anonymous asked:

FYI you as a cis person don't get to police other peoples identities and you can be CAFAB and present as a woman and still be trans :) :) :)

I’m trans, you idiot. It says that right on the top of my blog. You had to scan your eyeballs over that fact to get to my ask page.

Secondly, if I can be biologically female, present as female, use feminine pronouns and still be trans, what the fuck does “trans” even mean? Can I use other words the same way? I was born white and grew up in America, but I am Chinese. I practice Judaism but I’m deeply Buddhist. I’m perfectly healthy but I identify as having cancer and I’d really like some chemo, please. I swear, nothing has ever made me feel so deeply ashamed of being transgender as this fucking website. But hey, I guess I can just identify as cis, right?! I’m a cis man who was born female! Words have literally no meaning! Everybody gets to be special! Hip hip hoofuckingray!


help out a recently homeless gay transmale couple by donating (all donations go towards food and gas money to keep warm in this cold winter!) for handmade hemp things or just cheering us up with some posi vibes!

hey friends! i’ve created this page to hold a quick summary of our situation and to host our new donation button!

so, to start and for those who don’t know who i am or what has been going on, my name is skylar. i’m twenty-two years old and a transgender male. 

recently my boyfriend (who is also transmale) and i, along with our chihuahua pup dawson, became homeless due to our having to leave a dangerous and transphobic environment when our housemate found out my transgender status almost two weeks ago. there was a confrontation and my boyfriend was hurt trying to block her from me, but it was only a small injury to his leg luckily and apart from that and the ongoing verbal abuse/threats, no other physical harm was done.

the three of us have been living in our car since then and while we feel quite positive and content with the simplicity of things, a small, cramped two door pontiac g5 is not an ideal “home” for two adult guys and a chihuahua. i put “home” in quotations because home for me is anywhere that dakota and dawson happen to be, but the car is currently our home as well as each other.

a week before this happened, we spent the last of our savings to get our car fixed (thankfully!) by getting new headlights, tail lights, and brakes along with oil change, etc as we, of course, were not anticipating this to happen. so we don’t have enough money left to rent anywhere.

you can read more about that here and here which are two posts i have made in the past near two weeks talking about the situation.

you can also track our adventures in our homeless tag as well as by following me on instagram (@imsorrycameron).

i made a post for us on the transhousingnetwork which can be found hereunfortunately, there has been no such luck yet with finding shelter for ourselves and our pup! 

we do each have part time jobs and are donating plasma, but money isn’t lasting very long in this cold winter as we spend more on gas than anything else as we have to use gas to run the heat to regulate the temperature as we try to sleep in parking lots around our town.

our tax refunds should arrive in the next 3-4 weeks and we can use that to rent a place or relocate to a different state that hopefully will have better laws about protecting the rights of transgender folks (our current county does not recognize this discrimination!) but for now we are just trying to get out of our car/the cold.

we have had many folks, friends and friendly strangers alike, say that they would donate a few bucks if we had a donate button set up for those who do not have a pay pal, so after mulling it over a few days we decided to give it a go, ‘cause why not!? 

the way i figure, $2.12 will buy us both dinner and if someone has some spare cash and wish to spread the wealth, then i will humbly accept.

not only that, but to all who choose to donate, we are planning to mail out handmade hemp things once we are back on our feet and settled in 2-3 months, just in time for summer! keychains, wristlets, and necklaces, woo!

so if you can find it in your heart to spare a couple dollars (and get an awesome handmade hemp gift in return at a later date!), we would greatly appreciate it!

click here to be redirected to the donations page (which goes straight into my paypal) and there you can either use your own paypal to donate or for those who don’t have one, there’s a nifty option to use a bank/debit/credit card! 

or just click the big donate button on the sidebar of my blog! it will also redirect you. :]

if you have paypal and would rather just use my email to donate (those who have paypal will know what i mean ;]), the email for that is

as always please feel free to contact me via my email ( or askbox if you have any questions, want more information, or just wanna chat/send along some good vibes!

thank you to all of our friends, followers, and supporters for the incredible kind messages, support, and for reaching out to us!

posi vibes, mad hugs, and much love,

skylardakota, and dawson the chihuahua!

p.s. signal boost? :]

*EDIT* we live in frederick, maryland!

**EDIT** i believe i have fixed the clickable donate link in this post. thank you to those who brought the issue to my attention!

- it’s okay to have emotions and get sensitive, you’re still a guy
- it’s okay to express your feelings in any kind of way, you’re still a guy
- it’s okay to cry, you’re still a guy
- it’s okay to like to cuddle, you’re still a guy
- it’s okay to not like to have sex, you’re still a guy
- it’s okay to be human, you’re still a guy
- no matter what you do, if you’re a guy, you will never be any less of a guy

Binders 101

Chest binders, often called binders, are articles of clothing worn by people with breasts to flatten and masculinize the appearance of their chest.  Binders can be exceptionally helpful in dealing with dysphoria related to one’s chest size or shape, but knowing how binders work and the different styles is important before purchasing one. 

There are three basic types of binders, each with their own strengths and weaknesses.  Velcro binders are great because the tightness is adjustable, but the Velcro wears down over time and they need to be washed frequently to maintain the stickiness of the Velcro and the strength of the material.  Pullover binders tend to have great coverage and bind well, but they can be difficult to get on and off and the tightness is not adjustable.  Zipper binders are easy to get on and off and cannot come undone on their own like Velcro binders can, but the tightness is not adjustable and the zipper itself can be uncomfortable to the wearer. 

Beyond the three basic styles of binders, there are the materials each is made out of.  Most binders are made out of spandex, neoprene, cotton, mesh, or lycra spandex.  There are pros and cons to each different material, for example some bind better than others such as spandex and neoprene, but some breathe much better like cotton or mesh. 

With the style of the binder and the material(s) it’s made out of in mind, choosing a fit that will work well for one’s needs and body is important.  Some binders have higher necklines, which helps with the appearance of the chest but can be more easily seen with a low-cut shirt or a tighter fitting t-shirt.  V-neck binders and binders with lower necklines can help with the issue of visibility of the binder itself, but the actual binding ability tends to be less favorable than with binders that have higher necklines.  There’s also the option of half-length binders, also called short binders, verses full-length binders, also called long binders.  Short binders tend to be more comfortable and are good in warmer weather, but long binders can help slim the appearance of hips. 

The three most popular websites for purchasing chest binders are Les Love Boat, T-Kingdom, and Underworks.  Les Love Boat tends to have more expensive products but the quality is higher than at T-Kingdom and Underworks.  Les Love Boat also has a guide to comparing their different products based on different criteria such as comfort, binding ability, and how well the binders breathe.  Underworks mainly sells pullover binders, but their products are less expensive than Les Love Boat or T-Kingdom.  In terms of being able to compare products and read reviews, Les Love Boat has the best site.  It also has the broadest range of products available for sale. 

Before choosing a binder, reading its reviews is very important.   Many reviewers will state their chest size, and knowing how well a certain binder works for various chest sizes is very helpful, especially for people with larger chests, which tend to have more trouble finding a binder that works well.  Understanding sizing is also vital for purchasing a binder, because each website and even different products on the same website may use different sizing.  Measuring one’s chest multiple times can help deal with the issue of sizing, as well as reading over the website’s sizing chart to understand how they size their binders.  By far, the easiest way to see if a binder is good or not or whether it will work for a certain body type is to read its reviews.  Les Love Boat has many reviews for each of its products, as well as its rating system based on different criteria so choosing the right binder is much easier through them as opposed to T-Kingdom or Underworks which do not have the extensive reviews or rating system that Les Love Boat has. 

To recap, understanding the different styles, cuts, and materials of binders is very important before purchasing one.  A binder might work very well for someone whose bra size is a 34C, but very poorly for someone who is a 38DD, so knowing one’s size and reading product reviews can help in avoiding purchasing a binder that doesn’t work well.  Reaching out to other people who bind to see what has worked well for them can also be helpful in deciding what binder to buy.  It’s also important to remember that binding is not very comfortable, but if one feels pain then that binder is too tight.  Binding should never be physically painful.  It may not be comfortable, and one’s breathing may be slightly compromised, but it should never be painful.  Stay safe and good luck choosing the right binder!

anonymous asked:

Who do you think you are trying to be male? You were born female for a reason, to bare children and look after your man. Get back to reality.

You’re ignorance astound me. Allow me to enlighten you.

I was born female because of a genetic flaw. It runs in the family. My uncle is transgender, and its because of people like you that they’re too scared to be the girl they feel that they are. My grandma would be considered transgender, because she’s always felt like a boy. Ask any doctor, they’ll agree with me when I say its pretty much like a birth defect, one they can’t catch on to until its too late. And I wish they would have caught on, trust me, I want nothing more then to be what people define as a “real boy”.

I was born female because of a genetic flaw, not to bear children and look after my man as you put it.

And if you still feel the need to be an asshole, I would appreciate it if you didn’t send it here. This is an ask blog. I do not need to be explaining things like this here. This blog is for Armin, not for transphobic hate.

Thank you.

Someone accidentally called my cis-male castmate “she” at rehearsal the other day, and he got all melodramatic (as actors do) and said, “How dare you call me a woman! That’s the most awful thing ever!” And I just walked by and quietly said, “Now you know how I feel.” And his jaw literally dropped - he was fucking speechless and I was just like
What we can learn from my kid and her transgender friend

Just a few days after my daughter started second grade at a new school, I got an email from her teacher that shocked me.

The note outlined how my child had hurt another student’s feelings when she asked why a boy in her class was playing on the “girls’ team” during P.E. The student in question had been introduced to my kid as a girl but self-identified as a boy.

I wasn’t upset that my daughter expressed her confusion, nor was I upset that a child in her class appeared to be transgender. No, my anger was directed at the adults, who failed to explain the situation (which was well-known to other students) to my kid.

After school that day my daughter was distraught that she hurt her new friend. I explained to her what it means to be transgender.

“It just means your friend doesn’t feel like he’s a girl, even though he might have been born that way,” I said, shrugging. “All you really need to know is that he’s a boy, not a girl.”

“Oh,” said my little girl. “OK. Mom, I have just one question.”

I braced for the worst.

“What bathroom will he use?”

I told her that was up to her friend and the teachers and that was the end of the conversation.

The next week, the class sat down as a group and the teachers explained that this child, we’ll call him Scott, had changed his name and decided he was really a boy. The class issued a collective shrug and accepted Scott into the fold. No more girls’ teams, no more using a feminine name to identify a person who looked, spoke, dressed and behaved like a male.

Boom! Problem solved.

All of the grownups were nonplussed. Here is an issue that causes so much ire, pain and fear for adults — and 30 7- and 8-year-olds barely blinked.

My daughter’s friend is incredibly lucky to have parents who not only listened to their child and took his confusion and pain seriously, but also had the courage to allow him to express his true gender in a world that is fearful and, all too often, violent and cruel when confronted with something it doesn’t understand.

While statistics are tough to find, recent data released by the Organization of American States revealed that, in July 2013 alone, 23 transgender people were murdered.

These are sad, scary numbers that reveal a deep-seated fear and hate that shakes me to my core. I consider myself an enlightened person and still, when my 5-year-old son runs downstairs to show me he played dress-up in a skirt it makes me squirm — not just because it challenges my own set of ingrained ideas about gender, but because I also know how society treats people who are different.

Then I think about Scott, and my daughter and her classmates and I tell myself that I should do my best to handle it just like a second-grader would.

  • Lunch table: *talking about periods, cramps, etc. etc.*
  • Me: *sits in silence*
  • Dysphoria: psssst, guess who can relate to this~
  • Me: stfu
  • Me: S T F U
  • Shark Week: *crashes through window* DID SOMEONE SAY PERIODS