my-heart-stops-;-;

I think I found something when I first met you
the world fell quiet and the stars shined a little brighter


darling, I found the pieces of me I’d given away
the parts of my heart that stopped fitting


and the first time you said my name
oh, it was like my atoms finally slotted into place


you’ve got the universe in your soul
and I like how it burns

—  it matches the supernova running through my bones by Abby S

A painful price

Summary: A angst fic. That’s all I’m saying. Requested by @bhion-chan

Notes: …o.o



Everything was hectic, everyone in a panicked frenzy as touka, the Queen and my loving wife, went into labour. It started two hours ago and yet it already felt like days have passed by. My heart wouldn’t stop racing ever since this started and a sickening fear ate away at my mind at the thought that anything horrible could happen at any moment.

The pregnancy hadn’t been easy on touka these past nine months and saying that would be an understatement. The child had drained all her energy, every meal she ate, whether that be human food or meat, would only be threw up moments later. She was weak and showed no improvement.

In a moment of sheer desperation, I had went as far as to suggest that perhaps…It would have been better if we didn’t have the baby at this moment of time. Touka, of course, refused such a proposal, despite my desperate pleads for her safety. This child meant everything to her, so how could I have refused her of this precious gift?

I don’t know what to think anymore.

We had urgently called for doctors from the Great Wheel act and hoped that they could help with delivering the baby. They came soon enough and took touka into the next room where they were already prepared for the delivery. I, on the other hand, stayed in the next room with the others and paced back and forth constantly, my lip sore from the amount of times I bit it out of nervousness. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking either, my whole body tensed with a persistent voice inside me that fed me words of fear and bitterness. She won’t make it, it told me, she won’t survive.

Forcibly, I pushed back this voice and decided to focus on what’s important. It was a miracle that the baby made it this far to begin with, everyone seemingly convinced that it would have been consumed by touka, considering the mixture of genes within the child. But touka, that wonderful woman, refused to lose hope. It amazed me, in a way, that she held so strong to her faith that it would live on, that we could finally have a family to call our own. With her persistent positivity, I also began to look forward to seeing the baby. Our baby.

Keep reading

The livestream kept dropping out and now I know what a pararibulitis attack feels like because my heart stopped several times (though sincere gratitude to sharkcats​ for literally saving my life on this front). But here are some things I’m thinking about this episode, sweet jesus dicks in my mouth, what a wild fucking ride and a half that was.

  • I screeched at the screen when Silas was trying to lie to his mother. Even with the very existence of Wendimoor at stake, he couldn’t bring himself to say that he’d killed his beloved. He said that Pantos tripped on a rock and his head exploded which wow, there’s being a bad liar and there’s being Silas. And “there’s no such thing as Dirk Gently” is excellent because it suggests that the prophecy knows who Dirk truly is. It didn’t tell them to find Svlad Cjelli. It didn’t tell them to find Project Icarus. It told them to find Dirk. But I love Silas and would happily fight someone to protect him.
  • Within ten seconds Dirk and Todd are fighting over Mona, and within ten minutes Todd’s being demoted over Mona. It’s hilarious, but also super-ominous. I don’t think Max is going to go for the whole love triangle cliche but still, why wouldn’t Todd be stressed and intimidated by the sudden introduction of a childhood friend who has the same experiences as Dirk? Who maybe understands Dirk in a way that Todd never could?
  • Why was Todd asking for a phone call at the police station? Who the fuck was he going to call?
  • … what if he was going to panic and call Estevez though.
  • “This is easily the best interaction with a police officer I’ve ever had” yes Dirk, because the other two died.
  • Dirk in handcuffs after being free for a fraction of a second. Presented without comment.
  • Dirk saying “I love you” for the first time on screen. Also presented without comment.
  • It’s highly likely that Todd’s “I need you to help me find Amanda” and “we’re all being punished” is going to be the start of Dirk’s existential hellspiral into holistic anxiety and depression and rewatching this episode in a few weeks time is going to be very painful.
  • I appreciate how relatable Susie was for the majority of the episode because it really hammers home how utterly human she is, and I feel like that’s going to be one of the most tragic parts of her character. She does some housework, fixes her hair and produces a metric fucktonne of money and literally all of us would do the same. It’s a fundamentally comprehensible thing that she does. She finally responds to her son in the way we all wanted her to respond. She’s one of us until the precise moment when she’s not.
  • I did not at all enjoy seeing Amanda covered in blood. I did enjoy seeing her and Vogel continue their road trip. And Vogel baby, I know you’re missing your older brothers but you’re plenty scary enough by yourself if you need to be. Please never change.
  • Dirk has a colourful jacket again and it’s not what he would’ve chosen for himself, sure. But he’s wearing a mutant hybrid of his Blackwing uniform and a gift given to him out of the kindness of Hobbs’ heart and that’s probably a very good representation of where he’s currently sitting emotionally. He’s just gained two new friends on top of getting two old ones back and therefore he doesn’t care as much that he’s still marked on his jumpsuit as government property.
  • “A government prison for psychics” is Blackwing in a nutshell though, I don’t give a single solitary shit how good Riggins thought it would be.
  • Ken had one scene and literally stole the entire episode. Much in the same way that he hopefully steals Blackwing. But I’m hoping that in the same way Amanda can virtually throw Vogel at people who piss her off, it’ll turn out that Ken can throw the rest of the Rowdies in the direction of the CIA and watch as they wreak havoc.
  • So I’m assuming that if Priest hadn’t turned up, Martin could’ve just… killed Friedkin? Flat-out murdered him? Is this a thing that was going to happen on-screen?
  • The entire fucking scene with Friedkin and Priest. I just. I don’t have words to describe how much I adored their dynamic in a hideously villainous, entirely magnetic kind of way. Friedkin was so shaken up after Martin fed on him, much in the same way that he was shaken up after being attacked by the Rowdy 3 in Very Erectus, and he instigated the conflict both times and fully deserves all of the trouble he’s in but it explains so damn much about why he’s doing what he’s doing.
  • Priest was responsible for bringing in thirty of the original forty-two subjects and I’m willing to bet cold hard dirty cash that he captured Martin, Gripps and Cross (and can you imagine how traumatizing it would’ve been if he captured a much younger Vogel too). He knew how to deal with Martin. He’s so confident in his ability to inflict violence that he can say to Friedkin “ethics is not a priority” and “I’m no good” because he knows damn well that Friedkin’s shaken up enough that he’s susceptible to someone more forceful (and I’m down for a power struggle between Priest and Ken over ultimately control of Blackwing).
  • It’s unlikely as all hell but christ, what if Priest was the one to collect Dirk during Blackwing Mark I? How terrifying would that be for a small child? Where is this angst fest?
  • Boy oh boy, “I’m just a gun, Friedkin… I don’t do anything unless you pull the trigger” is a hilarious counterpoint to “don’t take the shot” because Friedkin saw his shot to be in charge… took the shot… and now he’s so far out of his depth that it’s not even funny. I don’t know what the moral of the story is here beyond “some shots just shouldn’t be taken”.
  • The Lux Dujour poster on the wall like surprise bitch, bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.
  • And I’m officially calling it now; Susie used to be a first-class grade-A bitch before the accident. Her now-deceased manager said that the accident was the best thing that happened to her and I know he was an asshole, but that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t be right about this. Her son said that he’s not scared of her any more. Her new behaviour is different enough that her husband is commenting on it with “none of it is going to fix what happened… you can’t change who you really are”. I’m thinking that if the accident wasn’t her fault, it was at least some sort of cosmic retribution. And I don’t know how i feel about the whole disability-as-karma trope but I’m also willing to give Max the benefit of the doubt and see where they’re going with it.
  • But speaking of Susie curing her limp. It was utterly heartwarming to see her on the trampoline and it begs the question; could she theoretically cure Todd and Amanda’s pararibulitis? Or could she make it worse? Because lordy may, that could be a clusterfuck and a half if she turns out to be the Bellatrix to the Mage’s Voldemort.
  • That ending rivals the ending of Watkin where Gordon Rimmer beats Sammy’s head in with the guitar. This is a villain coming into their own. This is our introduction to someone with depth and complexity beyond what we’ve been shown so far and it’s chilling because they were so close to being sympathetic in so many ways. “The silence is nice” is going to haunt me for the next week at least, holy shit. The final scene was a literal “kick the dog” moment. Max, no. Max, why.

And I’m going to spend the next week paranoid that the Mage is lurking behind me because of terrifying holistic reasons.

anonymous asked:

As much as I love watching the proposal on repeat I kind of miss that first time watching it live and my heart stopping when Jake said surprise. Like I wish I could relive it all over again

S A M E

when will someone buy me iris flowers, when will my skin be clear, when will my body stop aching, when will my heart stop feeling so heavy with regret from my past, when will people like me for me, when will i find my perfect fitting blue jeans, when will i ever love myself?????!!!!

smoltotoru  asked:

every time you post my heart stops because i know it's going to be beautiful and that it's going to break my heart :')

holy shit I didn’t think you’d still be here following me and sending me such nice messages given how irresponsible I’ve been with this blog (sudden unexplained disappearances, etc) like you were here for Iwaoi and then YOI and now Voltron like wowwww I’m super happy

I Don’t Think Jacob’s Captors Let Him Go By Accident

by reddit user nowwegotcha

Jacob became one popular dude during my sophomore year of high school, two years ago. In the middle of the year, he just showed up. His family had moved him away from their old home, but his reputation somehow got loose in the hallways.

At the age of twelve, Jacob had been kidnapped from his home in the middle of the night. His parents had been apparently drugged by an unknown person, and their son had been stolen. No one even called the police until the parents woke up. No witnesses, fingerprints, ransom notes, nothing.

Keep reading