• Sirius: Why haven't I seen it?
  • Remus: Why do you wanna see it?
  • Sirius: He's my best mate!
  • Remus: Again, why do you wanna see it?
  • Sirius: What if Prongs has an accident? What if he's horribly disfigured and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I'm standing there and I'm saying, "Sorry, I can't help you, because no, I haven't seen my best friend's penis," and boom, he's buried in a mass grave.
  • Remus: Again, why do you wanna see it?
  • Gryffindor: No.
  • Ravenclaw: Why?
  • Gryffindor: You can't make it so every door in the school asks you a riddle before it lets you in.
  • Ravenclaw: It works for our common room.
  • Gryffindor: That's because it's the only way to get you guys to talk to one another.
  • Ravenclaw: So?
  • Gryffindor: Nobody would be able to get anywhere!
  • Ravenclaw: .... so?

97. Scorpius was the gay best friend who did everyones hair and was better at putting up make-up than most of the girls. All of the Weasley-Potters would call on Scorpius to do their hair and make-up whenever they were going out. He even did Rose and Dominiques wedding hair …