Are you aware of your effect on men?:

I’ve only recently become aware of the heterosexual males who are into my music. I remember when I was 16, I had a boyfriend. I think he was… 25? I thought that was the best thing. He had an F-150 pickup and let me drive it one time. I was so high up! I panicked and was worried I might kill someone – run over a nun or something. I started to shake. I was screaming and crying. I saw him looking over, and he was smiling. He said, “I love that you’re out of control.” He saw how vulnerable I was, how afraid, and he loved that. The balance shifted from there. I had the upper hand – until then.

I’d have, and have still, though less frequently, this one dream - the kind that looks different every night but is really the same stays. It starts out happy. I’d kiss a boy - usually the one I had a crush on and then I’d promise to be his girlfriend and it would all be nice for a bit but as the dream day wound on I’d start to realize what I’d gotten myself into and I’d get more and more panicked and feel more and more trapped and my dream would become scarier and scarier until I eventually broke down and I’d scream at my brand new, confused dream boyfriend that we were over, that I couldn’t do it anymore.
And so I’d wake up, panicked, swearing to never get a boyfriend ever ever ever until I became awake enough to tell myself I was being ridiculous, that I was being paranoid, that of course I wanted a boyfriend because I was in 4th grade, 5th grade, all grown up. I’d lay in bed awake trying to set things right until it was time to go to school, and I’d get my little kid lunchbox and my little kid backpack and go to my little kid classes and look at the boys lined up across from me as we’d prepare to dance and I’d try to ignore that cold, rotting feeling I’d get when I thought about kissing one of them, and so instead I’d think about how it felt when my friend fell asleep next to me on the bus, the pleasant weight of her slumped against me, her black hair, hot with the sunlight, pressed against my neck, that slow warm feeling, and layer it over the sweaty hands on my back and my waist so I could bear it and I’d try to time my feet to the music so that if I spun around fast enough I could see her over my partners shoulder, on the other side of the room, dancing too

Abandoned - Michael

Requested 😻😻

Who doesn’t love Michael and kittens?! 😍😍😍


“Babe?” You hear your boyfriend’s panicked sounding voice on the other end of the phone.

“Mike? What is it?” You sit quickly, already worried, “where are you? Are you outside? It’s freezing out there!”

“I was on my way to your house, you know I don’t sleep properly without you” you can barely hear him over the sound of the rain, “I heard a noise, it was down an alleyway on the high street. Babe, someone left a box with kittens in it there.” You can hear the anger in his voice.

“What?! Wh-who would do that?!” You stand up, feeling disgusted at whoever would treat animals in that way.

“They’re tiny and so cold, I’m bringing them to yours. Is your dad in? I don’t know if they’ll be okay. They need their mum, but they were on their own. Can they even survive without her?! Oh my god, what if they die? They’re so small.” His voice is speeding up as his nerves grow.

“Mikey, just get them here. We’ll do what we can.” You try to push away your emotions and think of what your dad would do in this situation. Of course this would happen on the day your parents are at a wedding for the night.

You open the door to a face full of panic, his arms clutching onto a rain soaked box.

“Where’s your dad?” He looks round your kitchen.

“Wedding, remember?”

“Fuck. What do we do?” There’s rain dripping from his hair down his forehead. You hear the slight mewling coming from the box now on your kitchen table. Opening it, you see two tiny, rain soaked bundles of fur curled up together. The fact there’s only two fills your heart with dread. You know that it’s possible for a female to sometimes only produce even just one kitten, but this didn’t lessen your worry that there could have been more and something has happened to them.

“These have only just been born” you despair at another person’s cruelty, “okay, wait here.” You run up to find another box to put them, collecting your oldest, softest towels and rooting in your dad’s veterinary bag for anything useful. Luckily, he has a syringe in there and you know you have kitten formula in the garage. Your dad being a vet means that you’re always prepared for an animal emergency, thank goodness.

“Put the box close to the radiator and put all the blankets in there, then gently lift the kittens into it” you instruct Michael, who does as you say. His actions slow and gentle, so as not to cause them any more disturbance than necessary. Both of you take a kitten and a syringe, and start to feed them.

“Am I doing this right?” His brow furrows in concern.

“Yeah, you’re doing fine” you smile, “just only feed them a little bit at a time. They need food little and often.”

“You should follow in your dad’s footsteps” he chuckles.

“He made sure I knew the basics” you shrug.

“Hi there, little one” he looks down at the tiny kitten in his hands, “you’re so beautiful. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you’re okay. You’re going to be fine, I promise.” He continues to talk to the mewling ball of fur. You can’t help but stare at him. No one at school understood how you two were together. To outsiders, Michael didn’t seem, or look, sweet and gentle, but you knew differently. This side of him, right now, was why you fell in love with him.

“Keep him or her close to your body, they need to stay warm” you tell him, “they’ll need sleep soon.”

“Okay” he nods, holding the kitten against his chest, “can we tell if they’re a boy or girl yet?”

“Not yet, they’re too young” you shake your head, “but that one’s a girl.”

“How do you know?” He looks at you.

“She’s tortoiseshell, they’re always female”

“Hi, little girl” he kisses the top of her head, before placing her back in the warm box so she can sleep. You place the kitten in your hands next to their sister and watch them curl up together. You sigh heavily and close your eyes. You feel his hand take hold of yours and squeeze it tightly.

“How can someone do this?” You can’t understand their actions.

“I have no idea” he frowns, “but they won’t remember this, they’ll just know love and a good home. We’ll make sure of it.”

“If they make it through tonight then they should be fine”

“We’ll stay up with them then” he nods, “we can think of names” he turns to grin at you.

“Mikey..” You begin.

“What?” He interrupts you, “we can’t let them go now! They’re our babies!”

“But…we can’t…Michael!” He knows you won’t say no to them.

“Babe, look how adorable they are!” He pouts, “we can take one each, they can have sleepovers and then when we get our own place, we know they’ll be friends!”

“You’ve been planning this all along, haven’t you?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Perhaps” he looks sheepish, “you can have whichever one you want…no, you can’t, she’s mine” he looks down fondly at the little tortie.

“She’s going to have you wrapped around her paw” you giggle.

Original Imagine: Imagine getting hurt during a fight, and Stiles being your nurse for the night.

Author: Anon

Reader Gender: Female

Word Count: 630

Warnings: Little bit of blood, fluff and Batman.

“Scott do we have to tell Stiles about this.” I beg motioning to my injured body. 
“He’ll find out as soon as be sees you Y/N. Then we would both be in trouble.” Scott replied as he kicked open the door to Stiles house. 
“He has a first aid kit in the cabinet over there above the microwave and there’s another on up in his room.” I tell Scott. 
“Scott, Y/N? You guys back from- oh my god Scott what the hell happened? I thought you were going to see Derek.” My boyfriend said panicking. 

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Starbucks and Secrets

Title: Starbucks and Surprises

Summary: It’s just a confidence thing, but Dan doesn’t have the guts to make Phil a Howell.

Warnings: food mention, alcohol mention

Word Count: 628 (drabble)

Author’s Note: I wanted to prove to myself I can write fluff, but then I cried at it so I think I need to eat some chocolate and quit panicking over my mock tomorrow… anyway, for my bae ohmysisterdaniel <3 as always, if you’ve got a prompt or question just ask :)

It’s just a confidence thing, Dan tells himself. Always has been, always will be. He can’t change the flutter in his stomach when he sees that smile, and although he knows his boyfriend loves him and has for years, he still gets butterflies every time he sees that perfectly proportioned body or hears his silky soft voice.

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but just imagine, how before Frankie stopped at Rance family house, Zach was probably so so nervous. And he was panicking and checking himself out in the mirror, wondering how his family will accept Frankie, and looking through the window every 5 seconds if he is already there. And even if Zach didn’t consider this as “meet my parents” kind of thing, everyone in his family knew that this is exactly what it was <3

and it looks like it got over okay

which is why i like this pic so much :)

The 50/50 Mind Split of Being Single (and 30)

Growing up I was never the kind of kid dreaming of a wedding day. I played house but there was never any man or kids in the picture..just myself. My barbie was even a career woman (a newscaster in fact.)  I don’t know why but perhaps I couldn’t envision another person in my future? I was always picturing myself independent.

I’ve had boyfriends, almost got engaged (heard he bought a ring and I panicked), done plenty of the one nighters, menu dated, etc. nothing really stuck. No one has ever wow’d me enough for me to want to spend my life with them. I have always felt when it was my turn it would happen. No big deal.

Turning 30 and being single has created so much pressure.  People are pairing off & starting the next chapter of their lives filled with weddings, house buying, &  kids, people start to remind you- you “only have a few more years” for starting a family, and your family starts to grow concerned about your single status. My mom particularly is slightly worried I will forever be alone & who will help “take care of me,” some day. My grandmother is mentioning it weekly.

50% of my brain says: WHO CARES to all that. I can do this shit on my own, “I got this.” I work hard, I support myself, it’s not the end of the world if I have to continue my life as a single person. If it was meant for me to find someone – I would. I’ve got plenty of time (I’ve said at 24,25,26…)! I don’t want to be disappointed if I am actually alone forever, so telling myself “who cares” is partially a coping mechanism….I won’t be disappointed if I prepared myself.

The other 50% says: WHAT.THE.FUCK. Do you really want to be alone? Never have someone to come home to? What are you going to do at 40…50…60…? Do you want to come home to lean cuisines, a dog, and your DVR forever? You probably need a person. Who is going to make sure you are even alive in your house?

I don’t know what part of my brain is going to win over or if there is even a right side but turning 30 has partially been a reality check.  What do I really want and how do I feel happy in the outcome? 

Preference #115 You/He catches your teenage daughter in bed with a boy:

You whistled as you got home from work and started making dinner. Darcy had asked if her boyfriend of four months could come over for dinner, you and Harry of course said yes. You both had met her boyfriend Conner once or twice and very much approved of him. “OH MY GOD” you heard your daughter shriek. You panicked and ran up the stairs and burst open the door to find Darcy and Conner in bed together. “Ahh” you screamed closing the door quickly. “Oh shit” you heard Conner say through the door, chuckling slightly. “Um I’d like to talk to you when you uh have a chance Darcy” you said calming down a bit. After a few minutes Darcy and Conner had met you downstairs, holding hands. “Hey guys, would you mind setting the table for dinner? Harry should be home in ten minutes or so” you said. They both had this blank look on their face. “Did you hear me?” You asked as they stood still. Darcy gulped. “Yes mom” and with that they started to set the table as you had asked. “We’re finished” Darcy told you. You glanced over at the table. “Oh it looks great guys” you chirped. They looked at each other cluelessly. “Is something wrong, you two seem rather quiet” you said. “Uh don’t you…um…well- ” “aren’t you gonna lecture us about sex?” Conner said bluntly, interrupting your stuttering daughter. You laughed lightly. “Look I’m assuming that was your first time together?” You questioned. They nodded. “I know your first time with someone is special, and I’m sorry I interrupted…I mean anything I can lecture you about I think you both already know. Use protection…you used protection right?!” You panicked. “Yes mam’” Conner answered. “Please don’t tell Dad! Please mom it’ll be sooo awkward Darcy blurted out. "Let’s make a deal guys, I won’t tell Harry if you promise me to ALWAYS use protection, make sure consent is always given, and please, please make sure no one else is in the house” you said, laughing at the end. “We promise” they said in unison. “Okay if this happens again, I’ll be having this talk with you two and Harry as well” you said sternly. “It won’t” they said and almost on queue Harry walked in. “Hello everyone, what are you guys up to?” He asked. “Oh we were just having a little chat” you said smiling at the two.
“Yeah and then he was-” Niall stopped in the middle of his sentence. You were siting against Niall on the couch, your back pressed to his chest and your legs lazily intertwined. You turned you head to face him. “what’s wrong?” you wondered. But rather than getting an answer from him, you got a “Shhh”. As Niall had a concerned look on his face. He was listening for something. You tried to listen too, but you didn’t hear anything. You studied his face his expression some sort of mix between shocked, confused, angry, and nervous. “Niall, baby what’s happening?” “They’re fucking” he muttered. “They what?!” you almost yelled, though you had heard him clearly. “I can hear moaning. Paige and Matt are fucking upstairs” he said slowly as if he didn’t even want to let the words leave his mouth. “What the hell do we do?” you panicked. “Should we go up there?” Niall wondered. “And risk seeing them or even hearing them? No thank you!” “Good point. Well if they aren’t done in 5 minutes I’m going to set off the fire alarm so they’ll quit it” he told you. You laughed “Good plan. I mean this day was bound to come right?” “I guess, but while we are here in the house? Really?” he questioned. “You know when we were her age, we were much worse…” you said softly. “Yes remember when you came over and met my parents for the first time and I gave you a tour…and then I showed you my room, and I showed you my bed” he whispered, his warm breath tickling your ear. “How could I forget?” you laughed. Niall leaned down to kiss your cheek and down your Jawline. “Woah are we interrupting something” Paige chuckled as she had just made her way downstairs, Matt right behind her. “You should not be talking young lady, we could hear you two from down here so keep it down next time!” Niall warned as both of the teens blushed deeply. “Or just wait till were not here, Damn it” you added.
“Welcome home honey!” you said, greeting Liam with a hug and a kiss as he got home from work. “Hello, beautiful” he smiled. Just as he was about to ask about your day you both heard a loud shuffling/banging sound. “What was that?"he wondered. "Well Taylor’s upstairs with Kyle” you said nonchalantly. The banging noise grew louder and you thought you heard a moan. “Oh no…she told me they were studying.” you said quietly. You looked at Liam as he started to tense. “Oh hell no” he said starting to storm upstairs. “Liam no, stop!” you said holding his arm, so he couldn’t go any further. “Can we talk about this first?” “no” he muttered, continuing upstairs and pounding on the door. “Get your damn clothes on and Kyle get the hell out of this house” he said without daring to open the door. He came back downstairs to find you sitting at the table with your hands folded, an unpleased look on your face. “What?!” He questioned sitting across from you. You ignored him and moved to sit on the couch. “You aren’t actually giving me the silent treatment right now are you?” he said following you. You glared at him then turned your back to him. “(Y/N) What did I do wrong? Come on talk to me, lets talk through it”, almost instantly you whipped your head around “Talk through it? I tried to talk to you before you stormed upstairs and yelled at our innocent daughter and her boyfriend!” you yelled. Liam looked shocked. “innocent!? They were fuc- they were having- well you know what they were doing!” he said, struggling to put his words together. “Yes I know what they were doing…and I hate to admit it but honestly I think she’s old enough.” you trailed off, knowing Liam’s protective nature would disagree with you. “What?!” he almost yelled. “Liam she’s 18 years old, she’s practically an adult, we approve of Kyle and I’m sure he treats her well, they’ve been together for over a year so it’s not just some fling, and I think if she believes she’s ready for sex, then she is” you said, unsure of how Liam would respond. He sighed and put his head in his hands. “Was everyone ready for this besides me?” he croaked out. You rubbed circles on his back. “Aww baby, I know our little girl growing up fast, but we can’t hold her back from doing the things she’s ready for” you told him, pressing a kiss to his temple. Kyle then came down the stairs, his hair messy, his clothes thrown on, looking as embarrassed as ever. “You can stay Kyle, we’re sorry for um intruding…” you trailed off. He smiled brightly, “He can stay? really?!” Taylor said, coming down the stairs shortly after. “Yes, I’m sorry for how I acted, just in the future…please be careful…and Kyle, please just treat her right” Liam said. You knew it was hard for him to say, so you placed a reassuring arm round him. “Of course sir” Kyle said.
“Louis?” you said, turning to him. “Hmm?” he wondered. “Did you hear that? I think that Megan and-” you were interrupted by your daughters voice. “Ahh Yes!!”. Louis’ eyes widened, though he didn’t look mad. “she must have forgot that we’d be home early today” you said awkwardly. “Maybe we should leave?” Louis wondered. “Yeah lets do that” you laughed as the moans started to get louder. “We should leave them a note though” he said with a smirk on his face. You weren’t quite sure what he was up to but he grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen and started to scribble some words. ‘Dear Megan and James, we hope you’re having a blast, actually we know you’re having a blast because we can hear you all the way down stairs. To give you some privacy, and so we don’t have to hear you guys have sex. We are going out for lunch. Use protection! , With love mom+dad’ the note read. “Lou she’s gonna be so embarrassed.” you laughed. “She should be”
“Zayn can you tell Valerie and Tommy that dinner is ready please?” You asked your husband. “Sure.” he answered. “VALLL! TOMMY! DINNER!” Zayn yelled from the bottom of the stairs. But there was not reply. “ugh I swear those kids have hearing problems” He joked, though slightly annoyed. “Hey why don’t we go upstairs to sneak up on them and then scare them!” you recommended. “Okay lets do it” Zayn agreed. So you both tip toed up the stairs and down the hall to Val’s room. You heard a bit of shuffling and soft whispering coming from the room, but were only focused on the surprise attack you were about to do. “okay on the count of 3” zayn whispered. “1, 2, 3…. SURPRIS-” you started as you opened the door. But instead of seeing them jump in fright, you and Zayn had jumped too, because you had just walked in on your teenage daughter having sex. “OH MY GOD GET OUT RIGHT NOW” Val screamed. You shut the door as fast as you could and tried to erase the image from your mind. You and Zayn rushed into your shared bed room. “Oh my god” he said. “ugh, I- I- Oh my god….what even…” you panicked. You sighed and looked at Zayn. He looked rather embarrassed and you were sure you’re cheeks were red too. Before you knew it you and Zayn were laughing at the awkwardness of the situation

A/N: Haven’t posted in awhile, I miss you guys!  Hope you like this one! <3 Also, Requests are open again! :)

“I have terrible separation anxiety; and my boyfriend is a senior while I’m a sophomore. I’ve been panicking even more since the school year is almost over about him graduating. One day I came home sobbing about it. To calm me down, my mom turned on Disney Week on Destination America where they talk about the Disney parks and hotels. It cheered me up so much; I even started planning a trip for my family to get my mind of my boyfriend going to college. It has helped me so much!”

we need to educate ourselves on mental illnesses more.

because my mom doesn’t think i have depression; she thinks it’s just stress.

because my ex boyfriend told me that i should fix my anxiety before i get in a relationship with someone.

because my dad said that my anxiety attacks don’t just come from nowhere.

because my teammate gives me shit for missing class when my depression holds me hostage in bed.

because my coworkers don’t think my anxiety is real because i’ve never panicked (on their terms) at work.

stress shouldn’t be the reason suicide has crossed my mind multiple times over the past 5 years.

anxiety isn’t something you fix.

anxiety isn’t something i can control, and it’s not always driven by something.

nothing has to be “wrong” for depression to decide that it’s gonna act up today.

panic attacks aren’t always heavy breathing and shaky hands.

we need more mental illness education so i don’t always have to fight with people to prove that something’s wrong with me. i don’t like my issues either, but i don’t make excuses about them.

anonymous asked:

could you do 1, 11, 74, and 80 with clint? thanks much love!

1. Or else what? | 11. … ignore that explosion. | 74. Is that my shirt? | 80. This is about as normal as it gets around here. Prompt idea list here

When you came home, you were not expecting to see your boyfriend, Clint, clutching your second favourite shirt in his hands, a wild look in his eyes. When you saw what was on it, your jaw dropped.

“Clint! Is that my shirt?! Oh my god, what is that?” You pointed in horror at a huge tan stain, splattered across the front of your shirt.

Clint panicked and tried to hide it behind his back. Guilt was written all over his face. “(Y/n)! Uh… ignore that explosion on your shirt. It’s not as bad as it looks, I swear! I’ll- I’ll fix it, o-or…”

You dashed forward and snatched the shirt from him. “Or else what? Buy a new one? This is one-of-a-kind! Wha-what did you even spill on it?!”

“It-it’s just coffee,” he said. He took a few steps back. He knew better than to face your wrath. “I was just about to wash it before you came in!”

You groaned. “Can’t we go at least one day without a disaster?”

He bit his lip and attempted to make a joke. “Nah, this is about as normal as it gets around here.” He smiled awkwardly, but you didn’t laugh.

You rolled your eyes. You shoved the ruined cloth into his arms. “You better get this stain out ASAP, or you’ll be in big trouble, mister!”

So I’ve just completed my enrolment for my return to University. I failed my PGCE Teaching course last December and it’s been a long, difficult road since then. I’ve been depressed, stressed, had money troubles, trouble finding a job, my boyfriend dumped my a month after I failed out of uni and never spoke to me again (his loss), I’ve cried and panicked and lost hope over and over again but I’ve also laughed harder, worked long hours with a smile on my face, met so many good, amazing people at my job at McDonalds and become an overall stronger and better person. I’m more confident in myself, I’ve pulled myself back from the darkest place I found myself in and I just feel so… determined. I have my dreams and I have the work ethic to make them happen. Next July I can and I WILL be walking across that stage in Manchester, in my cap and gown with my head held high with the knowledge that I made it.

I also want to go back to December/Janurary me. I want to wipe her tears, hug her tight and tell her that we are making our way through this. That although we have our ups and downs, we’re surviving, we’re making our dream come true. We’re confident, stronger and know what to expect this time around. It won’t be easy but with all we faced and would face until September/now, we will do it.

This isn’t the end of the stress and panic, it’s the beginning of a stressful year but also one I know I can survive this time. Not because I’m naive about what is coming, that it won’t be that hard but because I know it will be hard. I know how to play the game and hopefully, this time I’ll win.