my-mother-is-hilarious

anonymous asked:

Same anon. Okay yo so like I could not say cows as a kid. It was "moo moo coos" or I would LOUDLY MOO AT THEM. So we're walking around the countryside with some friends and I saw cows. Like. Real cows up close and I let out the loudest MOOOOOO and scared the SHIT out of everyone, got away from the group, got in the pasture, and a few cows came up to me and let me pat them. My mother thought it was hilarious and then was like "We don't know them" and let me say goodbye to my moo moo coo friends

u mustve been a cow in another life……

Mother Watches Consumed.

Mum: “Why is Carol crying?”
Me: “…Rick banished her…”
Mum: “What a bastard…”
Mum: 😤
Mum: “How could he just do that? He obviously knows the dangers of this world…such a wanker.”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Where are Daryl and Carol going?”
Me: “Following that car, hoping to find Beth.”
Mum: “Oh…I hope they find her, she’s only a little girl bless her.”
Me: “She’s 18…”
Mum: “And you’re 22, your problem? You’ll always be my little girl, no matter how old you are…to me, she’s still a little girl.”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Where are they now?”
Me: “Temporary housing, for victims of abuse…”
Mum: “Oh yeah, that’s right…her husband was a bastard…”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Oh my god, they’re on the bed!”
Mum: …..
Mum: …..
Mum: “Oh what, they didn’t kiss?!”
Me: “I thought you shipped Carick more than you do Caryl?!”
Mum: “Rick was a bastard, he kicked her out…can’t be dealing with that!”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Isn’t Daryl a gentleman, dealing with the child walker…”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Oh my god, who’s following them?”
Me: “Noah…”
Mum: “Who’s Noah?”
Me: “Oh uhm, he was at a hospital where Beth is…she helped him escape.”
Mum: “Aww, how cute!”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Walkers in tents…this scene is pretty ‘in-tents’…”
Me: 😒
Mum: “Get it? 'In-tents’…'intense’…”
Me: “Yes, I got it ma…”
____________________________________

Mum: “They’re so married…”
Me: “Carol and Daryl?”
Mum: “Yeah…he’s so fucking flirting…”
Me: “He told her that piece of art looks like it was done by a dogs arse…”
Mum: “Exactly, flirting…I’m 44 years old Hannah, I’ve seen all various types of flirting…Daryl saying that isn’t the worst, believe me…”
Me: 😅
____________________________________

Mum: “Oh my god…he took their weapons…what are they going to do?”
Me: “Just watch…”
Mum: “I can’t, I’m nervous…”
Me: 😑
____________________________________

Mum: “They really getting in to a van that’s hanging over a bridge?”
Me: “Ayeeee….”
Mum: “Crazy bastards…”
Mum: …..
Mum: …..
Mum: “HOLY FUCK get back in the van! Does Daryl get bit? Is he going…no, phew…no WAIT! They’re going to go over?! Holy…aww look, they’re HOLDING HANDS…”
Me: “Calm down….”
Mum: “Fuck me, what a drop…I’m glad they’re okay!”
Mum: “He’s helping her…he just pulled her closer…they’re so married…”
Me: 😏
____________________________________

Mum: “Did he just push that walker…please don’t tell me Carol gets…oh no, wait, Daryl rescuing his wife…awww, he’s helping her up!”
Me: “You’re such a fangirl…”
Mum: “They’re cute…”
Mum: …..
Mum: “Oh, Daryl’s not happy…he isn’t really going to leave him to die…is he?”
Me: “Just watch…”
Mum: “….ahh, knew he wouldn’t…”
Me: 👍
____________________________________

Mum: “Oh look, they now know Beth is there! Do they get her in this episode?”
Me: “There’s like three minutes left…”
Mum: “Oh, that went quick…”
Mum: …..
Mum: …..
Mum: “HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Why didn’t you tell me Carol gets hit by a car?! WHY?! Oh my god, look at Daryl…he’s devastated! GO GET HER DARYL! Oh, is she okay? She doesn’t die, does she?!”
Me: “Breathe…”
Mum: “But they haven’t even shagged yet, she can’t die…”
Me: “I’m so done with you…” ✋😂

Coco, how was your first impression with Velvet's parents? Velvet, what about yours with Coco's parents? (Asked by segashark)
  • Velvet, laughing a little: Uh oh...here we go.
  • Coco, pacing back and forth waving her hands: I /swear/ I didn't mean to make a joke about your butt it's just butt and buns but also rabbit and buns and just I didn't mean for it to get all awkward and oh god I am still embarrassed every time we visit.
  • Velvet, laughing: My mother found it hilarious!
  • Coco, freezing in her tracks and forming a thousand yard stare: But your father...oh god I feared for my life.
  • Velvet, with a smile: On the other hand. Coco's parents were absolutely wonderful, such lovely people.
  • Coco, shaking herself back to normal, and rubbing the back of her head with a laugh: Yeah, aha. My dads are great.
GIF overload

Rules: answer this with at least 1 GIF that represent  you and tag 5 of your followers.

I was tagged by @neopixiesims, and here goes that one gif that is truly and utterly represents me irl. I actually do this a lot. Like all the time. Even to my mother. She finds it hilarious. Today my friends and I even decided on my headstone inscription: “She was good, kind, and funny but far from delicate”.

I tag @beverlyallitsims, @simsomedia, @mysimblruniverse, @tinwhistletoo, and @quiddity-jones. Have fun, guys!

OKAY BABIES BUT I SAW LADY BIRD TONIGHT AND IT WAS EVERYTHING I FEEL LIKE THE COMPOSITION OF THIS POST WILL BE SCATTERED LIKE MY USUAL POSTS BUT DAMN THE MOVIE WAS FUCKIN AMAZING. IT REALLY MADE ME WANNA HUG MY MOTHER AFTER WARDS. IT WAS HILARIOUS, CHARMING, WITTY, CLEVER AND SAD AT PARTS. VERY HEARTFELT. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. AND IT WAS ALL TOO REAL AND RELATABLE. I KNEW IT WOULD BE GREAT BUT IT EXCEEDED MY EXPECTIONS!!!! THE WHOLE CAST WAS FANTASTIC. SAOIRSE RONAN WAS A STAR THAT SHINED SO FUCKING BRIGHT. SHE WAS SO GOOD. I COULD REALLY EMPATHIZE AND FEEL WHAT HER CHARACTER WAS GOING THROUGH. SHE WAS SO FUNNY THO. I LAUGHED OUT LOUD SO MUCH DURING THIS. ALSO THE FACT THAT I GREW UP CATHOLIC (im not religious anymore) AND THAT THEY WERE AT A CATHOLIC PRIVATE SCHOOL MADE IT EVEN MORE RELATABLE AND KINDA FUNNY. IT ALSO MADE ME VERY NOSTALGIC. LAURIE METCALF WAS SO GOOD AS LADY BIRD’S MOM. LUCAS HEDGES WAS AN ADORABLE LITTLE NUGGET OF JOY. HE WAS SO CUTE AND IT WAS GREAT SEEING HIM IN A ROLE THAT WASN’T AS HEAVY OR DEPRESSING AS MANCHESTER BY THE SEA BUT LIKE HIS STORY ARC IN LADYBIRD WAS ALSO KINDA SAD. BUT HAPPY TOO. THEY WERE CUTE TOGETHER BUT WHEN HE ADMITTED HE WAS SORRY AND GAY AND SCARED AND SHE COMFORTED HIM!!! I CRIED IT JUST REALLY HIT ME HARD. IM STILL GOING THROUGH THAT. UGH HE WAS SUCH A SWEETHEART I WANTED TO HUG HIM. THEN BEANIE FELDSTEIN WAS SO CUTE AS THE BEST FRIEND I LOVED HER FRIENDSHIP WITH LADYBIRD SO MUCH. AND OF COURSE MY BABY TIMMY!!!!! OH HONEY HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD ON THE BIG SCREEN IT REALLY MADE ME CRAVE MORE OF HIM. ASIDE FROM TIMMY LOOKING EXTRA SEXY I REALLY ENJOYED HIM AS THE INDIFFERENT ASSHOLE FUCKBOY MUSICIAN WHO WAS DEALING WITH HIS OWN SHIT BUT WAS ALSO SO PRETENTIOUS AND RESPECTIVELY ANNOYING. BUT HE WAS SO SMOOTH AND CHARMING AND SO BAD IN SUCH AN ATTRACTIVE WAY. SEEING HIM SMOKE CIGS AND READ BOOKS ALL ALONE BUT STILL BE THE COOL BAD BOY. I LOVED IT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I NEED CMBYN NOW. ANYWAY ALL IN ALL AN AMAZING FILM. IM GLAD I COULD SEE IT OPENING NIGHT WOW IT WAS SUCH A LOVELY EXPERIENCE THAT REALLY RESONATED WITH ME. LADY BIRDS NEED TO ESCAPE HER SUBURBS AND DULL LIFE TO EXPERIENCE SOMETHING NEW AND SCARY ALL WHILE NAVIGATING SENIOR YEAR AND HER STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM UGH. MY HEART. DEFINITELY GOING TO SEE IT AGAIN SOON. BYE

Ghost Gun Post-Ep

Hey guys. Here’s a stupidly quick post-ep because I just needed there to be something out there. It’s not very good but it was quick so, there you have it. Mostly it’s for @inbetween-the-moon-and-you because she’s my fangirl buddy when I watch and it was a rather long message to her that bore this fic. I hope it’s not too shit.

His palpable relief lingers in the silence between them until he can’t take the lack of sound anymore. She hasn’t said an actual word since she opened her eyes and he’s not sure if it’s a side effect of the paralysis or a result of just having awoken from a weeks long coma. Maybe it’s a mental thing, maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s something else entirely. Whatever it is, he can’t think about it and the quiet is giving him far too much space to think and so he does what he does best.

Keep reading

My sister was talking to my mom about Supernatural and how she got caught up so she could talk to me about it. Ma says, “I don’t know if I’m really there yet.” Sister, being confused, asked where there was. 

Turns out I ship everyone on this show SO HARD that my mother thinks it’s a show about gay angels. Anna, Cas, Gabriel, she thinks everyone is gay on this show and all they do is talk about how hard it is to be gay and an angel dating humans while also killing monsters. 

She fell all over herself talking about how she accepts me and my lifestyle but she’s not ready to watch gay TV and I’m dying right now for two reasons.

My actual favorite part of the show is the bromance and I thought I talked about that mostly… but apparently not?

Lmfao, I love Ammi :3
  • Ammi: "That Nicki Minhaaaaaj woman"
  • Me: "Not Minhaaj, Ma.. Minaj"
  • Ammi: "Haan, jo bhi hai (translation: 'yeah, whatever she is') she looks like Lady GaGa trying to be a black woman.
  • Me: "..Ammi yaar"
  • Ammi: "Mein jhoot nahin bolti" (I don't say lies) *grabs cookie from the table and walks back into the kitchen*