Mystic Messenger
  • Me: Mom! I downloaded a new app!
  • Mom: Is it another one of those dating simulators?
  • Me: Yeah, it's called Mystic Messenger.
  • Mom: Oh! I love that app!
  • Me: *deletes the app immediately*
mystic messenger!

Doctor: On a scale of 1 - 10, how much pain are you in?

Me: Mystic Messenger.

Doctor: *fumbles with phone, sweating nervously* Nurse, request immediate back up. We need to get this patient medical attention right now

Fanfictions have given me unrealistic expectations for real life ‘first-day-of college’/'walking-into-a-coffee-shop’/'new-kid-transferring-to-school’/'being-in-a group-project’ situations


Tom is your Tom problem.


“I think probably the most delicious surprise for me was the humor, to begin to discover that aspect of his character was, I think, undoubtedly used, in a conscious sense for some purpose, to make some point. There are accounts of people that came to ask him a question of, to them, great importance, found themselves in his presence, got a handshake, a story, and were out of the room before they even realized it. That’s good politics, but, I also think it was innately part of him. I think there was a very joyful element to that, actually.”   – Daniel Day-Lewis on what he learned about Abraham Lincoln 

↳ requested by @livesinyesterday