So a few of you have asked me to share my story about my life and my issue. So here we go, and if you message me saying anything hateful or hurtful it will be deleted so don’t even waste your time. I have always been very insecure. Through out middle school and high school I was always a little chunky, I wasn’t fat but i have very muscular legs and wide hips that fat seemed to sit on. I never thought of myself as pretty or anywhere near attractive at all. I hated myself. It seemed like all my friends were getting the guys and I as always the ugly third wheel. It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed. Towards the end of high school i noticed a change that really slowly came onto me. I started picking myself apart on the daily. Id stand in front of the mirror and pull and tug at my fat and cry for hours. I noticed a change in my moods as well. I started getting major mood swings, id flip out on people for no reason and cry for no reason. Years slater, everything took a turn for the worst. About almost 2 years ago I started becoming severely depressed. I’ve always suffered with major anxiety, but always knew how to control and baby it so it didn’t interfere with my life. But I was so sad and hurting because of my depression that my anxiety spun out of control. I started getting anxious about EVERYTHING, which included food. I was restrict what I ate, and sometimes didn’t eat at all. I would workout for hours and would run and do a lot of cardio making sure I burned over 1,000 calories in the morning and 500 at night. I was so anal about working out everyday and not eating much. I didn’t realize what I was doing, I thought i was being “healthy” and not realizing I was on the path to hell. I started binge eating and purging. It all started out by just doing it once, ONE TIME, and then it slowly became a habit. I wouldn’t even be hungry and id do it. Id purge 4-5 times on the daily, and when I wasn’t home to do so I just would eat at all if i was out somewhere and pull the classic “oh i already ate I’m okay”. I was killing myself. I went from 165 lbs to 90 lbs in less than a year. My hair thinned out, my skin broke out, I was skin and bones, and I wanted nothing more than to just drop dead. It was the worst feeling in the entire world. I wouldn’t leave my bed for days. I quit school, I quit my job, and I pushed very one I cared about away. I hated myself, and I hated my life. I decided one day that enough was enough, and I went to my dr and got prescribed anti-anxiety medication. I hated the thought of pills altering my mind set, but it was a step in the right direction. Those did help with clueing my head of bad thoughts, but the eating disorder was a totally different story. Recovering from an eating disorder takes a lot of time, energy, effort, and positivity. I’m still recovering. I still have my down days (like everyone else) but i’m getting there. I actually put food into my body and keep it down now. I’m slowly getting there, slowly but surely. And i’m doing it all on my own. I stopped taking my anxiety pills and stopped going to therapy. Both a personal choice because I want to be as strong as possible and prove that it is possible to push yourself to the extreme to get yourself through any situation. I’m not going to rehab, I am my own rehab. And guess what, its working. I have support from a few of my friends and family, and they’re one step behind me at all times just in case I need a back bone and a push again. It sucks big time to go through what I have to go through on a daily basis, and I dont think a lot of people really realize what i have gone through and am going through in my life, but thats okay. I am me, I am all my flaws. And thats how its always going to be. I suffered, I am suffering, but it has molded me into the strong individual I am today and I couldn’t be anymore blessed to say that.