Me: Andy what the hell man it’s 5 am. What’s with the noise?
Andy: I gotta do my crossfit
Me: did you even sleep last night??
Andy: I haven’t slept in 5 days. Only crossfit
Me: jfc go to sleep how are you not exhausted
Andy, chanting: crossfit crossfit crossFIT CROSSFIT CROSSFIT
So my one roommate is Hillary Clinton’s nephew. And we were talking about politics today and I mentioned Bernie Sanders. And he immediately went into how much he loves Bernie Sanders and how he’s totally voting for him. And I was like “Yeah I love Bernie too, but isn’t it weird with Hillary being your aunt and all?”
And he just goes, “Eh, aunt Hil’s a little too shifty for me.”
me: *wakes up to All Star being blasted*
me: JES U S CHR IST PET E ST O P
pete: IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN DUDE JUST GO WITH IT, BE THE MEME, JUST DO IT
me: FUCK YOU PETE
pete: I THINK YOU MEAN THANKS PETE
andy: hey can you take the trash ou-
me: MY CROSSFIT CINNAMON BUN YES CHILD ILYSM YOU TATTOOED LIL GEEK TAP THOSE SKINS TAP THEM YOU LIFT S O MUCH MY VEGAN BABY SO HARDCORE AND STRAIGHT-EDGE THAT’S RIGHT SAVE THE FUCKING BEES ILYSM