signs as parks and rec references

aries: craig

taurus: treat yo self

gemini: johnny karate

cancer: the accounting guys that love ben

leo: lil sebastian

virgo: every time chris says “literally”

libra: jerry having a fart attack

scorpio: orin’s human farm

sagittarius: galentine’s day

capricorn: jennifer barkley

aquarius: waffles from jj’s diner

pisces: jerry

how to treat the signs when they're sad

aries: let them get their emotions out, let them cry and afterwards play some really loud music and get them pumped (they might want to punch something)

taurus: when they’ve decided their sad, it’s near impossible to change their minds. offer them a shoulder to cry on, and help them reason with their despair.

gemini: do not make them ashamed of their emotions, comfort them, cry with them and when they’re ready to laugh and move on, they’ll let you know

cancer: compliment them, tell them it’s not their fault. they probably won’t listen, but be their cheerleader and give them a safe place to be open with their emotions

leo: don’t tell them they shouldn’t be sad. they might tell you their life has ended, there’s no happiness left in the world. listen to them and reassure them.

virgo: be warm and nurturing with them, and offer practical solutions. don’t let them feel weak for feeling the way they do.

libra: tell them you care, they always appreciate reassurance. listen to them, they might want to be alone or maybe they want a hug, they’ll tell you what they need.

scorpio: they might not be open to talk about it, but that’s okay. be caring and very gentle. don’t make loud or brash statements, just listen

sagittarius: they tend to only cry in front of those they really trust. be grateful that they’ve opened up to you and reassure them that they are not weak, that there is strength in sadness

capricorn: they might want to lay down and do nothing, or they may become very active. whichever they chose, support them and offer a helping hand, even if they don’t ask for it.

aquarius: if an aquarius cries, it’s for a good reason. they might get angry. respect their feelings and be a quiet, but strong, comfort for them.

pisces: you can’t reason with a sad pisces. you need to let them scream and cry and wail. give them time and a shoulder to cry on.

the signs in labor

aries - pulls the baby out while the doctors are too busy stalling with the paperwork

taurus - gets the nicest room in the hospital, demands new warm blankets every five minutes

gemini - hurriedly tries to read all the baby books they’ve been putting off for the past nine months

cancer - the water broke but it doesn’t matter because the room was already flooded with their tears

leo - vlogs the entire thing and puts it up on youtube two days later

virgo - checks off every step from their checklist, brings face oil blotting sheets, does regular breathing exercises and meditates

libra - “no, really, i’m fine. i was born for this.”

scorpio - turns into complete maternal mush. super nice. cries when they finally hold the baby. entirely composed of love. the world is unsure if they should be worried. no one is safe.

sagittarius - laughs at themselves, at their state of frenzy, at the world, at the contractions, at their husband, at their misery

capricorn - hurriedly tries to read all the baby books they’ve been rereading over and over again for the past nine months

aquarius - tries to stay collected but the actual pushing out is just endless screaming

pisces - on the epidural and just having the time of their life

anonymous asked:

Are you going to translate the rest of the 'Chibi Tetsu + Daiki-oniichan'? Just curious...

Hmmm I think the reason why i didnt continue the series is because someone already did. But i’ll check and see if there are anything for me to translate :D

why the signs got arrested

aries - it was originally supposed to be a speeding ticket until the cop found the body in the backseat

taurus - set off the alarm attempting to rob a bank

gemini - forgot the suitcase of illegal marijuana on the plane and was tracked down three days later 

cancer - main suspect for a crime they did not commit nor they had any idea of

leo - arson

virgo - the one time their friends convince them to go out and let loose for once, they get arrested for indecent exposure

libra - excessive shoplifting

scorpio - violated the restraining order

sagittarius - “they just … they did everything”

capricorn - no one knows, but they got three life sentences for it

aquarius - they didn’t get arrested, escaped unharmed, and someone else took the blame for it

pisces - dealing drugs on school property
Make It Everlasting So Nothing’s Incomplete

Trying to be conspicuous so he doesn’t startle him, Harry sidles up to Louis and asks, “How’s it going?”

“Alright,” Louis muses, turning his head so he can smile at Harry. “I wish there were explanations about what each of the flowers mean on labels or something, though.”

A thrill runs up Harry’s spine, and he can’t quite temper the grin that spreads across his face as he asks, “Well, I could tell you, if you’d like?”

“Oh, only if you have time, I don’t want to keep you away from your work -”

“Louis,” Harry laughs, gesturing around the empty shop. “There is nobody here and, as luck would have it, there is literally nothing I would like more than to talk to you about flowers.”

by: supernope

Oneshot, AO3
Midnight Flight

pairing:Götzeus (Mario Götze/ Marco Reus)

summary: Both of them were knocked to the ground. Face-to-face. This was not Marcel. But – fuck – this was the most gorgeous creature Marco has ever seen in his life.

by sunshinetina (AO3)

Oneshot, 1.435 words

notes: awkward!Marco will make your day better
Just For Me

Harry is a supermodel with a fake boyfriend. Louis is the captain and star forward of Manchester United with a fake girlfriend. They should have no problem having a completely platonic lunch between friends.

(They do.)

by: iwillpaintasongforlou

Oneshot, AO3, Mature