wistful, adjective.

i. the poets weren’t lying, april truly is the cruelest month, because when the flowers bloom, you’re skirting the edges of my sight, tossing carefree, blissful smiles over your shoulder, hair snatching on the sunlight, eyes luminous with laughter & love—i haven’t forgotten what it feels like to burn for you, but april quells my fire with showers, douses my ruins with rain, washes them away until i’m left with a single handful of dust. it too slips from between my fingers.

ii. whenever i look up at the sky, i always stare at the stars & their drawings; i search for andromeda first, weave my fingers through hers, close my eyes & pray, pray fervently that these chains binding us will break, that these red threads tying me to fate will lead us to cross stars once more. i know it’s foolish to hope that this will be that time, that when i turn the key in the lock & open the door, you’ll be there. you’re somewhere not here, along with my heart. 

iii. every song on the radio reminds me of you. our song hurts the worst; it’s as if each note bears the claws of a dragon, raking & tearing at my flesh until i’m nothing but a rattling skeleton clattering hollow, brittle measures onto the floor. i hear that last fight on replay in the silence of our apartment, each bitter, damning thing i hurled into your outstretched arms echoes over & over, until it becomes a lullaby, & i’m dreaming of crushing your heart between my fingers.  

iv. i’m sorry.

—  it’s 1am and all i can hear is a phantom wearing your voice in my ears, whispering, “you should’ve fought harder.” // c.a.)

Masahiko is the only normal looking one in the bunch Remember when I said something along the lines of ‘a pokemon card set based on cgr’? I had made some sketches for that back then, and yesterday I traced them onto copic paper. And I added another two Azusa because why not. Honestly I thought I hadn’t traced the weird Azusa on the copic paper. I really thought I didn’t.