myshame

Late Update?

Been running behind schedule on Hero+ you guys! The next page is done, but I need to scan it and touch it up before I upload it. It will be up later tomorrow. Gah! i’m so sorry!

I am always asked what keeps me motivated, what I am about to share some may find funny but I am sharing it for those who need it. Please keep in mind at I am barely 5"4 and I was at least 410lbs in that picture. I stay motivated because of a few moments in my life but this one particular moment I had worked 16 hours, came home took a shower and was to tired to even eat so I went to sleep, when I woke up I got dressed and walked across the street to Jack-n-box. I ate there because my legs still hurt and it was nice to actually get out the house which I rarely did. I sat in a booth, the ones you slide in and out of. So after I finish eating which was a lot, I proceed to gather my trash and tray so I could get back home and found myself not able to move, I kept trying but literally it was like I was glued there. I began to panic. I couldn’t ask anyone for help, I would just die if I had to ask someone to help me out 😥😢. Bad enough I felt trapped in my own body but to feel like you are trapped somewhere with no escape is truly terrifying. So I managed to talk my self down and calm myself. I sat there for a few minutes, adjusted my legs and push down on my stomach to make room between me and the table. I was able to move down little by little 😢😥😓. It took me a little while but I got out. I couldn’t believe that I had allowed myself to be in such a situation. That truly depressed me but opened my eyes that something had to be done because clearly this was no way for me or anyone to live. I refuse to go back. I deserve this healthier life I have come accustomed to. I have had a couple of bad weeks lately. Bad weeks for my is not in the gym and snacking, which is something that left picture would do and DAMMIT I am not that person anymore. I am BEAST, a survivor and I have worked my a$$ off for that picture on the right. I will continue to fight for it, one day at a time because I leave no other option. I am poof you can do it too.
#stillstanding #keepgoing #itispossible #fckobesity #fckbeingunhealthy #myshame #fightforit #noexcuses #winningismyprotocol