my-new-band-name

About cophine in OB 5x5: A lot of people have been very excited about the cophine scenes & kisses, and it’s obvious why. TMas & EBro are amazing actors and Helen Shaver is a great director. The emotion and charisma pours off the screen. Add to that the long-standing-and-suffering of cophine fans who wanted to see them talking and kissing again, the general attractiveness factor and the desire for queer people to see queer romantic scenes at a similar level as straight ones (which we still haven’t seen here if you consider heterosexual sex scenes in the show) and you get a lot of excitement. 

I do get the problems people had with it, however. The use of the word “consent” when talking about how Delphine does things without telling Cosima was a very poor one. Consent is specifically used in contexts of power in relationships and sex and as a concept that must be learned and central to respecting and not violating others. It’s frequently used in discussions of rape culture and sexual assault, and as such has become something of a trigger word. At best, we can hope the writers were somewhat ignorant of that usage, rather than trying to make some sort of anti-liberal dialectical point. I think a number of other words or phrases could have been used that didn’t upset people, but I do imagine that it was an unfortunate mistake in trying to express that Delphine doesn’t tell Cosima everything and sometimes acts against her wishes in trying to protect the clones. Delphine can be shady, but usually in service of getting or keeping Cosima and the Ledas out of trouble they would normally get themselves into by being pig-headed and sassy rather than stragegic, even if she (and we) kind of love them for it. (P. S. : Cosima & the Ledas is my new band name. 😉) 

Overall, however, I’d agree with folks who feel the 5x5 scenes were lovely but not without their problems. The flashback to right after Cos confessed she was sick was an interesting retcon, in that it made them coming to understand and accept each other better in s05, but, as others have pointed out, makes Cos look even more obnoxious during s03. If she knew Delphine was protecting her, all the less reason for her dalliance with Shay, her brattiness in general, and her refusal to do important things like give urine samples, go into work to develop the cure, or tell Delphine about Ethan Duncan’s book. Sure, people can get swept away by doubts and emotions, but gurrrrrrl… 

I don’t think the scenes were perfect, nor were they evidence of a toxic relationship, per se. After all, however many individual and group head canons we viewers have constructed, in the actual context of the show we are looking at very strange, complicated and stressful circumstances over a brief period of time. That their relationship can be strictly defined, much less in the terms of a “normal” relationship, is doubtful. 

All of which is to say, enjoy it if you want, or dislike the ship, if that’s what you feel. We’re all bringing our own subtext to something that is more of a sketch than a fully realized depiction of individuals or their relationships. We can disagree without having to turn it into an argument or wondering aloud if people who don’t see it our way are mentally deficient. And, human beings being complex, we can even enjoy something and have issues with it at the same time. 

So, get yourselves together, you silly tits! 😉

Hello, new followers!

There certainly are a lot of you!

So this post that I wrote a long time ago suddenly gained a lot of traction, and between when I went to bed around 1 AM and when I woke up around 11 AM (ahhh, Sundays), I gained almost 100 followers; in the last 3 days, that post has gone from 1000 notes to (as of last count) about 23KA LOT.

Wow.

I used to have an introduction post, but it’s kind of outdated, and there are an awful, awful lot of you who probably only know me from one of two or three posts. So… hi!

Radfems, TWERFs and SWERFs are explicitly not welcome here, and I do not want my family stories or life used for your politics. I block all three categories, full stop. Radfems & TWERFs/TERFs deny the essential humanity of myself and my daughter and if you self-ID as one of those, please save us all the trouble and just don’t. If you’ve reblogged one of my posts and added something about how this proves one of your points, please pretend you respect other people and take it down.

If you are here because you don’t understand the post about the dog that attacked me, or its point, either legitimately or because you don’t really want to get it & want to argue with me about it, tell me I need to get counseling for my fear of dogs, tell me I’ve compared men to dogs, please go read seananmcguire explaining the post to someone who already sent me an ask about it. That pretty much covers why the post exists. Also you should buy and read Seanan’s books.

Also, also, all of the stories about @seananmcguire​ you’ve heard are probably true if they’re bizarre or funny. Especially the one about the lizard and the one about the frog. 

If you’re here to tell me my views on asexuality & the queer community are wrong or that stuff I lived through & you weren’t born yet for is ‘ahistorical,’ go away. This blog is explicitly anti-gatekeeping for the Not-Straight Club.

If you’re here about the post about my great-grandmother, I kind of don’t have it in my heart to answer all the sad family stories. If you shared a family story on that post, thank you. If you want to use it to make some sort of gross radfem point about marital rape or some comment about how my great-granddad should have learned to pull out, I’m gonna block you without answering you. Don’t be gross.

If you’re here about the post about spoon theory, I ended up so grossed out by a small group’s insistence on gatekeeping (yeah, anti-gatekeeping is kind of a thing for me when it comes to marginalized groups, who knew?) that I no longer call myself a spoonie and use ‘energy currency’ instead of spoons.

If you’re here about the tiny house post, please read the notes, I’m not gonna explain it again.

Anon is never turned on, but if you ask me not to publish an ask, I won’t. Please remember to put that in the ask.

So here’s some stuff you should know about me:

I’m older than large portions of Tumblr, and in a fair number of cases I’m probably twice your age or more. If that’s a problem, I really am not offended if you aren’t cool with interacting with me. Age can be a powerful unbalancer in social relationships. I am going to get annoyed if you start 'explaining’ stuff I lived through to me and insisting you know my history better than I do.

Since it bears repeating one more time: I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or ace-exclusionary queers. I’ve been Out for 26 years & I really have no desire to argue my lived experience with anyone. I explicitly reject the terms SGA & MGA.

My immediate family consists of my spouse adhocavenger, my teenage daughter @mistresskabooms and my stepdaughter, my adopted son scribbleowl (who lives across the continent from me), and adhoc and I’s 3 dogs, hereinafter referred to as BigDog (Lex), SmallDog (Kusto), and Captain America, aka Cap, aka Pudding Butt, who is actually the tiniest of them, but SmallDog has been called SmallDog by our family for like ten years now. 

My extended clan includes @programmerdad and @sperari and their lovely kidlets, who I adore. I love @programmerdad a lot and am lucky that DadHoc and I have such a lovely boyfriend. 

I have other adopted internet kids. They’re great. I’m not tagging them unless they give me the okay to do so, because I don’t know if they want me to say so!

My sister is judicialmistrangementorder & you should also follow her blog imamusiciannotafemalemusician. I will fucking fite you if you lay a finger on her.

I’ve been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider.  

I am a Jewish convert in progress. I will be glad to talk to you about my conversion process and progress but I am not an expert on Judaism. Please do not approach me as if I were one!

In this house we do intersectional feminism, we don’t do transmisogyny, we recognize asexuality as valid and part of LGBT and no I won’t argue about that no really, we recognize that biphobia, transphobia/transmisogyny and acephobia are all real and not just subsets of homophobia. In this house we don’t do antisemitism or Islamophobia, and we’re thoughtful & careful about our interaction with other cultures, because we recognize White people have to be actively careful to manage the harm we can do. This goes like quadruple for interaction with Native culture.

In this house Black Lives Matter, and if you don’t understand why I have to say that, please click here and listen at least 20 times on loop. If you don’t understand after that, I can’t help you. If you tell me All Lives Matter I shall send you to bed without supper and you can think about what you’ve done.

In this house we try to stay in our lanes & we understand call-outs while being aware of the toxic parts of call-out culture. Be cool to teenagers: you were one, and yes, the shit you said was just as stupid. You don’t win points for browbeating a teenager over an idea, you just look like a jerk.

If you screw up and you say something that hurts someone, say you’re sorry, and try not to do it again. It’s not that hard! Don’t tell them they shouldn’t be hurt. This goes double if it was an accident. “I didn’t know that was offensive, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll be more mindful in the future.” See how easy that is? That’s how we do in this house.

I’m bi/pansexual, genderfluid (or non-binary, still unsure which label I like better, so yeah, it’s cool to be questioning at any age), disabled, neurodiverse, and don’t want pity or to hear how sorry you are for either of those things. Being autistic is just fine, and it didn’t happen because I am vaccinated. I have PTSD and GAD, and I live with both of them. They’re terrible roommates but I’ve got used to them. I’d like it if people would just stop throwing shade at the invisibly ill when we park in handicapped spots – I’m missing part of my spine, for fuck’s sake – and playing Oppression Olympics will get you stern looks and no dessert.

In this house we do nerd culture, there are no fake geek girls, and we understand that women invented masked superheroes (The Scarlet Pimpernel), science fiction (Mary Shelley), the modern novel (Jane Austen), dystopia fiction (Mary Shelley again), computer programming (Ada Lovelace and the ENIACs, which is my new band name), and got Star Trek on the air (Lucille Ball). 

If I didn’t cover it, assume if it involves being a jerk or punching down, I’m not okay with it. 

If it involves dogs being adorable, otters, mermaids, spiders, most of the major fandoms Tumblr loves (I can’t get into Supernatural, sorry, I tried), or people doing awesome shit, I am definitely here for that. 

I am a Social Justice Rogue. My points tend to be sharp and driven home when you’re not expecting it.  Also I might steal your powers via touch. I will neither confirm nor deny that. 

Originally posted by emmortals

If I get enough XP I think I’ll dual-class to Bard.

@hypoallergeniccuddles​ thinks I’m secretly Mrs. Weasley.

That may be true also. If so, please remember what happens when you fuck with Molly’s children.

Originally posted by bellatrixobsessed1

Welcome. Supper is at seven, the Wizard Home will make a room for you if you need it.

I’ve been under the impression that it was Thursday all day and I missed face day. Much to my chagrin, it is still Wednesday. So here I am, GPOYWing in the bedroom right before I get in my jammies.

Dimples and crows feet, my new band name.

i blocked the fuck out of this anon obviously but this is the funniest message i’ve gotten in a long time. notable:

-“prancing”
-“you would never have gotten aids”
-“heterosexual in sheep’s clothing” aka my new band name