my-mommy

  • Me:Mom, I think I love her..
  • Mom:I know honey
  • Me:No I mean like...she's my eternal companion..
  • Mom:I think she's a perfect eternal companion for you. She's quite a girl
  • Me:So you approve?
  • Mom:Of course. She's by far the cutest girl you've been with. And of course she's a good person. She's great
  • Me:I'm gonna marry her one day mom
  • Mom:I know, personally I think blue would compliment her eyes and skin tone better than lavender. Also, be sure to-
  • Me:
  • Mom:
  • Me:
  • Mom:You know what, I'll just plan your wedding
  • Me:Sounds good!
  • Mom:You're wearing a dress.
  • Me:Damn

For as long as I can remember, my mother has always had a love of roosters. She grew up with a chicken coop in her backyard, and she still loves the animals to this day. 

Today, at the store, she picked up a set of dish towels that had roosters on them. I make a face. She turns to me and says, “What do I like the most?”

I replied, “Cocks.”

I shit you not, I’ve never seen that woman so proud 

My mom, brother, and I were all in the kitchen and she was eating Sour Cream & Onion Lay’s and very seriously said “I need to tell you guys something” and we get worried and ask what it is and she stares us in the eye and says

“I love these goddamn potato chips.”