my-roommate

My roommate Tyler Joseph
  • Me: *walks in* "Tyler, who the fuck are these people?"
  • Tyler: ..:welcome to the room of people who have rooms of people that they loved one day:..
  • Me: *pants around* just get them out of here
  • Tyler: ..please don't make any sudden moves
  • Me: DAMMIT TYLER!!
  • Tyler: ..:my friends are heathens take it slow
  • Me: I'm moving out
  • Tyler: ...::you have trust issues, not to mention:..
Sometimes my roommate and I sing duets
  • Roommate: (singing happily) I'm gonna make some frosting, I'm gonna make some frosting
  • Me: (singing louder) gO AaAnD MAKE some frOOOstiiing, GgooO aNd mAKe SOme FRosstIING
  • Roommate: (singing quietly) Shut your fucking mo-outh
My Roommate Joe Trohman

me: did you water the plants
joe: grow trohman
me: do you need a bandaid for that
joe: tOE TROHMAN
me: please shut up
joe: no trohman

,my roommate tyler jøseph

me (on the phone): tyler can you pick me up some chicken breast they should be in aisle 4

tyler: </-|:::áll ẅê ärê íš ãñ íšlé öf flîĝĥtlëšs bīrdš:::|-\>

me: come on tyler, aisle 4, the frozen section

tyler: =;;-ï ám çöld :::çāñ ÿóû ĥëár-;;=

#my roommate tyler jøseph

me: *comes home to find stack of melted CDs in the kitchen sink*

me: Ty wtf where are all my reggae CDs?

tyler: <,:’:,mÿ täšté îñ müšíç ìš ŷøür fåçé,:’:,>

me: oh come on, what were you thinking man?

tyler: >’:,:’ñøbódÿ tĥíñkš ẅĥät Ï tĥîñk’:,:’<

my roommate andy hurley

andy: hey can you take the trash ou-
me: MY CROSSFIT CINNAMON BUN YES CHILD ILYSM YOU TATTOOED LIL GEEK TAP THOSE SKINS TAP THEM YOU LIFT S O MUCH MY VEGAN BABY SO HARDCORE AND STRAIGHT-EDGE THAT’S RIGHT SAVE THE FUCKING BEES ILYSM