my-soul-aches

why do women in dress pattern illustrations look like they’re about five seconds away from DRAMATICALLY DECLARING THEIR LOVE?

#here we see masha- young and untutored in the ways of love#‘o katya!’ she cries 'my very soul aches when you are not by my side! i tell you i could not breathe if you were to leave me!’#katya kisses her just once. very gently.#and then leaves chelyabinsk. never to return#(two years later masha marries a local boy and never lets herself think of what might have been)

it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done
letting myself want
letting my soul ache for you
not noticing how my heart carved itself from my chest and into yours 

because somewhere along the way
I convinced myself
that I was too bruised for you


but, god, saying yes to you
is the easiest word to ever spill from my lips
because even the heavens can’t touch us
when you mark me as yours, knowingly this time

—  learning curve by Abby S

what I say: I’m fine


what I mean: I’m only on the second day of V’s route and Saeran is already breaking my heart. I came into this route with V as my main focus, and he’s still the one I’m aiming to concentrate on, but Saeran being there is also really depressing. It’s morbid how he easily manipulates the MC and weaves a web of lies with ease, but then you give him a gentle compliment regarding his cooking skills or him being warmhearted, you immediately get a genuine, positivie reaction. Saeran is clearly still being drugged and brainwashed at this stage, which is why he is doing all of this, but to see him react so happily to any signs of genuine

appreciation makes my soul ache. This kid has literally never gotten love or affection from anyone except his enstranged brother, and getting it from someone now makes him so surprised and ecstatic. To see him lose his manipulative tendencies and facade in a split second of emotion.. It’s almost too much, I hope he’s happy and reuinted with Saeyoung at the end of the route because he’s kind of stomping on my heart right now

But you don’t really know me
You don’t know half of the story
I’m not okay
And not gonna be, today
I swear I’m not bragging
Do you feel my soul aching?
My hands still tied
I feel so handless
How? They’re there, then How?
I have a breakdown every day or two
Can you live with that, oh I don’t know
I can’t, every new day all I do is carry myself
I don’t think that’s what you deserve
I know you want to give me a hand
But how? When I feel so handless
I feel your hand trying to reach
When you thought your voice was out of reach
I can’t fix it
—  ayamfarag 

me: stumbles across a death fic thats blatantly tagged as deathfic has a warning in the authors note and other multiple points before the actual fic telling me its a deathfic

me: reads it anyways knowing I’m weak and going to suffer

me: and and and they just he died and its so sad how could they do this to me they killed him how could my heart cant take this- *incoherent sobbing*

i don’t think that people understand that when i say “i miss my childhood,” i don’t mean softly going over memories and fondly smiling and sighing over a time gone past. no. that’s not at all what i mean. i mean a demonic ache in the deepest reaches of my soul. an ache of sorrow, of sadness, of anger, of depression, of melancholy. it eats me up every day and it’s the worst kind of emotional torture to be put through, to cry night after night over the state of absolute euphoria, of real happiness, of purity and joy taken away. it’s the most terrible emotion to have. i actively crave that euphoric, joyous feeling every moment of my life where i am conscious and it hurts more and more every second.

it hurts.

[absolutely no cgl, ddlg, mdlb, terf, radfem, or nsfw interaction. this is a personal post that’s okay to reblog- but reblogging onto a porn blog is absolutely insensitive.]

“in fields of cotton, tears brimming, with a heart so empty yet so full all at once. i dance for Harriet. i dance for Emmett. i dance for Martin. for all lives lost. i dance for my sister. i dance for peace. i dance to know what God means by the concept ‘free’. i dance for my mother. i dance for you. i dance for me. i dance for my people. for you, My People are Royalty. And you are Worthy of…”

pieces of eternity

i guess this is how waves sound
when they crash beyond the edge
of my sanity

so late now. this is what you write
when you can no longer make sense
of reality

face down in the dark of the night
my soul aches. my mind disconnects
from majority

you’re a stormy ocean and i never regret
but i regret that you saw me broken –


dancing with the skeletons in my closet


looking at the family picture in a shattered
frame

of my father; eyes red
no longer able to
handle the liquor
damaging his liver

you were my medicine
no. you were everything

you made me a better man

Jimin said that he thinks the phrase love yourself will be extra meaningful for people like him who are too hard on themselves and honestly Jimin is  always so hard on himself more than hard on himself actually, he’s always pressuring and pushing himself into doing his best into his more than best and when getting  creds for doing that he’ll brush it off and bounce the comment over to someone else like no “you’re working harder than me” or “my members are doing more than me” He lays hours upon hours of sleepless nights and tirless day to get routines right especially when it’s about short time management (like special stages or special performances that lay scheduled) and once the day comes and he performs it amazingly he’ll still criticize himself and won’t give himself the creds and will say something like “could’ve been better but it is what it is with such short time management”  he lays down so many hours - so much time practice effort and dedication into his dancing but he never sees the amazing  results he gets from it the solo stages that has the crowds cheering and screaming that gives me goosebumps and brings me to tears for he is so skilled at it there are no words for it but also in singing he’s always trying to get better at it and doesn’t want to disappoint anybody and he even literally gets upset about it for he wants to deliver more than deliver for the fans listening and he tends to get hard on himself and criticize himself and see himself as someone the fans are waiting to deliver but  he really isn’t someone the fans are waiting for he’s deliver time after time sang beautiful covers and sang beautiful songs on his own he even sang the  intro for this comeback and had so many people fall in love and shown what an amazing voice he’s got  he never sees how good he is or the progresses he makes in his singing or in his dancing he’s just constantly trying to get better at it till he’s happy with it but as we all know he really is never happy when it comes to those things  he’s always  pushing himself to his limits god and y'all known he’s the same with his appearance and it’s just makes me sad  to be honest. Jimin is the most skilled dancer there is and one of my favorite singers to exist  he’s skilled as well as talented when it comes to dancing and moves so smoothly and fluently like no bones are preventing him from doing anything and it’ll brings you to tears or gives you the goosebumps watching  him perform or his singing god the high notes and the low notes all of  them sound beautiful coming from him and he sings songs like  lie and house of cards so passionately and beautifully and you can literally see him go all in when singing anything singing the lyrics as well as the emotions in it and sounding so beautiful so beautiful it’s so lovely to listen to him
and it makes me sad that he’s criticizing and being hard on himself about his appearance  for to me he’s the most beautiful man to roam and exist earth literally so beautiful no one is on his level so beautiful he has so many people falling in love just look at the comments on serendipity he’s got everyone falling for him but he doesn’t see it he’s not aware of it and it literally has my heart and soul aching  he’s overall an amazing person that many people look up to especially young idols who look up to him as a dancer and he has so many people in awe of his beauty  and  he’s got a golden heart and a golden soul and he’s an amazing person overall  and it just hurts me that he’ll maybe  look at one of the  member and think he isn’t as good as them or as hard working as them or even as beautiful as them.