my tid ramblings

  • My Crush: *walks up to me*
  • Expectation: Whatever you are physically...male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy--all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.
  • Reality: Who are you?

I am amazed at Jasper’s resiliency, especially in regards to Malachite.
Lapis and Jasper have been fighting inside of Malachite for what might very well be months as of this time. Months, without a single second of rest. And it’s not an even fight, not by a long shot. Jasper has it way, way worse than Lapis does.

When Steven first sees Lapis inside the “Malachite zone” in Chille Tid, she looks pretty much like herself. She looks slightly tired, but her hair is all nicely in place and her coloring is only slightly greener than normal. And even that could be due to the lighting, since Steven also has a slight green cast to his skin.

So, Lapis goes down and Jasper comes up. And she is not doing well at all. She is most definitely green, and she cannot even stand up. She struggles to crawl towards Steven, and can only repeat one word over and over. But she doesn’t give up. She continues struggling, even as she’s dragged back underneath the surface.

What’s really fascinating is Lapis after she resurfaces. She, quite frankly, looks terrible. She is the same hue that Jasper was, her hair is messed up, and she’s covered with scratches. Physically, she looks like she’s been through hell. A hell that Jasper has been struggling inside of since almost since the beginning of Malachite.

And, most importantly, something happened to Lapis when she was inside. Something that caused Lapis to stop struggling, and choose to become Malachite. For I don’t see the “we’re Malachite now” scene as Lapis giving up. It is her actively making a decision. The expression in her eyes is one of somebody who actively makes a decision, and is at peace with that decision. Lapis alone decides to become Malachite. Lapis puts her water wings around herself as she unilaterally makes the decision that both she and Jasper are now Malachite.

I am convinced that Jasper is still fighting against that decision, that she is still fighting to remain Jasper. She has not given up. She is powerful and resilient, and will continue to fight even as the odds against her become greater and greater. Jasper is amazing.

sometimes i forget that jem was tortured by demons for weeks/days when he was only 11 (and he had to watch his parents get tortured and brutally murdered in front of him) then he was forced to depend on the drug that’s killing him so he could live longer and then he turned into a silent brother all in the span of 6 years. like oh my god he was 17 YEARS OLD WHEN HE TURNED INTO A SILENT BROTHER KHAFNJKFSH