my-whole-school-is-like-this

Capitalism teaches that workers should think of themselves as individuals. 

When we engage in class conscious activism in our workplaces, schools, and neighborhoods, we often find people who will insist they are not members of a class.

Organizers confront this claim a lot. I found this a common confrontation at university, in department meetings, at the bar I worked at for years. I’ve met so many men since high school, year after year, where ever I’ve lived, who will first engage with a complaint. They aren’t like what they propose I’m representing them to be. This is the gist of the anti-socialist claim that we’re all just too selfish for anything but capitalism. The response claims ground for individualism as a pre-requisite for any conversation about social (dis)order. Well, I’m different. I’m my own person. I’m an individual. You accept that or I’m just going to derail the whole thing in five minutes. Why? Freedom, asshole. Free to be me and you’re free to be you. You find liberals and white supremacists making the same argument.

When we engage in criticism of whiteness, white people will immediately disavow racism. “I’m not racist.” (In fact, many people who aren’t white will step in to say it on behalf of white people.) But whiteness is not a pigment. It’s a call to individuality (although one with special privileges and one that composes a social quality as a property.) Consumerist capitalism encourages us to recognize our potential as individuals who work for a living and who make free choices about what to do with our lives, where to and how to work included. 

Individuality in capitalism denies class difference without denying upward mobility. It denies racism without denying racialization. (I’m not addressing patriarchy and various normativities, but I can go on.) As individual citizens, we’re supposed to think of ourselves as equivalencies. In the US, Donald Trump can appear as a person who has made his own wealth rather than as an inheritor and as one who has always been afforded legal breaks when making bad business decisions. He hasn’t suffered individual choice. To criticize Trump is to criticize his working class supporters. They see themselves as the same. Nationalism takes all comers, of course, because it permits the non-white citizen to excuse white supremacy in US, for example, because they embrace the racial state apparatus as a necessary part of social life. So, Trump’s supporters aren’t just racist white men. They are increasingly a diverse group of supporters who see their support as a practical means to defeat the woman running against the man. (Well, that last bit is how I see it. I think the hate for Hillary Clinton in the American right wing is a deep-seated misogyny. If they truly didn’t appreciate her policies, they’d be unable to support Trump.)

I know your whole thing is like “Oh, I’m so pretty. I’m a pretty nerd. I graduated from college a year early with my neuroscience degree and was going to like go to clone baby brains but accidentally wound up in magazines because I know science and computer stuff but if it
 doesn’t work out I can always just go to brain school or computer school or wherever.’

But you better start figuring your shit out. Get a five year plan. Because if you don’t, you’re going to wake up one day and the thing you thought would be an interesting thing to do after college is actually your career and then you have to live with it.

—  Gloria

anonymous asked:

To the anon that thinks she likes a girl even though she's liked boys her whole life: I was the same way. I've liked boys, but my junior year in high school I started liking a girl, or at least I started noticing that I liked a girl. I'm in college now, and I've found that what is important is not to label yourself, because that can be damaging. I would just go with your heart and feel things out. Don't feel pressured to label yourself one way or another. You like who you like, just be yourself.

^

Turning Pointe

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/turning-pointe-short-film–2/x/14204279#/

Guest blogger Emily Rose writes about her new short film, Turning Pointe:

I’ve always been obsessed by dance. Not just beautiful girls onstage with tulle and pointe shoes, but the hard work and determination of men and women who torture their bodies to achieve a few moments of beauty onstage. What would it be like, to be constantly compared to others? Do you crumble under the pressure, or do you find a way to live with the competition?

That’s what I wanted to find out with my latest short film, Turning Pointe. It follows Alicia, a ballet student in her final year of school, as she prepares for the most important audition of her life. Alicia is a dedicated dancer, but she’s spent her whole school career as second best to star pupil Sophie, and now she’s determined to take centre stage in her academy’s production of Giselle.

This film is about Alicia’s relationships with the other girls in her class, specifically her rival Sophie. For this film, I felt it was important that we make Sophie a likeable, bubbly personality, because that makes Alicia’s situation all the more difficult. They’re competing for one role, and for Alicia to succeed, Sophie has to fail. It’s a cutthroat world, and this film explores what Alicia may have to sacrifice to achieve her ambitions.

Women are still woefully underrepresented in the British film industry: less than 30% of producers and less than 20% of writers are female.[1] That’s why Floor (my co-producer) and I made a decision to work with the most creative and hard-working people we could find, regardless of gender or race.

I’m still new to the film industry - I only graduated from university a year ago. When you’re on the bottom rungs of the ladder, it’s almost impossible to attract funding from professional sources, which is why we turned to Indiegogo to raise the money we need for production.

We need more films about teenage girls whose aspirations don’t revolve entirely around getting a boyfriend. I love a good swoon worthy romance as much as the next person, but I just don’t feel like they have anything to do with my life. In my experience, boys drift in and out of your life, but it’s your female friends (and sometimes enemies) who weather the highs and lows alongside you.

It was the lasting and sometimes fraught relationships with my female friends which inspired Turning Pointe. I wanted to celebrate ambitious young women who have drive and determination, even if they don’t always get what they want. I wanted friendships which are complicated by the jealousies and insecurities which we all feel (whether we admit it or not). Most of all, I wanted to celebrate the amazing feeling  of finding the people who will make sacrifices for you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

BIO: Emily Rose is a British writer and producer. Her previous projects include the web series Elinor and Marianne Take Barton, a modern adaptation of Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, and The Stuff of Legend, a short film about the girlfriend of a superhero vigilante.

- Emily Rose 

Want to know more? Check out the Indiegogo campaign to see the promo video, perks, and more!

My favorite thing that happened in high school was my freshman year when we had early morning marching band practice on the football field and this one junior showed up late (again). She refused to do push-ups for being late (as was her habit) and my band director, usually a calm, soft-spoken dude, literally sprints down the bleachers where he was standing at the top to watch, hits the track running, vaults the seven foot wire fence and flat out charges straight at her, yelling the whole time. She drops like a sack of cement and starts doing push-ups before he even gets to her. It was the single scariest and funniest thing I’ve ever been a witness to.

anonymous asked:

I'm having this issue with my boyfriend where I tell him about a story were building together and he tells me all my ideas are cliche. He won't listen to me when I say that it's okay to use cliches to a degree as long as you don't build your whole plot on one. And my plot is most certainly not a cliche but it's science fiction and there are definitely some sci-fi tropes thrown in. How do I explain to him because otherwise I won't be able to tell this story as half of it belongs to him :/

It sounds like you should be writing a book alone. Without your boyfriend. Why did you partner with someone who doesn’t have the same writing opinions as you? You both clearly come from different schools of thought. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, both for your book and your relationship. 

mechahipster asked:

Some kid in school like "dude, like, Oh my god, Megan is so cute. Look at her" while they don't know she eats people

I legitimately love that people discuss the comic in real life like that’s so cool to me
But oh my gosh Megan IS cute (despite the whole cannibalism thing)

When I was graduating they had people filming the whole thing and they livestreamed it to people seated in the gym and also the school website and when we were singing the irish blessing or whatever they panned across the whole graduating class and then stopped and zoomed in on me with my bitch face not singing and kept it there for like 10 seconds this is great this is how I wanna be remembered

anonymous asked:

there's this boy and he's in my school but I never really noticed him. Friday we went out with a lot of friends and I was really drunk(which wasn't my intention at all) and he was worried and took care of me the whole night, everyone said it was really cute. Few hours later we went for a walk to get my head clear and we ended up kissing. He's so sweet but he's a shy type of guy and I'm really loud and outgoing but I really like him and I don't know what to do tbh I think he's too good for me

THAT IS SO ADORABLE DUDE!! Aw, I’d definitely go for it friend. Maybe you can take him out of his shell and you can both learn different things from each other! Opposites attract ya know!💌 You’re definitely great for him and I think if you like him and he likes you, go for it. So so cute. Best of luck!!🐝🌹

(anon hour ! come talk to me!🌤)

anonymous asked:

I have this overwhelming desire to shave all of my hair off, run away to a city, and start my whole life over. I'm only a high schooler and I have a pretty good life, if I stay the way I am I will likely get into a good college and be successful. I've also been feeling very numb and emotionless for the past few weeks. Please answer quickly otherwise I could do something rash! I'm scared of my own brain and I don't have control over myself. I'm having more panic attacks I can't tell anyone about!

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re definitely going through a tough time! I’m very sorry we weren’t able to answer your ask anytime sooner, but we’ve just been very backed up and trying our hardest to work through all the asks we have in the box, but that does mean our waiting time is much longer than we want it to be.

I think, but I’m not a professional so I could definitely be wrong, that you’ve been having these overwhelming desires because you’ve been feeling numb and emotionless. Starting your life over, running away, shaving your hair off- those are all very big decisions, and it could be a way of trying to get your emotions back again. Often when we feel numb, we become destructive, to at least feel something. Do you think that could be the case for you? It’s okay if this isn’t the case, we can figure it out still! The reason I’m looking more into why this is happening, is because I personally find it very helpful to get some more insight in the situation. If I’m feeling bad and I have a reason, then it’s easier to deal with than when I’m feeling bad for no reason. Does that make sense? I hope so!

It’s very possible that even though you seem to have a very good life, you actually aren’t entirely happy with the way things are. Getting into a good college and being successful isn’t everything in life, there’s much more that can contribute to being happy. So are you happy with your current life? It’s okay not to be happy! Sometimes that just happens, there doesn’t have to be a very clear reason. I mean, I have caring parents, a good financial situation, I’m quite smart (gosh I hate saying positive things about myself :’) ), meaning that I will probably finish uni and get a PhD and get successful, but I still am dealing with depression. I still am very unhappy with my life. I know that I’ve got a lot of things to be happy about, but it just doesn’t always work that way.

When there are times you feel like you don’t have control over yourself, sometimes it’s necessary to ask other people to help you get that control back. They can help you by keeping that control over you first, until you can do it yourself again, which most likely is when things have settled down and you’re dealing better with the whole situation. You say you can’t tell anyone about your panic attacks, why not lovely? I don’t mean to say that it’s not true what you’re saying, I’m just wondering about the reasons :3 Mostly because I believed for a very long time that I couldn’t reach out to anyone, but when I did eventually they were very relieved I did. I can’t say if this will be the case for you as well, but it’s worth thinking about <3 I’m always here if you want to talk things through!

When you’re having a panic attack, it might be helpful to look at this page. For general anxiety, you can also check out our Anxiety page series, created by the wonderful Dani! Maybe you can find some tools that will help you out. I really hope that things will get better for you, please let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful <3

Love Pauline

6

Despite the fact that most of my friends couldn’t be with me on my birthday, they still came together and made the day really really awesome so i’m making this rather self indulgent post to thank them once again for all the amazing things they did for me!

Shoutout to @swatser for my new badass 21p record [which i can’t listen to until i get back to school due to the fact that, like, i don’t own a record player lol but it’s okay it’s going to happen], @weaselholes for driving two and a half hours to come see me and hang out for the whole day, my parents for letting me buy books to my heart’s desire, and my peeps in the sinnamon squad @niuniujiaojiao and @boxesfullofthoughts for making me this KICKASS care package [to which i’m devoting three whole pictures because i love it so much]

You guys seriously helped make this day super special across friggin state lines and countries and even oceans and shit, I can’t thank you enough <3

Thank you also to everyone who sent me birthday wishes! Y’all are the best =]

Ponyboy Imagine: Endings are the best part.


simply-g0ld
 asked: How about: pony takes you on a picnic. & you have your first kiss together and spend the whole night doing stuff?

A/N: Surprisingly this is my first Ponyboy imagine! Wish me luck!

                                            ______________

      You were walking to your new boyfriends house just like you always do every morning before school. Once you arrived, you gave Pony a hug and smiled into his wonderful eyes.

“Um, Y/N. Before you leave I was wondering if you would like to go on a picnic tonight like, around 6? At the lot. You don’t need anything,” Pony asked with hope in his eyes.

“Of course, Ponyboy. I’ll be there!” You told him before rushing to school.

–Time Skip–

       You got home from school, dropped your backpack, and went to get ready. It was around 4:45 and you wanted to look perfect. You threw on a cute cocktail dress and your hair was curled perfectly into loose waves. You put on your shoes and started walking to the lot. As you came closer, you saw a figure just like Ponyboy and had an amazing feeling in your stomach.

“You look stunning,” Ponyboy complemented as you sat next to him on the picnic blanket. 

“Thank you, you look very handsome,” You stated back, a smile growing on your face. 

“Why thank you,” He said and you both started to laugh. It got quiet and you both just stared into each others eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” Pony said as he pulled you into your fist kiss together. You were first shocked but then, you started to ease into it. Your lips moved in sync together and it felt almost natural, like two puzzle pieces do. You both pulled away and smiled. 

“Endings are the best part,” He told you. 

You just laughed and looked at him, “Yes they sure are,”

rule: u gotta tag people you want to get to know better!!

tagged by @flowerdowns

name: Clara
gender: female
relationship status: single & lonely
zodiac sign: aries
siblings: older brother who I say I hate but is actually kinda great if u can get past what a loser he is
favorite color: all of them
pets: a dog named Hobbes who I love with my whole fucking heart
wake up and sleep times: go to bed sometime between 11 and 12, later most weekends, and wake up “at 7” (REALLT like 7:20 shhh) during the week and anywhere from 8 to like 11 on weekends
lemonade or iced tea: lemonade
cats or dogs: both at different times
day or night: night?
text or calls: texts more often but talking on the phone is easier and more intimate
make up or natural: natural for school and shit, makeup for going out unless I’m in a hurry or just lazy
met a celebrity: yeah at stage doors and stuff. i met Michael Cerveris twice in a day once (broadwaycon and then spring awakening closing) and he recognized me the second time I died
smile or eyes: tbh details of faces freak me out a but but maybe both
light or dark hair: like 55-45 dark
intelligence or attraction: does this mean like beauty or brains? ¿por qué no los dos?
chapstick or lipstick: lipstick is that even a question
city or country: city but with a garden and parks and shit
last song i’ve listened to: benny’s dispatch from in the heights don’t judge me
first language: english

tagging time! uh. how bout @pleasedontthinktwice (u can’t escape me) and @emoritz and @colourfulpantsandarainbowhat (u also can’t escape me) and @hamlitons

OH ALSO moss @luvlettrz and @yitzbecca and @justifiably-supernatural and @meganekitsune
The Most Beautiful Man In The World, Who Lives In My Building And Only Ever Sees Me When I Look Disgusting

The Most Beautiful Man In The World lives in my building. i don’t know his name. we met on a bus, when i smiled WAY too brightly at him for strangers because, honest to god, my whole heart lit up in a way that made me think, “oh, i must know that guy!!” no. i didn’t. he’s just The Most Beautiful Man In The World.

what does The Most Beautiful Man In The World look like? i will tell you:

  • like the way the sun spills over water at dusk
  • like the way food smells when you’re hungry
  • like the sound angels make when they’re doing folk covers of pop songs on their heavenly harps
  • and also kind of like the guy who played Chad in “high school musical,” if the guy who played Chad in “high school musical” was the most beautiful man in the world.

i tell you this not only to brag that i live in the same apartment complex as The Most Beautiful Man In The World but also because i want to know WHY, if there even IS A GOD, every single time i run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World i look like a LITERAL DUMPSTER TROLL that has just CRAWLED OUT OF ITS GARBAGE HOUSE in search of FREE WIFI AND A SLURPEE. i want to know why i can never just BE COOL with The Most Beautiful Man In The World when we ride the elevator together, which is!!!! kind of often!!!!!

DID YOU GUYS KNOW that sometimes i look nice?? sometimes i actually look like a FUNCTIONING ADULT!!! sometimes i would go so far as to say i am an ATTRACTIVE INDIVIDUAL!!!!! 

you know who DOESN’T know any of that???

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, WHO LIVES IN MY BUILDING!!!

here’s a quick rundown of the last few times i ran into The Most Beautiful Man In The World:

  • i was wearing a maxi dress i had very cleverly biked home in, without a helmet* (*don’t try that at home, kids), in the VERY HOT AFTERNOON SUN, so i was a GROSS SWEAT MONSTER but without any OBVIOUS INDICATOR that there was a normal reason for it, and i couldn’t stand to look at him so i just glared at my phone while he probably wondered, alarmed, whether i was fleeing the scene of a crime
  • i was wearing a white shirt that i had not SECONDS before spilled salsa ALL OVER in a big red stain right down the front like a KINDERGARTNER
  • i was carrying two armfuls of ENORMOUS bags of popcorn with a three musketeers bar literally in my mouth and he overheard me say through my stuffed candy cheeks to my doorman, “oh, no, i’m not having a party, this is literally all for me”
  • i dropped my backpack while opening my mail and said to it, defeatedly, “why? why did you do that when i explicitly told you not to? do you like being on the floor?” 
  • i fell into and then off of the elevator

why??? why does this happen??? what vengeful god has orchestrated it so the ONLY TIMES i ever run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World are when i could easily be mistaken for a child’s doll that has been put through the wash by accident, or a dollar bill that has been stained by years of being in people’s sweaty palms, or a mop with eyes???

whatever. everything costs money and everyone you love disappoints you. Mop Eyes out.

Still trying to play tough guy? Then go act like one.

I was heavily bullied in grade school and tried to kill myself in 8th grade via overdose. After a summer of therapy and mental health checkup, I came back to the only high school in the area for Freshman year, and I’d like to think I came back with a thicker skin.

It was the second week in PE class, and I was talking to one of my closest friends (Let’s call him VG, for Vape Guy) when one of the dumbest and self-centered kids I’ve ever met in my life showed up (for the purpose of this story, let’s call him IB, for Inbred). This douche got back from ALC from the whole bullying mishap, being one of the ringleaders, and decided to take it out on me.

Before we move on, I have to mention that the bleachers we were sitting on were about 5 feet high but they are pushed back to give more room in the gym. The gym teacher lets us sit up on the top because he really doesn’t give two sh*ts about his job. I mean, if he did, he would of a). kicked this guy out for not being in his class and b). stopped this whole thing before it happened.

Like I said, we were talking when this inbred idiot showed up, and it went as I figured it would, but I wasn’t going to curl up and hide.

  • IB: “You got me in a lot of trouble, CityofCyn_.”
  • Me: “Well good for you, your parents actually taught you what trouble feels like.”
  • IB: “You almost got me sent to juvie, you f*cking fairy! My dad paid a good chuck of cash just to bail me out!”
  • VG: “You sure it wasn’t because you almost killed him?”
  • IB: “You stay out of this, you damn douchebag.”

This went on for about 5 minutes, and though this entire time he was punching my shoulder. Now, I bruise easily, and I’m probably the farthest thing away from a masochistic, but learned in therapy not to show fear or sadness. So instead of getting upset, I got annoyed.

  • Me: “-and will you stop f*cking hitting me, you piece of white trash?”
  • IB: “What are you going to f*cking do about it?”

VG (who is like 6 inches taller then me (5'8) and out weights me by 30 lbs (170 lbs)) was about this close to knocking him out, but before he could do do anything, I already had a plan.

I had my book bag in my hands (about 5-10 lbs depending on the week) decided to take some aggression off. I grabbed one of the arm straps and swung it into Inbred’s face. While he was dazed, I grabbed his jacket and threw him out of his seat, off of the bleachers, and onto the wooden floor 5 feet below us.

The slam got everyone to turn around to see a guy face first on the ground and me and VG sitting up there with concerned faces (everyone says i can be an actor if I tried). He gets up with no obvious injures and turns to me with a “WHAT THE HELL!?”

I just turned to him and said, “Yeah, these bleachers are not the safest to get out of in this position, you really need to watch your step.”

He just yelled, “YOU F*CKING THREW ME OFF YOU PIECE OF SH*T!”

I jumped off the bleachers and whispered “You really want people to know you got beat up by a f*cking fairy?”

VG is just cackling to himself and IB looked like a vein is about to pop. He storms out of the gym to (not) go back to his class and just left everyone there unknowing of what happened.

He never bothered me again, and even dropped out a few weeks later due to his extremely low GPA. I never got in trouble for what I did, funnily enough.

anonymous asked:

I'm strongly considering reading The Raven Cycle because of you, but is the whole Ronan/OtherGuy-ship the only thing that's good about it, or is the rest of it good too?

It’s definitely not the only thing good about it and is not my favourite part of the series

It features

  • All encompassing friendships
  • Optimism
  • Dealing with trauma (this book does have certain trigger-warnings attached to it if you needed to check through me)
  • Beautiful images 
  • Boarding school (although this is more of a background player)
  • Diverse family dynamics
  • There’s bound to be a character you resonate with (Gansey is definitely mine)
  • Ideas about religion 
  • unhygienic teenage habits like keeping your fridge next to your toilet
  • sacrifice 
  • Squaring up to fate and telling it to fuck off 
  • brightly coloured polo shirts
  • Dreams vs nightmares (literally)
  • A beautiful Virginian town in which to lose yourself in – the locations the narrative surrounds itself around are amazing and homely (the 4th book disappointed me in this regard but I still love the book)
  • No queer baiting
  • No ‘oh realising i may be gay is causing me so much drama and angst it will consume my whole story line’ at all LIKE WOW well done
  • Cars
  • RoboBee
  • Brothers
  • Feminism!!!!

No spoilery quotes include

  • “She wasn’t interested in telling other people’s futures. She was interested in going out and finding her own.” 
  • “She recognized the strange happiness that came from loving something without knowing why you did, that strange happiness that was sometimes so big that it felt like sadness.”
  • “I want you to know I was more when I was alive”
  • R E M E M B E R E D.
  • “I will be your hands, I will be your eyes”
  • “I’m always straight.” / “Oh man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”
  • “Blue was a fanciful, but sensible thing. Like a platypus, or one of those sandwiches that had been cut into circles for a fancy tea party.”
  • “Not today! No, thank you! Too many events this decade. Perhaps later! Cannot do the shock! Thank you for your time.” #relatable amirite
  • “In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys.”
  • “he had caught happiness without meaning to.”
  • “Happiness, he insisted. Happiness.”

legit i could go one for ever but for the moments that’s all there is

stop fucking telling black kids they’re not black because they don’t fit what you stereotype black people to be like. i remember being told my whole life until i graduated high school that i was told that I hated being black or that i wasn’t a real black person and for the longest time i felt like a sellout to my race because i didn’t act a certain way and it was so detrimental to how i felt about myself. and then the one thing that people would consider me black for (my skintone) they would slander the fuck out of me for that so its like i just could never win. there’s no one way to be black so stop telling black kids they’re not black because they don’t act like your stereotypes.

You Make Me Nervous

Originally posted by soldieronbarnes

Originally posted by bbuchanann


Based on Anonymous Prompt: Hey could you do a bucky fluff where (y/n) is staying with steve (they’re bfs) in his house where buck livea too and steve goes to a supermarket or something, (y/n) fav song is playing and she aks buck if he would dance w her (akward i knoe but cute)

A/N: Sorry for the long break.  It was kind of a crazy week and I was super tired the whole time.  But my school year’s winding down, so I’m gonna try to post a little more frequently.  I just want to say that SEB DANCING IS MY LIFE.  (I watched Ricki and the Flash a couple months ago, basically just for Seb and the dancing scene (which is where the gifs are from) in it was wonderful).  I felt a little bit rusty while writing this, so I hope it’s not too terrible and that you like it!

Tagging @pleasecallmecaptain and @mattymattymerduck.

-

When you’d asked to crash at Steve’s place while you searched for a new apartment, he’d warned you about the late nights.  He’d warned you about how sometimes, he’d come home from missions, battered and bruised.  He’d warned you about his morning runs.  He’d warned you about his tendency to sing in the shower. 

He had not, however, warned you about James Buchanan Barnes.  

Bucky was Steve’s best friend and he was currently co-inhabiting Steve’s apartment.  He was also currently making your life exceedingly difficult.

“You’ve got a crush on Bucky,” Steve says when the two of you catch a rare moment alone together in the apartment.

“I do not,” you insist, already feeling your cheeks give you away.

“Right,” Steve says, skeptically.

“I mean, what even…” you trail off.  “Why…”

“Oh, come on,” Steve says.  “It’s obvious.  Every time he walks in the room, you’re blushing and smiling and tongue-tied.”

“Exactly,” you say and Steve raises an eyebrow.  “If I’m as tongue-tied as you say and clearly never talk to him, how on Earth could I have a crush on him?”

“You’re just proving my point,” Steve chuckles.

“That’s completely not true, I-“

“Hey guys.”  Bucky walks into the room and you immediately clam up.  Steve smirks triumphantly at you and you glare at him.  

“Am I interrupting?” Bucky asks and you shake your head.

“No, I was just on my way out,” Steve says and you look at him, confused.  

“Out where?” you ask suspiciously.  

“The supermarket,” Steve lies expertly.  He grabs his wallet and keys and hurries out the door, closing it quickly behind him.

“Huh,” you say.  “Okay.”  You turn back to Bucky and find his eyes on you.  You fight the rising blush and endeavor to act like a normal human.

“So, uh, how was your day?” you ask, going over to the radio, looking for a station you like.

“Fine,” he says.  “Yours?”  You shrug.

“It happened,” you reply.  Bucky nods and the two of you stand in silence, the only sound the intermittent static and changing radio stations.

Your foot taps the floor nervously as you search for something, anything to say. Your mouth feels dry, your tongue like sandpaper.  You can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, so you keep your gaze on the radio as you fiddle with it.

“Well, I don’t want to annoy you,” Bucky says quietly.  You look up, startled.  “So I’ll just…”

“No!” you say, mentally slapping yourself.  “It’s fine.  You don’t have  to…”  Bucky hesitates, but stays in the room.  You breathe a little sigh of relief.  

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asks and you nod.  “Do you not like me?  You always seem to clam  up when I’m around.  I’ve seen you with Steve and you’re fine and then…”  He trails off, eyes questioning.

“No, that’s not it,” you sigh.  “You just…you make me nervous.”

“I make you nervous?” Bucky asks and you see his gaze shift down to his metal arm.  Your eyes widen.

“No, no, it’s not your arm,” you say quickly.  “God, no.  That’s not what I meant.  I…it has nothing to do with that.”

“So…what, then?” Bucky asks and you take a deep breath.

“You just…” you say.  “When you’re around, I just…I can’t explain it.  I get nervous.”

“How?” Bucky asks, a hint of amusement in his eyes.  You see the smile struggling to spread across his lips and you know that if the conversation continues, you might just admit to that crush that you adamantly denied to Steve.

“I just do, okay?” you say, shaking your head. 

“So it’s a proximity thing?” Bucky asks and you shrug, not trusting yourself to answer.  Which as it turns out, is your downfall.  He moves around the kitchen counter so that he’s standing right in front of you, close enough to touch.  “How about now?”

Every part of your body is going haywire.  Your mind is drawing a blank and your legs aren’t responding to your brain’s frenzied commands to back away.

Just then, you hear familiar chords playing on the radio.  And you forget that this very attractive man is standing in front of you.  You can’t help the grin that crosses your face.  

“You know, doll, I think that’s the first time you’ve ever smiled at me,” Bucky says and you can feel your cheeks redden.  “You should do it more often.”

“I need you to dance with me,” you say, turning up the volume on the radio.

“What?”  It’s Bucky’s turn to be surprised.

“This song,” you say, suddenly regretting opening your mouth.  “Whenever it’s on, I always make Steve dance to it.  But he’s not here.  And you are.  So I need you to dance with me, okay?”

Bucky stares at you, and for a moment, you wonder if it’s too late to crawl into a  hole in the ground.  And then he grabs your hand and starts spinning you around the room.

“What are you doing?” you giggle, laughing as he maneuvers around the room like a mad man.

“I’m dancing,” he says and the smile that graces his lips damn near stops your heart.  You shake your head as he continues to dance, whirling you around with him.  

Your heart is pounding out of your chest, but eventually, you start to relax, enjoying Bucky’s antics and even trying out some moves yourself.  The song ends and you feel a pang of disappointment as Bucky’s hand leaves your own.

“So?” Bucky asks, leaning on the counter next to you.

“So what?” you answer, raising an eyebrow.

“So I have two questions,” Bucky says.  “First, who’s a better dancer?  Me or Steve?”  You laugh and shake your head.

“I don’t think I want to answer that one,” you smile.  “That answer could get me into way too much trouble.”

“Cuz I’m the better dancer,” Bucky says cockily and you punch his shoulder gently.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t need to.”

“What was the second question?”  He stands up and suddenly you’re right back where you left off, before the music came on, his face hovering inches away from yours.

“Do I still make you nervous?” Bucky asks.  And maybe it’s the adrenaline from dancing, making you fearless, but you find yourself leaning in a little closer to him.  

“You think one dance will solve that?” you smile, knowing exactly what you’re doing.  

“I guess we’d better keep dancing,” Bucky smirks, taking your hand in his.

“I guess so.”

Confession

I’m about to be a senior in high school and my friends are tripping because I’ve never dated. I tell them that I have my whole life where I can find open minded boys who actually like me, but they still get mad. All my life I’ve been made fun of for being dark. In middle school boys would call me gorilla. When I started high school I started using makeup, those same boys would compliment me saying “ your pretty, but too dark”. I’ve never met a boy that accepts me, or that is not obsessed with their ‘hoes’. I know good men exist out there but i’m starting to give up. All the boys that hit me up always wanna do the nasty because I have a big butt. Its really annoying and I hope my love life changes. I want someone who actually talks about real life situations and actually has ambition. Someone who isn’t afraid to be seen with his gf who happens to be dark.