I came to the realization that I’ve been pursuing music in some way, shape or form for about the last 16 years. SIXTEEN YEARS. WTF??!!?? What is it…some version of sadomasochism? Musical hari kari?
I had a friend vent to me yesterday about some shady crap that happened to her recently and it was really weighing on her because on top of being cut out of a nice amount of dollars, she’s also dealing with the hoop-jumping that comes along with getting into the music biz. She, in so many words, said she was unsure if it was worth it because it was seeming pretty thankless. She’s been at it for maybe a year.
I gave a few encouraging words but I had to think to myself, “You aint seen nothing yet!” Like I said, I’ve been doing this off and on (much more ON than off) for the past 16 years and I have YET to get a deal, to release an album, do my own video, win an award, etc etc. Yeah I’ve done small things but I’m nowhere near my personal goal and yet I’m still doing it. With very little complaint. I always tend to think that when someone complains about the process, then this isn’t for them. Do people REALLY think it’s as easy as saying, “I am an artist/singer/rapper/producer/dancer/publicist/etc?” It surely isn’t for everyone because the amount of WORK that goes in??? Unpaid, time consuming, sacraficial, thankless WORK that you must put in before a payoff???? Sometimes I wish I didn’t care as much…..
Sigh. This is super random, but I just woke up this morning still thinking about why some people go so hard for a dream while others give up at the first hiccup. I think about how long I give myself to “fight.” When is enough too much?
Guess I won’t be pondering long on it today since I’ve got to put in the unpaid time to exercise (getting back to fine!) and write another song- a possible- to help me get to where I’m going. I just hope I have the strength to see it to end! I’m sure I do. I’m a G after all :)