rfa+ Saeran going to pride for the first time with with MC?
A/N: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH MY GUYS! THOUGH IT’S ALMOST OVER? (For where I
live anyway, pride month is June! I heard some places celebrate in May??) I STILL WANTED TO TRY AND GET THIS OUT
BEFORE THE END OF THE MONTH AAA ~Admin 404
-You didn’t even tell him what
this parade was for
-All you said was “Do you
want to go to a parade with me”
-You decided to just wait until
you brought him to tell him what the parade was actually for
-Though when the two of you got
there, and he noticed literally everything was rainbow, he kind of pieced two
and two together…
-HE WAS BLUSHING LIKE CRAZY!
-Was actually really honoured
that you wanted to go to something like this with him?? Like you’re loud and
proud about your relationship and that makes him giggle
-Seeing all of the insane
outfits was definitely fun for him!
-HE SAW SO MANY NAKED (OR AT
LEAST ALMOST NAKED) PEOPLE AND HE FELT SO AWKWARD
-“MC… we… we don’t have
to be naked or anything for this.. right?” No baby it’s okay
-AS RED AS COULD FUCKING BE WHEN
PEOPLE HANDED HIM CONDOMS
-I know I said as red as could
be, but that’s because you didn’t think he could get any redder. But oh, were
-He turned almost glowing red
when he watched you just shoving the condoms in your pockets
-“I’m not gonna just waste
these, Yoosung, that’s rude” OH MY
GOD MC DON’T TALK LIKE THAT OUT LOUD
-Was disappointed that he didn’t
get to dress up or anything like that so you found a group of nice people with
some body paint and asked if they could do something for him!
-Cutie walked around with a
completely rainbow painted face (yours matching) and could not stop taking
-10/10 sent any and all photos
to the group chat, always talking about how much he loved you and this parade!
-“MC! It’s the pride
-You’d love to go with him, of
-Your relationship is…. well
it’s absolutely perfect to the two of you but there are still those who
-His fans are practically split
in half between completely idolizing your relationship, and the other half just
wanted Zen for themselves
-So you were pretty afraid to
attend pride like that, so out in the open, so…exposed
-But he was a-okay with it
-He didn’t care what others have
to say about the two of you???
-Once the two of you actually
got there though, it was a m a z i n g
-People would recognize Zen left
and right and they would be so excited
that he even showed up!
-But when they saw the two of
you holding hands, they practically exploded (in a good way)
-THEY WERE SO ECSTATIC!
-Their favourite actor is part
of the LBGT+ community and they are HYPED
-People are coming up frequently
to congratulate the two of you on your beautiful relationship
-He even sang a few love songs
up on a few stages, loving as the crowds went wild!
-The one thing he couldn’t stand
though, was all the hateful protesting
-He tried to ignore it at first
but as the day went on he couldn’t stop himself from walking over and yell back
-To prove a point, he pulled you
into a deep kiss- eliciting hundreds if not thousands of whistles and cheers
from the crowd at the parade
-You had to physically hold him
back from fighting one protester though
-“Jaehee! The pride
parade’s coming up! We should go!”
-P A N I C
-She loves you and most
definitely isn’t afraid to tell you that, but…
-She is afraid of others hating
her for it? She really dislikes confrontation
-But you assure her that it’s a
completely safe space! It’s full of allies and others celebrating same sex
-Agrees to go along, and even
dresses up to match you
-The two of you have adorable
shirts with unicorns on it that says “Squad goals”!
-Embarrassed because she doesn’t
use slang like that but the two of you just looked so cute!
-And honestly? Seeing all of the
happy couples expressing their love, the loud and proud people just enjoying
their time, thousands of colours and confetti everywhere; she’s in love
-Like?? It’s a place?? In
public??? Where she can kiss you all she wants??
-She does every now and then but
she’s still embarrassed the poor bby
-L o v e s the booths!
-Thinks it’s important to
support those in the LGBT+ community who create works of art!
-Honestly bought like 20 pounds
in books solely because they look amazing and are by up and coming LBGT+
writers (not to mention they all promised part of the proceeds go to
-She’s part of the RFA she feels
it’s like an unspoken duty of hers to do anything related to charities
-SHE LOVES THIS PLACE SO MUCH
-Lowkey wants to set up a booth
next year for your coffee shop
-“It’s a good business
investment, MC” “You just want to come to pride again next year, you
don’t have to lie” “A GOOD! BUSINESS! INVESTMENT!”
- ah yes
- jumin han does gay
- im soRRY I COULDNT RESIST
-He was kind of against going to
-Not because it was for pride or
anything but because he was just iffy about all the people
-Does he really want to go and
be surrounded by thousands of people, all of them bumping against him??
-Well one look into your puppy
dog eyes and the answer was yes, yes he did
-You had to convince him to
leave (most) of the body guards at home
-There were a few that followed
a moderate amount of distance behind but you caught them lowkey fawning over
the two of you when he would give you a quick kiss on the nose or squeeze your
-Honestly a few other couples
would stop the two of you and tell you how cute the two of you were??
-It would get Jumin so flustered
and you were SO THANKFUL because wow look at my cutie he’s adorable
-If any protesters even thought
about something rude to you the bodyguards were there in an instant
-You dragged Jumin along with
you as you looked at each and every booth, placing the beaded necklaces they
gave out around his neck
-The funny part is, he just let
you?? Like okay MC
-At one point the necklaces
stacked so high that you couldn’t see anything lower than his eyes
-He didn’t want to disappoint
you by taking them off so he left them until you noticed and laughed your ass
-Definitely took pictures before
you distributed most of the necklaces among the two of you and the body guards
-“MC, do you think
Elizabeth would enjoy this rainbow collar?” “Juju that’s not for
cats” “….Would you enjoy this collar?” JUMIN NOT IN PUBLIC
-He saw some… interesting
outfits, to say the least
-“Commoners are very…
odd, aren’t they?” that’s rude
-Saw someone walking their
partner on a leash
-The moment you saw him side-eye
you, you jabbed him in the ribs with your elbow, eliciting a slight grunt from
-“Don’t even think about it
-To get back at him for even thinking about walking you on a leash,
you poured a ton of glitter over his head while he was looking at some
-Actually chased you through the
large crowd, picking you up and spinning you before kissing you gently once he
-People cheered because wow look
y'all are so cute together
Female!MC/Pansexual!Saeyoung (LISTEN I CANT HELP BUT HC SAEYOUNG AS PANSEXUAL AAA)
-You wanted to go in support of
-But more than anything, you
wanted to go and support your boyfriend!
-He was pretty against going at
first, because he was afraid of what people would think about him
-It’s not like he advertises
that he’s pansexual, so what would his friends think? Would they change their
opinions of him?
-“Saeyoung, you just love
whoever you love, it’s not as if gender truly matters, right? So why would our
friends be against who you are as a person?”
-That’s what got him thinking-
you completely support him… so why wouldn’t his friends be supportive?
-After all, they are supportive
of all his gender-swapped costumes….
-You reminded him that he didn’t
have to come out if he didn’t want to. A lot of people who are simply just
Allies attend as well, no one would know how he fit into the community unless
he told them
-He had seen pictures of a few
parades before, and he noticed all the insane costumes people wear
-So of course?? He had to go all
out?? If he had to go, he might as well, right?
-Completely decked out in
rainbow body glitter, boxers with hearts all over them, and you even helped him
put temporary hair dye to make it rainbow!
-Honestly he was in love the
moment the two of you showed up??
-So many people dressed up
insanely without a care in the world, bright colours flying everywhere, people
being loud and proud
-His jaw honestly dropped at the
sight of it all
- Every time he saw a dog
wearing a rainbow bandana he’s smacking your arm- you have bruises by the end
of the day
-He’s yelling, singing,
laughing, and you haven’t seen him have this much fun in a while and you were
absolutely loving watching him enjoy himself
-“MC! Look! Look at how
proud everyone is to just be themselves, isn’t it amazing?” he held your
hands and looked down at them, “I wish I had the confidence to be like
them. I don’t even know where to start!”
-“Just do whatever makes
you comfortable and go at your own pace! Hey, you’re in a parade full of
strangers you probably won’t see again, why don’t you come out to someone? No
one here is going to judge you!’
-So he did! Actually, he did
quite a few times! And he felt a m a z i n g
-So good in fact, that he told
you he was ready to tell his friends!
-He spent the rest of his day at
pride asking people how about their experiences with coming out, getting tips
about the best way to do it, and getting nonstop support from tons of people!
He felt so at home, the next week or so he was clinging to you, never knowing
how to fully thank you
-THIS BOY LOVES LOVE
-Any and all love is beautiful
-So he’s super duper excited
when you suggest going to pride!
-SUPER ALLIES, MC AND JIHYUN!
-Honestly, all of the happy
people, bright colours, glitter, and especially all of the couples obviously in
love make him S O E C S T A T I C
-He brings a backpack full of
brand new SD cards for his camera, and he 10/10 believes he’s gonna fill them
-He asks people in the most
outgoing outfits if he can take their photo, and he giggles at all of the poses
-Up close and personal to all of
the floats to get pictures of every single detail
-When he sees couples getting
cozy, he asks to take photos to celebrate their love!
- v that can get a lil creepy
-Always offers to take a photo
on their phone for them as well so he seems less crazy
-He’s pretty sassy when he wants
to be, if you didn’t already know
-So when he sees protesters with
signs, he takes it upon himself to fight back
-He finds someone with extra
signs and holds them up proudly!
-When people shout out hateful
things, he gently asks them why they think that
-Always talking to them soft and
gentle, which confuses the hell out of all of them because?? They’re trying to
be hateful?? But this soft giant is talking to them so nicely???
-Which THROWS THEM OFF SO MUCH
MORE WHEN HE GETS SASSY WITH HIS COMEBACKS
-It’s such a large difference in
demeanor and even you’re thrown off guard
-He’s actually the one who asked
you to go to pride with him??
-In private, he told you that he
might… have wanted to attend… to show support for his brother?
-He’s really bad at showing he
cares but he’s trying to do it bits at a time
-But when Saeyoung brings it up
he acts like he’s against it
-“Why the fuck would I want
to go to that, there’s going to be so many people there, I don’t want
- but goes anyway
-He didn’t want to really want
to dress up, but you convinced him to at least let you paint a small rainbow
flag on his cheek (though it did take several days to do the convincing)
-He was really grumpy at first,
being dragged to and fro either by you or his brother
-Having to squeeze through half
naked, loud, or already morning-drunk people
-Started to really regret
attending until he saw how much fun his brother was having?
-He had never seen Saeyoung this
relaxed in his life and he silently decided he could put up with all of it for
him, just this once
-The two of you enjoyed visiting
all of the booths though
-At every booth, you get a couple of bead necklaces
-Saeran put them all on. All of
them. All of his, all of yours, all of Saeyoungs.
-Completely covered in bead
necklaces, and he l o v e s i t
-If you ask for some to wear you
just get this look from him- not a glare, but a kind of look that screams
“don’t even think about it”
-He also demanded ice cream as
much as possible
-You tried so hard to cut him
off but he just didn’t. stop.
-Saeran pls there are 47 ice
cream wrappers in my pocket p l e a s e
No matter who the shadow in Byul announcement yesterday is, I still hold a little hope that it will be Saeyoung, or at least they will do something to celebrate his birthday. But this chance is getting smaller and smaller when it’s his birthday now T___T
But still, I will hold this little hope until the shadow is unveiled.
(If you don’t celebrate Easter then… Happy Sunday!)
((And if you prefer the religious aspect of the holiday then…. um… Amen? IDK IM NOT RELIGIOUS IM SORRY))
I felt that, since we currently aren’t accepting requests, I
would write a little HC with some Easter themes for you guys!
Okay enough talking, here you go my dudes <3 ~Admin 404
wanted to do something a little different for Easter
of the standard basket full of goodies, he wanted to have some fun! Play
around! Go outside for once!
so nice outside… it’d be a shame if we didn’t enjoy it…. if we just sat in
here…. doing nothing….” “Yoosung are you okay? Are you
grabbed two spoons, a bucket with some unfilled water balloons, and your hand,
dragging them all outside
helped him fill up a bunch of water balloons, laughing when you realized they
had little patterns on them like Easter eggs or little bunny faces
the two of you were going to have a spoon and egg race, but with water
gets really competitive? But it’s always really playful, never hurtful!
knocked the spoon so the water balloon drops, or he bumps into you on
his 7th win, he’s laughing at you and gloating that “Shooting Star”
is the best Water balloon racer there ever was. He stopped laughing when you
hit him in the face with a water balloon
rest of the race turned into a water balloon fight. The both of you ended up
completely soaked, running, and giggling like children. Once you were out of
water balloons though, you two used the spoons as if they were swords and
continued to run around like complete dorks
WAKE UP I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU” “Zen it’s 6 in the morning this
better be important or I’m killing you”
you get dressed, hands you a piece of paper, and shoves you out of the house??
This early in the morning?? He won’t unlock the door?? YOU’RE GONNA FUCKING
piece of paper had a location on it and a memory he had written down on it- it
was the coffee shop the two of you and Jaehee frequent. When you got there, the
manager handed you a basket with a single plastic egg in it, and another piece
of paper with- surprise- another location and memory associated with it
a while, the scavenger hunt got harder and harder. He’d write down a memory and
you’d have to start to figure out where to go next
each place, you found a single plastic egg. Curiosity got the better of you and
you opened a few of them
were different puzzle pieces? He put together a scavenger hunt for puzzle
pieces? What kind of moNSTER
last clue sent you home where he sat at the living room table, waiting for you
helped you put the puzzle pieces together, the pieces revealed the picture you
were putting together was your favourite photo of the two of you, with “I
love you” scribbled in his handwriting in the corner
absolutely loved it and couldn’t stop smiling at how dramatic and over the top
he was with it, but it was still super cute! But there was a puzzle piece
missing? You turned to ask him about it and you found him holding up a plastic
egg covered in glitter. You opened it to find not only the last piece, which
was a picture of a heart, but also a ring.
turned a nice shade of pink but had the brightest smile when he saw your eyes
light up. The whole day was amazing, fun, and just absolutely beautiful. You
loved all of it, and especially him, there was no way you could say no
woke up that Sunday to find your shared living room covered in hand-made paper
decorations, coloured construction paper scattered across the floor, a basket
full of goodies she couldn’t quite make out, and you standing in the center of
the chaos with a large smile on your face
do you care to explain what all of….this… is?” She asked, side-eyeing
the large paper rabbit you’ve hung against the bookshelf
all part of a game! It’s the Bunny Hop game! We pick these coloured cards, and
move to that colour, sort of like Candyland!”
gestured over to the basket sitting at the end of the “board”, and
gave her the brightest grin you could
gets the basket of goodies!!! Okay okay, come over here!! Hurry, hurry!”
laughed at your enthusiasm and joined you at the start, taking turns moving
across the “board” from colour to colour
GAME WAS A LOT LARGER THAN SHE ORGINALLY THOUGHT? IT WRAPPED AROUND THE
KITCHEN, THE STUDY, EVEN OUTSIDE???? MC HOW EARLY DID YOU WAKE UP TO SET THIS
end of it all, she finally realized that you had rigged it so she would win.
The basket was full of some of her favourite coffee beans, a bunch of caramel
chocolates, some rare Zen merchandise, and a gift card for her favourite book
had no words?? You literally set this game up just for her to win? This is the sweetest
thing anyone’s done for her in a long time
two of you shared her chocolates throughout the rest of the day as she’s cuddled
against you. As a thank you for the day, she cooks one of your favourite meals
for dinner. she also makes you play the bunny hop game a few more times
because?? Its cute and fun and she just wants to enjoy it let her have this
Easter, you wake up to a basket full of goodies, correct?
you live with Jumin, you wake up to like 5 different baskets
even a basket for Elizabeth omg what a cutie
BASKET HAS THEMES!!!
are full of items pertaining to your favourite interests/hobbies, another is
dedicated to candies and chocolate, and the largest was by far the one he was
most excited about
held a beautiful outfit, dazzling accessories, and even some shoes??
grinning from ear to ear when you turned to ask him about it and he held out
some tickets towards you
This dude’s seriously taking you to a play?? What a NERD but you couldn’t help
but get just as excited who’s the nerd now, mc????
ACTUALLY THE CUTEST LITTLE PLAY ABOUT AN EASTER BUNNY BRINGING GIFTS AND JOY TO
CHILDREN AND YOU CAN’T BELIEVE THIS DORK TOOK YOU TO THIS (it wasnt even a play
pertaining to the religious aspect of the holiday?? it was a grown man in a
bunny suit?? and he loved every minute of it??)
the two of you got home, you gave him his own Easter basket, full of cat-themed
accessories, bottles of his favourite wines, and a hand-made coupon book full
of tasks and actions he can cash in on (which he laughed at because?? you both
knew you’d do any of these if he just asked)
too early in the morning and Saeran was pissed at the both of you
to hide dozens and dozens of plastic eggs around the house for the both of you
Saeyoung was COMPETETIVE AS FUCK
loves you, MC, but he’s gonna find the most eggs. He’s gonna get the most
candy. He will reign supreme
SAERAN HID THEM REALLY WELL??? THERE WERE A LOT THAT YOU COULDN’T GET TO AND
CURSED THE WORLD WHEN SAEYOUNG RAN UP BEHIND YOU AND GOT THEM
was one up like in the door of the attic? You found Saeyoung dangling from the
MC, since you’re soo nice and sooo amazing…” “I’m not bringing you
the ladder” “MC PLEASE”
actually threw a pity party in the corner of the living room when he lost the Easter
egg hunt? “YOU’RE BEING A CHILD, MAN UP, CHOI” “LEAVE ME ALONE
end of the day though, the two of you sat watching cliché Easter movies and
eating the pounds of chocolate the two of you collected
not surprising that the two of you ended up in a sugar induced coma, spread out
of the couch. Saeran looked at the two of you in disgust as he stole a handful
of his brothers candy, so you’d have more than him when the two of you woke up
there a large canvas sitting in your living room whERE IS THE FURNITURE
standing there in an old t-shirt and shorts, smiling at you proudly, which
makes you question just what he has planned
entire room is covered in layers of old sheets, painters paper, and cartons
upon cartons of eggs scattered about the floor
Look! We can make art with paint instead of photos this time!” “But
V, you have your camera set up right here, it’s set for rapid fire”
“No it’s not, ignore that” “IT’S RIGHT HERE” “No it’s
you’ve changed into the appropriate painting attire, you look around for some
brushes, and more importantly, some paint
watched as he picked up an egg, smiled at you, and threw it at the canvas. The
egg shattered, leaving a large paint splatter across it. That’s when it clicked
that the eggs are hollowed out and full of different coloured paint
two of you take turns just throwing different colours, laughing, and shoving
each other playfully
a while, throwing the eggs at the canvas turned into throwing them at each
other. He even smashed a few full of light blue paint over your head
MC, now you’ve got hair like mine”
fight didn’t end until the both of you were covered head to toe in paint, and
he had enough pictures of the two of you playing to make a full scrapbook of
its own. You even laid on the ground and made a paint angel, and he drew a
little halo above you and everything
watched in confusion as you filled a ton of different bowls full of vinegar and
had almost every colour you could think of and he wasn’t sure what you were
even going to do with it?
an explanation that, you take hard boiled eggs and set them in the liquid so
you can colour and decorate them, he was just left with more questions
would you do that? Couldn’t you just eat it? What’s the point?” “Stop
asking questions and just dye some eggs”
watched you use a clear crayon to draw some designs on the eggs, dip them in
multiple colours, and tried to do the same
first few eggs were literally just black
actually enjoyed drawing little bunny faces on some of them. There were even
little egg versions of the two of you!
while later, he realized that the dye sort of…dyes your skin, so he wanted to
mess with you
a paint brush and started to paint little pictures on your arm while you tried
to finish dyeing the eggs
was really relaxing and you couldn’t help but let him do it. By the end of the
night, the two of you were not only naked, but you guys were covered in adorable
little paintings! He loved them a lot and didn’t want to wash them off in all
honesty. Though the two of you reeked of vinegar and Saeyoung had to exaggerate
and wear a clothespin on his nose the whole next day
So I did a yoosung one almost two weeks ago ( rip me cause all my exams were slapping my face one by one ) but I’ll post Zen , Saeran & Seven tomorrow probably !!
From there I’ll finally begin my semi realistic of Zen and Saeran ~
So there’s a million things wrong with season 3, but there’s one thing that hardly anyone ever touches on that I think would have added a lot of emotional depth: Jazz’s envy. In Reality Trip, she even said that she sometimes wished she was a ghost. Sure, she said it to get in Freakshow’s head, but she was definitely thinking it for a long time before that.
I’d want to see that jealousy building, especially if Jack and Maddie form a truce with Phantom. Maybe Jazz even convinces Danny not to reveal his secret identity. She’s the oldest and is no stranger to Danny coming in and stealing her light, because that’s what happens when you suddenly aren’t the youngest anymore. And now it feels like it’s happening all over again.
Jazz pushes herself further and further, trying to stand out when her brother is already so special, and she just feels she can’t keep up. It doesn’t matter how hard she tries, how many As and accolades she gets, she just doesn’t compare.
Maybe it’s Desiree, maybe it’s Vlad, maybe it’s some mystical artifact- it doesn’t matter. Jazz becomes some twisted, dark version of herself with ghost powers, and she targets her own family. Her parents, for not noticing her, and Danny, for making it so impossible to be seen.
At the end of the arc, Danny beats the bad guy (and probably has his identity revealed to his parents in the process), and Jazz goes back to normal. Of course, there are lots of tears and apologies on all sides, and there’s a deeper bond between Danny and Jazz, one where Danny knows he doesn’t have to make himself seem lesser and Jazz knows that she is enough just being her and doesn’t have to compete.
A/N: i might have cried while writing this. this was requested but the request itself contains spoilers for chapter two of this (:
Walking down the street at night was always Saeyoung’s best
kind of pastime – he used his feet to move and his mind to think and ponder
what his next metaphorical ‘steps’ in life were, all while his feet were taking
physical steps down the dark and dim path.
It was rare for him to come across anyone this late at
night. Obviously, this was because people had better things to do – like sleep,
or crying themselves to some sort of sleeping state, or even just crying;
Saeyoung was tired of ‘just crying’, so when he woke up and discovered his
alarm clock displayed 2am as the time he decided to put on his least favourite
pair of shoes and go for a walk. Heck, he might even treat himself to a drink
at a 24/7 supermarket he happened to regular.
Tonight was apparently different, because at the end of the
street he found himself traipsing down there stood a girl waiting by the
streetlamp. She was texting, or at least doing something to distract herself from what was going on around her,
and put the phone to her ear – anticipating some sort of response down the
other side of it.
I'm seen a ton of people do MCs that are a little chubby/have a bit of a belly but I've never really seen any with like, a borderline obese MC? Like, they have to wear 4X clothes at least and it really upsets me bc I love body positive posts but I've rarely ever seen one for bigger than a little curvy and well tldr: can I request RFA+V+Saeran with an MC who is obese and really insecure about it?
A/N: I know I said
before when I wrote one about MC with a tummy and freckles that it was me but
like yo i was wrong this one is me ;A; tho my clothes are usually bigger to
fit my shoulders and bust way more than anything else fucking rip i hate
clothes Also!!!! Body positivity!!!! Yes!! ~Admin 404
I hope this isn’t too
repetitive to the other one I’ve written but??? It’s basically the same thought
-Loves your body so much!
-You’re always so warm to cuddle up
-He really doesn’t care what you
look like, he loved you for your personality before he even saw you in person
-You’re so kind-hearted and amazing,
why would your looks matter?
-Reminds you all the time that
you’re amazing and absolutely perfect to him!
-Will buy hoodies that are way too
big for him because!!!! He wants you to wear them!!
-Love love loves to lay his head on
your tummy and you play with his hair
-If you get insecure over it, he
cuddles you close and literally refuses to let you go
-You can get up and try to walk away
but he’s literally attached to you
-When you get tired of dragging him
around and give up, he’s ecstatic and peppers your face with kisses- Just wants
you to feel good about yourself!!!!
-His job relies heavily on looks
(and of course talent but shh)
-But literally does not care what
others say about you?
-Again, you’re so kind-hearted!!! So
nice!!!!!! So amazing!!!!!!
-Personality > looks
-You look past his looks, so why should
it be any different for him?
- Body worship
-Tells you there’s no reason to
change! Don’t fight him on this MC, he will shut you up with kisses real quick
-10/10 will straight pick you up and
carry you everywhere if you’re insecure
-“But Zen! I’m heavy!”
“Nonsense, you’re as light as the feathers on your wings my angel!”
- BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH
-She has to buy bigger clothes as
well, to fit her bust!
-SHE CAN WEAR YOUR CLOTHES!!!!!
-Really doesn’t care about your body
-Judges you by the size of your
heart, not your clothes!!
-Cuddle time is the best!
-Wants nothing more than for you to
-Will curl up with you, sipping
coffee, and watching one of Zen’s DVD’s!
-When you’re insecure, she will
marathon these DVD’s, talk about your guys day, or bring up literally any topic
- this lil shit makes you lose
your train of thought
-Once she knows you’re too
preoccupied to think about your appearance, she visibly relaxes and puts all of
her love into her words and actions
-He’s looking for an emotional
-He doesn’t care what you look like
-Loves you for you!!! You helped him
-Always holding you close!
-And??? Elizabeth the Third loves
-She’s always laying with you! And
he loves it!!!!
-If he notices you’re insecure, he
will sit you down and tell you how beautiful you are!
- will full on make a powerpoint
presentation on why he thinks youre amazing
-Seriously, you’re sitting there for
hours upon hours until he believes that you understand his point
-Enjoys all of the blushing he
causes, and at the end of his talk, he’ll drag you to the bedroom to show you
just how much he loves it eyebrows wiggling, wink wonk
-You were the one who was able to
look past the fake personalities he’s put up
-You’re the one who’s been through
everything with him
-So he really does not care what you
-You’re so important to him!!!!
Looks don’t matter to him!
-Plus, he loves cuddling with you
anyway! More to love! MORE TO LOVE!!!
-Feels so so so bad when you get
-He’s insecure as well, so when he
sees that you’re insecure he reFUSES
-DEFENDER OF JUSTICE IS HERE TO SAVE
-Can and will kiss every inch of you
to show how much he loves you
-Literally lays across you until you
give up and admit defeat. Afterwards, he will spend hours upon hours telling
you every little thing he loves about you
-How could you talk bad about
-He can’t believe it!!! You’re
-Why couldn’t you see that?
-So, you’re plump? Who cares? NOT
-He thinks you’re soooo
-You’re his favourite subject matter
for pictures!! ALWAYS TAKING PICTURES scream
-Holds you close every time you’re
insecure and makes you go through all of his pictures of you as he tells you
every single thing he likes about the picture
-The moment he has you in his arms
though, you will not be leaving. Nope. Not until he knows for sure that you’re
accepting of yourself
-Realizes that it takes a very long
time to actually accept yourself and your body, so he promises to help you as
long as it takes!! Wants you to love yourself as much as he loves you!!
-Why do you care what you look like?
-He doesn’t care about what you look
like, so why does it bother you?
- Team Insecure featuring the
Choi twins and this MC
-You’ve helped him through so much!
-He loves the personality and heart
that you possess, so why would the size of your shirt matter?
-When he catches you being insecure,
he will immediately drag you to some place where he can cuddle you
- saeran i dont wanna cuddle on
the floor its cold omg why
-Will hold you completely against
himself, and won’t let you go
-He lets you get all ranting or
crying out while he holds you close, and runs his hands through your hair
-Waits until you’re almost asleep to
whisper how much you mean to him regardless of what you look like, hopefully
putting a smile on your face
ALRIGHT KIDS, IT’S BEEN a while since we have gone deep and strong into our favorite source of folk with its lore, the people’s food for thought, the deepest days held by stories that taught us golden ways and made us laugh all the same: MYTHOLOGY.
And TODAY, you need to bring your hiking equipment, because we TAKE OFF TO THE MOUNTAINS: OUR TOPIC is ONI.
Now, when you say “oni”, most people think about Shuten-doji and Ibaraki-doji, the two most famous oni out there, with Shuten-doji being the gang leader of the oni that lived in Mount Ooe, and Ibaraki-doji being his deputy, and in some stories, his wife as well. Some more well learned ace detectives out there might also know of Kuma-doji, Torakuma-doji, Hoshikuma-doji, and Kanaguma-doji, the four top enforcers of Shuten-doji (outside of Ibaraki-doji him/herself). Supreme Superintendents of matters most mystical and mountainous marauders will even think about the bunch of oni in Onigashima, whose entire role in their story is to have their asses horrendously obliterated by Momotaro (a superturbochild) and his animal friends, which included a dog, a bird, and a monkey.
But today, we won’t be talking about any of those. Today, we have a SPECIAL GUEST from a rather obscure-in-the-West legend from the Heian Period.
If you have been consuming Japanese media for some years now, you may recognize this Suzuka:
Or this Suzuka:
Or maybe this Suzuka:
Well, thing IS, they are all based on the Suzuka we will be discussing today: Suzuka Gongen.
Also known as Suzuka Gouzen, this Dame Of Danger was an Imperial oni princess renowned for her beauty, her skill with weaponry, and her military tactics. Haughty and confident, Suzuka was beautiful, and she knew it: She often bragged about her good looks and was quite proud of it, like, haha, Yamato Nadeshiko WHO, THIS GIRL KNEW SHE WAS HOT SHIT and didn’t mind yelling that through an ancient Japanese megaphone. Suzuka Gongen was the Hot Instagram Friend, except she wouldn’t have gotten stranded in Fyre Festival because she would’ve just beat local wildlife with her SICK SWORD SKILLS. She was known for wearing a crimson skirt and is usually depicted, less flatteringly, as a prostitute, and more positively, as a dancer girl (in a dancing outfit). The point was less “SHE A THOT” and more “she’s kinda out there”. AND OUT THERE SHE WAS, CONSIDERING SHE COULD kill you in 600 different ways in an empty room, including using the room itself. GIRL WAS FUCKING DANGEROUS.
ANYWAYS, SO, Suzuka’s dad was doing imperial oni things, hanging out, drinking sake, when SUDDENLY he gets a visit from this very spooky individual named Akuro-Ou, who just so happened to be THE KING OF ALL ONI. “hey bro” Akuro-Ou bellowed with his mysterious voice, “so I see you have a pretty hot daughter”. Dadoni kinda knew where this was going, so he just replied “y-yeah” because he didn’t have the Guts to confront him. “lemme smash” ordered Akuro-Ou, and Dadoni replied with “ “ because exactly what do you reply in this situation. Kings and Oni are two kinds of people you really don’t wanna cross, so Akuro-Ou was the kind of guy you seriously didn’t wanna double cross (or, perish the thought, double-cross), so he kinda just decreed that, well, shit, ok, you can marry her, GEEZ.
So while this shit goes down, Suzuka was hanging out, being hot and cocky in the front yard, when SUDDENLY this dude comes and tells her “hey dude pack your shit, we are going to your marriage”, and Suzuka was like “EXCUSE ME?” and the dude was like “yeah see your dad decreed just now that you are marrying the King of Oni, Akuro-Ou, so yeah, hurry” and Suzuka was like “well fuck that blows, whatever, so can I see him” and he’s like “no” because Akuro-Ou was Very Mysterious and didn’t show his face. Since this is THE EARLY HEIAN ERA, they merely exchanged marriage vows, or made a contract, in this specific case, and that was that, woo, how ROMANTIC, married to a dude you don’t know who won’t even show you his FACE. This is, like, the LAME version of the Phantom of the Opera, without the weird theater people and the musical numbers. So Suzuka was pretty bummed about it, but she looked at the good side and said “YO BUT WE CAN PLOT THE DOWNFALL OF THE EMPEROR NOW” because she has an appetite for destruction and bedlam and Akuro-Ou at least had good ideas. Akuro-Ou and his two bestiest and lieutenants, Takemaru and Odakemaru, consulted a lot with Suzuka, since she was a badass strategist, and planned out this cool attack that was going to murderize the FUCK outta the Emperor and everything he stood for.
Now, this is the part where I remind you that ancient Japan had the best superspies in history, because EVERY TIME someone has an Ill Thought against the Emperor, he KNOWS (except that one time in Tokoyo), so the Emperor turns off Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 for three seconds to worry for his life and summons a hero to go whoop some rowdy oni ass before going back to his Kickflips because Emperors tend to do NOTHING IN THESE THINGS AAAAA. So the hero is sent, with explicit instructions to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and to not bring gum or bubbles, and he was HAPPY TO COMPLY. Also, I love the Japanese mythos insistence on straight up pulling heroes, like, it’s literally “emperor somehow fucking knew he was going to get sniped so he just pulls a hero from his pantry and sends him on his way to fuck shit up” like did they mass produce them back then, was “hero” an acceptable major to have in Heian Japan, what kinda shithole society are we in that I have to major in boring shit like being good to people and helping them with their problems instead of KICKING ONI ASS, I am so ENVIOUS of mythos.
So the hero in question goes to where the oni are planning their revolution, and Suzuka, also endowed with superspies, somehow learns of this, and throws a TANTRUM because no shitass human is going to interfere in the one good thing to come out of her marriage, no sir. Now, this is the part where the bad guys would send out minions to deal with the hero. Well, Suzuka is not most bad guys, so she grabbed her three cursed swords, downed a whole can of Red Bull, yelled “BEAST MODE!” and fuckrammed her way out of Oni Fortress to meet this dude HEAD ON in HONORABLE COMBAT. She was going to deal with him HERSELF. At the foot of Suzuka Mountain (yes, that was the name of the mountain), the two would meet for a DUEL.
“AAAALRIGHT YOU LIMP-DICKED CHICKEN SHIT PISS STAIN, SHOW YOUR DAMN FACE, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I AM GOING TO FUCK YOU UP GOOD, MY DUDE, I WILL SHOVE YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS, I AM GOING TO SCRAPE YOUR KNEE, I AM GOING TO PLAY PING PONG WITH YOUR BALLS, I AM GOING TO WRITE BAD HAIKU ON YOUR FACE, COME AT ME” softly whispered Suzuka when she finally arrived at the field where the hero was. Upon hearing this, the hero removed his large straw hat that hid his face and the coat that obscured his frame, and revealed his BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME FACE and DASHING MUSCLES. The hero’s name was Sakanoue no Tamuramaro, which translated directly to “HOT STUD 9000″, probably.
Suzuka’s immediate follow-up was “o”
because he was a fine piece of work, alright. “Yeah, look, um, change of plans: I betray Akuro-Ou and instead I marry you and we kick ass together”. “Surely you jest?” inquired the confused Tamuramaro. “Ahah, no, see, I jest about many things, but dick? No, I take dick seriously” she quickly replied, and that was good enough for T-Man, because they immediately fell in love with each other. I mean, look, you can’t blame her: If you get roped into a marriage you didn’t even know of with a dude whose face you don’t know, and then suddenly Handsome McNiceass appears before you, ripe for the eloping, you, too, would do it. And T-Man had no issues with this at all because Suzuka was basically if G.I. Joe was a beautiful woman, and you gotta be a FOOL not to marry a warrior oni princess. Long story short, they made the strongest Power Couple of the Heian Era and proceeded to HORRENDOUSLY FUCK AKURO-OU UP, like, god DAMN, they just showed up, gorgeous pair of WARRIORS, tearing shit up left and right like it was Dynasty Warriors, piledriving Takemaru and Odakemaru through the announcer’s table, Cross Bombing Akuro-Ou, they literally fuck up the WHOLE FORTRESS, just by themselves, like, no inch of it was unfucked by the end of it, it was the single best Wrestlemania in history and wrestling wasn’t even a thing yet. The oni revolution plan was SHATTERED TO PIECES, and only a POWERCOUPLE remained.
T-bro and Suzu then remained together, and Suzuka joined him in his heroics, becoming his partner in justice, which was the opposite of a problem for Tamuramaru, because what’s better than one killdozer? THAT IS RIGHT, TWO KILLDOZERS. Suzuka had three cursed blades, named Daitsuren, Shotsuren and Kenmyoren, as well as apparently being powered by the stars in the sky (literally, it is described that she “possesses supernatural powers from the stars’ movement”), and she utilized all of these things Pretty Damn Well to turn any evil doer into thin red paste stains on the carpet. I believe I have already made my point, but in case hyperbole betrays me: Suzuka Gongen was renowned, even back then, as one of the foremost and most important warrior-women in Japan mythos.
Knock knock Who is it? PATHOS
Suzuka Gongen died at the young age of 25. Suzuka and Tamuramaro had a cute half-human, half-oni daughter named Korin, but shortly after her birth, Suzuka’s tragically short life ended. Gently holding his beloved wife’s hand, Tamuramaro fondly remembered the happy times they spent with their child, the happy times they spent kicking villain ass, the happy times they spent within each other’s embrace, the warmth they shared, the soft caresses and the rowdy laughter. As her pulse vanished, her smile never wavered, and she departed this world a happy mother, a happy wife, a happy warrior, a happy woman.
And so, Tamuramaro and Korin continued on, an empty spot on the table, a futon too big for one family.
Isn’t life unfair sometimes?
Tamuramaro thought that. He thought that it was not her time. Not just yet. There were many asses left unkicked, many lips left uncurved, many happy moments left unlived.
He was not having this.
Not like this!
Not like this!!! It simply could not end like this!
AND SO HE NEVER GAVE UP! SAKANOUE NO TAMURAMARU DID NOT YIELD, AND HE WENT RIGHT INTO THE HEAVENLY LAND OF THE DEAD, THE REALM WHERE THE LIVING SHOULDN’T INTRUDE. HE FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL PAST WHATEVER ENFORCER DARED STAND IN HIS WAY, PASSED WHATEVER TEST OF MIGHT THEY THOUGHT COULD SLOW HIM DOWN, AND PERSEVERED, PERSEVERED, PERSEVERED! A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS FLOWS INTO A RIVER OF TEARS AND INVIGORATES IT WITH SHEER AMBITION! TAMURAMARU SAW THE LINE THAT SHOULDN’T BE CROSSED AND DOUBLE CROSSED IT. YOU CANNOT TELL THIS MAN WHAT HE CAN AND CANNOT DO.
And at the very end, there she stood: Suzuka Gougen. Their eyes met, their hearts ignited, and their hands clasped. Together, Sakaenoue no Tamuramaru and Suzuka Gougen fought right out of the Otherworld.
Back in the world of the living, T-Man and Suzuka both formally married, and they lived a long, plentiful life together, raising their child and being EXTREMELY lovey-dovey for many years to come. And, of course, kicking a SHITLOAD OF ASS together, as human and oni, hero and princess, husband and wife.
Suzuka’s legend has other versions: In some, she’s a bandit that stole the annual tribute from the Imperial Vault. In others, she’s a celestial maiden, whimsical and eccentric. In all versions, however, a fact remains consistent: She meets Tamuramaro, they fall in love with each other, they decimate rumpus together, Suzuka dies at 25, and Tamuramaro travels to the Land Of The Dead to pull her out, after which they happily live together.
WHAT CAN I SAY… THEY SAY PERFECT COUPLE DON’T EXIST, BUT I KNOW AT LEAST ONE.