my tw meta

Let me get one thing straight though… Even if Bucky didn’t have innervation in his arm (aka he couldn’t feel anything other than just pressure, ergo couldn’t feel the arm being blown off) he most definitely felt the searing hot metal that was attached to his fucking shoulder. The metal was glowing red hot where it got blown off. Like if you leave the end of a spoon over an open flame and then grab the other end you still burn the shit out of your hand. So imagine your entire shoulder/biceps is made out of metal and the end of it is so hot that it’s glowing red. You don’t think the skin and bone and muscle it’s attached to wont be burning? Like imagine hot metal touching your bones. Bone pain is literally some of the worst kind of pain you can feel and Bucky had searing hot metal attached to his bones. And beyond that it’s still burning his skin, his ligaments, and his muscles. It’s beyond just burning your hand on a hot object because the metal is integrated into his shoulder. And worst of all he can’t get the thing off. He can’t drop the hot spoon because it’s part of him.

So yeah tell me again that Bucky wasn’t in excruciating pain after that

Alright to add to my previous post about rowaelin vs tamlin’s abusive ass:

Do you know what Rowan does when he realizes the extent to which Aelin has suffered in her life? He flies off, to go demand answers from his queen, fucking Maeve, because he’s furious she hid those important details from him. He’s going to question Maeve, his master. Then he realizes that Maeve likely left those details out for a reason, so he flies back, worried that Aelin will think he left her alone intentionally. He moves her into his own room so he can tend to her and care for her himself. He pampers her. This is the exactly what Aelin needs and the perfect response given her character. She loves being pampered and she had expressed previously in HoF the desire for even one person to care for her. Rowan starts to care for her as soon as he realizes that she needs it- was he a dick before hand? yes. absolutely. but as soon as he realizes her pain and how much she needs someone, he quickly becomes utterly devoted to her.

Now Tamlin?? How many times does Tamlin ignore Feyre’s requests to have more independence? How often does she try to ask him for freedom? How much does it take out of her to ask and be denied each time? How long does it take Tamlin to realize that he’s hurting his partner and the woman he claims to love? What does Tamlin do to help Feyre when she is depressed and suffering from PTSD and an eating disorder? Does he care for her? Does he comfort her? Does he do everything in his power to help her? Does he listen to her needs and her wishes? Nope. Nah. He decides to lock her up in the house, doing the one thing, the one obvious fucking thing that someone who spent time locked in a cell under a mountain wouldn’t be able to handle. He does the opposite of caring for Feyre. He does not listen to her cries for help. He systematically perpetrates abuse and emotionally manipulates her. 

Rowan listens as soon as he knows Aelin needs him to care for him. He is there for her, unwaveringly, from that moment onwards. And what’s more, Aelin doesn’t ask him to care for her or stay- he picks up on her need for him instinctually and does what is best for her. Feyre was fucking screaming at Tamlin for him to help her and he did the opposite. 

Finally, Rhysand is completely different from Tamlin as well. Once he has the opportunity to help Feyre- and UtM he was incapable of truly helping her in a way other than indirectly and under the guise of being loyal to Amarantha- he does everything, everything in his power to help her. He answers her plea for help at her wedding. He takes her to Velaris, which essentially functions as a safe house for her as a victim of domestic abuse. He gives her power, and independence and freedom and most importantly: he listens to what she wants. When Feyre gets angry with him, he adjusts his behavior. When she needs space, he gives it to her. 

So don’t try to argue that Rhysand and Rowan are abusive in the way that Tamlin is. Because while both Rhys and Rowan make mistakes and hurt their mates, as soon as they realize the hurt they have caused, and as soon as they are able to help, they do everything in their significant power to heal, care for, and love Feyre and Aelin. 

And that, my friends, is the difference between an abusive relationship (Feylin) and a normal relationship that has its flaws and ups and downs. Listening and respecting your partner is the key.

let's talk about Bucky’s brain

I dunno if anyone’s done this before but whatever. Specifically, I want to talk about Bucky’s brain in relation to the cannibalized MRI thing they strapped on his noggin in CA:TWS. Like what the hell is that thing, how old is it, what are you trying to do HYDRA, is this one of those weird dryer things you stick your whole head in at the hairdresser’s? They have had 70 years to perfect this technology and it looks like a high schooler’s science fair project. There aren’t even any electrodes. Seriously there should be electrodes not only because they’re kind of necessary for this sort of thing but also because who would object to Bucky Barnes looking totally punk rock with a partially-shaved head? No one, that’s who.

But I guess let’s just assume the plate things themselves are in contact with his head and transmitting the charge themselves. Okay. That’s a big area they cover and approximately zero opportunity for finesse, so they can’t localize the damage at all. And there’s still all that hair in the way. But whatever, I’ll shut up about the hair.

So the plate things are basically concentrated on the prefrontal cortex, which is at the very front of the brain, behind the forehead where the plates are located. I mean there looks like there are plates going around around the back of the head but if it only goes as deep as the cerebrum they don’t want to damage anything back there because it’s all motor skills and balance and sensory perception and language centers, all of which were vital in the Winter Soldier’s functioning. 

So yeah, the prefrontal cortex seems to be what they’re targeting, and the prefrontal cortex is for short term memory and decision making. However, it would be indescribably stupid to damage short term memory retention, so I don’t think they’d just fry the entire prefrontal cortex. Especially if it could compromise his ability to make quick, logical decisions in the field because the prefrontal cortex is important for logic and impulse control. So I would assume that they’re targeting the connections between the short term and long term memory storage systems rather than taking away his short term memory altogether. 

Basically, recalling a memory that’s stored in long-term is just the brain returning it to the short-term memory center, or the working memory, concentrated in the prefrontal cortex. From there your brain literally refires all the neurons that fired during that experience, without compromising awareness of current circumstances. So severing those connections between long and short term memory would not only stop him retaining new memories, it would stop him recalling old ones.

They could be messing with his long term memory, except there are no intracranial bits and bobs that could actually penetrate deeper than the cerebrum without frying everything in between, and the hippocampus and amygdala where long term memory is stored are in there deep. 

This picture doesn’t do justice to how deep in the brain the hippocampus and amygdala are, but it works well enough as a visual aid. You don’t want to damage the amygdala in a super soldier at any rate because that’s where the survival instincts are kicking around. Also, damaging the hippocampus on both sides of the brain would turn him into a potato, unable to retain any information at all, not even how to discharge his weapon, so you’d basically have to retrain him anew for every mission. And this contraption has clearly no finesse at all, as stated above, so I really don’t think they’d be able to destroy anything only partially or make any localized alterations.

And sure, maybe they actually opened up his head at some point in the past to get at long term memory storage, and the cryofreeze might stop that from healing, but I think the understanding of the brain was so ridiculously limited at that time that they didn’t really even know how to avoid excessive damage, and I don’t think they would have risked rendering one of their best assets brain dead. Honestly, I think the most likely thing they did was supplement the physical stuff with more traditional brainwashing and conditioning techniques.

So really, all Bucky needs to do is repair the connections between his long term and short term memory. Even with all this damage, the brain is adaptable even in normal humans. When certain parts are damaged, other parts can take over functioning in their stead. Although in this case, if the connections between long and short term memory were cut every time he went into the cryogenic chamber, he never would have stored any of the information gleaned as the Winter Soldier past the short term unless he managed to catch enough sleep to transfer those memories into long term storage before he got zapped or frozen again. So he would potentially remember everything about being Bucky Barnes fairly quickly, assuming his super soldier healing could repair those pathways or create new ones to compensate, and he would never remember most of his time as the Winter Soldier except what they wanted him to remember and let him encode before they took out those connections again. So basically, his combat training, his obedience training, and all that hydra indoctrination crap.

His old memories as Bucky would remain relatively pristine, because the more we view a memory the more current circumstances during the recollection alter it, and what you remember becomes less and less similar to what you actually experienced at the time. So instead of memories slowly changing and evolving as the person themself changes, which is what normally happens as we revisit memories and subtly alter them over time through new perception, Bucky would have this huge, disorienting, sickening divide between the well-preserved, untouched old memories of how he used to be and any new ones he managed to create as the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier memories will be less fleshed out, have more holes, be generally more ghost-like because of how they fucked with his brain and memories, so it would be easy for him to dissociate with them and to ignore them, but in order to ignore them Bucky would also have to ignore their consequences. He would be denying a part of himself. And he wouldn’t be able to deal well with their fallout, with the ways those experiences changed him, because he wouldn’t let himself examine them.

Honestly this is horrifying in its own way. All the fic I’ve read talks about how horrible it must be for the Winter Soldier to forget Bucky Barnes, but very little touches on how horrible it would be for Bucky to be all there and have a stranger in his head that he has few, dissociated memories of, but still retains a lot of that conditioning and finds himself acting like someone he doesn’t even remember being. He would feel betrayed by his own body and his own mind, doing things without knowing why he was doing them. I feel like not being the same Bucky as the one who went off to war would be so frustrating to him. Fics paint it as Steve being frustrated by the fact that Bucky’s no longer the same person, but I think Bucky himself would be far more frustrated by that fact than Steve. I think the fact that he’s not the same would bother him more than Steve’s longing for him to be the same, because he would understand that longing, share it even. I think he would dissociate from the foreign Winter Soldier part of himself, would try to bury it or force it out instead of facing it, would hate whatever memories he did retain from that time, because the Winter Soldier terrifies everyone but I think he would terrify Bucky most of all. And it would make sense, too. After all, the winter soldier was always supposed to be a ghost, the unseen threat, the silent killer, and I think, rather than inhabiting Bucky, the Soldier would haunt him, something he can’t prepare for or fight unless he’s willing to look through the dark to find it and confront it.

(All images blatantly stolen)

The problem I have with the argument that “Tamlin didn’t know the note Feyre sent was really written by her, especially since he didn’t know she could write and read now. He had every reason to think it was suspect” is that it so closely mirrors the type of rhetoric that people use to forgive abusers and reshape narratives of abuse in real life?

I mean it’s pretty simple:

Feyre = domestic abuse victim

Velaris = safe house

Inner Circle (and specifically rhys and mor)= people who help her escape abuse and get to the safe house

I mean, how many times, in real life, do we see domestic abusers angry and upset that their victims have escaped them? How often do those abusers go after their victims? I mean, that’s why the locations of safe houses are secret! That’s why there are entire networks of people devoted to keeping those houses safe and secret (the wards on velaris!!!!) Because abusers will try to prevent victims from leaving. And the reasons they give? “No one loves you like I love you” “I’m whats best for you” “I won’t do it again” “You can’t leave me because if you leave me I’ll do x, and x” 

I mean, abusers, don’t exactly listen to what their victims say.  They don’t listen to what the victim wants. They just…abuse and abuse and don’t really care about the victim’s opinion or wishes.

Fairly often, abusive husbands are angry when their wives and children escape and go to safe houses. They literally….will hunt women down. 

So Tamlin’s reaction to Feyre leaving is…fairly in line with how abusers react in real life. He doesn’t listen to what she wants. It’s fairly clear that Feyre was unhappy…I mean her depression and eating disorder are obvious. She vomits from nightmares every night.  It’s clear that she wasn’t being hurt by Rhysand all those times she went to the Night Court for a week and came back unharmed. She told Tamlin she was okay. She told him she was uninjured. So…Tamlin ignoring Feyre’s note is just another instance of him, an abuser, ignoring his partner’s wishes. It’s not a mistake on his part, nor is it an example of him trying to protect her. 

It’s an example of an abusive man thinking that he knows better than the woman he is abusing. 

Tamlin sends Lucien to HUNT FEYRE DOWN. He literally hunts her…to try and forcibly bring her back to the Spring Court. And yes, Feyre pretends to be all evil so that Lucien won’t know about Velaris but…Tamlin still doesn’t give up hunting her. He allies with Hybern in order to get her back. It’s sick and fucked up.

So I really…do not care that Tamlin might have had reason to think the note wasn’t from Feyre. Because at the end of the day, it’s just more of him being an abusive prick. And the logic of “but he didn’t know if she was okay!” mirrors how people in real life try to frame abuse. We constantly see this narrative in literature (fifty shades!) and real life that the abuser was just trying to do what was best for this victim and “didn’t mean” to hurt her. Okay well…ultimately it does not matter that Tamlin “didn’t know the note was actually from her.” 

Would Tamlin have listened to it even if he had known, unequivocally, that it was from Feyre and represented her wishes?

Nope. Because…he doesn’t listen to her wants and needs even when she’s speaking directly to him. He didn’t allow her any freedom in the Spring Court even though it was killing her. Literally, she was wasting away. He didn’t care then, so why can we assume that he would have listened to the note had he known it was from her? We can’t. So you can’t really make the argument that “Tamlin didn’t know it was from her” because either way…his actions would have been the same.

He’s interesting in controlling and “protecting” Feyre, aka abusing her, he isn’t interested in listening to what she wants. 

The argument that Tamlin didn’t know the note was from her implies that had he known, he would have acted differently. And that’s a false argument given what we know of his direct interactions with Feyre in acomaf (abusive! ignores her wants and needs). And…not only is it a false argument…it’s the type of argument that in real life…would be really detrimental to abusive victims.

Imprisoning someone “to protect them” - a persistent theme in The 100

Since the beginning of the show, The 100 writers have explored the theme of imprisonment to protect someone, where the imprisoner argues that their actions are justified because it’s for the prisoner’s “own good” or to “save them.” We’ve seen this line of thinking from Bellamy, repeatedly towards Octavia in season 1 and once towards Clarke in season 3 (the handcuffing incident), and repeatedly from L.exa towards Clarke in season 3. Now, we’re looking at a similar situation between Bellamy and Clarke, except the roles are reversed. At this stage, this concept of imprisonment to save someone has become an important theme of the show, which also ties into the larger theme surrounding the justification of actions motivated by the need to survive.


First, let’s look at how Bellamy’s character has been used to explore this theme. Way back in season 1, Bellamy attempted to imprison Octavia in the dropship, firmly believing that he was justified in doing so because it was to “keep her safe.” From the outset, Octavia resisted that argument, and Bellamy’s attempts to control her “for her own good” were a constant source of tension between them. We also saw that thinking re-emerge in 3x05 (Hakeldama), when Bellamy handcuffed Clarke, literally telling her that it was “for her own good.”

So, the writers established this line of thinking for Bellamy early on, showed us that it was unacceptable (with regard to Octavia at least), and then went on to develop him away from that position. Since season 1, Bellamy and Octavia’s relationship has gradually moved toward the point where Bellamy now steps back and allows Octavia to make her own choices, as he should.

The last two episodes (4x09, DNR, and 4x10, Die All, Die Merrily) have made pointed, unmissable statements about Bellamy’s evolved perspective on this issue. In DNR, Bellamy faced off against Jaha to defend Jasper, Harper, et al.’s freedom to choose their own fate. This was literally a case of Jaha wanting to imprison people in the bunker to save them. There is no question here: staying in Arkadia = certain death. But, this time, Bellamy was firmly on the other side of the argument. To hammer this character development home, the writers had Monty explicitly ask Bellamy what he would do if Octavia were on the other side of the door. His response: “At least I’d get to say goodbye.” This is huge growth, but not sudden. Bellamy has been developing in this direction since season 1.

Then, in case anyone was wondering whether Bellamy’s statement to Monty was all talk, he got a chance to prove it in Die All, Die Merrily. Here, he stood back as Octavia chose a route that meant almost certain death. Not only that, but he was given a truly excellent line, where he advised Octavia to be “the girl under the floor.” Here, the writers showed us that Bellamy still instinctively believes the safest option is for Octavia to be hidden away, that that core belief hasn’t changed. BUT, Bellamy now accepts that Octavia has the freedom to choose. He knows that imprisoning or controlling anyone is unacceptable, that it creates a toxic relationship. The writers haven’t used the word “abuse” (as far as I know), but it applies once a pattern of controlling behaviour and imprisonment is established. So far, the message from Bellamy’s arc is clear. This kind of behaviour is NOT OK.


In contrast to Bellamy, Clarke has been on the other end of this behaviour. When L.exa imprisoned her, L.exa told her that “there was no other way,” before revealing that she actually “needed Clarke.” The argument in 3x03 (Ye Who Enter Here) that the imprisonment was “to save” Clarke was quickly undermined by L.exa’s admitted political motivations, since she needed Wanheda’s power and a supporting voice on the council. However, when L.exa forcibly reminded Clarke that she was a prisoner in 3x05 (Hakeldama), I do think her motivation was purely personal. So, these are more examples of imprisonment being used to protect someone, on face value at least. Although L.exa’s controlling behaviour was unacceptable and its duration and consistency established an abusive relationship, Clarke did not seem bothered by that aspect. She was angry with L.exa for imprisoning her, but I think she recognized L.exa’s political and then personal motivations and accepted her justifications. Similarly, Clarke was devastated when Bellamy handcuffed her, but she seemed to automatically forgive him. In that case, I think Clarke saw Bellamy’s attempt to imprison her for her own protection as some kind of misguided but harmless act of caring. Why do I think this? Because Clarke has just repeated this behavior herself, in 4x10 (Die All, Die Merrily). So, unlike Bellamy, she still believes that imprisoning someone for their own protection is OK.

To me, this looks a lot like behavioural re-enactment combined with normalization. Normalization occurs when an abuse victim comes to accept the abuser’s justification for their behavior and, thus, regards that behaviour as normal. Another outcome of normalization is that the abuse victim ultimately repeats that behavior, because they’ve been conditioned to think it’s acceptable and justified. What Clarke did to Bellamy at the end of 4x10 is very reminiscent of L.exa’s treatment of her. She had him taken into the bunker against his knowledge and against his will, to keep him safe from Praimfaya. In the promo for next week, Clarke seems to be threatening Bellamy with a gun to prevent him from leaving. If she is doing this under the rationale that it is “to keep him safe,” we have a clear parallel with the examples above.

Going forward:

So, what now? At this point, Bellamy’s development is conveying the message that imprisoning someone for their own good/safety is never justified. I actually think the scene with Jaha, Jasper, and Monty in Arkadia was included specifically to showcase this development and to make this point. At the same time, the writers have being showing Clarke mimic various leaders all season, with a lot of her choices being portrayed in a negative light. Now, she’s repeating L.exa’s treatment of her. I hate making predictions, but I hope that the writers will use the apparent confrontation between Bellamy and Clarke in 4x11 to firmly state that imprisoning someone for their own good is completely unjustifiable and unacceptable. They’ve already done it, but not with Clarke and not in such a clear parallel with Clarke’s experiences. Since the main character’s previous acceptance of this abusive treatment from L.exa seems to have generated a worrying acceptance among some of the audience as well, I hope this issue is addressed in a scenario directly involving Clarke.

To finish off, I just want to point out that this theme ties in really well with the major themes of the show. Essentially:

Do I have the right to imprison someone to protect them? => Is any action acceptable if I am saving someone else? => Is any action acceptable if I am doing it to survive?

The writers have posed these questions at various times and provided different perspectives, and I assume that they are gradually building towards certain conclusions. To me, the answer to the first question is clear, and I think Bellamy’s development reflects that. Since this kind of behavior is a serious problem in the real world, I hope 4x11 will be used to highlight the danger of controlling behaviour in a relationship, to acknowledge that an abusive pattern can develop from such behaviour, and to emphasize that this behaviour is unacceptable regardless of motivation or rationale.

I really want to talk about the conclusion of the Lost Children arc, and Jill’s importance as a character.

One thing I see a lot of Berserk fans wish for is that the series could go back to the darker tones of arcs like Lost Children, the latter half of the Golden Age, and of course, the Black Swordsman arc. But the lighter mood is something that’s actually been developing since the manga’s beginning - it’s been gradual but it’s been consistent, and all the different characters Guts has encountered on his travels have been meeting better and kinder fates. Colette died horribly and had her corpse desecrated, then Vargas died cleanly and with hope of being avenged, then Theresia survived and carried physical and psychological scars as the price…and now Jill lives too; not undamaged, but she makes it out clean and strong and hopeful. And even though the Lost Children arc contains piles of dead children and shows Guts at one of his lowest points morally, this is the moment where the light breaks through at last.

And Jill is the character who brings this light into the story, and an incredible amount of hope too.

Keep reading

sad dirk headcanon time

so in episode 5 when todd’s putting bright pink plasters on dirk’s scratched up face, dirk looks disappointed and wistful and asks ‘why did they have to be pink?’ kinda sadly. this just seemed a lil odd to me, considering dirk obvs has a thing for bright colours and is anything but hyper-masculine

likely reason: dirk just isn’t a fan of pink, it’s not his colour, whatever

my sad reason: dirk associates pink with bad things

Keep reading

So, if Chess is Stiles’ game. Stiles making Derek his King meant that he believed Derek was to be saved at ALL COSTS, or the game was over. 

While under torment from a trickster spirit wanting chaos & strife, Stiles basically pleaded with anyone who knew him well enough to understand the board, to protect Derek at all costs.

The scene with Derek/Peter, about the board, Derek cannot fathom someone actually caring about him so much. Peter gets it.

In TLD, when Sherlock meets Faith, Sherlock is already withdrawing. We see his hand shake. He’s not used for a few hours at least, and by the time he goes out into the night, that’s a full night of wandering without any express usage. He says he’s high, which he probably is, but it’s gotta be residual… this is important because it means when he loses his grip on reality, first where he screams on the bridge with Faith on the bench and then with the Culverton mind palace scene, he seems genuinely out of place and disoriented: he’s been using for weeks. this isn’t his usual reaction to heroin. Wiggins points out that he’s ‘had too much, and that’s HIM saying that’, but we never see him ‘top up’ and yet he makes a point to do so in front of John so they’re not shy about showing that sort of thing.

Is it possible that Eurus drugged him with DT12 during this time? Perhaps when he begins losing it on the bridge, he seems to black out for a moment or two, which would give Eurus time enough to drug him and then scarper? 

idk, the whole scene where he’s walking up walls and freaking out doesn’t really seem like a heroin symptom; heroin is a numbing agent. it leaves you feeling detached and floaty, it’s not a psycho-stimulant. it shouldn’t make him hallucinate the way that he does. I’m just thinking out loud mostly but I think it’s possible Sherlock is dosed with something other than heroin, which is why he goes off the rails the way that he does, because heroin doesn’t really explain the insanity of his walls and the shakespeare speech - unless he’s using cocaine on the side, too (because all of that screams stimulants, not depressants). 

just thinking out loud mostly

@whatiwassuggesting @watsonswaltz @the-7-percent-solution

anonymous asked:

as the nogitsune, why is Jackson always seen as an asshole for his behaviour when he was the kanima? If Scott, Allison, Lydia, Stiles, Derek, ALL of them are never held accountable for their shadier actions through the seasons bc they're fan favourites, then why is Jackson? Jackson and Lydia's relationship was toxic in places, absolutely, and that was acknowledged and, you know, a plot point that was addressed and we were left with the potential for it to be repaired and to grow. Which to me (2)

is beautiful. Yes, Jackson displayed some abusive behaviour. So did Lydia. Yet Lydia is always regarded as a ‘queen’ so obviously that’s different *sideeyes fandom* (3/3)

((aaah my inbox seems to have eaten (1/3)??? jeez i hate when that happens, but i think i can infer generally from here. also this is possibly a lot more rambling than you were expecting lol))

i know what you mean here. the difference in the treatment of Jackson’s abusive behavior and Lydia’s abusive behavior is pretty obvious within fandom from what i’ve seen, probably because of the underlying cultural insistence that men are somehow More Abusive than women and that men “can’t be abused” and even that emotional abuse/manipulation isn’t as harmful as physical, all of which is bullshit. if someone’s gonna call Jackson on his shit, then they need to call Lydia too.

that being said, we really didn’t get to see Jackson move past that behavior like we did Lydia. we got 4 more seasons of Lydia being Better, but Jackson just disappeared. we saw him hit rock bottom but never got to see him come back up, and that’s really where that disconnect in sympathy lies, i think.

where the other characters are concerned, i can’t exactly say with any authority. i know different factions place heavy blame on Scott/Derek/Stiles for the things they do and other factions absolve them completely, and personally i think both movements there have their faults. (and tbh i’ve never seen anyone really criticize or critique Allison’s actions which i find very strange cuz damn did she go dark for a while. i’d like to read some meta on her if anyone can link me to some good ones, lol).

but again, with all these characters^ we get seasons of growth after their shittiest behaviors. we get to see them move past it and develop healthier relationships and better coping methods for their emotional trauma and such, which we didn’t get with Jackson. with him we got 2 seasons of abusive behavior, a crisis, a very brief resolution that offered light at the end of the tunnel, and then absolutely nothing after that. we didn’t get to see him redeem himself the way he could have and the way it was implied he was going to, because Colton left the show. which is one of the biggest disappointments i have. T_T

as for comparing kanima!Jackson and nogitsune!Stiles (which i think is what the first ask was about?), i’m not quite sure if it’s entirely comparable if only because the kanima wasn’t controlling ALL of Jackson’s actions. what Jackson did between his transformations and the blackouts that came with them was on him. it’s sort of implied i think, but we don’t have any sort of confirmation that being the kanima affected his personality or anything outside of those shifts. until much later in the season, he didn’t even know he was being affected at all.

the only moment i can really think of where his unshifted actions didn’t seem to be entirely his own was when he attacked Allison in the locker room. that’s the only time he seemed really out of control of himself without actually being the kanima, and that’s the only reason i can think of that might convince me that he was being influenced behaviorally all the time.

he was totally a shithead that season, there’s no denying it. he was mentally and emotionally falling apart for a number of reasons, and may or may not have been under the influence of Matt (who we know was stalking and obsessed with Allison which might might explain the scene ^^?) but that doesn’t excuse how he treated Lydia.

whereas with Stiles, the nogitsune took complete control of him for an extended period of time and his actions during that time were genuinely not his own. there was nothing of Stiles in the nogitsune’s, and likewise there was nothing of Jackson in the kanima’s actual violence or murders. neither of them should be blamed for ANY of that, but it’s what happened between the episodes of literal possession that we blame Jackson for because, as far as we(i) can tell, that was just him being in emotional distress and lashing out at everyone around him because of it. which, while at least on some level understandable, is not justifiable or okay.

momtaku  asked:

I don't know if you've seen the discussion around Nanaba's final moments, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I’ve seen enough. 

I feel like I’m not even in my own body when I’m reading some people’s posts and comments. My stomach drops out and a wave of nausea crashes over me. My hands start shaking. I have to look at something else; I have to get up and walk away. I blocked a user for their comment on someone else’s post. One person’s addition to the discussion, a screenshot of something they saw somewhere else, made me gag.

It’s hard to focus on this because every time I think about what other people have said about Nanaba’s death, about what they feel it’s done for her character, I feel… I don’t know. My heart hurts. It aches. Not for the character: she’s not real. But for other reasons, I think–for what Nanaba as a character stands for and the messages the addition sends to those of us watching: none of them as positive and well-intentioned as I think people want to believe.

This is a character I have loved for a long time, and a character I have invested myself in. More than that, and without giving away my personal life, due to my upbringing I honestly and truly feel that I need to add to this discussion. But it’s hard to find the words. There’s so much to be said, and so many claims by others in this fandom I wish to address. And thinking about explaining why these claims are wrong just makes me feel clammy and cold and sick.

I cannot deny that when I saw that scene, when I watched it happen, when I heard Nanaba begging her father to stop hitting her and realization dawned on me, my stomach fell so fast and hard I got lightheaded. I’ve never in my life had such a reaction to a piece of media. I had to rewatch it three times to make sure I hadn’t imagined it because I didn’t quite feel like all of me was there. But the full scope of what I feel now was not brought about solely by that addition: the only thing I can blame for that is fandom’s thoughtless, ignorant reaction(s) to it.

Edit 17 May 2017: I added to the discussion about Nanaba:

Part One
Part Two (Addendum)

greyjoyriding  asked:

hi there, just quick question for fic purposes - any thoughts as to the taste of milk of the poppy? as often as it's mentioned in asoiaf, i haven't found anything in the text indicating whether it's bitter or sweet. i came across an old post of yours in which you said that dreamwine is probably bitter, so would it be reasonable to conclude that milk of the poppy is too?

The interesting thing about milk of the poppy is that… well, the “milk” part is really strange, when you think about it. OK, see, in our world, opium is made by scratching the seed pod of the opium poppy, then the white latex “milk” seeps out and dries, and then later the dried brown waxy product is collected and dehydrated. This brown waxy substance is opium, and can be smoked, or powdered and mixed with alcohol (to make laudanum), or distilled into morphine or heroin, or otherwise used in a variety of ways.

But in ASOIAF, the potion called milk of the poppy is a thick white liquid, that can leave a white film around the mouth when drunk. (Like a very weird “got milk?” ad.) So, evidently the milky white latex of the poppy stays liquid somehow? Perhaps the maesters collect it before it dries, and mix it with something – maybe actual milk or cream, maybe some kind of chemical or distilled spirit (although hot distillation doesn’t seem to exist in Westeros yet). Or maybe they do collect it as a dried product, and grind it into powder and mix it with milk, or something like that?

There’s also a way of making a narcotic “poppy seed tea” by washing poppy seeds in water or alcohol or lemon juice or vinegar, then straining the result. (Please don’t try this at home, people have died.) That reportedly produces a yellow-to-grayish liquid, however, nothing like how milk of the poppy is described. And there’s also poppy seed milk (aguonu pienas or khas khas doodh), which is made by soaking poppy seeds in water, then grinding them, and squeezing the product through cheesecloth over and over again until all the liquid is extracted. (You can see a video of this process here.) This produces a thin white liquid that looks like milk… but by most reports it’s not narcotic, as the insides of poppy seeds don’t contain the alkaloids of opium. (It can still mess you up on a drug test, though, and people say not to let little kids drink it as it does have a slight sedative property.) But maybe in ASOIAF, it’s not just the latex of the poppy that contains morphine and codeine and such, but the poppy seeds too, so maybe maesters are making poppy seed milk, thickening it somehow, and that’s what milk of the poppy is?

As for the flavor… alkaloids, the natural chemicals in opium, have a very bitter taste. Laudanum, for example, is extremely bitter, which is why I think it’s the equivalent of dreamwine, which needs honey to go down easy. Poppy seed tea also reportedly tastes vile, especially if it has a high alkaloid content. And poppy seed milk has, quote, “an acquired taste” (nutty, a little bitter?), and normally is mixed with lots of dairy milk and honey to improve the flavor. But, since none of the above products are apparently exactly what ASOIAF’s milk of the poppy is, I’m not sure their flavors would be the same.

But nevertheless, I think I’ve got some textual information for you. (These quotes didn’t come up in asearchoficeandfire for milk of the poppy, so I missed them at first.)

The door to his bedchamber opened. Maester Luwin was carrying a green jar, and this time Osha and Hayhead came with him. “I’ve made you a sleeping draught, Bran.”
Osha scooped him up in her bony arms. She was very tall for a woman, and wiry strong. She bore him effortlessly to his bed.
“This will give you dreamless sleep,” Maester Luwin said as he pulled the stopper from the jar. “Sweet, dreamless sleep.”
“It will?” Bran said, wanting to believe.
“Yes. Drink.”
Bran drank. The potion was thick and chalky, but there was honey in it, so it went down easy.
“Come the morn, you’ll feel better.” Luwin gave Bran a smile and a pat as he took his leave.
Osha lingered behind. “Is it the wolf dreams again?”
Bran nodded.
“You should not fight so hard, boy. I see you talking to the heart tree. Might be the gods are trying to talk back.”
“The gods?” he murmured, drowsy already. Osha’s face grew blurry and grey. Sweet, dreamless sleep, Bran thought.

–ACOK, Bran I

A stab of pain reminded him of his own woes. The maester squeezed his hand. “Clydas is bringing milk of the poppy.”
Jon tried to rise. “I don’t need—”
“You do,” Aemon said firmly. “This will hurt.”
Donal Noye crossed the room and shoved Jon back onto his back. “Be still, or I’ll tie you down.” Even with only one arm, the smith handled him as if he were a child. Clydas returned with a green flask and a rounded stone cup. Maester Aemon poured it full. “Drink this.”
Jon had bitten his lip in his struggles. He could taste blood mingled with the thick, chalky potion. It was all he could do not to retch it back up.


So, evidently milk of the poppy tastes “chalky”. (Like milk of magnesia, I suppose?) Now, the sleeping potion that Maester Luwin gives to Bran is not said to be milk of the poppy, but the fact that it puts him to sleep so quickly and that it also tastes thick and chalky suggests it has milk of the poppy as a major ingredient. (It also came in a green flask, heh.) Note that Bran’s potion has honey in it, so I suspect that if milk of the poppy does have a naturally bitter flavor because of its alkaloid content, then maesters would usually prepare it with honey to sweeten or neutralize the bitterness. Especially in the case of invalids, like Hoster Tully or the Blackwater-injured Tyrion, where a maester wouldn’t want them to choke on a nasty-tasting medicine.

Anyway. For fic purposes, I would just say that milk of the poppy tastes thick and chalky. You may also want to note a hint of bitterness, or say that the maester prepared it with honey. Hope that helps!


Everything about The Winter Soldier’s outfit screams I am a wild animal that needs to be restrained. 

His leather jacket resembles a 1940s straightjacket. His face is muzzled so he can’t communicate well. Even his gun holster goes right across his chest rather than across his shoulders, like Steve’s does.

It makes me wonder how many times Bucky tried to escape on a mission before HYDRA created an outfit to remind him that he’s controlled and owned, even when alone.


[I just want to point out that those Loki roleplayers and fans who have the headcanon (which is actually partly canon) that Loki was tortured by Thanos/TheOther, etc are not without ample evidence to lend credence to it.

We are never actually told exactly what happened to Loki when he fell through the wormhole and into space. Somehow he fell in with Thanos, The Other, and The Chitauri. Somehow he managed to end up on Earth. Tom Hiddleston, in several interviews but in his Popcorn Taxi Australia interview specifically, said that Loki went through something deeply scarring and horrible after he fell, to the point where his family (Odin, Frigga, Thor) have a hard time understanding it. Tom Hiddleston also said (in an interview behind the scenes of Marvel comics) that he imagined that Loki “played cards” with some of the terribly, seedy, and criminal beings of the world.

In The Avengers film, Loki arrives on earth suffering from what clearly appears to be heat exhaustion. This might be a cause of being transported through the Tesseract, or some other trauma pre-transportation. But he seems to also be in some other manner of pain, due to his almost doubling over as he is exiting the Tesseract chamber and then stiffly lowering himself into the truck as they are leaving. In his exchange with Thor, after Thor slams him onto the ground, he gets up and stiffly walks, pressing his hand to his lower back. It appears that he very likely might be suffering from some manner of lower back pain. This could be from Thor slamming him down, OR it could be from aggravated damage that is already there, which is probably more likely due to his usually being fairly durable.


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In the Post-Credits Scene for Thor, Loki is seen whispering to Selvig, “Well I guess that is worth a look.” His teeth are dirty, perhaps rotting, and his skin, particularly his forehead, is mottled. Dirt? Grime? Burn marks? It is open to speculation because Marvel and its movie writers never gives us a clear explanation.


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In The Avengers film, The Other blatantly threatens Loki with terrible consequences if he fails to retrieve the Tesseract for them. This colors his invasion in a slightly different light. He is under a form of duress. Loki is clearly nervous, anxious, and very, very likely afraid as The Other breathes his threat while standing behind him where he cannot see. Loki flinches, and I think his eyes speak loud enough to not need words. But The Other’s threat also holds words that can clearly be construed as supporting the idea that Loki was tortured by them. “You think you know pain…?” The Other could be referencing the mental and psychological anguish Loki has suffered throughout his life, OR he could be referencing pain that has been inflicted upon Loki and that he obviously knows about. This could very well be taken as The Other referencing how he, Thanos, etc, have tortured or inflicted pain upon Loki, and how what Loki has already known will not even compare to what will happen to him if he fails.


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The Other then administers some form of painful shock to Loki’s head, jarring him from his astral projection into Chitauri space. This gives evidence that the The Other clearly possesses some mental/physical powers. As Loki sits there after having been shocked, his eyes once more speak loudly. He looks unsettled, shaken, and dare I say, afraid, all of which seem to be mixed with a resolve.


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Now. I have not seen The Guardians of the Galaxy, or what Thanos was like in that,* but I have a very hard time imagining that Thanos would be the type of being that would not torture someone. As another fan pointed out, Nicky Fury’s first suggestion to make Loki tell them where the Tesseract was, was for Thor to torture Loki.  If Nick Fury is not above it, I can hardly think Thanos is, especially if Loki was not willing to get the Tesseract, or was not willing to comply with his wishes, or did not wish to tell him things, or was too independent, etc.

In addition, Loki was in possession of a staff that, throughout the The Avengers movie, proves that it clearly aggravates and disturbs the mind. It causes all of the members of the Avengers to start showing uncharacteristic behavior. They squabbling amongst each other, and Bruce Banner goes as far as to pick it up. Thor was in the room. It was affecting Thor. Therefore it cannot have not affected Loki.

As a final note, I want to say that I am making this post to merely compile the evidence that gives ample reason why fans and roleplayers alike can easily believe that Loki was tortured before the botched invasion on New York. This may not excuse his actions, but think about it. If he was tortured by this being who sent him, did he really have a CHOICE? Does he deserve punishment if this stuff was done to him and was breathing down his neck that entire movie? He was not mind controlled, but it does not mean he was IN control.. It does mean that what he suffered might have twisted his mentality and hardened his pain, rage, and anger into viciousness and resolve. It gives an explanation for his physical condition throughout, and The Other’s comments to him.

Not everyone has to believe that he was tortured, but please understand that there is evidence and explanations for why that is believed, and they are even partially supported by Tom Hiddleston’s comments and the film. Marvel will likely never ever tell us exactly what happened to Loki, so it leaves the fans to fill in the gaps for themselves. We do not excuse Loki by saying he was tortured, but there IS evidence to support that he WAS.]

*An additional comment: I have now seen Guardians of the Galaxy and it no less convinces me that there is still evidence that Loki could have been tortured by Thanos. I have repeatedly seen others comparing Ronan and Loki together, but Ronan is a wildly different character. He was not a suicidal prince of Asgard that let go of the Bifrost handle.
Just because Thanos did not torture Ronan (who came to Thanos first, or so it appears, with the deal) does not mean he did not Loki.

                                                   so you say we are damned.
                                                              so what? I ask.

                                           so the sun dies in five billion years.
                                                           so we die in fifty.
                                        what is five billion years to an eternity?
                                              what is a lifetime to an eternity? 

                                                      so they are the same.
                                                       so we are damned.
                              so our stars will die long before the end of forever.
                                                    so I love you either way.

anonymous asked:

I have a weird question, and this may all be summed up to Stiles being Derek's anchor, but I'm not sure, I find the dream scene in the 3B finale beautifully strange because, in my opinion, Stiles is presenting himself as being very dominant, his body language, his expression, his words, everything, and then Derek seems very submissive, the nervousness, the body language, the position of him looking UP at Stiles all feels like Stiles is, in this moment, more of an adviser than anything else (1/2)

Although I agree that there are certainly elements of an anchor relationship in that scene, I don’t recall ever seeing an anchor relationship with, imho, such a very clear depiction of the anchor being a dominant force, ofcourse maybe I’m just seeing it weirdly or maybe that IS part of being an anchor, but I thought everything about the dream was just .. so unusually tipped in Stiles’ favor.. do you think Derek sees him as an adviser at all? How do you read that? (2/2)


When you consider that it is in fact a dream sequence (it’s been speculated if Stiles can dream walk, but we have little evidence of this, so let’s assume he can’t), it’s not really Stiles presenting himself as dominant, but rather Derek projecting him like that :) 

And yes, I think it might be an anchor thing. 

If you think about it, with everyone who chose a person as an anchor, that person pretty much “dominated” their lives. Not intentionally of course, because most of them didn’t even know they were anchors. 

Let me see if I can explain it through examples. 

Scott - anchor: Allison

Allison became Scott’s everything to the point where he ignored all advice about caution, learning how to werewolf etc. Allison pretty much became his world and a dominating factor guiding his every decision, logic be damned. He was especially dependent on her in season 1,  which put Allison and a powerful and dominant role in Scott’s life - a role she for the most part didn’t know she inhabited.

Isaac - anchor: His dad

Isaac was the first of Derek’s betas to learn control and find an anchor. He chose his dad, who we know was abusive and a dominating figure that he feared and had caused him much pain, both emotionally and physically. Isaac’s reasoning was that “he wasn’t always like that” and that is probably true. But he still chose a person who even after his death dominated who Isaac was and had a hold over him. 

Derek - anchor: anger

The Derek we meet at the beginning of the series has chosen anger as his anchor. It keeps him in control, but it still dominates him, how he approach things, his reactions. The anger is stronger than Derek, and since anger is based on passion, most of Derek’s decisions during the first couple of seasons, are based on that and not as much logic and calculated strategy.

Malia - anchor: Stiles

Another example of an anchor chosen based on feelings, and while Stiles certainly cares for her and likes her and wants to help her, it’s obvious Malia is more invested in the relationship. With her declarations of “I would never leave without you” while Stiles’ reply to Malia telling him he likes him is to say “he can work with that”. Stiles is showing her the ropes, trying to fit her into his mold of what is “normal”, correcting her and commenting on her progress. Stiles is the more dominant and Malia goes along with it, trying to adapt. Like always in relationships where one is more “in love” than the other, that person has the power to bring heartache and pain, and is in a place of emotional power.

Jackson - anchor: Lydia

This is perhaps the one relationship where who is the more dominant is less obvious. Jackson comes off as strong and abrasive and Lydia can seem cold and superficial, and both give as good as they get. But through season 2 we see the cracks in both of their facades and with her show of love in 2x12, Lydia proved stronger. 

Derek - anchor: Stiles

And now we’re back to this scene. Which (probably) is all happening in Derek’s head. With it being inspired by the short story “An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” this seems plausible. Which means that this is Derek’s subconscious view of Stiles - how he sees him and what he means to him. 

Everything about Stiles is slightly different than we’re used to. He’s calm, his entire posture screams of a quiet confidence, he’s serious and he’s peeled away his “only defense” - the sarcasm. Derek obviously sees through Stiles’ defense mechanisms, sees that he’s level-headed with good ideas and plans. He sees someone he can trust. And in that moment Derek is in a crap place - he needs advice, he’s scared and unsure. And he turns to the person who anchors him, who he trusts can keep him in control. And we see Stiles the way Derek sees him. 

And like with all other anchor pairs, it’s an unbalance - the one needing anchoring is the more “submissive” if you will. Derek lacks something, and turns to someone who he thinks can provide it - it’s supply and demand, which is another theme we often see mentioned on the blackboards in TW, mainly coach’s classes. It’s all well and good as long as the supply equals the demand, but more often than not this equilibrium is hard to balance. And there’s that word again :)  

What we’ve seen with all these examples is that being this dependent on another person to keep you in control, and in balance, isn’t healthy. Feelings change, and without even knowing it these people have enormous power. We saw Scott struggle when Allison broke up with him, Jackson got rid of Lydia after getting the bite, and without her to keep him in check, the Kanima thing probably got more out of hand that it needed to. Derek was in control with anger as his anchor, but he was not in balance, he came off more grumpy, snippy and arrogant than strictly necessary. Scott on the other hand got sloppy and careless when Allison was his guiding force. 

Derek using Stiles as his anchor (I recommend the works of cupid on this btw to see how that progressed) took him to a better place and I believe helped him to evolve. But Melissa probably gave us all the answer in episode 3x13 when she said “Be your own anchor”. 

Control comes from within. People and emotions help shape you and guide you, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to you. 

Receipts on Scott Mccall

Always tries to protect everyone.I bet he’s gonna use that against everyone in Beacon hills when he needs money to pay for his tuition bills. What a gold digger 

Look at him tryna show off his red glowey eyes and fangs oh big deal you don’t have to mock people who don’t have cool eyes and fangs like that.

is always cute around dogs which is problematic bc he’s trying to steal the dog’s spotlight. Get over it dude you’re not the center of the universe.

Is ambitious and wants to be a doctor. What being on Teen wolf isn’t enough that you have to be on grey’s anatomy too? Also do you know where doctors work? Hospitals. what do hospitals have? Blood banks. Blood means death and he’s saying it with a smile which means he’s mocking dead people. 

Thinks he’s the hot girl. What a self centered hoe