It’s not always the sea trying to call me home.
Sometimes it’s the sky. Sometimes it’s your voice
in a dark room and my stumbling feet that can’t
seem to reach you in time. I ate strawberries for
the first time in months and I swear they taste
sweeter than you ever could have. So maybe
this is forgiveness, or maybe it’s just acceptance.
Either way it’s getting too heavy to lug around
my heart and your guilt. So here’s a shrine of
daisies, here’s my hands wrapped in velvet.
Here’s your final resting place. A graveside
for the pulp of heartache you turned me into.
Nothing is tugging me off my feet or stealing
my air. I’m home, and it feels softer than you
ever could have.
-A/N: First and foremost: I’m so sorry this took FOREVER to post. I’ve been swamped with work and school and just haven’t had the time to post
(2): Happy Super Belated 28th Birthday to Tyler Joseph!!!!!😃😍❤️🎁🎉🎊🎈
(3): I was already working on two TØP imagines (one with Tyler, one with both Tyler AND Josh 😏😈) before I decided to write this in honor of his birthday.
Finally, this story is based COMPLETELY on my own imagination, and I have absolutely NOTHING against Jenna, I absolutely adore her.
-Warnings: smut, brief mentions of body image issues & self-harm
My feet dragged my body into the apartment as I managed to lug my bags in the door. Today was another long busy day with work and school, except it’s not just another busy day. Today (due to opposite schedules and nonstop work/school) is Tyler’s super belated birthday. Unfortunately my request to have it off was rejected by my job, leaving me with no choice but to go in that day. Gotta love being bound by work, right? Ever since then, I’ve been feeling horrible about not being able to spend the full day with him, and I still do. Even though he’s always been super understanding and supportive, I still want to do something special for him today. Luckily, he’s coming home from touring for a little while, so I know I have at least an hour to get everything ready. I finally go upstairs to shower and wash off my day when I look at my phone to see that he tried to return my call and voicemail.
“Hi baby, it’s me. Don’t worry about it, okay. I know you’ve been trying nonstop to get it off for me. It’s not your fault. You know I’ll always love and stand by you no matter what happens. I really appreciate what you’ve been trying to do for me. At least I finally get to spend time with my girl. I know you’re working really hard, as you always do. I’ll see you later on tonight, okay? I love you so much.”
I smile as I listen to his words spoken in the voicemail. Setting down the phone and stepping into the shower, I can’t help but wonder: how did I get so lucky with an amazing guy like him? Especially given the fact Tyler is this handsome, super talented artist who could get any girl he wanted. Yet, four years ago, he saw something in me: an ordinary girl whose life consisted mostly of work and school, whose body had too much meat and too many curves in the wrong places. A girl…who’s covered in cellulite, stretch marks, and scars from her rough battle with self-hate and constantly being broken by others. I never thought that four years later, I would finally find happiness and acceptance, thanks to this man, the love of my life, who treats me like an absolute queen and always makes me feel beautiful. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a quick chime from my phone. I pick it up after I finish my shower and smile as I see a text message from Tyler.
“Hi baby. I hope you had a good day at work today. I’m on my way. I’ll be home in about in about 45 minutes. Love you. ❤️😘”
I smile at the message before setting the phone on silent for the night. I go into our bedroom and get ready for his birthday surprise. I put on a black and red lace bra and panty set, covering it with their Blurryface logo cardigan in honor of their recent album. I finish with a few sprays of his favorite perfume that he got me last Christmas before running downstairs to get dinner heated up and ready. I fix up our plates with baked chicken and broccoli Alfredo, along with the birthday cake I made for him. I go back up to set out the food and wine on the bedroom table and sit on the couch. Just as I turn on our favorite slow songs and set aside my birthday present to him, Tyler comes in through the front door, calling my name was he runs up to our room. I immediately jump up from the loveseat, catching his attention. He looks up and is immediately caught by surprise, taking in the mood and atmosphere, and then by the sight of my body half dressed for him.
“Happy Belated Birthday, Tyler.” I say as I wrap my arms around him before kissing him, his immediately sliding around my waist “Thank you, baby. Oh my God, did you…do all this?” He asks, looking at me and then at the food I fixed for today. “Of course I did. Just for you.” I lead him over to the couch where everything is set up. “I know our schedules would never align and it sucks that I couldn’t celebrate with you. But, I still want to do something special for you, even if it’s super late.” Tyler looks at the food I made, and then my gift for him.
“Oh God, chicken and broccoli Alfredo & marble cake: two of my absolute favorites. And you still got me a gift!” He turns his attention back to me
“Go ahead and open it, babe.” I say, smiling
Tyler grabs the small black box wrapped in red ribbon. He pulls at the strand to untie it, before opening the box. It revealed an all black watch that I happened to have found one day while shopping at the mall. It wasn’t huge, but certainly not small either, just the right size. Tyler smiles at the gift and then at me before setting it down to kiss me, his arms pulling me closer to his body and wrapping around my waist.
“Thank you so much, babe. You know you really didn’t have to do all this. I would’ve been happy just cuddling and watching a few movies with you.” I shake my head, pulling him closer to me. “I know I didn’t have to, I wanted to. And I still do, because you’ve done so much for me over the years we’ve been together, and you deserve the whole world.”
Tyler smiles at me and presses his lips against my forehead, his arms pulling me onto his lap as mine link around his neck. "You always know how to make me happy, Y/N. I just wish we could be together more often so that I could do the same thing for you.”
“Tyler, you already make me happy. God, where do I begin? You always understood and supported my crazy life, even when our schedules didn’t align. You treat me…like an absolute queen. You always make sure I’m okay, no matter how far away you’re touring. I just…You know I don’t think words can even describe how amazing you are.”
That’s when I lean in and pull him in for another kiss, making it more passionate than the last one. Tyler moves his hands up and cups them around my face, deepening the kiss as his thumbs caressing my warm cheeks. I lick his lower lips, asking for entrance. Tyler immediately lets me in, our tongues dancing against each other. I start to ease myself off of his lap, pulling him up with me by his shirt. He immediately starts pulling me backwards. I smile as he stops right at the edge of our bed and start unbuttoning his shirt. I reach the last one and push it off of his shoulders and onto the carpet floor. I bite my lip as I look at his thin yet toned, shirtless frame. Again, I briefly wonder what he saw (and still sees) in me that make me so special to him, and why of all women, he chose to be with me. Tyler seems to read my mind and gently cups my face in his hand; looking into my eyes with so much love and compassion.
“You know, ever since I met you, I knew you would be the most amazing girl for me.” He says, as his other hand moves under my slightly oversized sweater over my large, marked up stomach. Tyler moves down to my neck and begins placing small kisses back up in between his words. “Whether it’s your kindness and loyalty…passion and perseverance in everything you do…that gorgeous face…or your beautiful body…” He finally reaches my lips, gently tugging on the lower one with his teeth. “…God, I could go on describing everything I absolutely adore about you. But just know this…you’re absolutely perfect to me and always will be…no matter what.” He says with a smile.
I regain some of my confidence and gently push him down on the bed, my dominant side showing as I straddle his waist and reconnect our lips. Tyler groans at the feeling and roughly grabs my hips, thrusting up sharply as he guides my movements. I gasp and smile as I feel him become hard underneath me through his jeans, my own arousal beginning to form in between my large thighs. My hands pull him back up as I continue rocking against him. He quickly moves his hands to my butt, grabbing a fistful of each cheek and slapping the left one. I immediately moan at the new feeling, unconsciously moving my hand to his hair. Seeing this side of Tyler turns me on even more, my body heating up at the sensation. I begin to slowly take off my sweater, hands shaking as I undo each button. He senses my nervousness and helps me with the last ones before sliding it off of my body. Tyler smiles at the lacy surprise underneath, his hands wandering every inch of my partially covered body.
“Damn, baby girl. I never knew you had this side to you.” He breathed out
“I always did, Tyler.” I explain, as I begin to unbutton his jeans. “I was just scared to show it because I was scared it would be with the wrong guy again. But ever since I met you and we became official, now I know.”
Tyler smiles and moves back against the headboard, kicking off his jeans in the process. I pull the covers over our bodies for warmth and begin kissing and biting his neck. I take his chin into my mouth before moving my kisses down; biting, sucking, and licking as I go along. I trace his chest tattoos with my tongue. I bite my lip and I think of a way to pleasure him as I disappear under the covers. I come face to face with his huge erection poking through the gap in his boxers. I pull them off before I slowly begin to lick the tip, earning a surprised yet pleasure filled gasp from Tyler as I suck on the head. “Whoa. Holy shit, Y/N,” he whispers in bliss. His breath becomes choppy as I take him further into my mouth. My right hand twists and rubs what I can’t fit. I smile to myself as he becomes a cursing mess under my touch, panting and moaning while thrusting into my mouth nonstop. I hear nonstop praises as I pick up the pace and continue bobbing my head up and down on his length before shoving the rest of him in my throat. “Fuck!” He yells, at the sudden action. I let out a moan at the taste and feeling of him, sending vibrations all over his length. Tyler pulls me back up to his face and kisses me again, clearly now even more turned on than before.
“Damn, Y/N,” He breaths out in between kisses. “You know as much as I’m absolutely loving this side of you, I really want to make you feel amazing, too.”
I pull away briefly, looking straight into his eyes and caressing his cheek with my hand. “Baby, you always make me feel amazing when I’m with you. Besides, tonight is all about you and your satisfaction.” I reply before kissing his neck
“Mmmm…well here’s another way you can satisfy me, baby girl.”
Tyler unexpectedly proceeds to flip me onto my back, making me gasp out of surprise as my head hits the pillow. He immediately smashes his lips onto mine and starts to move down my body. I feel him kiss my breasts; biting, sucking, and licking each one through the lace while pulling down my bra straps. He quickly unhooks the back before tossing it onto the floor. I feel the dreaded blush all over my face as he smiles at the view of my bare breasts, turning my head into the pillow in an attempt to conceal it. Tyler tilts my head towards him, my tomato shaded face on full display.
“Stop trying to hide yourself from me, babe.” He says
“Sorry.” I apologize “I can’t help it. I hate blushing in front of people.”
“Why? I think you look absolutely beautiful when you do.”
I’m about to argue when I feel Tyler’s mouth latch onto my left breast, making me moan at the feeling. His tongue flicks against my nipple while his hand works on my right one. He continues this before switching and repeating actions, finally removing my underwear in the process. He disappears under the comforter before roughly grabbing my hips and pulling my wet core against his mouth. My moans turn into screams as he continues devouring me, sucking and licking my clit while inserting two fingers inside me. I feel my body arch off of the bed as his fingers continue jamming into me, constantly hitting my sensitive spot. I’m almost at my peak when Tyler suddenly withdraws and moves up to my face.
My lips smash against his, my emotions of love and lust pouring into my movements. He begins wrap my legs around his waist, but I pull them back. Instead I roll him onto his back and sit on his waist, gripping his erection. Tyler immediately realizes my intentions and moves his hands to my hips, guiding me as I begin to slowly sink down onto him. “Oh fuck, baby girl,” Tyler breathes out in pleasure. I close my eyes and gasp at the feeling of him stretching me out, his size leaving me breathless as I slowly begin to move. My eyes open when my moans are cut off by Tyler’s, his orbs closed in complete pleasure. I move my hands to his chest and continue rolling my hips. Tyler looks up at me and smiles, clearly turned on by my slight dominance.
“You know, I’m absolutely loving this view of you. Damn, you’re a goddess (Y/N).” He compliments as he thrusts up, meeting my movements.
“I finally feel like one, thanks to you.” I reply and smile at him
Tyler smiles back and sits up, pulling me into another kiss. I wrap my legs around his waist, not wanting an inch of our bodies to be separated. His long fingers trace up my spine as his other hand lightly holds my cheek. My hands lightly massage his shoulders, making their way down to his tattooed chest. Tyler pushes me back so that I’m laying on the bed, not stopping with his thrusts. I close my eyes as the increased pleasure takes over my body, choked moans leaving my mouth and growing louder. My fingernails dig into his arms, shoulders, and back as he goes faster. Tyler lowers himself to bury his face in the crook of my neck, gently kissing the purple marks he left a while ago. The feeling of his nails digging into my hips, his lips on my neck, his constant pants, moans, and cursing drives me crazy and makes me more and more aroused. I feel myself nearing the edge as my walls clench around him, his throbbing member and increasing pace indicating likewise.
“T-Ty, I-I’m close,” I barely manage to get out
“I know, babe. G-go ahead. Let it go…Fuck!”
I almost scream as my body violently convulses, my orgasm finally taking over and pulling Tyler over the edge with me. My legs wrap around his waist as waves of pleasure pulse throughout my body. After what seems like an eternity, we finally come down. Despite the already present pain from our activities a moment ago, I get up, immediately realizing the mess that was made a few minutes ago. Tyler laughs at my reaction upon seeing the large wet spots from my orgasm on our comforter.
“Holy fuck, did I really do that??” I ask, my jaw dropping at the sight
“Yeah, you did,” he laughs, grabbing a towel to clean himself up “But don’t worry, you were absolutely amazing.”
“I’m really glad you liked it.” I smile before I start pulling off the covers. “Don’t worry about the mess, baby. I’ll get everything changed and cleaned up.”
“No. You need to sit down and relax. Besides, you can barely even walk. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.” I open my mouth to argue, but he cuts me off with a soft and sweet kiss. “(Y/N), you’ve already done so much for me today. Please, go ahead and relax. I’ll get everything cleaned up, okay?”
I knew that debating was pointless, so I nodded and went to lay down on our couch. I close my eyes and replay the events of our heated moment from tonight. The thoughts and replays of every kiss, touch, and thrust makes me smile. I look back on my past, and how far I’ve come with Tyler’s help and support. With Tyler; I no longer feel weak, worthless, ugly, or unwanted like I once did. I no longer feel like the fat girl that no one wants to date, let alone actually fuck. Thanks to him, I feel strong, powerful, confident, and beautiful in every aspect of my life. And I never could have achieved that with anyone else. My eyes open as my thoughts are interrupted by the sound of running water in the bathroom, my sight greeted by new sheets and blankets on our bed. Tyler emerges from the bathroom, now only covered with a towel, wrapped around his waist.
“Hi love, I have a bubble bath ready for us. You want to come in?” He offers
“I’d love to.” I smile as he helps me up, linking my arm around his shoulder as I lean into him for more support, my body still sore from our activities. I wince at the pain as I settle myself into the bathtub, catching Tyler’s attention. He looks over at me with an apologetic look, realizing the extent of his activities moments ago.
“Baby, I’m sorry I went too hard. I never meant to h-” I cut him off.
“No, Tyler don’t apologize.” I slide myself onto his lap, smiling as his arms completely embrace my body. “I loved it…every single minute of it. Yes, I’m in pain. But…it’s the best kind of pain I’ve felt. It lets me remember who I belong to. It reminds me that…I belong to an amazing man who truly loves me and makes me feel beautiful in every way. And…I really wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Tyler smiles at me before cupping my cheeks and pulling me into another long and passionate kiss. His hands wander town to my hips, caressing every scar and bruise that they came across. One hand leaves my hip, only to be replaced by the feeling of warm, soapy water running over my shoulders and onto my body. I return the favor, running it over his shoulders and back where my nails left scratches. Tyler slowly pulls away from my lips. I scoot off of his lap and lean against the other side of the bathtub, pulling him with me, allowing him to cuddle with his back against my breasts.
“Happy Belated Birthday, Tyler.”
“I’ve had the best one ever, thanks to you, babe.”
After I saw twd #168 cover I'm scared that Negan's gonna revert back to his old self but sometimes Kirkman's lying about the cover right? and I'm afraid most major characters are gonna die in near end of last issue
I personally don’t see it as Negan going back to his old ways as some other have. All I see is the Saviors apparently defeated and maybe kneeling to Negan in reverence (and Negan seems pleased about this, like maybe he’s pleasantly surprised he still has supporters). I think Negan is going to tell them to get up, that the time of the Saviors is over… but the thing is, is he going to be blamed for their rebellion? Is someone going to witness this and get the wrong idea, thinking Negan is still ‘bad’ and hungry for power? Or are the Saviors gonna get pissed because Negan is now a ‘traitor’ to them?
I want to see Negan tell the Saviors to lay down their arms and stop fighting, or to focus their bloodthirst on saving Alexandria and everyone’s future. I want the Saviors to fight and redeem themselves. I want Negan to plead to Rick to spare the lives of his people, just as Rick spared him. I feel like the Saviors were never truly accepted into the communities and then Dwight abandoned them and they are just angry and misguided… and I don’t want them to die because of that. I want my Saviors to be redeemed alongside Negan… and for them all to go forward into the story for many years ahead…
Anyhoo…that’s just my personal feelings on it…
(And yeah, I’m afraid for some major characters. Andrea of course, and I would hate to see an end for Michonne and Jesus. I’m also hoping Lydia makes it through because the poor dear really needs some happiness and hope in her life. But, of course, Negan’s safety is always my #1 worry.)
Going out to a festival tonight! 🏮It will be crowded and I will need to lug around my boy at times so I made a point to keep the sleeves of this coordinate simple and sleek. Brown under dress is axes femme, otherwise everything else is from recycle shops.
Ooo That was such a cute ask~ What if you and V were photographers together tho? What would that be like? ^_^
BITCH IM!!!! BOUTA,
a lot of me buying starbucks i already know it
i know V’s coffee order by heart but he usually has to text me the size he wants
“today’s a venti kind of day”
probably lots of my lugging around all of his equipment and like, holding the flash for him and shit
makes me wake up ridiculously early and i hat e him for it
driving to remote ass places to get certain pictures
he probably has some lame nickname for me like grasshopper and im just ??? why are you like this,
CATCH HIM TAKING PICTURES OF MY SOMETIMES
LIKE BOI WHAT U DOING!
omg this would actually be a really cute fic now that i think about it. MC studying under the master photographer V, and they grow really close and there are moments when they catch V snapping pics of them and,..,, im EMO NOW,,, dkskds i should write this