my-lug

The Wit of PG Wodehouse

“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.”

“I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

“She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.”

“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”

“A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life’s gas-pipe with a lighted candle.”

“Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

“As for Gussie Fink-Nottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.”

“This is a bit steep, Jeeves!”
“Approaching the perpendicular, sir.”

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy’s Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day’s work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city’s reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”

“I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”

“There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottke going about in sea boots.”

“A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.”

“At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”

“This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.”

“Like so many cows, it lacked sustained dramatic interest.”

“It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can’t help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.”

“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”

“Out on the course each morning you could see the representatives of every nightmare style that was ever invented. There was the man who seemed to be attempting to deceive his ball and lull it into a false security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard. There was the man who wielded his mid-iron like one killing snakes. There was the man who addressed his ball as if he were stroking a cat, the man who drove as if he were cracking a whip, the man who brooded over each shot like one whose heart is bowed down by bad news from home, and the man who scooped with his mashie as if he were ladling soup.”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“What ho!” I said.
“What ho!” said Motty.
“What ho! What ho!”
“What ho! What ho! What ho!”
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

“She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say ‘when’.”

“I always advise people never to give advice.”

“If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.”

“It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.”

“I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.”

“If he had a mind, there was something on it.”

“The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”

“Jeeves lugged my purple socks out of the drawer as if he were a vegetarian fishing a caterpillar out of his salad.”

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”

“He resembled a minor prophet who had been hit behind the ear with a stuffed eel-skin.”

“I don’t suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.”

“Before my eyes he wilted like a wet sock.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself 'Do trousers matter?’ ”
“The mood will pass, sir.”

“I have no doubt that you could have flung bricks by the hour in England’s most densely populated districts without endangering the safety of a single girl capable of becoming Mrs. Augustus Fink-Nottle without an anaesthetic.”

“It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn’t.”

It’s not always the sea trying to call me home.
Sometimes it’s the sky. Sometimes it’s your voice
in a dark room and my stumbling feet that can’t
seem to reach you in time. I ate strawberries for
the first time in months and I swear they taste
sweeter than you ever could have. So maybe
this is forgiveness, or maybe it’s just acceptance.
Either way it’s getting too heavy to lug around
my heart and your guilt. So here’s a shrine of
daisies, here’s my hands wrapped in velvet.
Here’s your final resting place. A graveside
for the pulp of heartache you turned me into.
Nothing is tugging me off my feet or stealing
my air. I’m home, and it feels softer than you
ever could have.
—  HOME, angelea l.
Just once // SHAWN MENDES

“God, just once could you be here for me? Once. Thats all I’m asking,” I cry, my hands flying into the air. 

“I’ve always been there for you,” He says, one hand running through his messy curls.

“May I remind you last month, dinner, Michelles- 7pm? Ring any bells?” I scowl.

“I was at the studio, you know how I get after a long day writing,” Shawn turns away like he’s going to walk off.

“I texted you 3 hours before!” the anger in me uncurled, blinding me to any other emotions. “Then the meeting with my parents! We barely see them and they wanted to meet up with us and where were you?” 

He shoots me a regretful glance. “Getting drinks with the boys,” Shawn murmurs.

“Damn right you were,” I cry again, my arm flying out, knocking the wall, pain shooting up my wrist. “Shoot,” I whisper, rubbing the area to try and soothe it. 

“Baby, are you o-” He begins to ask stepping towards me. 

“Stop,” the word hangs in the air, silence engulfing us. I sigh. “Every award show, as many concerts as I can, I’m always there- cheering you on,” I look up at him. The sight of him made my stomach clench in a way that made me want to throw up. Pain from his mistake, was clear in his eyes.

“I know you are, I love that you are there for me,” He tries to say but I cut him off again.

“Then can you understand how much it meant to me, for you to be at university as I graduated? I looked for you!” my eyes began to water and I knew that soon I would become a fountain of tears. 

“When I was waiting for my diploma and I couldn’t find you I just thought ‘Maybe Shawn’s just the late, the parking was pretty bad!’” Here came the tears. “Then it got later and it was time for my year to line up and I still couldn’t see you anywhere so I just blamed it on ticket issues, or you couldn’t find which hall we were in,” I finish in a sob, my arms wrapping around my waist trying to provide a sense of comfort from the isolation I was feeling. I meet Shawn’s eyes again and it does nothing to cease my crying. 

“That wasn’t the worst part- the worst was walking across the stage and having to stare out into an audience, filled with strangers, and not being able to identify a single person who came to see you,”

I turn away, pressing my back against the wall, sliding down till I’m seated. 

“Y/N” Shawn whispers, not knowing how to approach the situation. The distance hadn’t done anything good for our relationship. It made it worse. Provided a void I didn’t know how to fix.

“After the ceremony I walked out,” I hiccup, my voice raspy after my crying episode. “Everyone was taking pictures with their family or friends or at least someone. I waited again. Hoping that maybe you were just seriously late and you would at least show up to take a photo with me in my robes before I had to return them,” I stare across the room. 

“I waited for at least an hour. You didn’t show. I returned the robes. Got in my car. Drove back home.” I shrug my shoulders as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. My teary, red eyes lock with his watery ones.

“You were here of course, watching TV, Should have guessed,” I say sarcastically, pulling myself from the ground and trying to appear stronger then what I felt inside. 

“Baby I swear I completely forgot- I never meant to miss you graduate,” He pleads reaching out to grab one of my hands. I tug my hand out his grasp.

“But you did, you always do it. Whether its because of work, distracting you, making you forget or some other reason you always seem to forget me and that’s- that’s okay because I’ve realized I’ll always come second best to you and I always will,” I chuck my diploma on the kitchen bench, the paper making a soft slap against the cold marble.

I turn and begin to make my way upstairs, my eyes sore and dry. 

“Y/n, please, baby no, I’ll do anything to make this up, make it up to you,” Shawn calls trailing me up the stairs. I turn around to face him.

“Just,” I cry, pausing to calm the anger that reappeared. “I need space right now,” I reach the top of the stairs and go to the cupboard pulling out an overnight bag and begin to quickly chuck clothes I may need.

“What are you doing? Stop! What is that supposed to mean?” Shawn calls tugging at the roots of his hair in a stressed manor. 

“I’m leaving for a couple nights, I’ll stay at Sammy’s,” I say calmly. 

“Like hell you are,” Shawn goes to my bag and pulls things out I previously put in.

I’m leaving,” I state firmly holding his gaze. “You can’t stop me,” 

“Will you come back?” He asks and for a fraction of a second he looks scared and vunrable. A fraction. 

Maybe,” I say, finishing up with my bag, I race to the front door, lugging my bag with me as Shawn chases after me.

Once I go to open the door I look back at him as he gives me a wavering look, begging me not to leave.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll forget I was ever here in the first place,” with that remark I slam the door shut.

Originally posted by everythingshawnmendes

This panel means so much to me

They’re talking about Drift and Rodimus, and in a lot of media, this would have been a “joke” where the punchline was basically “our main characters, gay? ha! what a ridiculous thought!”

But there are tons of same-gender couples in the comic, even among the main characters, and that changes things. The typical homophobic punchline doesn’t work, because the idea that Rodimus and Drift could be a couple isn’t ridiculous. This panel could even be foreshadowing! Lug is wrong, but it was a reasonable conclusion to come to, and the narrative treats it as such. And speaking as a bi woman, that is just…really, really nice to see.

Meeting The Gallaghers (Ch.1)

Veronica’s half sister has lived the big life with her rich father after a few things go south in her home she is sent to live with her mom’s side of the family. Y/N has been spoiled her whole life and has never struggled with anyone, this is all to change when she meets the Gallaghers.

Keep reading

a niall horan oneshot

Summer Camp

pairing: Niall/OFC

word count: 22,554 

warnings: sexually explicit content

Niall Horan was what one would call a cocky asshole. A loud, brash, outspoken and unapologetic cocky asshole who could either make your life a living hell or, in my case, give you the best summer of your life.

The first time I saw him was at Camp Counselor arrival day, about three days before the four week camp actually began. Being as this was my first time ever being a camp counselor, I really had no idea what to expect, but I eagerly unloaded my bags and puffed the fallen hair out of my face. I could see a crowd of people gathered over by a huge flagpole and I struggled a bit as I lugged my belongings over to join the big group of counselors. Everyone else had already arrived it seemed, the camp director shouting out a few instructions from his stance at the front, and I stopped at the very back of the group, dropping my bags at my feet with a sigh. My head twisted as two other people that had walked up caught my attention and I watched as they went around to the opposite side of the huddle, immediately engaging in conversation with some of the other counselors standing there.

Knitting my brows, I took a timid glance around and quickly realized that I knew not a single soul but everyone else seemed to already be friends, the thought making me gulp back a deep breath. This was going to be a long four weeks for sure.

Keep reading

Mystery Girl

Request: 

EXTENSION: This is an idea of what I want but I just want to add on a little piece to the end. Make it like he can’t stop thinking about me & he post it on ig & ask the belieber’s to help find me and they couldn’t & then 1 day we randomly met & we had a cute date an hit it off from there.. 😊

That’s a long request. But the longer the better! Right?!


Water flooded my senses. Every sound - every sight, all drowned out by the deathly force of nature. And although the ripples were calm - the waves soft and harmonious - the kicking and thrashing of my legs beneath me had havoc running in motion, disrupting the peacefulness. 

As the surface breached and my head broke through the blanket of water, a deep breath of air was taken through my mouth, relieving my lugs of the oxygen they needed. 

My eyes clouded with water, forcing my arms up towards them. The palms of my hands, swiped the line underneath, ridding my vision of the blur, finally allowing me to peer around my surroundings. 

But there was really nothing to look at, other then a sudden figure that had miraculously popped up in front of me, scaring me half to death once he had broken through the water directly in front of me. 

The boy jumped back also, chuckling slightly as I peered down at the chlorinated water beneath me. “Woah! Hello!” I giggled.

A chuckle escaped the boys mouth, leaving my heart throbbing at the sound. That chuckle was so familiar. “Sorry.” 

So familiar.

I just couldn’t place my finger on it.

“It’s all good.” Was how I replied, brushing the moment off. “It was honestly a bit amusing.” 

“Yeah, it was a little bit funny.” 

That’s when my head shot up, the smile on my face morphing into an expression which expressed my exact emotion inside. Dumbfounded, shocked, maybe a little starstruck. 

I knew he was here in Bora Bora as well, but I didn’t think I would run in to him! Especially not like this.

“Wow. Oh My God! Y-Your….”

“Justin Bieber? Yeah, I know.” He sighed. He seemed slightly disappointed, or maybe a little saddened by my reaction, causing my heart to throb in my chest. I knew how much he hated it when people recognised him as someone different, and I just made this situation a whole new level of awkward. 

“Uh, no! I-I wasn’t going to say that, I was going to say that you were….Hot?” 

Really Y/N?! Hot?! I am seriously - mentally face palming right now.

There was no hesitance in Justin smirk, curling smugly across his face in delight. he was obviously amused by this whole situation, leaving me in an embarrassed position.

“Really now? You think I’m hot? Well If I’m hot then what are you?” 

“A troll.” I scoffed jokingly.

Justin frowned, swimming forward slightly to place a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not a troll, you’re beautiful.” 

This is not happening right now.

“Thank you.” I blushed.

“Its nothing. I was only expressing the truth. Just like you were.” He winked.

“Alright,” I laughed. “Lets not get too cocky.” 

“Who said anything about being cocky? I prefer the term, self confident.”

“I think you got it confused with self loathing.” I smiled mockingly.

Justin looked down with fake shock, but impression was clearly written across his little facade.

“Wow, you got quite the mouth on you, eh?” 

“Watch it boy, your inner Canadian is showing.” I said. 

“Well, I happen to like my inner Canadian.” He smiled.

“Really now? Well you wanna know a fact?” 

“What?” He asked, a smile present on his face.

“I’m Canadian as well.” 

Justin’s face morphed into one of surprise but also excitement. “Really?!”

“Yeah. I’ll prove it ready….” I cleared my throat. “That was a total gong show, eh?” 

Justin laughed, obviously finding my imitation of a Canadian terribly sad, but amusing. “You’re not really Canadian are you?” 

“…No.” I chucked shyly.

He was honestly really funny, a lot different then I expected. I loved him, yes, but behind a screen, he seemed rather confident and flirty. Not what I was seeing right now. A sweet, normal and funny boy, looking for a nice conversation.

“You know-” Justin began.

“Hey!” The sudden voice had me spinning around, a beautiful, blonde girl with a wide, pearly white smile, accompanied by a few more girls, all outstandingly pretty floating besides me in the pool. But it was obvious there greeting was not directed towards me, but rather the idol pop singer besides me.

“Hi! Oh my God. Sorry to bother you but we saw you when we walked in, and we just wanted to say that we’re really big fans. Do you mind if we swim around with you for a bit?” 

Justin’s mouth was slightly a gape at the girls request, parting a few times as if he was scavenging for words before his eyes trailed down to meet mine. At the moment, I swear he almost looked desperate and was about to mutter a response but was once again interrupted by the blonde girls squeaky voice.

“Actually-”

“Great!” The girl squealed, swimming closer to Justin. 

The rest of the girls all began doing the same, crowding around him. It wasn’t long until I was pushed towards the back, swimming, dumbfounded by the situation. If I really wanted to, I could just swim back towards Justin and bother him for a little while longer, but I’m sure he doesn’t want someone like me trying to take his attention away from a beautiful group of girls swooning at his feet.

Besides, these girls where intimidating, making me feel uncomfortable. I was lucky enough to even catch sight of the boy, let alone have a small conversation and be called beautiful by him. But that’s what he calls all his beliebers, it’s not as if he actually meant it. I think It was about time I went back to my hotel room.

I made my way out of the pool and dried my wet body as best as I could with a white, fluffy complimentary towel. After wrapping the material around my damp body and grabbing a hold of my keys while slipping on my flip flops, I began making my way towards the exit of the pool, before a sudden unexpected voice pulled me to a stop. 

“Hey! Wait up!” 

My eyes flickered back, settling in shock at the scene before me. The girls in the pool all looked back at me with jealousy and disbelief in there eyes. And best of all, Justin, In nothing but a pair of board shorts, power walking over in my direction.

“M-Me?” 

“No, the receptionist behind you.” He commented, causing me to blush in embarrassment. He wasn’t talk to me! God that’s embarrassing!

“Oh.” Was all I said, turning to walk away.

Justin chuckled at my reaction, reaching a hand out to grab my wrist. ‘”I was being sarcastic. There is no receptionist behind you.”

“Oh!” This time I was more enlightened. 

“I was just wondering…do you, maybe…wanna photo?” 

I was flabbergasted “A-A photo?” 

“Yeah, you know. For memories?” 

The boy who literally told the whole world that he would rather be considered a douche then be forces to take a photo with a fan, is now offering me, of all people a photo. 

But I knew that underneath the fact he was trying to be sweet, he really wasn’t comfortable with this. So who was I to make him believe his worst nightmare was a reality? That people care more for the photo then the memory of him.

“Thank you Justin, really but you don’t have to do that-” 

“No! it’s all good.” 

“Justin, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortab-”

“Please.” He interrupted. “It’s on me. My offer. It really doesn’t bother me.” he assured me.

Silence for a few more seconds. Thoughts of responses all battling each other throughout my head before finally, a sigh of defeat escaped my lips. “Okay. But I don’t have my phone on me.” 

“It’s alright we’ll do it on mine.”

“Oh alright, we’ll do that– Wait, your phone?!” 

“Yep, say cheese!” 

SNAP


I decided to do a separate part to this. The Instagram can be a real Instagram imagine. Stay tuned!

Bolder Part 2

A/N: So I decided to just post this anyway. I hope you guys like it. Once again if you don’t like this series you don’t have to read it .Its an entirely self-indulgent fic. I have no idea when the next part will be out. message me and send me asks.

Title: Bolder Part 2

Rating: teen

Pairings: Father!Burr x Daughter!reader, Phillip Hamilton x Reader

Warnings: neglect (maybe), self doubt

Word Count: 2402

Editors : @hercreationgalaxy  @emocomrade-jpeg

Part 1



Age 16

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” Phillip asked hesitantly. I looked at him curiously. “I mean my family can be a little crazy sometimes. We just haven’t done much outside of school together. Not to mention, my family is complaining about never meeting any of my friends.” He elaborated while looking at the ground nervously and talking with his hands.

“Anything. We haven’t done anything after school Pip.” I corrected him with a quirky smirk.

I nodded my head and finally replied that I would. I laughed as he smiled before, quite literally, skipped off to class. I shut my locker and lugged my book bag back over my shoulder. Phillip was probably my best friend. I rarely talked to people besides my teachers and professors. I also didn’t get out often because I was constantly working or going to after school clubs. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I sat in class thinking about all the work I had to do.

I quickly sent a text to Theo letting her know that I wouldn’t be at home for dinner. I knew it didn’t matter. I was normally the only one home for dinner. Mom and Dad were at work while Theo went out with friends. I liked it. That meant I could do homework and studying at the table.

I’m a sophomore and Phillips a junior  but, that didn’t stop us from meeting the first day of debate club. Things got out of hand during an altercation, he is his father’s son after all. Once I had saved his hide from the Senior that he had a disagreement with, things just clicked. He stuck to me like glue–for some reason.


I walked along side Phillip towards his house. Our hands brushed and my face went red. We didn’t talk. Phillip knew I wasn’t used to talking so he would fill it with his stories and adventures or let the comfortable silence hang between us. He lived out on a piece of farmland with fields surrounding three sides of the house.  Phillip had said it was because his dad wanted his family to have some peace and quiet away from the big city. As we stopped in front of the house everything about it seemed picture perfect. It was warm and the garden was beautiful with a multitude of colored flowers poking out of the flower beds. Everything was perfectly trimmed and stone path led up to the wrap around porch where there were wooden chairs and tables set out. It felt homely, unlike my own house. The door opened as soon as Phillip and I started up the path. A gorgeous woman stepped out with flowing brown hair. She wore a blue sun dress and was beaming at us.

“Hi darling. How was school?” She asked while walking down the step to stand in front of Phillip. He quickly leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“It was fine.” He replied sheepishly. He quickly spun around to look at me with a beaming smile. “Y/n this is my Ma, Eliza Hamilton. Ma, this is Y/N,” He said with a beaming smile. She looked over and grinned at me. I smiled back meekly not wanting to make a bad impression. I really didn’t talk a lot. Especially not to any family.

“Hi Mrs. Hamilton, it’s nice to meet you.” I said holding out my hand. She immediately grabbed it and pulled me into a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you too dear.” She said as she squeezed me. I had frozen. I  slowly brought my hand up to rest my hand on her back and collect myself. Phillip started bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pockets. Eventually Mrs. Hamilton pulled back and quirked her eyebrow. “Why don’t you go work with Phillip on homework? I will call you when it is time for dinner.”

Phillip looked grateful as he once again grabbed my hand and began dragging me up the stairs and into the house. It was just as perfect as the outside. It had pretty blue and red oriental rugs and extremely plush leather couches sat in front of a large TV in the living room. He set down his back pack and let out a breath, running his hands through his hair. He spun around on his heel to face me again.

“Sorry I know we can be a little much. I won’t lie. It will get a little worse at dinner. They will ask a lot of questions. I understand is you want to leave …” He said in monotone with a shrug of his shoulders. I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“No, are you kidding? It’s ok Phillip. I just wasn’t expecting it at first that’s all. Nobody in my family acts like that. We aren’t as close as you and your family seem to be.” I replied, trying my best to sound comforting. We sat down and relaxed into the couch as I began pulling out my workbooks.

“Yeah you have mentioned that. That’s part of the reason I was worried. When my mom hugged you, you looked ready to bolt. Is that really not normal? Do they hug Theo? Oh wait sorry. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He rambled quickly. I laughed.

“It’s fine. Nobody is really ever home. That and nobody in my family is really physically affectionate.”

“Oh, that really sucks. I can’t imagine why they ignore you. Although, you do tend to ignore people in favor of work. I guess I know where you get it from.”

“I am sorry what? I didn’t hear you,” I laughed as I felt him chuckle next to me. “Besides, I don’t think they mean to ignore me. I think they just find other things a little more important.”

“Well,” Phillip huffed next to me before just slinking back into the comfort of the couch. I looked over and cocked my head to the side to give him a questioning look. He looked at me for a minute before smile. Then he suddenly brightened up. “Can you help me with my government homework? I would ask my dad but he will start to grumble about foreign policy and federal government rights. That and sometimes I think you know more than him. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I guarantee I don’t know more than your father considering he is the treasury secretary  but I will help you. I am almost finished with my paper on the federal budget anyway.”

“There was a paper on the federal budget due!?” Phillip shrieked while jumping to his feet.

“Calm down. I was talking about a college course I am taking.” I said trying to hold back my laughter. “Did you know you sound like a girl when you scream?” I began laughing hysterically. Phillip turned red but burst out laughing

“Sorry not everyone can be as ridiculously smart as you.” He replied while sitting down after our laughing fit. “Now here is the worksheet.” Jestering at the paper on the table. “Your task is to figure out what the hell we were even talking about because I wasn’t paying attention.” I chuckled again before picking up the paper.


“Alright children, it’s time for dinner. Your father just got home Phillip,” Mrs. Hamilton came into the room practically singing. I smiled and gingerly closed my laptop. I went to grab my reference book on legislation before a hand beat me. I looked up to find a man with shoulder length hair and bags around his eyes staring at my book. I knew for a fact that it was Mr. Hamilton based on my father’s pictures.

“This is one of the best legislative reference books out there. What use would a high school student have for a book like this?” he asked looking from the book to me. Phillip quickly cut in and took the book from his father, handing it back to me.

“She actually is taking a few college political courses right now. This is Y/N,” Phillip stated. He fidgeted looking between his father and I. I stood up and put a smile on face.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Hamilton uhh, sir.” I stated while holding out my hand. He looked at me slightly confused but shook my waiting hand anyway.

“Likewise,” Mr. Hamilton said before looking over at Phillip. “Didn’t you say your friend Y/N was a sophomore? She wouldn’t be able to take college courses till next year.”

“Actually I take the courses through a different online institute. I also found out last week that the school is allowing me to skip my junior year and graduate next year as part of Phillip’s senior class.” I said. As I spoke his eyes widened and his smile grew.

“WHAT?!?” Phillip exclaimed next to me. “You didn’t tell me that. This is so exciting. You are going to be able to have classes with me and meet all my friends and graduate with me and and and …”

“Well now that you have broken my son, why don’t we go sit down for dinner?” He said. He was smiling and motioned for me to walk with him.

Once we sat down at the table all Phillip’s siblings looked at me. Mrs. Hamilton laughed as Mr. Hamilton recounted what I had told him and how Phillip had reacted to the news. The room was warmly lit with a large wooden table and plush chairs. One window faced out over their front lawn. They finished setting the table with food and it began to get passed around. I sat with Phillip in the two chairs on the right, closest to his parents.

“Children, say hello to our guest ,phillip’s friend, Y/N,” Mrs. Hamilton said. I heard a shout of several hellos from across the table and I smiled sheepishly. I wasn’t used to being seen.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” I replied. Phillip grabbed my hand and squeezed it under the table. I looked over at him and he was smiling nervously again. I gave him a squeeze back before he let go. Mr. Hamilton started talking about his day and the kids started getting in conversations of their own. I slowly took small amounts of food from each plate that was passed to me. I felt comfortable, just not comfortable enough to talk.

“Seriously Eliza, Burr is going to be the death of me. He has no regard for anyone’s opinion. He just believes everything should be done as neutrally as possible. He doesn’t even tell me why he doesn’t like my plans.” Mr. Hamilton huffed besides me. I felt Phillip tense next me while I held in my laughter, a hand quickly flew to my mouth as I suppressed myself. Mr. Hamilton turned to me and smiled. “I am afraid I haven’t caught your full name?”

“ Y/N Y/M/N Burr, sir.” I replied hesitantly. He dropped his fork on the plate in shock before quickly switching to confusion.

“I was under the impression Burr only had one daughter.”

“Not surprising, my father doesn’t talk about me often. Theo is the one he invites to his business events anyway.” I said, keeping a straight face. I am not gonna lie, that one hurt. I knew he didn’t talk to me and payed more attention to Theo but I assumed he at least included me as his child. Mr. Hamilton sat there shocked for a minute before Mrs. Hamilton intervened with raised eyebrows and quirked lips.

“So I heard you are skipping a grade. Didn’t you already skip your freshman year?” she asked.

“Yes, I have been taking quite a few college courses as well.” I said quietly. I wasn’t used to being asked questions. I gently flushed under their gazes.

“Phillip said your head of the debate club. Is there anything else you do outside of school?” She pressed. Mr. Hamilton leaned in.

“Ummmmm I uhhhh …” I stuttered with the onslaught of questions. No one was ever intrigued with me. Phillip rested his hand on my shoulder and I quickly found my voice again. “I am head of the school’s newspaper, I participate in cross country, the student ambassador program, science fair committee, and junior ROTC.” Mr. Hamilton sat there looking at me for a minute.

“Isn’t your sister a cheerleader?” He asked. I inwardly groaned but kept my neutral expression. Theo is such a likeable person, why would he not want to talk about her? I nodded my head yes and went to pick up my fork. “Then why the hell would he talk about her and not you?” Phillip and his mother began laughing. My eyes snapped up to meet his. He smiled widely with crinkles in the corners of his eyes. “You seem to be extremely focused and intelligent Y/N. I am a bit confused as to why I haven’t heard about you before.” I became confused as well. I wasn’t that impressive.

“It’s not really a big deal,” They all gave me weird and shocked looks. I quickly looked down at my plate. “I just mean, I could be doing more and doing it better too.” I glanced back up at them to find they were all sharing a look.

“I was wondering Y/N. Could you help me with an argument I am trying to make with this case I have been given? It has more to do with supreme court cases. I haven’t read to extensively on them but I guarantee you would know more about them.” Mr. Hamilton asked.

“Uhh-ummm … I could try my best, sir.” You respond quietly.


That started a slightly happier chapter of my life. I would spend half my time around the Hamilton house. Phillip would come over to my house on the nights after debate club so we could trash talk other people. When it was time for my senior year to start I felt like I had a proper family. Mr. Hamilton would talk to me and debate with me over politics. Mrs. Hamilton would suggest literature to me. Phillip’s siblings would ask for help with their homework. I stopped eating dinner alone and went to the Hamilton’s instead. They had practically insisted when they found out my family was never around.

@fanboyswhereare-you @impossiblepizzapeace

6 months on testosterone: Run Away With Me - Unauthorized Autobiography of Samantha Brown (cut)

I needed to prepare this for an audition I have next week. They asked for us to sing a minute of our favourite song and said we’re encouraged to accompany ourselves. Didn’t like the idea of lugging my guitar to Toronto, so I’m going with this!

So I did a thing...

And now I’m broke…

A bit of background. I have been a Kpop fan/Shawol since around Summer of 2014. And, of course, initially, I was not gonna buy merch. “You don’t need to start all that mess, miss extreme emotional dependence on objects. CHILL.” 

………Clearly this resolution was not successful. 

Last month, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, which explains the pain and declining health I was experiencing over the course of my time with SHINee. So, if you can, just picture me, rewarding/bribing myself for functioning… with SHINee items. This is how a cabinet like this comes to be.

So I thought I would share a few of the process pictures because I’m a ghost and I never talk to you guys even though, I love all of you with all of my whole heart. Attn: Everyone I follow and have never talked to. 

Ok, so… a story of me and shawol mom. I was gonna buy a janky $130 cabinet that was broken and probably not structurally sound at all, but my mom was like, “you can’t put SHINee in a janky cabinet, SHINee deserves better than this.” So she made me go to 6 stores to look before I made a decision, which of course, this beautiful cabinet, which was exactly what I had envisioned, was at the first one, and that is how I ended up with an $800 cabinet. My mom matched my half, because its pretty much her fault I spent all my money. 

(My room is in transition so please ignore my weird bed stuff.) 

I laid out all my smalls in preparation for cabinet loading. Although, I was not going to collect merch, you can now count among the things I collect: albums, posters, lightsticks, photocards, magazines, seasons greetings, photobooks, plush dolls, photos, sticker sets, postcards, polaroids, buttons, banners, balloons, and miscellaneous. 

Some were blurry, I left those out…

Fun Fact: My mother, who hacked into my bank account to do my taxes because she was bored, calculated that I spent 40% of my income on SHINee last year. 

That’s about $10,000.

but includes travel expenses for when I lugged my entirely not ok self all over the country and saw SHINee 4 times…

Here is a video: You can hear authentic sounds such as my mom’s murder shows and me humming because leaning over is hard for me, so I make noise. 

Loaded cabinet images:

Technically my neck pillow is not SHINee but it holds Jinkibunny up. Foxkey has a bib. 

Lightstick collection. 

The greatest photo in the history of forever.

I like to call this the flat stuff pile.

Magazines, Photobooks, Seeks, and that one freakishly large album….

Jinki peeking. Those black binders hold my photocard collection, they are both bursting full. I need another one. 

Smalls I couldn’t figure out what to do with…

Special shout out image for my beloved jinki-bunny, Rinn. My first real shawol friend. That bracelet has been in the presence of SHINee 5 times. Also, jink-is, excellent shawol bud. 

albums…

If anybody cares or even got this far, I was really exhausted by this point so I just stuck whatever album I grabbed on there and called it good. I’ll organize at a later date. 

and because I probably won’t post again for another 2 years, let’s end on a selfie or 5. 6?

Surgery selfie!

Puppy selfie!

Lena vs. the gigantic fork for NO REASON DALLAS!!! selfie.

Pretending I ever looked this good in my life selfie.

SHAWOL LOVE Selfie!

Excruciating pain for over a year could not stop me. Surgery 9 days before I took this picture did not stop me. I will go and ooze love out of my pores and beam love and pride and happiness out of my soul so hard that it hits SHINee and they fall down because they are worth everything. This is the only picture I took in Dallas and its the only one I need. 

Rain- Lucas friar

Requested: yes

An imagine where the reader breaks up with her abusive now ex-boyfriend & she goes tell the gang. Lucas has liked the reader since he met her & when he sees the bruises and blood on her he goes Texas Lucas on her ex. Make it fluffy please💕

Warnings: abuse, cursing

Takes place in college as it’s a more mature situation. I am aware that there are abusive relationships in high school but I just feel this would work better with them in college.

Keep reading

guard-girl-in-love  asked:

Asphyxiation and Archie andrews

Everyone else had left. Not only did they leave the party, but they left him. But not you.

You just couldn’t. Not him.

He had gotten drunk and belligerent, ruining his own party.

He paced back and forth before you, anger prominent on his features. He was yelling, ranting about how no one was ever there for him and how nothing ever workout out in his favor.

“I mean, I’m just so useless!” He spat about himself. “I always try to help, and all I end up doing is making everything worse! I have no control over anything and it’s driving me crazy!” He continued shouting, his hands in his hair, tugging at those beautiful orange strands.

You rushed over to him, taking his hands in your and pulling his down to the floor. You pulled your hands into his lap, making sure that we was close enough to see the sincerity in your eyes.

“You are not useless, Archie. You’re so good for all of us, you keep us all together and functioning. Hell, you even saved Cheryl’s life,” You whispered to him, trying to get him to calm down.

He looked between your eyes, his auburn eyes filling with tears that made them glow like burning ambers. That was so like Archie, always burning away.

“Everything good that I have done, I haven’t meant to do. Every time I try, I fail,” He said as his posture relaxed until his broad shoulders were hunched over and he look utterly defeated.

You lunged forward, enveloping the large boy before you in a crushing hug, putting all of your strength into giving him your love.

“Archie, please,” You whispered, tears welling in your own eyes making your throat close and your words sound strange.

“No, y/n, don’t you cry for me,” Archie said pulling away, staring sadly into your eyes. “I couldn’t survive if I hurt you, too,” He said.

Your eyes softened. You took his head into your hands, “You’re just a big sensitive lug, my love. I swear, I’ll protect you from this.”

“How?” He asked, breaking. Just crumbling before him.

You thought for a moment. You knew what would give him back the feeling of being in control. He might not be comfortable with the idea, but if he tried, he would love it.

“There is a way,” You said, forcing a smile onto your lips. “Let me be your puppet,” You told him, pressing soft kiss onto his chin.

He stared at you in confusion.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” You continued, pressing a kiss to one of his cheeks. “Own me,” You kissed the other cheek.

“I’ll do whatever you want,” You said, kissing his forehead.

With your hands still on his face, you pulled him until you were lying on your back and he was looming over you, staring into your eyes, finally with hope.

Your hand slid down his toned chest until it disappeared beneath the hem of his jeans. His eyes fluttered closed and he took a deep breath. After you saw this, you knew he approved. You pulled your hand from him and used them both to unbuckle his pants to push them down his legs.

He captured your face and kissed you gently; you could feel the tears drying on his cheeks.

“Go ahead, Archie. Tell me what to do,” You whispered as you massaged him through his boxers.

His eyes searched yours, trying to find the encouragement to actually follow your instructions instead of just listening to your words.

“What do you want me to do for you right now?” You asked.

“I want you to make me feel powerful,” He admitted meekly.

You nodded, putting your hand on his chest to gently push him over until he was lying on his back. You stared into his soft eyes for a moment longer, pressing a lingering kiss on his delicious lips. You then began kissing along his chin, along his collar bones.

You pulled his shirt up, and he helped you tug it over his head before you continued kissing his perfect chest down his chiseled abs until you reached the hem of his boxers.

“Tell me to do it, tell me what you want,” You whispered to him, massaging him again.

The pain was leaving his eyes, masked by gentle lust.

“Take me in your mouth,” He said. You smiled at him always being a gentleman.

“Be rougher,” You suggested.

He looked a little confused, unsure of what to say. “Choke on my cock?” He tried, almost uncomfortable with the words spilling out of his mouth, but it was incredibly erotic to you.

You pulled the band of his underwear down until it was at his ankles, and he kicked it off. Coming back up to face his impressive cock, you licked one strip up it, and that made his legs twitch. You did this one more time before you took him in your mouth.

Your pace was slow and measured as you and him changed the mood in the room, focusing on pleasure instead of pain.

Then his hips began to push ever-so-slightly forward every time you reached the base of his cock, making you gag.

He apologized with a rasped voice, finding it difficult to control his actions. Without stopping, you reached for his hand, which was clamped tightly on the rug on the floor. You placed it on the back of your head.

He followed what you were instructing him to do and dug his fingers into your hair, pulling your head back and then pushing it forward, now controlling the pace of the blow job.

He was getting into it, his eyes closed with his head rolled back, his hip movements getting sloppy as his toes curled. He no longer gently pulled your head, he was careless with his movements, and this made you wetter than you expected.

He never let go like this, and you wondered if he did more often if he would be happier. You wished it would. You wished this would teach him that.

The way that he was moaning and how his cock was twitching made you think he was getting close, so you pulled away, letting his erect cock bounce against his stomach as it fell from your lips.

“Babe, what?” He asked with an airy tone, definitely less than fully mentally present.

“Trust me, I know how we should finish this,” You told him, straddling him.

You squatted, holding yourself up above him as you pulled his hand, now placing it on your neck. He stared at you with confusion.

“When I’m going to come, choke me, Archie,” You said, then you pushed yourself down onto his cock.

You gasped at the feeling of being stretched by his glorious length, biting your lip until you were able to adjust to the size of him.

His fingers were awkwardly limp around your throat.

“Archie, choke me now, too,” You told him between pants.

He hesitated, groaning a little as you continued riding him at a quick pace. “I don’t know that I’ll like it.”

You grinded your hips into his, trying to convince him.

“Archie, I’m you puppet. Do whatever you want to me.”

You tightened his hand around your throat a little, and you had the most splendid reaction to it. Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, your walls tightening on his cock. He pants at the reaction, his eyes narrowing on where your bodies connected before bringing them back up to your face.

You brought one of your hands down to rub circles on your clit, trying to catch up to Archie so you could cum together. When he saw this, he started to lose a little more control and get carried away with it. His hand loosened on your throat and wondered higher, his fingers finding themselves to your lips, where he traced the ‘o’ shape they were making.

Then, one slipped inside your mouth. When he felt you sucking on it, he gasped at how aroused he was. He pushed it further in your mouth, testing how far you could take it. He smiled proudly when his knuckle was surrounded by the pretty pink pucker of your lips.

His was now meeting your thrusts halfway, the collision of your bodies so powerful that one of his hands had to be brought to your hips to steady you as you two continued pounding into each other.

“Archie, I-I’m gonna-” You tried to say, but couldn’t form words.

He nodded, also too focused on the pleasure to talk.

His hand found its way to your throat again. His grip was incredible, no doubt tuned because of all of the sports he played.

The tightness on your throat was intoxicating, building up that pressure in the base of your body. Every thrust, every movement was further inflating you, making you feel as though you would explode from the feeling.

Your head was getting heavy and lite at the same time, such a plethora of feelings occurring as he pounded into you.

Then, as he took control and said “Now cum,” You released and collapses into him, disoriented and destroyed from the orgasm.

LoveBug Jugbug p2

                                                                                                                                                                                   part 1 can be found here: 

https://jugbug-imagine.tumblr.com/post/157790976974/lovebug-jugbug-part-1

Summary: Jughead is infatuated by a photography student named Y/N, what happens when y/n possibly captures Jason Blossom’s killer on camera.

Warnings: Probably swearing. Hardcore fluff, so prepare I’m about to dish some serious feels

Originally posted by grustniyautist

Y/N’s Pov


After that night at the drive in Jughead and I had been hanging out almost everyday. We had worked on intently looking through all of my photos taken from the July 4th weekend to see if we could find anything else interesting or unusual. But there was nothing to be found. Except from the one photo, that I didn’t even realise at the time would be so significant in the Jason Blossom case.

Keep reading

Belated Birthday Surprise // Tyler Joseph

-A/N: First and foremost: I’m so sorry this took FOREVER to post. I’ve been swamped with work and school and just haven’t had the time to post
(2): Happy Super Belated 28th Birthday to Tyler Joseph!!!!!😃😍❤️🎁🎉🎊🎈
(3): I was already working on two TØP imagines (one with Tyler, one with both Tyler AND Josh 😏😈) before I decided to write this in honor of his birthday.
Finally, this story is based COMPLETELY on my own imagination, and I have absolutely NOTHING against Jenna, I absolutely adore her.

-Warnings: smut, brief mentions of body image issues & self-harm

My feet dragged my body into the apartment as I managed to lug my bags in the door. Today was another long busy day with work and school, except it’s not just another busy day. Today (due to opposite schedules and nonstop work/school) is Tyler’s super belated birthday. Unfortunately my request to have it off was rejected by my job, leaving me with no choice but to go in that day. Gotta love being bound by work, right? Ever since then, I’ve been feeling horrible about not being able to spend the full day with him, and I still do. Even though he’s always been super understanding and supportive, I still want to do something special for him today. Luckily, he’s coming home from touring for a little while, so I know I have at least an hour to get everything ready. I finally go upstairs to shower and wash off my day when I look at my phone to see that he tried to return my call and voicemail.

“Hi baby, it’s me. Don’t worry about it, okay. I know you’ve been trying nonstop to get it off for me. It’s not your fault. You know I’ll always love and stand by you no matter what happens. I really appreciate what you’ve been trying to do for me. At least I finally get to spend time with my girl. I know you’re working really hard, as you always do. I’ll see you later on tonight, okay? I love you so much.”

I smile as I listen to his words spoken in the voicemail. Setting down the phone and stepping into the shower, I can’t help but wonder: how did I get so lucky with an amazing guy like him? Especially given the fact Tyler is this handsome, super talented artist who could get any girl he wanted. Yet, four years ago, he saw something in me: an ordinary girl whose life consisted mostly of work and school, whose body had too much meat and too many curves in the wrong places. A girl…who’s covered in cellulite, stretch marks, and scars from her rough battle with self-hate and constantly being broken by others. I never thought that four years later, I would finally find happiness and acceptance, thanks to this man, the love of my life, who treats me like an absolute queen and always makes me feel beautiful. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a quick chime from my phone. I pick it up after I finish my shower and smile as I see a text message from Tyler.

“Hi baby. I hope you had a good day at work today. I’m on my way. I’ll be home in about in about 45 minutes. Love you. ❤️😘”

I smile at the message before setting the phone on silent for the night. I go into our bedroom and get ready for his birthday surprise. I put on a black and red lace bra and panty set, covering it with their Blurryface logo cardigan in honor of their recent album. I finish with a few sprays of his favorite perfume that he got me last Christmas before running downstairs to get dinner heated up and ready. I fix up our plates with baked chicken and broccoli Alfredo, along with the birthday cake I made for him. I go back up to set out the food and wine on the bedroom table and sit on the couch. Just as I turn on our favorite slow songs and set aside my birthday present to him, Tyler comes in through the front door, calling my name was he runs up to our room. I immediately jump up from the loveseat, catching his attention. He looks up and is immediately caught by surprise, taking in the mood and atmosphere, and then by the sight of my body half dressed for him.

“Happy Belated Birthday, Tyler.” I say as I wrap my arms around him before kissing him, his immediately sliding around my waist 
“Thank you, baby. Oh my God, did you…do all this?” He asks, looking at me and then at the food I fixed for today.
“Of course I did. Just for you.” I lead him over to the couch where everything is set up. “I know our schedules would never align and it sucks that I couldn’t celebrate with you. But, I still want to do something special for you, even if it’s super late.”
Tyler looks at the food I made, and then my gift for him.
“Oh God, chicken and broccoli Alfredo & marble cake: two of my absolute favorites. And you still got me a gift!” He turns his attention back to me
“Go ahead and open it, babe.” I say, smiling

Tyler grabs the small black box wrapped in red ribbon. He pulls at the strand to untie it, before opening the box. It revealed an all black watch that I happened to have found one day while shopping at the mall. It wasn’t huge, but certainly not small either, just the right size. Tyler smiles at the gift and then at me before setting it down to kiss me, his arms pulling me closer to his body and wrapping around my waist.

“Thank you so much, babe. You know you really didn’t have to do all this. I would’ve been happy just cuddling and watching a few movies with you.”
I shake my head, pulling him closer to me. “I know I didn’t have to, I wanted to. And I still do, because you’ve done so much for me over the years we’ve been together, and you deserve the whole world.”
Tyler smiles at me and presses his lips against my forehead, his arms pulling me onto his lap as mine link around his neck. "You always know how to make me happy, Y/N. I just wish we could be together more often so that I could do the same thing for you.”
“Tyler, you already make me happy. God, where do I begin? You always understood and supported my crazy life, even when our schedules didn’t align. You treat me…like an absolute queen. You always make sure I’m okay, no matter how far away you’re touring. I just…You know I don’t think words can even describe how amazing you are.”

That’s when I lean in and pull him in for another kiss, making it more passionate than the last one. Tyler moves his hands up and cups them around my face, deepening the kiss as his thumbs caressing my warm cheeks. I lick his lower lips, asking for entrance. Tyler immediately lets me in, our tongues dancing against each other. I start to ease myself off of his lap, pulling him up with me by his shirt. He immediately starts pulling me backwards. I smile as he stops right at the edge of our bed and start unbuttoning his shirt. I reach the last one and push it off of his shoulders and onto the carpet floor. I bite my lip as I look at his thin yet toned, shirtless frame. Again, I briefly wonder what he saw (and still sees) in me that make me so special to him, and why of all women, he chose to be with me. Tyler seems to read my mind and gently cups my face in his hand; looking into my eyes with so much love and compassion.

“You know, ever since I met you, I knew you would be the most amazing girl for me.” He says, as his other hand moves under my slightly oversized sweater over my large, marked up stomach. Tyler moves down to my neck and begins placing small kisses back up in between his words. “Whether it’s your kindness and loyalty…passion and perseverance in everything you do…that gorgeous face…or your beautiful body…” He finally reaches my lips, gently tugging on the lower one with his teeth. “…God, I could go on describing everything I absolutely adore about you. But just know this…you’re absolutely perfect to me and always will be…no matter what.” He says with a smile.

I regain some of my confidence and gently push him down on the bed, my dominant side showing as I straddle his waist and reconnect our lips. Tyler groans at the feeling and roughly grabs my hips, thrusting up sharply as he guides my movements. I gasp and smile as I feel him become hard underneath me through his jeans, my own arousal beginning to form in between my large thighs. My hands pull him back up as I continue rocking against him. He quickly moves his hands to my butt, grabbing a fistful of each cheek and slapping the left one. I immediately moan at the new feeling, unconsciously moving my hand to his hair. Seeing this side of Tyler turns me on even more, my body heating up at the sensation. I begin to slowly take off my sweater, hands shaking as I undo each button. He senses my nervousness and helps me with the last ones before sliding it off of my body. Tyler smiles at the lacy surprise underneath, his hands wandering every inch of my partially covered body.

“Damn, baby girl. I never knew you had this side to you.” He breathed out
“I always did, Tyler.” I explain, as I begin to unbutton his jeans. “I was just scared to show it because I was scared it would be with the wrong guy again. But ever since I met you and we became official, now I know.”

Tyler smiles and moves back against the headboard, kicking off his jeans in the process. I pull the covers over our bodies for warmth and begin kissing and biting his neck. I take his chin into my mouth before moving my kisses down; biting, sucking, and licking as I go along. I trace his chest tattoos with my tongue. I bite my lip and I think of a way to pleasure him as I disappear under the covers. I come face to face with his huge erection poking through the gap in his boxers. I pull them off before I slowly begin to lick the tip, earning a surprised yet pleasure filled gasp from Tyler as I suck on the head. “Whoa. Holy shit, Y/N,” he whispers in bliss. His breath becomes choppy as I take him further into my mouth. My right hand twists and rubs what I can’t fit. I smile to myself as he becomes a cursing mess under my touch, panting and moaning while thrusting into my mouth nonstop. I hear nonstop praises as I pick up the pace and continue bobbing my head up and down on his length before shoving the rest of him in my throat. “Fuck!” He yells, at the sudden action. I let out a moan at the taste and feeling of him, sending vibrations all over his length. Tyler pulls me back up to his face and kisses me again, clearly now even more turned on than before.

“Damn, Y/N,” He breaths out in between kisses. “You know as much as I’m absolutely loving this side of you, I really want to make you feel amazing, too.”
I pull away briefly, looking straight into his eyes and caressing his cheek with my hand. “Baby, you always make me feel amazing when I’m with you. Besides, tonight is all about you and your satisfaction.” I reply before kissing his neck
“Mmmm…well here’s another way you can satisfy me, baby girl.”

Tyler unexpectedly proceeds to flip me onto my back, making me gasp out of surprise as my head hits the pillow. He immediately smashes his lips onto mine and starts to move down my body. I feel him kiss my breasts; biting, sucking, and licking each one through the lace while pulling down my bra straps. He quickly unhooks the back before tossing it onto the floor. I feel the dreaded blush all over my face as he smiles at the view of my bare breasts, turning my head into the pillow in an attempt to conceal it. Tyler tilts my head towards him, my tomato shaded face on full display.

“Stop trying to hide yourself from me, babe.” He says
“Sorry.” I apologize “I can’t help it. I hate blushing in front of people.”
“Why? I think you look absolutely beautiful when you do.”

I’m about to argue when I feel Tyler’s mouth latch onto my left breast, making me moan at the feeling. His tongue flicks against my nipple while his hand works on my right one. He continues this before switching and repeating actions, finally removing my underwear in the process. He disappears under the comforter before roughly grabbing my hips and pulling my wet core against his mouth. My moans turn into screams as he continues devouring me, sucking and licking my clit while inserting two fingers inside me. I feel my body arch off of the bed as his fingers continue jamming into me, constantly hitting my sensitive spot. I’m almost at my peak when Tyler suddenly withdraws and moves up to my face.

My lips smash against his, my emotions of love and lust pouring into my movements. He begins wrap my legs around his waist, but I pull them back. Instead I roll him onto his back and sit on his waist, gripping his erection. Tyler immediately realizes my intentions and moves his hands to my hips, guiding me as I begin to slowly sink down onto him. “Oh fuck, baby girl,” Tyler breathes out in pleasure. I close my eyes and gasp at the feeling of him stretching me out, his size leaving me breathless as I slowly begin to move. My eyes open when my moans are cut off by Tyler’s, his orbs closed in complete pleasure. I move my hands to his chest and continue rolling my hips. Tyler looks up at me and smiles, clearly turned on by my slight dominance.

“You know, I’m absolutely loving this view of you. Damn, you’re a goddess (Y/N).” He compliments as he thrusts up, meeting my movements.
“I finally feel like one, thanks to you.” I reply and smile at him

Tyler smiles back and sits up, pulling me into another kiss. I wrap my legs around his waist, not wanting an inch of our bodies to be separated. His long fingers trace up my spine as his other hand lightly holds my cheek. My hands lightly massage his shoulders, making their way down to his tattooed chest. Tyler pushes me back so that I’m laying on the bed, not stopping with his thrusts. I close my eyes as the increased pleasure takes over my body, choked moans leaving my mouth and growing louder. My fingernails dig into his arms, shoulders, and back as he goes faster. Tyler lowers himself to bury his face in the crook of my neck, gently kissing the purple marks he left a while ago. The feeling of his nails digging into my hips, his lips on my neck, his constant pants, moans, and cursing drives me crazy and makes me more and more aroused. I feel myself nearing the edge as my walls clench around him, his throbbing member and increasing pace indicating likewise.

“T-Ty, I-I’m close,” I barely manage to get out
“I know, babe. G-go ahead. Let it go…Fuck!”

I almost scream as my body violently convulses, my orgasm finally taking over and pulling Tyler over the edge with me. My legs wrap around his waist as waves of pleasure pulse throughout my body. After what seems like an eternity, we finally come down. Despite the already present pain from our activities a moment ago, I get up, immediately realizing the mess that was made a few minutes ago. Tyler laughs at my reaction upon seeing the large wet spots from my orgasm on our comforter.

“Holy fuck, did I really do that??” I ask, my jaw dropping at the sight
“Yeah, you did,” he laughs, grabbing a towel to clean himself up “But don’t worry, you were absolutely amazing.”
“I’m really glad you liked it.” I smile before I start pulling off the covers. “Don’t worry about the mess, baby. I’ll get everything changed and cleaned up.”
“No. You need to sit down and relax. Besides, you can barely even walk. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.” I open my mouth to argue, but he cuts me off with a soft and sweet kiss. “(Y/N), you’ve already done so much for me today. Please, go ahead and relax. I’ll get everything cleaned up, okay?”

I knew that debating was pointless, so I nodded and went to lay down on our couch. I close my eyes and replay the events of our heated moment from tonight. The thoughts and replays of every kiss, touch, and thrust makes me smile. I look back on my past, and how far I’ve come with Tyler’s help and support. With Tyler; I no longer feel weak, worthless, ugly, or unwanted like I once did. I no longer feel like the fat girl that no one wants to date, let alone actually fuck. Thanks to him, I feel strong, powerful, confident, and beautiful in every aspect of my life. And I never could have achieved that with anyone else. My eyes open as my thoughts are interrupted by the sound of running water in the bathroom, my sight greeted by new sheets and blankets on our bed. Tyler emerges from the bathroom, now only covered with a towel, wrapped around his waist.

“Hi love, I have a bubble bath ready for us. You want to come in?” He offers
“I’d love to.” I smile as he helps me up, linking my arm around his shoulder as I lean into him for more support, my body still sore from our activities. I wince at the pain as I settle myself into the bathtub, catching Tyler’s attention. He looks over at me with an apologetic look, realizing the extent of his activities moments ago.
“Baby, I’m sorry I went too hard. I never meant to h-” I cut him off.
“No, Tyler don’t apologize.” I slide myself onto his lap, smiling as his arms completely embrace my body. “I loved it…every single minute of it. Yes, I’m in pain. But…it’s the best kind of pain I’ve felt. It lets me remember who I belong to. It reminds me that…I belong to an amazing man who truly loves me and makes me feel beautiful in every way. And…I really wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Tyler smiles at me before cupping my cheeks and pulling me into another long and passionate kiss. His hands wander town to my hips, caressing every scar and bruise that they came across. One hand leaves my hip, only to be replaced by the feeling of warm, soapy water running over my shoulders and onto my body. I return the favor, running it over his shoulders and back where my nails left scratches. Tyler slowly pulls away from my lips. I scoot off of his lap and lean against the other side of the bathtub, pulling him with me, allowing him to cuddle with his back against my breasts.

“Happy Belated Birthday, Tyler.”
“I’ve had the best one ever, thanks to you, babe.”

I deeply enjoy how Dirk Gently didn’t even make a token attempt at taking the electric crossbow from Todd. None of this “oh I’m the detective, I solved the mystery, let me assert my rugged masculinity by lugging around a weapon” rubbish.

Just a recognition that neither of them know how to work it so hey, Todd seems to be as good an option as any, and okay. “You’re like an action hero” tone down the heart eyes, you holistic dork, you are trying to stop a murder.