everything I have to say about the matter in this post, but there has been an unending sh*t-storm still looming over S4 that has gone beyond what I had expected. Not to mention that things I’ve seen on Twitter earlier regarding the so-called Norbury movement.

I am not dismissing the fact that this season had its flaws, but there’s a significant meaning to it all that some people are dismissing because they’ve been blinded by their own illusions that I would want to highlight. For someone who had cried over and mulled over these episodes more than the past 3 seasons, this season gave my love for existentialism a baseline that tugged at the heart – the very reason why I wanted to talk about it.

Originally posted by esterlocked

Just a brief explanation, existentialism is the belief that life has no meaning in general. To quote Moriarty, “Staying alive… So boring, isn’t it? It’s just… staying.” However, what I like about it is the idea that society or any other factor is not responsible for giving life it’s meaning – it is solely up to the individual to discover it on their own.

With that said, I think this is why this season resonated with me so much, and I find the chaos in some parts of the fandom frustrating, especially to the point that the writers are being attacked for this. So as usual, I have to say something about it. Because instead of writing articles for work, I’m thinking about Sherlock.

Anyway, I’m just gonna go ahead with my point.


The Six Thatchers : Horrors Of The Past

This may be my least favourite among the three, but the message of this episode is clearly simple: we all have horrors that will come and haunt us in the future – and how we face it all comes down to the path we choose. 

We live hundreds, and even thousands of roles throughout our lives. And we all have our past; things that we regret, hate, cringe at, miss, still believe in, etc. But whatever that past might be, what I got from TST is that you can never run from your past as it catches up to you, but it is one facet of your life does not completely define you.

Originally posted by akajustmerry

Death has been played with through the past seasons that it seemed all too mundane to us now, in terms of the context of the show. But S4 is here to correct this notion in Mary’s persona. With Mary saying that Mary Watson was the only life worth living, it showed that we get to choose which part of our lives we live out the most.

Same with John and his ‘cheating’. To be fair, I’m pissed at the fact that this was completely out of character. But when the series culminated, I understood why they have to do it. We saw what we wanted to see in these characters as they were presented to us – John was supposedly honourable, kind, and courageous, but what is this? Who is this new John? 

This is where I head to my next point. 


The Lying Detective : Being Alive And Human

This episode made me cry buckets, to be honest. And it is because this is all about changing what you know about these characters and seeing them all in a different light. 

Here we see a Sherlock not led by the mind but the heart, a John who was weak against temptation, a cheater, someone who looked jealous from having the spotlight all on the detective – it showed that no one is ultimately good and that someone’s facade is not who they entirely are. It shows that everyone has their ups and downs because that’s what humanity is about. It illustrated that everyone was capable of being angry, desperate, conceited, weak, lonely, alone, etc. It highlighted how these characters are broken – especially Sherlock – and how redemption can mean so much more to a person. 

We all have our flaws, our downfalls, our agonies; but who are we really, at our most vulnerable? And who are the people willing to believe in us even if we’ve shown them our true, and sometimes, faded colours?

Originally posted by halloawhatisthis

“Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everyone else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it.”

This is a plea. That shutting down and ending your life is and should never be the answer. This is one of the most beautiful pieces of dialogue I have ever heard, and it’s a very upfront message about warranting a value on your own life. And for people to threaten the writers of the show that they are the ones who caused the lives that are put in the line or the self-harm that will happen due to their distaste for TFP is devastating to me.

And yes, there have been people tweeting Mark and BBC that they are and will be responsible for these lives, which is just unfair.


The Final Problem : On Love And Redemption

I’ve seen people questioning why Benedict said ‘love conquers all’ in one interview before the season aired. There has also been statements that this season will be ‘groundbreaking’, which others failed to see why, leading to the claims that the showrunners are queerbaiting.

Now, every single show, every single actor, not just in Sherlock, but basically everywhere, is being put in the microscope because they need to identify with something, and that they need to represent a cause — which I get! I advocate for this! But, just when the world is being careful about mixing up their characters or when they are inserting a gay character just because now, society is demanding them to, Sherlock had already presented that years before (note that some TV shows only became more open to having gay characters around late 2014, early 2015-ish onwards because people are becoming more vocal about it as inspired by those bold enough to make a first move, e.g. Glee). 

Here, we have an openly gay character (which is still another topic of debate but I stand by it when I say Irene used the term gay loosely), had openly gay actors play brilliant and unstereotypical roles, and for God’s sake, Mark Gatiss is a gay man who is behind this brilliant show, and  that’s the very reason they passed it off as normal. They didn’t do it in a way that we always have to be reminded that the character is gay, that there has to be a sex scene just to prove that they’re gay… it’s just there – again, as one facet of the characters. Sex, as something that has been explicitly expressed in the show, isn’t the only thing that defines a character or their relationships with someone else, and I appreciated that. They had a story to tell – the story of these characters as a whole and not just one side of them. 

And personally, I did see why they made their claims as indicated by my chosen title. When this season ended, Sherlock who claimed to have never been attuned to his emotions, had his eyes open and had embraced that he was also human, flawed, and is capable to love IN ALL FORMS. 

Originally posted by fangirlhani

He learned to value his life because of what happened to Mary, he had admitted that he also succumbs to his impulses with Irene Adler (texting or beyond that, depends on what you want to believe), he fully realised that he would never ever want to hurt and make Molly feel like she’s being used by him because she’s his friend, he was able to extend a more human side of himself to John more than he did before, he finally understood and accepted Mycroft’s intentions and actions which I think mended their relationship significantly (this one hits me to the core so much), and lastly, he discovered that if he was left in the air in isolation, he might have ended up like Eurus, which is why he never wanted to make her feel alone again. 

To me, it is groundbreaking because it left that cliche of someone running off into the sunset in the end and it’s all butterflies and rainbows. They wrapped it up with the characters still broken, but living through it day by day because someone chose to love, accept, and help them heal despite their flaws. 

It is what it is, they keep on saying, because that’s how life is. It can be unbearable and it can most certainly be shit, but in the end, whether you ship Johnlock, Adlock, Sherlolly, Sheriarty, Mollstrade, Mystrade, etc., if we all let love – self-love, romantic love, familial love, platonic love – all kinds of love in our lives, it will help us conquer all, within and beyond this show. 

cryingbclarryy  asked:

hiya, was just wondering which are your favourite johnlock fics? X

Hi, and I am SO SORRY to have been so slow to answer this. After S4 I’ve been struggling with reading/writing fics so was rubbish about answering.

Here is the (ridiculously long) list of my absolute favourites, which I’m sure you will have mostly read anyway!

The Gladstone series by @jamlockk. This entire series makes me laugh and also sob until my face feels like it’s made of salt. Gorgeous.

Hot Dolphin Sex by @conversationswithjohnlock. I accidentally stayed in the bath for three hours while I read this the first time, and my husband assures me I did actually sound like a dolphin.

In the Library by @itsnotgonnareaditselfpeople. BEAUTIFUL. Just beautiful, gorgeous writing. Teenlock, with flashbacks to kidlock.

A Brand of Gold by @aquabelacqua. I DIE reading this fic. If you want a fic that will make your toes CURL with the feeling of falling irrevocably, devastatingly in love, this is the one. I honestly felt hot from head to toe reading this fic. I had butterflies. I cried, because the sheer emotion – terror, love, that edgy sense of desperation behind every beautifully-chosen word – that the author packs into this story is insane. Gorgeous. Also cannot recommend enough the BEAUTIFUL podfic by @lockedinjohnlock-podfics.

Chemical Bonds by @weeesi. Funny, incredibly touching, splendidly written, perfectly in character. One I read again and again.

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas by @earlgreytea68. The fluff to end all fluff. I don’t know how many times I’ve read this now. Not just for Christmas!

The Adventure of the Doctor’s Heart by @mistyzeo. Mistyzeo’s writing is an absolute masterclass and this story is my ultimate favourite.

FAQ by ancientreader. God, this story hurts, but in the most perfect way. Parentlock. What I wish S4 could have been.

A Visit to the Doctor by flawedamethyst. I’ve read this an insane number of times. It’s perfect every time. Time travel – ACD and BBC Sherlock Holmes collide. Painful and fluffy and lovely.

Sonatina in G Minor by @silentauroriamthereal. I cried in a public cafe. Yep. The emotional tension in this story bubbles beneath the surface, desperate to break through. EVERYTHING Silent writes is beautiful but this is my absolute favourite.

Upon Whom Shall You Call? by @may-shepard aldjhfaskdjhfkjdlkjasdsdfjasdfksdafsd GHOSTBUSTERS AU GHOSTBUSTERS AU I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT HOW FUCKING AMAZING THIS STORY IS

If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things by @watsonshoneybee. I can’t tell you how special this story is to me. Heed the tags before you go in.

And two Mystrade because, um, I know you didn’t ask but it would be wrong of me to post a list of my favourites without them!

The Memoranda of Understanding series by @mydwynter – when I retire I’m going to read this series of stories over and over every day until I die. When they find me dead they’ll have to pry the long-outdated eReader out of my cold, claw-like hands. Just…marvellous.

Virtually Perfect by @random-nexus – actually perfect. Online chatroom AU. The nerves and self-esteem issues when they finally meet are beautifully written. Amazing.

Hope you like the list @cryingbclarryy 😘

Making your acquaintance (fem!mystrade <3)

Mycroft blinks in surprise at her sister’s text:

You’re too early. Drive around in a circle a few more times. -S

Oh, she will do no such thing. Mycroft raps on the glass divider. 

“Stop the car.”

She has hardly opened the door when the realisation hits her, just why Sherlock was trying to avoid her again. Yellow tape. Police. Cars. And Sherlock, standing in the middle of it all, in typical rant mode, hands flying every which way. 

Mycroft rolls her eyes. “Oh, Jesus Christ.” She storms forward. “Arrested, sister mine?” 

Her voice is deliberately loud, and Sherlock cringes as she spots her. 

“I told you to wait,” she replies.

“You are being ridiculous. Utterly-” Mycroft takes a deep breath. “Come on. We’re going.”

But, before she’s even considered how to persuade Sherlock to actually get into the car, an even louder voice bellows across to them.

“Oi! Just who the hell do you think you are?”

Mycroft does a double take as another young woman joins them, striding across with confidence, white shirt sleeves rolled up in a way that could only suggest outrage.

“Well?” the woman says, hands on hips now. 

Sherlock snorts.

Mycroft clears her throat and vaguely wonders why she fears becoming tongue-tied. “I am Sherlock’s sister.”

It’s the woman’s turn for a double take, now. She gapes at Sherlock. “You never told me you have a sister!”

Sherlock shrugs. “Evidently. Must have slipped my mind.”

And the woman is glancing between them, back and forth, with the beginnings of a smirk. “Actually, I can see the resembl-”

“Oh God, please don’t-”

“Excuse me,” Mycroft cuts across them. “If I could just clarify exactly what damage my sister has wrought and I’ll be able to pay a sum of-”

“Eh?” The woman is staring at her, and Mycroft feels odd- as if she’s in some sort of spotlight. “God, don’t you know? Your sister’s a genius. She’s working on a case for me. Got the lads bloody clueless, let me tell you, don’t know what we’d do without her.”

Mycroft blinks in confusion again. Of course, Sherlock’s genius is not a surprise, but the fact that she is actually… well. She’s doing very well indeed.

Mycroft clears her throat. “Men are idiots, anyway.”

The woman laughs. Mycroft likes the sound- un-apologetically raucous. “Too right. And a nightmare at work. At everything, really.”

Mycroft smiles. “Always.”

“Oh, what line are you in?”

She considers, and studiously ignores Sherlock’s grin. “Politics,” she replies, which is true as it stands.

The woman grins. “Ooh, hark at you. Right, dear,” she nods at Sherlock. “Are you free to go over that with me one more time?”

Sherlock actually hesitates, and Mycroft internally winces. She decides to say nothing, and she heartens at her sister’s confident reply when she realises Mycroft will not interrupt her: 

“Yes.”

Mycroft has already began to step back when the woman looks earnestly at her, and she freezes.

“We’ll only be another ten minutes, that alright with you?”

Once more, Mycroft blinks. “…I suppose I can go on a short drive.”

“Cracking.” The woman sticks out her hand. “Georgia Lestrade. But, don’t call me that. George works.”

Mycroft shakes her hand. “Mycroft Holmes.”

“You never told me your name,” Sherlock says indignantly.

George (George, Mycroft’s mind echoes) tuts. “You cheeky beggar, you’ve stolen my ID, how can you not know…”

Ten minutes later, Mycroft promptly returns. She opens the car door and slides out to give Sherlock room, only to nearly trip on the kerb at the sight of George Lestrade standing there.

Sherlock shuts the car door. They both ignore this.

George runs a hand through her hair. “Listen, Mycroft, can I ask you…”

Her heart is categorically not in her throat. “Yes?”

George grins. “Why are you carrying around an umbrella like that in summer?”

Mycroft blushes. To tell the truth, she almost forgets that it’s hooked over her forearm. “It goes with the image,” she lies.

“So I see.” George winks at her. “Maybe.. explain more at a… well, don’t know if you do pubs.”

“Fish and chips,” Mycroft says quickly, and feels her face growing even hotter.

“Uh- alright, then. Fish and chips. Sounds perfect.”

There’s a laugh in that, but it’s not mockery, which Mycroft appreciates. It could even pass as… fond.

She shakes George Lestrade’s hand one last time, and braces herself for a teasing car journey with Sherlock.

(tags with folk interested under the cut! This is my first try at fem mystrade, but I’d love to do more <3)

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