my-50-husbands

Fist Bumps and Life

As I was quickly scrolling Tumblr this morning and came across @jamesandclairefraser post about being with her mom in the hospital and I started thinking about the “big picture” and where and how we find our comfort and solace in this life. I too sit with someone, my husband of 28 years, at home with ALS. He is completely dependent on me, drools on himself all day, has pain, frustration, cannot talk, eats through a tube…….a formerly vibrant, athletic, kind, giving, articulate, creative man. Yesterday some close friends visited us. The woman has stage 4 lung cancer and has survived for two and a half years. What the disease has done to this wonderful woman is devastating. I have another friend who has Alzheimers and is cared for by her husband. The woman with cancer is in her mid 50s, my husband 59, the woman with Alzheimers is early 60s. LIFE IS TOO SHORT PEOPLE. There are too many things in this world to be sad about every day. For me, the fist bumps, twitter banter, the rugby, T2……..they make me smile, they make me laugh. What is wrong with that? I have plenty of situations in my life to make me sad if I choose to focus on them. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. There is always someone in the world who has a worse situation. I CHOSE LIFE. I will laugh at the fist bumps, the analysis of whose hands they are and I will squee with delight over all the positive banter, pictures, etc. WHY NOT? Its fun and many of us need that in our lives. It doesn’t hurt ANYONE. I could care less if someone laughs at me for it. Someone laughed at me yesterday because I told them I wanted to visit Scotland because I found out I have ancestors on both sides from the Highland Clans and I feel a real spiritual connection to the area. I could care less what they think……I’m going. So, choose to live your life, whatever that means for you. Laugh, squee, and rejoice. Excuse me while I go find someone to fist bump, send a donation to WCC, and go reread yesterdays banter to start my day with a smile.

  • Me, on my deathbed: *grasping the hand of my husband of 50 years* There's something I need to tell you before I die
  • Husband: *tears streaming down his face* What is it, sweetheart?
  • Me: Min Yoongi is the only person I ever truly loved. You...you never even came close"
  • Husband:
  • Me:
  • Husband:
  • Me:
  • (Because I've died)
4

top two: entire bookcase+closeup on the otoge section (aka doujins galore) minus my shelf with all my cds/dvds/BDs (those are on the second to bottom shelf and you can also see my pile of Revolutions cds that I can’t fit there OTL)

middle: about 75% of my figure collection plus 50% of my notorious husband shrine (cries you can see a little sliver of the phone case I can’t use anymore)

bottom: other 30% of my husband shrine+Haruka bc he wouldn’t fit on the shelf and my Kurobas figures are already taking up my dresser (and I wanted to keep Masato with the rest of Starish)

(other 20% of the husband shrine is in the form of all my pillows/plushies/clothing/and the necklace which is in that utapri jewelry box that came out a few years ago)