me in 2017: hey! you! did you know that, after a less successful album in 2009, Tegan & Sara will put out two successful synthpop albums and cross over into the mainstream and even have an Oscar nomination and performance on their resume?!
me 2007: no way!
me 2017: and did you know that Sia will become a wildly successful pop songwriter and performer including 7 top 20 hits, 5 top 10 hits, and two #1 hits: one that was performed by her and another by Rihanna?
me 2007: shut. up.
me 2017: Ellen Page is a lesbian.
me 2007: I KNEW IT.
me 2017: and Kate McKinnon will become the first openly gay woman as a regular on SNL for which she would go on to win TWO Emmy awards. she also starred in a Ghostbusters reboot!
me 2007: wait, this Kate McKinnon? from The Big Gay Sketch Show?!
Me 2017: yep! she even shared an epic kiss on live television with a beautiful woman who played Wonder Woman.
Me 2007: WOW. 2017 sounds like heaven, filled with unicorns and rainbows!
did they ever legalize gay marriage?!
Me 2017: in 2015.
Me 2007: who gets elected president? is it Hillary or that Barack guy? or…a Republican…
Me 2017: Barack Obama! he serves for two terms as our first black president.
Me 2007: I can’t wait for 2017!!!
Me 2017: HOLD UP. Hillary loses the 2016 election to DONALD FUCKING TRUMP. there’s institutionalized violence towards blacks and violent hate crimes towards trans folk. a Muslim ban. threats to deport children of undocumented immigrants and to “build a wall”. Women’s and gay rights are being taken away. racism, homophobia, and sexism have become mainstream. White supremacists are called “activists” and openly march among us now.
Me 2017: sorry.
Me 2007: *curls into fetal position and continues to listen to “The Con” on repeat*