mystic-theater

#68 - Disturbing children’s books (1003 - Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders) (submitted by xanfowler)

Let’s try this one; “Slow Bear’s Woodland Picnic.” What could possibly go…Wow. Holy cow! Slow Bear bashes in Charlie Chipmunk’s head with a can of pork and beans.

Always entrust your children’s literature to Ernest Borgnine.

2

Mystery Science Theater 3000, Ep. 1003: Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders

That feel when

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One of my boyfriends’ favorite bands is playing in town on the week of our anniversary. I’m definitely not into Slightly Stoopid–ok, I kinda hate them–but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the person you love. I took a deep breath and got us two tickets as an xmas present. I really think it won’t be so bad–I’ll probably be too high to care! And all I ask in return is some kind of reward for Boyfriend of the Week.

I just realized that...

… the film version of Interview with a Vampire came out in 1994. If you’ll recall, Damon is a fan of Anne Rice.

I would really love to see those two end up at an empty Mystic Falls movie theater together one day, when they feel like they’re losing their minds cooped up in that boardinghouse and get to wandering.

Bonnie would be impressed that Damon knows how to work the projector, but rather than saying so she’d just make fun of him for being alive back when they started making “moving pictures” and “talkies” in the first place. He’d pretend to be insulted, and then that fake affront would turn very real as she’d flick kernels of popcorn at him when he comes to sit next to her (It’s near impossible to clean popcorn off of sticky movie theater floors, Bonnie!).

He’d talk through the movie, pointing out little tidbits of trivia about how the film differs from the novel, as well as how the details compare to what life is actually like for a vampire. Bonnie would obviously be getting more and more irritated with every interruption, and every time he’d lean in closer and closer, whispering into her ear until finally she’d turn in utter exasperation and find that their faces are mere inches apart. He’d grin, and seeing that, she’d immediately get over being flustered and tell him to shut up and watch the damn movie because he can chatter on his own time.

When he turns away after that and leans back to settle in to finish the movie, his face would be more smug than ever, and he’d stretch his arm out behind and around her, not being subtle about it at all.

She’d roll her eyes, but she wouldn’t make him move.