See, I’m feeling like any conversations we have are going to consist of someone saying something, and the other person saying ‘THIS’, and then we’ll cry about Jogan feels and send each other pictures of puppies.
The assumption Megan made about she and I when we first met, that turned out to be pretty accurate.
“What does it mean to truly love another? There was a time in my life when I thought I knew the answer: It meant that i’d care for you more deeply than I cared for myself and that we’d spend the rest of our lives together. It wouldn’t have taken much. You once told me that the key to happiness was achievable dreams, but yours were nothing out of the ordinary. North Carolina, family, the basics. It meant that i’d have a steady job, the house with the white picket fence, and a minivan or SUV big enough to haul our kids to school or to the dentist or off to soccer practice or piano recitals. Two or three kids, you were never clear on that, but my hunch is that when the time came, you would have suggested that we let nature take its course and allow God to make the decision. You were like that -religious, I mean- and I suppose that was part of the reason I fell for you. But no matter what was going on in our lives, I could imagine lying beside you in bed at the end of the day, holding you while we talked and laughed, lost in each other’s arms.It doesn’t sound so far-fetched, right? When two people love each other? That’s what I thought, too. And while part of me still wants to believe it’s possible, I know it’s not going to happen. When I leave here again, i’ll never come back. For now, though, i’ll sit on the hillside overlooking your ranch and wait for you to appear. You won’t be able to see me, of course. In the army, you learn to blend into your surroundings, and I learned well, because I had no desire to die in some backward foreign dump in the middle of the Iraqi desert. But I had to come back to this small North Carolina mountain town to find out what happened. When a person sets a thing in motion, there’s a feeling of unease, almost regret, until you learn the truth. But of this I am certain: you will never know i’ve been here today. Part of me aches at the thought of you being so close yet so untouchable, but your story and mine are different now. It wasn’t easy for me to accept this simple truth, because there was a time when our stories were the same, but that was six years and two lifetimes ago.”
I don’t know how I got so lucky with her, and I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve anything like this, but I love you. I love you, and you’re my best friend and I will never ever leave you.