my sunshine my everything come back to me

Voices

2015.07.15

The voices whisper in the night,
When the world is void of light.
Darkness looms from the corners of my mind,
Bringing thoughts of the most cruel kind.
In the morning, everything seems okay;
The sunshine keeps the fears at bay.
But sometimes it slips through the cracks,
Doubts and anxieties all flow back.
The thoughts keep resounding in my head,
Like pounding drums til I see red;
Blocking out all reasons for sanity
And I’m left a puddle of flaws and insecurities.
Day becomes night and with it comes monsters;
The person in the mirror becomes a stranger.
And the voices are back with darker thoughts
Telling me all my efforts are for naught.
So I sit alone in the middle of the night,
Hoping for just a little ray of light.
Waiting for a voice to tell me it’ll be okay
And give strength to fight another day.

anonymous asked:

Hi! It's sunshine. I know you've left aim for a bit, but I miss you and I hope you see this! <3 I hope everything is good. ilu.!

I sincerely apologize because other than the fact that this is a very late reply, I can’t even remember who you are… I don’t recall ever calling anyone sunshine (because people called me that lol) and if I ever did I’m not sure that went on long at all. Please help jog my memory, it feels like it’s been ages. ;;

Anyway, while I’m at it, I should probably let you and anyone else reading this know that I’m not coming back to my last aim, but there is a possibility that I will make a new one once I can come back to rp. Now isn’t a good time, however I’m currently working on revamping Thorn. If you still want to talk to me though or have tiny rp threads (not necessarily with Thorn), you can drop me a message and I will give you my kakaotalk.

Again, I’m really sorry I suddenly disappeared! I will come back eventually.

P.S. this was an ooc post.

Hobby Lobby is doing their interviewing and hiring on Monday! Everything is really just… falling back into place, really fast. I won’t put my two weeks notice in at work yet, not until I’m more confident I’ll have a position. But I think I will. I mean…come on, lmao. I’m a perpetual ray of sunshine. Bubbly, cute, and confident and now I have the experience to back me up.

It’d be nice to get paid what I should be getting paid.

Because $15 an hour for an associate’s position sounds wonderful lmao

I’m geeking out with my cousin over it right now. We’re both super excited, hnnnn. We have the same last name, though…but everybody in this area is a Sharber or a Williams. The families own most of the land around here and have done so for generations. It’d be easy enough to shrug and say “We might be related, but I’ve never heard of them. There’s a lot of Sharbers around here.” and it wouldn’t be bogus at all lmao. I’ll have to down my cleanser on Sunday evening.

Lord, I need this job. 

Things are looking up and lets hope they keep looking up.

3

Ah yes, college. The institution of higher learning. It’s that time of year where bright eyed freshman are moving into their dorms, and perspective students are drooling (and stressing) over the possibility of their futures at school after school, collecting booklets upon booklets. I, myself, am one of those booklet collectors. 

I have been excited about the idea of university since before I can even remember. Sure I got excited looking at wedding dresses, or prom dresses, but thats just the stereotypical female side of my brain ooing and awing over sparkles. What really got my heart racing was university. College boys, art classes, no parents telling me to come home by 11. And as I have grown, while these are for sure still factors in my excitement, the idea of being able to have my life in my own hands, to be able to do anything and everything with little holding me back makes me very happy. However, its not all rainbows and sunshine. 

Falling in love with a college is like falling in love with a person; you know when it feels right and you put your whole self into it, doing your absolute best to make them love you too. Sure you may have a less than fabulous track record (be it ex’s or grades), but you try to not let that hold you back. Now see, the issue comes in when it is their turn, to love you (or to accept you). You stress, you lose sleep because you want to be with this person (or college) more than you can explain, and if rejection comes, you’re crushed. But you (and I) have to remember, that if it doesn’t work out, IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. It obviously wasn’t meant to be, presently, anyways. Who knows what the future holds? At least this is what I tell myself.

I have never really been one to stress about grades, as I know that I try my best, however, I too have recently fallen in love with a school (go Northeastern), and I want to be there with everything in my being, so I’m going to try my damn hardest to make that happen. But, to all my fellow high school students out there, we have to keep in mind that just because we don’t get into our dream school year one of our undergrad year, doesn’t mean life is over. Maybe the universe is watching out for us because we’re supposed to be somewhere else. However, if you are dead set on going to one place? Transfer, apply for grad school, apply a year later. High school makes it seem like if you don’t get into that one school, life is over, but I promise you, it isn’t. 

So keep your heads up boys and girls, do your best, and get excited because its soon to be our turn to take on the world.


P.S Northeastern I love you and (hopefully) I’ll see you soon 

I miss you. I don’t just mean stupid stuff or 8 words. I fucking miss you and since your gone the smiling part of me has left too. It hurts deep inside, slowly I feel I haven’t just lost you but I’m losing myself. Everything, every fucking damn things reminds me of you, or your sweet smile and your soft laugh. And the early morning rise and the way you drink your coffee. The way you look so beautiful without effort. You are my sunshine and it’s so cold and lonely without your brightness. I miss you, I miss everything about you to the way you smile and the way your shine your light around and lighten up others around you. I miss you, please come back soon.
—  You know that feeling deep down inside, that feeling of pure loneliness and emptiness. I still miss you and I still will no matter how long is been. You’ll always be there in my mind driving me crazy.