my brain was in the gutter today

Right to 'BARE' arms

Today in Phys ED, our principle went over the dress code and specifically talked about the girl’s clothes. When asked why she didn’t cover the male dress code, she responded with “Guys brains are always in the gutter. Trust me, I’ve been married for over 40 years. My husband’s still in the gutter. Us girls have to cover up for the boys.” I was super pissed, not only because she’s blaming us for being a distraction, but because she was dumbing guys down to be nothing more than perverted idiots with no impulse control. I can’t wear heels over 3 inches because it’ll distract guys? Fuck off.

The girls went into the gym where the guys were, and all of the guys had rolled up their sleeves to be tank tops, and rolled the stomach part up to be a crop top. They were screaming ‘AS AN AMERICAN, WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO BARE ARMS!!!’

Apparently they had overheard what we were being told.

For all of class, the guys in first period PE were rocking skin and promoting equality. It was priceless.

We are playing a friend’s tabletop campaign that he calls “Valentine’s Day Special” as he has more or less custom-made it for the players present. Throughout the campaign we warp from one place and time into another and every shift takes us in a time or place of some of our previous campaign. Eventually we end up in a fortress I know from my first ever tabletop campaign. During my past adventure, my and my party managed to trip a magical trap that caused part of the fortress to flood. One of the characters is a little… impulsive engineering warrior. 

GM: “You come across a shut door with a big painted sign that says: ‘DANGER! DO NOT OPEN!’”

Me: *OOC* “Is it locked?”

GM: “It’s locked.”

Me: “Can I peek through the keyhole?”

GM: “There is no keyhole, the door is completely solid.”

Me: “Oo-kay.” *in character* “Guys, I think we should just move on. I don’t feel like causing any extra trouble for us today." 

Warrior: *OOC* "I want to break the door.”

Me: “What?”

Warrior: “Break the door.”

GM: “Roll for strength.”

He does and succeeds. His character takes his axe to smash the door.

Me: *in character* “If this goes to hell, I swear…”

GM: “The door shatters and a water floods in, washing all of you down the stairs.”

Me: *in character* “DID YOU LEAVE YOU BRAINS IN THE GUTTER OR DO YOU JUST HATE ME?!”

Cue everyone laughing as my character cursed the flood that had brought her trouble now twice.