mystery science theatre 3000: the movie

Team RWBY Headcanons
  • Ruby and Blake have a shared Manga collection.
  • Ruby unironically loves old horror and sci-fi movies, the cheesier the better.
  • Weiss watches those same movies just to ad-lib the lines (Giving them what Winter used to call ‘The Mystery Science Theatre 3000′ treatment).
  • However Weiss and Ruby both love cheesy music from the 90s and have been caught singing together (Imagine them singing this)
  • Yang is actually not as street smart as people think she is, being from Patch she still occasionally acts like a tourist in Vale.
  • Faunus rap is most definitely a thing and Blake listens to it.
  • Ruby has a lot of ‘Guns & Roses’ Merch, she doesn’t even listen to the band, Yang just buys it for her as a joke.
  • A lot of Yangs’ night time bike rides are actually her getting lost on the way somewhere and playing it off as intentional.
  • Blake usually reads on Yang’s bunk because it gets more sunlight than hers, she has been known to fall asleep curled up in a sunbeam.
  • Being from Atlas, Weiss Schnee has no concept of cold weather and can usually be found relaxing outside in anything less than a blizzard.
  • Ruby actually knows some really innapropriate jokes, she can just never tell them without blushing or cracking up.
  • Blake purrs in her sleep, Yang has videos.
  • Yang talks in her sleep….everyone has videos.
  • Weiss knows what Dust is in which chamber of Myrtenaster at all times, even when the weapon is in her locker.
  • Ruby has challenged Oobleck to a race before (Yang dared her to)
The Necessity of Perspective in Bad Movies

The appeal of bad movies has been, I’d say, a fairly consistent part of moviegoing culture. While the “midnight movie” in the Seventies made it more well-known, schadenfreude in the cinema has been around probably since the medium’s inception. Luis Buñuel’s 1933 documentary Land Without Bread presented openly false or exaggerated information in a Fishing With John-esque dissonance between footage and narrator. (it’s debatably the first “mockumentary”), implying a deliberately contentious relationship between filmmaker and audience. The latter have since taken up arms of their own, from the Razzies to Michael Medved’s “Golden Turkey Awards” to Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and its successors.

Watching a film with the deliberate aims of seeing something bad, whether out of genuine curiosity or mockery, is inherently a subversive act. It takes the expectations of what we want from the medium and reverses them. By extension, it’s an approach that discourages any kind of formalism beyond drinking games or common games in midnight screenings.

I don’t want to sound like the frumpy dad forcing everyone to stop playing, but I do think it’s valuable to address some specific elements of bad movies - or at least the best and most interesting. Deliberate shlock producers have steadily been trying to use the concept as something of a shield, justifying bad productions for a misunderstood conception of “irony.” I have no problem with camp or goofiness, but films that try to climb on it rarely are as fun to watch as they are to make.

One of their biggest problems, and the focus of tonight, is a lack of perspective. Too many movies really suffer from a lack of focus, intent, and position, which results in more acceptable but less exciting or specific movies. Many, if not all, of the best films all have a clear focus that galvanizes them, and without it a film often has a much harder time bridging its themes, visual style, and ethos. And while many of them lack much else, many of the best and most beloved bad movies also have a specific focus.

I once theorized that the chief appeal of the Room was less from its badness than its weirdness, although the two certainly mix extensively. It’s impossible to separate the bad technical and narrative and thematic decisions from the vision of Tommy Wiseau, which resulted in a film that looks and sounds unlike any other film in history.

It’s important to consider how singular Wiseau’s vision was, from the narrative dead-ends to the confusing references to the man’s own life clearly meant for himself alone, though he also clearly thinks they will enthrall everyone else. In other words, it’s this attitude and point of view around which the entire film rotates. The Room orbits around Wiseau, and his specific logic makes its universe work.

Of course, the man’s a huge cult icon, so let’s go with something less eternally-discussed. Troll 2 may not necessarily seem like a particularly auteurist work, but it’s power comes less from its bad troll goblin costumes than its odd ideas and themes. The movie is, improbably, a deliberate anti-vegetarian screed, presenting a meatless diet as conspiratorial and deadly. Having the climax of the film be a child eating a “double-decker bologna sandwich” to destroy Stonehenge really only exists in the mind of an auteur with no ability to translate confusing high concept ideas into anything remotely sensical.

It’s also filled with primo bad movie problems, like the lack of communication between its American cast and Italian crew that led to some truly inspired line readings. Things like specific lines seem to skirt the two, like the father’s comments about how “you don’t piss on hospitality,” or the odd interpretation of rural American life. But again, it’s a movie that can’t plausibly be faked, because it’s just so specific in its eccentricities.

Birdemic is also a movie that can’t be faked, and one that is a legitimate contender, but it’s a fundamentally weaker contender. Part of that is due to its atrocious cinematography and pacing, the kind more acceptable in amateur home movies than in anything that would reasonably be sold to the public. But despite being clearly from the mind of James Nguyen, it has little focus in its aims or ideas.

From the film, we know Nguyen is concerned about the environment, as well as other liberal or progressive causes (the man in the forest, the free promotion for Yoko Ono’s Imagine Peace website, the distraught veteran). And as Wiseau loves Tennessee Williams, he adores Hitchcock. But partially due to the bird attack at the halfway point, and partially due to a total lack of coherence to any of the dialogue and audio, it’s not as endlessly fascinating. Alan Bagh as idiot protagonist Rod is strikingly incompetent, but his total lack of affect isn’t as exciting as the more hammy performances, which are only found in minor characters.

After the novelty of the animation wears off, the film just crawls to a slog. Outside of some truly brilliant moments, the bird fights are less engaging than, say, just hanging out with the family or random million dollar sales. In Nguyen’s attempt to ape mainstream films, he takes their most banal elements and makes the even less interesting - specifically, action scenes that wear out their welcome after the first scene and keep going. It’s almost the exact same runtime as the Room, but it’s not as consistent, which makes it less satisfying. But it’s still a strong example of a complete lack of self-awareness, which makes the idea of a self-aware comedy sequel less appetizing.

And it’s that idea of aping mainstream films that’s really central to not only these three, but really all bad movies: a failed ambition to be something they never could. It makes sense for filmmakers to focus on successes to follow, but in a way their failures are illuminating about the successes, not just in what they do right but what they do wrong. When Delgo or Foodfight! tried to copy the successes of contemporary animated films, the stunt-castings and puns of Dreamworks productions had aged atrociously, and their own attempts at the same were markedly worse. And of course, it’s not as though there aren’t giant, faux-blockbuster bombs that captured the imagination, like Battlefield Earth or Heaven’s Gate, but those are usually just as focused in their ideas.

Ultimately, the importance of a great bad movie, more than anything else, is a lack of realization into its badness, and an attempt at reaching for a peak that’s always out of reach. It’s why Troll 2 is more beloved than Saturday the 14th, and why Tommy Wiseau’s stint of cameos and follow-ups is more pathetic and dispiriting than fun. And a lot of that lack of self-awareness comes into play with a specific perspective, one that otherwise would never believe in the wonderful curiosities it created.

Headcanon: Back when they were in field-ops training, Tracer introduced Winston to an old TV show called “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” After graduation, the two of them started “movie night” at Overwatch’s Geneva HQ, where everyone came to watch and make fun of old movies; even Jack and Ana would join in when they weren’t working.

- Submitted by erikhowlett.

daphneblakess  asked:

I am very curious to see a Senshi fancast of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (aka the weirdest Christmas special ever who thought this was a good idea)

All the memories I have of this movie are vague fever-dream recollections from the one time I saw it as a child, and that’s how it’s going to stay. To those who actually remember it: I’m so sorry. 

That one protagonist kid: Chibiusa

He has a sister I think?: Usagi

Grandma whose function in the story is to be run over: Naru’s Mom ultimate victim

Grandpa who i think sings a song about fruitcake at some point: Grandpa Hino

The two aunts who do an odd dance sequence about suing Santa for all his Santa money: Crow and Siren

Mr. Evil Corporation Man who is there to prove that Greed is Wrong: Galaxia

Sideburns Elf: Artemis



Mikey’s a Great Boyfriend Too!

We all know Donnie’s my favorite turt, but let’s hear it for Mikey! He would make an amazing boyfriend too. Here are all the reasons why you would be lucky to call him your Boyfriend-enstein. @jouyasha, this is mostly for you ;)

1. Lots and lots of affection. He’s the ultimate teddy bear boyfriend.

2. He finds joy in even the smallest things. There is always a reason to smile or celebrate.

3. You can geek out with him. Comic books, toys, cartoons… Aw yeah.

4. Judgement free pizza. Whenever. You. Want. (Breakfast, lunch and dinner? Why, no honey, I don’t think that’s weird or unacceptable at all.)

5. 8,000,000,000 Pet names. Mikey loves to name things and you can bet his cute little nicknames for you would be adorable, hilarious and just a little awkward.

6. Netflix on the couch on a cold day! You know Mikey would veg out with you all day and marathon awful sci-fi movies. Mystery Science Theatre 3000? Yes.

7. Spontaneous water ballon fights! (Even in my thirties, I would like to do this.) Really, with this little goober, boredom is completely unacceptable.

8. Underneath this squishy little sweetie is a tough guy who loves and protects his family.

9. Smooth Michaelangelo!

10. And finally…these:

happypillls  asked:

gaderobe, chip, lumiere, musicbox?

  • Garderobe: What words do you live by?        

I stress out a lot about things I can’t control so I try to remind myself  “Que sera, sera” or what will be, will be.

  • Chip: What do you like to do for fun?

I like to go out with my friends, mostly. They can make sitting in a McDonald’s parking lot at 12 am a great night. I also like to subject them to shitty movies a la Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  You know we’re friends when I pull out Showgirls.

But when I’m by myself, I usually like to knit. I know it makes me sound like a grandma, but it’s possibly my favorite hobby. 

  • Lumiere: Are you an extrovert, an introvert, or something else entirely?

I’d say extrovert? I get lonely very easily. My  ex-roommate left last semester and I had a room to myself all of the spring term and I just was pretty miserable being alone that I pretty much lived in my friend’s suite.

  • Musicbox: Share a well-loved memory.

The time Kathy Fitzgerald ( who played Mrs Gloop in Broadway’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) gave me a hug after I gave her fanart at Charlie’s stage door. Although the time Emma Pfaeffle ( Veruca Salt) said she wanted her picture tattooed to her chest was also pretty great. 

Really, Charlie stagedoor was amazing. They were such a great cast.