my trips and shit

The Instruments As Shit My Band Members Pulled On The Disney Trip
  • piccolos: ate a flower off a bush in the line for splash mountain on a dare
  • flutes: pretended little sister was invisible for entire week
  • clarinets: got separated from girlfriend on bus for pda...ten minutes into the trip
  • saxophones: put hands up on space mountain despite warnings and smashed them on a beam
  • trumpets: overslept and had to be picked up at house the morning we left
  • mellophones: pet a pelican on beach and got bitten, continued to attempt to pet random birds the rest of the week
  • trombones: started sobbing hysterically at the end of back to the future
  • baritones: tried to bring a pair of pliers into the parks, got them through animal kingdom but they got taken away at epcot
  • tubas: found a coconut lying on the beach, then smashed it open and ate it
  • pit percussion: brought a logging chain on the bus and pulled it out to slam it on the seats as accompaniment to the songs in movies
  • drum line: reached back to hold girlfriend's hand on splash mountain but grabbed the chaperone's instead...and didn't notice for almost five minutes
  • color guard: left out the emergency door of a mcdonald's which summoned the police and set off the alarm
  • drum majors: climbed up into luggage compartment of bus and crawled down it through everyone's carry on bags

“Can’t we all drive down the road playing iSpy, or something, like 3 normal Americans?!”

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“Look at this stuff
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl
The girl who has everything?…”

“Steve, I swear to god, STOP with The Little Mermaid! We get it! There’s a reason we put you in the back.”

“Never, Buck. Never.”

“Sam, come on man, do something!”

(Sam just keeps on laughing as he cranks the volume up on the radio)

“Trying to get on my pimp shit
But I’m stuck on a druggy trip
So I fucked an ugly bitch
All the pretty hoes ditched
Yeah they know what snow is
I’M A LUSH
I’M A SAD SAP TRYING TO FILL HIS GUTS
Hope she gushes when that fat ass backs up, ima nut
I GOT THE LAST LAUGH BUT ONLY AS LONG AS THE LAUGHS LAST
Grey flags stay at half mast
Half cocked
Shawty blast
Oddy’s head popped gasp from the blast
AT LAST IM ONLY THE PAST
I got a gash in my thick skull
Throw me in the trash call for pick up
Death over bitches all cause of crystal
Blood spilling in my motherfuckin pimp cup
Used to love the bitch NOW she sucking other dicks
SO I CUT MY FUCKIN WRIST TILL I FEEL LIKE A PUDDLE OF PISS SUICIDE DEATH OF ME WHO GIVES A FUCK No-One”

Made with SoundCloud
just some lil au ideas to keep in mind
  • your girlfriend decided to kick you out at 3 am and I tripped over your boxes of shit in the hallway in my drunken trip to my apartment now I’m half passed out in a pile of your clothes au
  • every time you sneak out of your damn house you go through my yard and my dogs won’t shut up and I am tired of it prepared to be soaked with water guns on your way to your next party au 
  • when we stopped at the red light we were both blasting the same song au 
  • you thought you were alone in the hotel gym so you decided to sing eye of the tiger at the top of your lungs whilst exercising and I found it so entertaining I just had to meet you and tell you how I am now your biggest fan au
  • does my mail really accidentally get sent to your house this often or are you just taking advantage of my magazine subscriptions bc when you bring it by the corners of a few pages of my gossip magazine are always folded  
  • “I have been driving for the last 5 hours and all I want is some god damn beef jerky, so GET YOUR HAND OFF THE LAST PACKAGE ON THE SHELF YOU MAY BE HANDSOME STRANGER, BUT NO ONE IS STANDING IN BETWEEN ME AND THAT SALTY SNACK” 
  • I was trying to get revenge on my friend for putting foil in my microwave but it was dark and I was full of adrenaline (and maybe a little drunk) I’m so sorry that I wrote dick with marshmallow cream and glitter all over your window au
  • why the hell is this mall so big and the map so confusing?? Please help me I’ve been looking for a bathroom for twenty minutes au
  • “sir I can’t give you any more samples this is the third time you’ve come here today” au
  • you’re used to people having to look up at you and being intimidated by your height, but now that I’m standing you’re a bit surprised to find me eye to eye with you and now you’re starting to regret that snarky remark au 
  • “what do you mean you’ve never seen the lord of the rings?? prepare yourself for a fucking marathon and lots of coffee my friend” au 
  • I somehow always get you as a cashier at walmart and its always when I’m buying the weirdest shit at the weirdest time “A head of lettuce at 3am?” ”its a long story” au
  • you just caught me cleaning up some graffiti on our apartments and congratulated me on being an awesome person and decided to help me clean but little did you know I was only cleaning it so I could have blank canvas au

defaultmechanic  asked:

Most of the trip art you have on here is really pretty, but also very intense and disturbing. I would assume they are inspired by bad experiences. I've never had a bad experience on psychs. Can you describe one?

I’ll tell you about my first bad trip. I was stressed about some shit going on in my relationship, feeling inadequate and what not, but that night we had planned to trip. So I ended up taking 2 tabs and I just felt this sense of impending doom, you know that knot in your gut when you feel like something bad is going to happen, but it was amplified by the drugs, so by the time I start tripping i’m in an anxiety attack. But it wasn’t a normal anxiety attack, it was like I was fighting with myself, and it was perpetual. Just as i’d calm myself down my mind would go off on it’s own and again I would be in an attack. It was the worst feeling ever not being able to control the thoughts that came into my head. The worst part about it is that I had forgotten what had upset me in the first place, and I began to panic about literally nothing. If you’ve ever been paranoid after smoking wayy too much weed you might be able to relate, but multiply it by 10 and add the fact that everything around you is distorted and moving and you’re in a room with several other people all tripping sack. And the thing is, no one in the room knew what was happening in my head. I’m always pretty in control when i’m fucked up, I hate to not be in control of my actions, so i sat quietly and didn’t say a thing. At one point it was too much for me to bear, so I laid down and tried to chill out. This is when my bad trip became physical. Suddenly I was unable to exhale. I could breathe in, but when I tried to exhale it felt as if someone had capped off my lungs, and the air could barely escape. Not being able to control my breathing was probably one of the scariest things that ever happened to me. At the time I was a minor, so going to the hospital while tripping was out of the question. I laid for hours waiting for the torture to end, finally everyone left and my boyfriend came and laid next to me and suddenly I could breathe better. It was infuriating that the whole time all I needed was for him to be there, and I had suffered through the trip. For the next month I continued to feel the sensation of my lungs being capped, not being able to exhale. Slowly it got better and I started doing acid again, without anymore incidents. I can say for sure that you should never do acid if you’re already feeling shitty about something. 

Also, not really a bad trip, but a quick tip; don’t take acid and then lay down and close your eyes right after if you are planning on getting up mid trip. I was exhausted so I was nearly asleep when it kicked in, and I laid with my eyes closed for an hour or two while tripping, when I opened my eyes everything I saw was doubled and distorted to the point where I couldn’t walk without tripping into things. Everything remained doubled, like there was 2 of everything I saw not just things blurred, for at least an hour, and afterword my eyes adjusted very weirdly to light and TV screens, a strange experience but not a terrible trip.