myposts (iv)

feb 14, 2017

as i wrote in a poem recently, i believe a relationship with God is “a step by step masterpiece”. or, in other words, it doesn’t just come into existence and that is it. it is a constant, every morning decision that get’s stronger and stronger with each step. and sometimes weaker and weaker. and sometimes we stop completely. it’s not always the same. it morphs, it weakens, it strengthens, it moves like a living organism and we can’t deny its changing rhythms. we can’t box up a breathing and moving God. 

to paraphrase a favorite quote, God is a surgeon. He’s going to tackle your most fatal wound first. He’s not going to work on the scrape on your knee when blood is gushing from your neck. And, in your relationship, piece by piece, He’s going to work on all the other places that need fixing.

that is how i feel right now. no, i have not taken steps backwards. no, i haven’t “slipped away”, “went a different path”, “become worldly”, or whatever else people like to word it as, because i don’t think it’s ever that black and white. 

you’re not one foot in, one foot out - you’re three toes one way, with the last two trying to go the other way, and the whole other foot is burned off up to the ankle and even if you knew where you were headed, you can’t walk and get there. and you’re begging for guidance but you’re alone. you’re all alone. you feel all alone. 

it’s not simple. it’s a moment by moment, decision by decision, prayer by prayer, step by step masterpiece. 

my heart is broken for many reasons. i hate him, i don’t like him, i don’t want anything to do with him. i’m in surgery and God is working on my fatal wounds. bitterness is just a scraped knee and we’re both more worried about the blood loss. what i’m saying is, i don’t believe in him at all but my heart is broken and i’m desperate to be fixed. and who knows, if he can fix my heart - well, he can take the rest too. 

okay but listen the raven cycle au where everything’s the same except Pokemon Go exists 

  • when ronan first dreams Chainsaw people think its a new Pokemon because who fuck  walks around with a bird 24/7 
  • (after the 5th time someone stops and points their phone  at him he is prepared to Break It.)
  • St Agnes Church become a Pokemon go hotspot. poor adam gets confused at why all these Aglionby Students are hovering around the church at random hours of the day
  • Ronan turning up to visit for the first time since the ap release and being like bitch yes  making some room adam I’m moving in
  • “a fortuitous combination that focused most of the objects of Ronan’s worship into one downtown block”  including them rare Pokemon Go  items!
  • “ronan wtf why have been stood outside for like 10 minutes come inside”  "but I gotta catch them all"
  • Adams moving out Right Now
  • Noah Czery the truest Pokemon stan on this planet this bitch collected them Pokemon cards for Years 
  • he makes them name any ghost time Pokemon type they catch after him for the #Aesthetic
  • Blue Sargent the Pokemon Go Queen ™
  •  gansey and henry have  to literally force her phone away from her phone while they’re travelling
  • “gansey  stop here there’s a Charizard I gotta catch" 
    "BLUE WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAIN ROAD THERE ARE LIKE 6 CARS BEHIND US”
  • Ronan sending blue pictures of Rattata he catches with the caption  "u didn’t tell me u guys were back in Henrietta!”
  • “u didn’t tell me u had another brother” blue responds with a picture of a raticate
  • Blue Vs Ronan World War Three Pokemon Go addition 
  • gansey sucks at the game. he has about 25 magikarps
  • that’s It. that’s literally All he has. 
  • hentry insists they’re attracted the pig  because “look they’re practically the same color ur like  magikarp magnet”
  • Gansey Regrets All His Life Choices

BETWEEN TWO LUNGS [ AO3 ]

Drowning wasn’t how Michael expected it to be.
There wasn’t a white light or a tunnel up to heaven. His life didn’t even flash before his eyes. Just purple. Countless shades of purple was all he could see, like swimming in Ribena.
Michael felt his heartbeat slow and arms and legs go numb as his brain shut down. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the current playing with his fingers as the silky water lowered him down into the dark.

Or, the one where Calum is always in the right place at the right time, and happens to have pointy teeth and a sharks tail.

pairings: malum / lashton / lowkey mashton

rating: teen and up audiences

tw: almost (intentional) drowning

[ mermaid!calum, human!michael, surprise!lashton, ot4 friendship ]

note: ok omg this is my first ao3 fic so pls be nice and also im posting this @ 4am so im lowkey dead :-) this is based off the florence and the machine song ‘between two lungs’ so give that a listen 2! the writing starts off a bit shaky but gets going p soon! please read the end authors notes too + i would love some feedback!!