At the end of the day, after all the adventuring is over and Ashildr is asleep, Clara takes her 5 minutes.
She cries. She cries for every time she reached out to take the Doctor’s hand to find only air, every time she saw something wonderful and wanted to show him, every time she asked herself what he would do in her situation. She misses his jokes and his ridiculous clothes. She misses his eyes, his caring, and his never giving up.
Most of all she misses what it felt like to be with him, like they could take on the universe and win and like they could lose everything but it wouldn’t matter as long as they didn’t lose each other.
Because they lost. They saved everything, yes, but they lost each other.
“the first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. nothing at all, not ever. and then i met a man called the doctor. a man who could change his face. he took me away from home in his magical machine. he showed me the whole of time and space. i thought it would never end.”