my-readings

hello! we are bears in trees and we have no idea how to take band photos

we released an album at the end of summer that has a lot of trumpet, shouting, ukulele, adolescent angst, etc called just five more minutes that you can jam here

anyway! we’re gonna go listen to my chemical romance, thanks for reading

anonymous asked:

See? “Evil feminism” that proselytizes KillAllMen exists and is embraced and celebrated. But if in some circumstances I say one word, JUST ONE WORD that women might NOT be perfect and precious and angelic and might actually sometimes be assholes, and people are reaching for pitchforks and crosses to crucify me.

When I was six or seven I found some books on my parents’ bookshelves about understanding your children, and I was fascinated. The books talked about emotions and internal states and desires that children had, and what actions those produced, and it was the first place I’d been exposed to the idea that people had inner lives which you could understand and then interact with them more usefully. They gave me an emotional vocabulary. They helped me make sense of my own head. I read them over and over.

There was an anecdote in one of the books which I still remember vividly. It was about a mother who was cleaning out a chest freezer which had become full of massive sheets of ice. She handed a sheet of ice to each of her kids. “Hers is bigger,” objected the son, and so the mother gave him another one, and “how come he gets two?” demanded the daughter, and so the mother tossed one at her, and after a little whole both kids were standing in waist-high piles of ice they did not want, dancing back and forth because their legs were freezing, screaming and screaming for more because it was intolerable that the other pile be bigger.

They don’t actually want ice, said the book. They want to know that they matter, and the only kind of mattering they are confident of is mattering more than the other person.

___________________________

“I’ll keep embracing evil feminism” obviously reads to me as “well, if the thing I need is evil, I don’t care, it’s mine”. This is often a healthy mindset to have. (If being gay is evil, I don’t care, I will be an evil gay. If being happy is evil, I don’t care, I will evilly be happy anyway.) Reading it as “whatever the worst most abusive thing done in the name of feminism is, I am in favor” is not reasonable. But, of course, there are people who say #KillAllMen, and I want them to be happy too. I don’t think it’s fair or charitable to read anon that way, but if anon is that way, I still unreservedly extend my desire that she have a fulfilling community that isn’t sexist and that affirms her value as a person.

And people strongly objecting to their lives and experiences being mischaracterized are not crucifying you. They’re not overreacting. They are reacting reasonably to wrong ideas which have harmed them, and which are still harming them.

And, like, fundamentally what is going on here is that you need to be confident in a different kind of mattering. You need to have a conception of how you matter and are valuable and deserve to be alive, which isn’t about whether the other pile of ice is bigger, and which you can achieve without just continually asking me to fling ice which you don’t want and which doesn’t help. You’re not alone in this. I think lots of people go into adulthood without much sense of how they matter or how they are valuable except that if they win enough competitions then they’re more valuable than the people who lost those.

The book’s recommendation was that you refuse to engage with competitive questions. “She has more food than me”? Respond “Oh, are you hungry, what do you want to eat?” “Why did he get two?” Respond “how many do you think you would like?” They didn’t phrase it this way but they wanted to teach the skill of thinking ‘what do I need’ instead of ‘am I losing the status game’.

So, like, what I need from you at this point is an answer to that question. What do you need? Which isn’t about what other people are getting? What does a community that affirms your value as a person look like? If that is too much to take on, what do you need in order to get to a place where you could think about that question?

You matter to me. I want you to have a meaningful and sustainable source of affirmation and value and happiness. If I could achieve that by flinging ice (well, blog posts) at whoever is currently objecting that their pile isn’t tall enough, you know what, I totally would, because affirmation and happiness that could be bought with blog posts would be really really great. But I don’t think it’s going to work. Past a point, I don’t even think it’s going to help. No one crucified you. No one yelled at you. People pointed out that your assertions were much stronger than “women are sometimes assholes” and mistaken, and someone told me that something I had said was sexist - which, you know, it was - and lots of people reblogged the post in the hopes it would be meaningful to other men who needed it, and while lots of people thought that you were wrong no one thought it was okay that you were suffering. And you’re pretty miserable about that outcome, and you feel like it proves your point. I think that’s a sign that this isn’t solvable with ice-throwing, because you don’t even want ice.

I hope you can think of something you do want. I want to help you make it happen.

Bts gif reaction to their s/o being cute.

Request: by: @moonbabyboo Hi! May I request a BTS reaction to their s/o unintentionally acting cute when they really want to do something? 💓

(Credits to gif owners)

Omggggg, this is soooo cute, I can’t, soo much fluff, I feel soft, anyways hope you enjoy it, and thank you for loving me and my posts, happy reading~~

Rapmon:

It was another day with namjoon, you were out window shopping, you had promised him that you’d not get anymore rock collectibles that you owned, but the rocks in that shop looked way too good, you just had to,

“Namjoon, I reallllyyy realllly want that rock”

“But you promised not to spend any more of your money on rocks “

You pouted slightly and looked up at him

“But oppa, pleaseeee” You whined, he looked at you and smiled, slightly blushing.

He gently grabbed your cheeks and said

“Fine, Just this once, cause your so freaking cute right now”

Originally posted by rapnamu

Jin:

You really wanted to taste jins food, he was having a whole week off, and in 2 days he’d be going back to the dorm, so he can be closer to the dance studio, yeah sure you wanted him to rest, but you loved his food and you craved it like crazy.

“Jin~~~ pleaseeee” you whined blinking multiple times, and looking long and hard into his eyes

“But I can’t be bothered, can’t we just order something?” He questioned, not fazed Just yet

Your pout fell into a very exaggerated sad face

(☹️ like this emoji, how da f do you describe this face…)

“Y/n don’t look at me like that, you know I can’t resist you…… fineeee”

You lit up once again and yelled

“Yayyyyyy” he smiled and pinched your nose

“Your so cute, only for my princess”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Suga:

Suga would be working, he was overworking to be exact, you hated seeing him stress out so much to the point where it created wrinkles, and he’d stress over that too, causing more wrinkles.

“Oppa, let’s go out for a second, maybe you could get some fresh air?”

“I’m busy, I’ll go in a bit”

“No min yoongi, I mean now”

He looked at you, you never called him by his name, he’d find that extremely cute.

“That was kinda cute~”

You’d scrunch your eyes brows together and smile slightly.

“What?”

“That was cute too, okay let’s go out and get some air before this escalates”

(You know what I mean, wink wink…I’ll go home)

Originally posted by cyyphr

Jhope:

Jhope would be constantly by your side, so when he got up to go sleep by himself, you’d cling onto the end of his white shirt and raise one eyebrow to question where he was going in the middle of the movie,

“I’m going to go sleep princess, you keep watching it okay?”

“Nooooo” You whined,

“Princess I’m really tired”

“Nooooooo, wait for me” You whined,

“I’ll go wait on the bed” “noooooo” you whined once again but this time sticking your bottom lips out, he’d chuckle at your actions, grab the remote turn the tv off and then lift you to your shared bedroom.

Originally posted by jaayhope

Jimin:

Jimin had been sleeping all day long, you didn’t mind it, but he had kicked you out, because he couldn’t sleep properly from your Beauty, you knocked on the door lightly,

“What is it y/n?” He opened the door with a messy hair, making your heart pound,

“I want to sleep too chim, please” you said sticking both your bottom and top lips out, not quite a pout

“Y/n the last time we tried to sleep together, we both didn’t get any sleep”

“But chim, I cant sleep at all without your arms around me”

At that very moment you sounded way to cute to him for him to comprehend

“Fine, but I’m not giving into your requests, I just can’t sleep without your arms around me either”

Originally posted by iweedu

V:

You’d be out grocery shopping with him, he wanted you to be healthy so he banned unhealthy snacks, he literally banned them from himself too, even he wasn’t allowed, but today that chocolate bar on that shelf was screaming your name

“V, can we please get that chocolate?” You asked with a much higher pitched voice than usual

“Y/n you promised to not eat anything unhealthy”

“Yeah But it’s screaming my name, listen, like it’s calling for me” you said with an even higher pitched voice, he started to wonder if that was even possible,

“Fine, but then We’re going on a longer jog tomorrow morning”

“Okay, I’m okay with that” you squeaked smiling like someone just told you, you won the lottery

“Your so cute” he whispered while interlocking his fingers with yours.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Jungkook:

It had been a whole month since the last time you saw your boyfriend, he had been on tour and was so busy that you couldn’t even spend time with him, but when he got to your house the only thing he did was play a stupid game on his phone, you’d snatch his phone out of his hands and get up from on top of his chest and run, but jungkook was obviously faster

“Y/n you can’t just snatch my phone out of my hands”

You looked up at him with puppy eyes,

“Yeah but, I’m the only one that can have your full attention” you said pouting, pretending to be sad from his scolding

“You are the only one that has my full attention”

You looked at him questioningly

“Your attention was on your phone just a few seconds ago”, he started to step closer, he cupped your face and smiled

“Your so cute, i love you” he leaned in and pecked your lips,

“I love you too, oppa”

Originally posted by jkguks

OMG, I FEEL SO BLOOMING FLUFFY, I can’t, I’m like crying and smiling, I look like an idiot, anyways hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.

Love you all ^~^

Originally posted by dammitminsuga

Owls and feathers have always been important symbols to me. They represent my love of reading, writing, and learning; and inspire me to do more of all those things. Day 16 of the November challenge by @jou  

 NOTE: This feather illustration is NOT MINE, it was traced from the coloring book Enchanted Forest by Johanna Basford. 

 Pen: Pilot E95S, Extra Fine (writing) and Eversharp Doric (drawing) Ink: Diamine Oxblood (writing) and Diamine Ancient Copper (drawing) Writing Sounds: text notifications from @chatoyantquill

Gay people are often asked whether they think their children are more likely to be gay than the children of straight people. And gay people often answer that most gay people have straight parents. That usually stumps the questioner, but it doesn’t really answer the question.

I didn’t know, when I was six years old, that there were women who marry women. At the age of thirteen, the idea of my being gay was just unavailable to me. I accepted my lack of enthusiasm for the prospect of dating boys as another sign of being immature and a hopeless nerd. If my mother had been a lesbian, I would have known I had that option, too—that even a working class Italian could be a Dyke.


So, when people ask me whether I think my lesbianism makes it more likely that my daughter will be gay, I just say—“Yes, thank the Goddess.”


[…] To her, being a lesbian means being strong, being smart, running fast, climbing over fences, and riding a bike with no hands.

—  Rose Romano, “La Famiglia—Straight or Gay” from We Are Everywhere: Writings By & About Lesbian Parents (1988).

msdistress said: I saw that civilized werewolves being super competitive when it comes to other packs, and now I can only imagine an AU where (adult) Stiles and Scott are renting a house together, and Derek moves in the same area. And while the McCall pack and the entire Hale pack (Talia, Laura, etc.) are on civilized terms, Scott and Derek just can’t help themselves. And maybe a part of the showing off is actually a way to impress (court) Stiles, as in “My lawn ornaments are much nicer than his!”

So this is kind of that, but kind of not? This is pretty silly :) Happy Halloween!


“You’re not dead,” Stiles says as Scott bangs open the door and shucks off his shoes in the next movement. They hit the wall and then bounce into an ungainly pile in the middle of the hallway that Liam will no doubt trip over when he gets home.

“Nope,” Scott says. He looks confused by that part.

“So… That’s good?” Stiles has pumpkin guts all over his hands, but offers Scott a fist bump anyway.

Scott follows Stiles back into the kitchen and then plops down across from Stiles’s half-finished jack-o-lanterns at the counter. He’s a couple weeks early, but Halloween has to be taken seriously. These are practice pumpkins.

Scott says, “It was weird. I think they’re all models. They force-fed me pie.”

Stiles arches a skeptical eyebrow.

“I mean, the pie was great,” Scott says, face screwed up. “I think they were happy I ate the whole thing?”

Werewolf metabolism, Stiles thinks sourly. He’s getting to that age where he has to watch his beer and pizza intake. It sucks. He says, “I’ll make them brownies,” and then apparently it becomes a thing.

*

Stiles doesn’t know if the Hale pack are actually all models, but they’re definitely taking the supernaturally hot thing to a whole other level.

Scott’s betas are reasonably attractive, sure, but Liam’s the size of a cave troll and Mason’s on this whole hippie-chic kick that makes him look like a train hobo.

Stiles holds out the plate of brownies and tries not to stare at Erica’s boobs. Boyd has the bulging chest of a roman gladiator and Stiles could cut his hands on Isaac’s cheekbones, it’s insane.

Stiles says, “Nice to meet you guys,” and Erica’s lip curls up and her hands hover around the plastic-wrapped plate like it’s made of poison and-or possibly oatmeal. He waggles the plate back and forth. “Promise they’re wolfsbane free.”

And then Jackson fucking Whittmore comes swanning down the staircase and Stiles says, “You’ve got to be shitting me. Jackson?”

“Stilinski,” Jackson says with a scowl.

“Lydia told us you got eaten by a giant lizard.”

Jackson scowls harder. “Fuck off.”

Stiles would like to say that the addition of Jackson makes the pack less appealing, but despite having the personality of a canned ham, Jackson still looks like he was carved out of marble. Balls.

And then someone says, “Do I smell chocolate?” from behind Stiles and he definitely does not jump three feet into the air, but it’s a close call.

He flinches and spins around and says, “Fuck my life.”

The hottest mountain man Stiles has ever seen is frowning at him and Stiles wants to bury his entire body in his beard. He wants to weasel his way under that soft-looking Henley and lick his collarbones. Stiles is ninety-nine percent sure this is Alpha Derek Hale, even though Scott had failed to prepare him for the way Derek’s eyes are eating Stiles’s soul.

Stiles wordlessly holds out the plate of brownies.

Derek takes them with a resigned silence. No one else is saying anything either, and the back of Stiles’s neck is starting to prickle with unease. Are they going to eat him now? They’d moved into town so Liam and Mason could go to the local college, expecting some kind of resistance, territorial posturing, possible brawl for dominance, but Scott had been tirelessly optimistic—even more so since the pie eating thing.

Stiles slinks around Derek, hands up. He says, “I’ll just, uh… leave now,” and backs down the sidewalk so he can see any kind of attack coming. He’s got a taser in his back pocket and he’s not afraid to use it.

The Hale pack all watch him with narrow, calculating eyes and Jackson gives him the finger.

Stiles thinks that if this is the way they react to brownies, he’s going to bake them a motherfucking cake.

Keep reading

something i don’t see a lot in tumblr’s rhetoric about mental illness and recovery is a distinction between recovery through suppression and conformity and recovery through coping.

suppression and conformity is not recovery.  it implies that you are simply repressing the symptoms of your mental illness or disorder and causing yourself more pain.  suppression implies that you are ignoring your mental illness, not acknowledging your symptoms, and conformity implies that you are putting on a neurotypical facade.  so many people assume that’s the end goal of therapy and medication (should people choose to do that) or general recovery. that people are trying to “cure” you.  it’s where i think a lot of the “i shouldn’t need to get better” rhetoric comes from.

but that’s not what recovery is.  recovery is coping.  it’s learning about yourself and how you tick.  it’s learning to recognize and acknowledge symptoms so you can better understand them and, ultimately, not let them control you.  it’s understanding that being “wired” differently isn’t a bad thing, but it can make things harder, and learning to recognize those distinctions and address them so you can make your life easier.  it’s recognizing that for some people, therapy and medication are the path to coping, and that the end goal of them is to make that learning and self-discovery process easier so that those people can do it independently in the long run.

recovery is not changing yourself to fit the world.  recovery is learning how to look the world in the eye and say “i now know how to coexist with you now.  i now know how to thrive.”

Queers hanging out in public were once considered a staple of West Village street culture. Yet within the climate of the Giuliani/Bloomberg “quality of life” crusade, the presence of gender insubordinate young Black and Latino queer youth, as opposed to white men with moustaches, is often viewed as a problem. […]

The crackdown is part of a campaign designed to privatize, sanitize, and control public spaces such as the piers throughout New York City. It began in 1994 as a cornerstone of Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s pledge to clean up New York City. Existing “quality of life” legislation falls under Article 240, Title N, Offenses Against Public Order, Public Sensibilities, and the Right to Privacy. Such “offenses” include “rioting, unlawful assembly, criminal anarchy, disorderly conduct, harassment, loitering, public intoxication, and criminal nuisance in a public space” (McClean, 2002). [… In 1995] the New York City Council passed a zoning law intended to restrict and shut down adult-use spaces such as strip clubs, bookstores, video stores, and movie houses. Mayor Giuliani hoped to shut down almost every adult business that dealt with sexual materials or entertainment.


When quasi-private interior spaces targeted by the zoning law were shut down, people with nowhere else to go moved outside. But visible signs of public sexual culture were further targeted with the police carrying out undercover sting operations, resulting in stepped-up arrests of men charged with indecent exposure, soliciting sex, and other “lewd” acts. Some were based on entrapment, while others were wrongful arrests. During one three-day sting by the Port Authority police in 1997, ninety men were arrested in the men’s bathroom in the PATH station concourse of the World Trade Center (Schindler, 1997).


Adonis elaborated: “If two heterosexuals were in the park making out and the police walked by, they wouldn’t say anything. If two homosexuals were doing things, they would say something.” Many of the “quality of life” initiatives appeared to specifically target queers. Selective enforcement of a Prohibition-era cabaret law, zoning ordinances, a ban on dancing, and fire codes were used to produce a constant flow of legal assaults narrowing the types of clubs and bars functioning in Manhattan. Before summer of 1997 some seventeen gay businesses, nine theaters, and eight clubs—including five in close proximity on Fourteenth Street—were closed for violations of the state health code banning oral, anal, or vaginal sex on business premises. That summer, fifty queer businesses faced some fourteen hundred inspections (Schindler, 1997). Many clubs could not endure the legal barrage and were forced to close their doors.


One such space was the Two Potato, a bar at the corner of Christopher and Greenwich Streets, close to the piers. […] L.P. and several others I interviewed recalled the Two Potato as a “legendary” gathering place for queer and transgender people of color. Like the West Village in general, the Two Potato provided a refuge when the AIDS epidemic hit. “At night people could spread out to Fourteenth Street and over to Two Potato on the water and just drink and wild out and have sex, and feel like we were still normal,” L.P. recalled. Yet the feeling of safety engendered within the queer spaces of the West Village was placed in jeopardy by phobias accompanying the epidemic. As L.P. explained, “We’d have to do a lot of fighting because there was a lot of prejudice.”


The pattern is simple enough. Moral guardians use fears about the AIDS crisis to justify restricting access to spaces such as the piers and Two Potato, supposedly in the name of community health and “the children.” What unfolds is a general “not in my backyard” thinking stirred up by the “quality of life” campaign. The result is simple. “He [Giuliani] used the excuse of AIDS. He was saying that [public sex] was a way to spread the virus, but responsible adults who knew about it used condoms. They were consenting adults,” Adonis explained.


[…]


Yet as the AIDS era wore on, anxieties about the epidemic coincided with countless other cultural phobias and inequalities. L.P. explained that just getting off the train at Fourteenth Street could be an ordeal. “If you got off the train and you looked gay, you might get beat up by a group of kids. ‘Faggot, we don’t want you in New York.’ And the police were no help. The cops would stand there and watch because they were in agreement that this was the gay man’s disease and that they didn’t want to get any bodily fluids on them or get involved. Let the faggot get what he deserves.” For L.P., navigating from the Bronx to the Village “was like going through a gauntlet.” Between the antivagrancy laws, a social purity crusade described as a “quality of life” campaign, and AIDS hysteria, L.P.—like many other queer youth—engaged in a struggle against what amounted to a panic over queer space.


[…]


In August 2001, after years of “quality of life” complaints, the Two Potato’s liquor license came up for review prior to renewal, and the bar was closed (McLean, 2002). For L.P. and countless others, the impact of the club’s closure and the subsequent erection of fences at the piers was immediate. “It made it very hard for us to function,” L.P. recalled. “You couldn’t hang out by the water anymore. They were doing construction on the highway so you couldn’t really go down there.”


[…]


Sylvia Rivera struggled for over thirty years to force the city to accept and protect the right of transgender people to walk or work in public space. In many ways, the youth who continue to struggle for queer spaces are working from the same vantage point. Queer space is about creating room for the spectacle of difference as opposed to assimilating sameness. As long as autonomous zones pop up, the possibility remains.

— 

Benjamin Shepard, “Sylvia and Sylvia’s Children: A Battle for a Queer Public Space,” in That’s Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation (2008), ed. Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

some context people don’t realize is their inheritance when they panic over lgbt sexuality

something i notice reading fanfics and doujinshis lately (BTW i love both couples (BOTH ARE MY OTP). This is not for throwing shades at bakudeku it just something i start noticing. I know there is dounjinshi’s that are cute)