my roommate is brutal
  • me, getting ready in the morning:I'm gonna wear a maxi dress today. I'm gonna do it.
  • roommate:Is that a big deal?
  • me:Well I like... never wear anything super feminine, so wearing a dress makes me nervous. But I wanna do it. The only thing is...
  • roommate:It's really low-cut.
  • me:Well yeah, I guess, but--
  • roommate:You've got cleavage.
  • me:Yeah okay true but--
  • roommate:Did you get a tan line?
  • me:??? Yeah, but what--?
  • roommate:Because your boobs are like... GLOWING. THEY'RE SO PALE.
  • me:...I'M LEAVING.
She’s not a vampire. There’s no such thing as vampires. She’s a light averse octagenarian with an extreme hemoglobin deficiency and really good skin.
—  Lola Perry, Carmilla (Web-Series), 1x15 “My Roommate, The Vampire” (2014)