Nice and easy recovery run. I kept my heart rate in zone 2 for most of it. My monitor blinks certain colors for certain zones…so I have instant feedback.

My hamstrings feel better post el scorcho. Finally. I’ve been icing and stretching. That’s helped. Today’s run they didn’t feel tight or sore. I feel like I’m getting over all of the aches and pains from San Diego. My legs, specifically my calves, have been bothering me on and off for 6 months now. It’s nice to not hurt. It’s also kind of strange.

Just in time to ramp up for nyc. I’m taking two easy weeks (one more left) then starting speed work again. Hello hanson plan. We’re about to become buddies again.

It hurts. All the time. Like there’s someone slowly sliding a sharp knife into my kidney and leaving it there. My legs ache, walking anywhere is like walking through thick mud. Anything more than a mile leaves me exhausted, aching and breathless. All my joints crunch like glass underfoot. I am never not in pain, it’s like it’s always there, reminding me, berating me, keeping me its prisoner.
—  Anon with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, PCOS, Chronic UTI and Kidney Damage

Okay I’m gonna go on a little bit of a tangent, so bear with me.

My friend sent me this picture of Mark doing the thing with his foot where he bends it in ungodly ways, and every single time I see a picture of him doing this, one question runs through my mind. How in the holy fucking hell does he do this without hurting himself?! I mean, look at the way his knee is bending right now. By all accounts, he should have either just completely shattered his knee cap or twisted the joint out of socket, but no. He just so happens to be PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE. No bone breaks, muscle tears, joint dislocation, not even a sprain! How in the HELL is this possible? The way his leg is bending should NOT be humanly possible without damaging something, and yet he’s okay. And don’t even try the whole “double jointed” stuff, I’m double jointed and I can’t do this.

And, not only is he bending his knee in ways it shouldn’t, his foot is backwards too! That should have at least torn a muscle or yanked the joint out of socket. Mark, why does your anatomy make no sense…

Dominate DC Week 4 Day 4

9 mile Trail Run

After talking with my Broach yesterday about my leg, having the day off, and spending a lot of time icing, we decided that I should still try and stick to the current training schedule with today’s run being the first real test. The plan was to run all 9 trail milesif my leg felt good and if it hurt at all to cut my run short. 

The run got off to a slow start. I had gotten about a half a mile down the trail when I started to feel those old familiar stomach rumblings so I turned around and went back to the start where there’s a port-a-john. After taking care of bushiness I started once again. As I got going I could feel some soreness in the shin that was hurting on Thursday but it wasn’t painful. I kept my pace slower just in case but I made it through the entire run without ever feeling pain in my shin. I’m very hopeful that this was just a random pain and nothing more serious but I’m still icing and taking it easy just in case. 

Later today I made it out to Running Etc. in Virginia Beach to pick up a new pair of shoes for road running. I was hoping to pick up another pair of Boost Ultras but they didn’t cary them. I’m in love with the Boost material so I tried on two shoes, the Boost Sequence and the Boost Glides…

I came home with the Glides. They’re not the prettiest looking shoes but they were definitely the most comfortable. Broach is onboard with my shoe choice too. He runs in them as well. I’ll start breaking them in tomorrow. 

*Edit: I forgot to mention this earlier but during today’s run I wore CEP Compression socks. I’m not sure if that had anything to do with why there was no pain today or not but I may run in compression socks for a few days. It can’t hurt right? Thanks brooke-being for putting that idea in my head!

[ blue sky ]

seventeen writings.

AU: none.

Pairing: reader x mingyu.

Genre: angst, i gues??.

Words: 722.

A/N: thank you to vernony & wonwoojpg for the help.<3

– Inspired by: nothing. just writing.

You ran, and you ran with all of your might. Your legs were hurting, and your head ached with thoughts. Your mind was racing. Where do I go? Would he search for me? Am I gonna take him back? But you needed to get away. Away from the house, away from the pain; away from him.

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anonymous asked:

I'm a afraid of needles, but I'm about to start testosterone. How bad does it hurt?

doesn’t hurt at all for me. After I do my shot my leg is sore for a couple minutes and then goes away! I enjoy doing shots because I know what it has done for me and it’s something to look forward to! But yeah I had a hard time self injecting in the beginning, I just kept doing it every week and made myself relaxed and after a while I stopped having anxiety about it! I wish you luck with your shots, it’s not that bad!

Bathrooms for me are terrifying because I can never tell if I pass as male or female so I just hope to god no one is in there. Walking out is the worst because if I don’t pass people think they went in the wrong bathroom but then realize they didn’t agree they see the sign. I get scared im gonna get hurt or followed all the time… I do a checklist. I have no hair on my legs, girl. Flat chest? Boy. Short hair… Either? What colors am I wearing.. Are my feet too small? It’s endless. I just never know..

So a few of you have asked me to share my story about my life and my issue. So here we go, and if you message me saying anything hateful or hurtful it will be deleted so don’t even waste your time. I have always been very insecure. Through out middle school and high school I was always a little chunky, I wasn’t fat but i have very muscular legs and wide hips that fat seemed to sit on. I never thought of myself as pretty or anywhere near attractive at all. I hated myself. It seemed like all my friends were getting the guys and I as always the ugly third wheel. It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed. Towards the end of high school i noticed a change that really slowly came onto me. I started picking myself apart on the daily. Id stand in front of the mirror and pull and tug at my fat and cry for hours. I noticed a change in my moods as well. I started getting major mood swings, id flip out on people for no reason and cry for no reason. Years slater, everything took a turn for the worst. About almost 2 years ago I started becoming severely depressed. I’ve always suffered with major anxiety, but always knew how to control and baby it so it didn’t interfere with my life. But I was so sad and hurting because of my depression that my anxiety spun out of control. I started getting anxious about EVERYTHING, which included food. I was restrict what I ate, and sometimes didn’t eat at all. I would workout for hours and would run and do a lot of cardio making sure I burned over 1,000 calories in the morning and 500 at night. I was so anal about working out everyday and not eating much. I didn’t realize what I was doing, I thought i was being “healthy” and not realizing I was on the path to hell. I started binge eating and purging. It all started out by just doing it once, ONE TIME, and then it slowly became a habit. I wouldn’t even be hungry and id do it. Id purge 4-5 times on the daily, and when I wasn’t home to do so I just would eat at all if i was out somewhere and pull the classic “oh i already ate I’m okay”. I was killing myself. I went from 165 lbs to 90 lbs in less than a year. My hair thinned out, my skin broke out, I was skin and bones, and I wanted nothing more than to just drop dead. It was the worst feeling in the entire world. I wouldn’t leave my bed for days. I quit school, I quit my job, and I pushed very one I cared about away. I hated myself, and I hated my life. I decided one day that enough was enough, and I went to my dr and got prescribed anti-anxiety medication. I hated the thought of pills altering my mind set, but it was a step in the right direction. Those did help with clueing my head of bad thoughts, but the eating disorder was a totally different story. Recovering from an eating disorder takes a lot of time, energy, effort, and positivity. I’m still recovering. I still have my down days (like everyone else) but i’m getting there. I actually put food into my body and keep it down now. I’m slowly getting there, slowly but surely. And i’m doing it all on my own. I stopped taking my anxiety pills and stopped going to therapy. Both a personal choice because I want to be as strong as possible and prove that it is possible to push yourself to the extreme to get yourself through any situation. I’m not going to rehab, I am my own rehab. And guess what, its working. I have support from a few of my friends and family, and they’re one step behind me at all times just in case I need a back bone and a push again. It sucks big time to go through what I have to go through on a daily basis, and I dont think a lot of people really realize what i have gone through and am going through in my life, but thats okay. I am me, I am all my flaws. And thats how its always going to be. I suffered, I am suffering, but it has molded me into the strong individual I am today and I couldn’t be anymore blessed to say that.

while in the concert @ everything before fob was awful.

 i was really anxious because of the amount of people (lik i have major/severe social anxiety) and so like… i was so scared it was making my chest tight and i oculdnt breathe and i had sharp pains in my heart and under my ribs.. 

all the weed smoke didnt really help tbh it was all around us (i didnt smoke/get high it was just fukcing everywhere)

so i ended up using an inhaler for the first time and i got a sip of water poured into my mouth by the concert staff (they do this for the ppl at the front apparently) and that helped some..

by the time wiz was gone / we were waiting on fob my feet and legs were so sore and shaking and my lower back was really hurting and it Sucked… 

when fob came otu tho i forgot i was in pain completely almost like.. the pain in my chest was gone almost completely and the only thing that i could feel hurting was my arms as i held them up to take pics/vids

I’ve got to go to the hospital super early tomorrow, I’m feeling pretty anxious about it. 
I know I’m going to have some different blood tests and I’m being such a baby about that right now and I don’t really know why. Even though I’m used to it all, I’m so scared of pain.
I’m scared of things that will hurt and I don’t cry but I am still scared. I’m not a very brave person, but I really try to be but it is tricky because the things I have to be brave about hurt. Sometimes a lot.
In six days I’ll get my new leg braces and that is something I am very excited about! 
I have no news about my new wheelchair, I probably won’t get it in time for the new school year, that makes me feel sad. 
I don’t feel like I’m living very much of a life right now, though I’m trying to think about the things I have to look forward to. 
Sorry for writing a lot about these sort of things on here. I think I’m just trying to think.

Mattress shopping, ugh

I’m going to have to go mattress shopping SOON. Mine is causing all sorts of issues for me.The most recent one is waking up with my legs tingling because my back is all wonky and messed up. And waking up every time I have to turn over (which is a lot because fibro is an asshole) because my back hurts so badly that the pain of turning wakes me up. It’s getting ridiculous. I don’t even want to go to bed because it’s just a place of misery for me.

So anyway, I’m going to take my pillow, a book, and a bottle of water to a furniture store, then I’m going to camp out. I’m going to speak to the sales people to explain that my back sucks, but that it’s impossible to tell if a mattress will hurt me unless I lay on it a while. I’m going to ask them to please let me be, that I will move if someone else is wanting to lay on whichever bed I’m on, and that I will ask questions if I have them. I’m going to lay for 45 minutes on each bed. I’m sure they’ll look at me like I’m insane, but dammit, it’s a big purchase and if it hurts me, then there’s no point in buying it.

So that’ll be awkward and weird. But if I find something that doesn’t make me write in pain all night, or wake up in tears, or wake up a thousand times trying to get comfortable, it’ll be WORTH IT.

anonymous asked:

What did it feel like to die?

For once he’s caught in a pensive mood, which made Hisoka a little more open.

“I was on painkillers the last week, so I wasn’t all there.  But I knew I was dying when all the emotions started to go quiet.”

Words couldn’t describe how scary that feeling was.  It was like waking up and realizing both your legs were sawed off, or that your eyesight was gone.

“My body had fought to stay alive for a long time then, so I was really tired.  I was on every kind of pill you could imagine.  Dying made me aware of how much my body hurt, because all of a sudden it wasn’t there anymore.”

Not that he was completely free now.  He was still exhausted a lot of the time.  He still hurt.  But it wasn’t like that, not the bone deep despair he felt at the hospital.

“For you it will be different.”

At least he hoped so.

My hands hurt from trying to defeat DJ Octavio in Splatoon.  He’s so hard to beat but it’s such a fun battle.  I’ve lost several times, and at one point I got to the last leg before he got me again.  After that I gave up because I knew I would have to start all over again.  I’ll try again tomorrow.

complaining about the mystery syndrome

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Made it to grandma’s house. I had to hold off a panic attack while driving. I was able to do so. Go me.

Now I hurt all over my neck shoulders back and jaw and even my legs

It’s been… Quite a day. Quite a week to be honest, and it seems like last night and this night were two distinct breaking points and I have to listen to my body but I’m busy trying to do everything for everyone else

I’m so tired that run on sentence almost made sense

Anyway, those who emailed me a bit later, I’ll send you all the specifics tomorrow, I’ll have plenty of computer time ^_^

Alaska had an accident for the first time in a long fucking time and I’m exhausted and we just got back home after being out of state and I snapped and yelled at her and I feel so awful and now she’s laying under my quilt with me and licking my legs all over like she’s apologizing and I’m on the verge of tears. My body hurts and I feel so lonely and I’m probably just pmsing. I know these feelings will all be ridiculous in a couple days but right now, tonight, I really need to be held and I need soft kisses and someone to fuck me until the sad goes away but the only person I want to do those things with isn’t here and tbh I don’t think things are going well there so.

dukeofellington said: Love this! I tried it after I saw hers too! Any tips for not letting the pole slide into your arse crack haha I just slip down every time!

I think the trick is to really lean forward! No matter what you do it hurts your butt, though T_T

I go into it as if I’m going into a Superman from an outside leg hang. I hang, pull myself up and put a hand up as if I’m going to go into Superman, but I flip the hand over and get into cup grip (like the start to Titanic/Illusionist - it hurts your thumbs if you forget to do this like I always do!) Then I let my legs slide all the way down and put the other hand on the pole quite a bit lower for stability. Then reeeeally lean forward - think nose to knees! And then bend your legs up. It should hold if you get the balance right! My butt hurts this morning…

Happy poling! <3