my teacher doesn't give a shit

shit my criminal justice professor has pulled
  • On the second week of class wore a baseball cap and sunglasses and attempted to go undercover within the students before class started just to “catch wind” of the latest gossip
  • wore a maternity dress over his regular clothes and then another layer of regular clothes on top of that just to make a joke in the middle of class by stripping down to the maternity dress
  • This thing called “Mowen dollars” which is just a piece of paper with his face on it that counts as extra credit if you turn it in with a test or paper
  • Called us his “little ducklings” on multiple occasions
  • Told us to flip off the class in the hall as we were leaving because they interrupted the middle of his lecture
  • Also has this thing called “infinite generosity” where if you ask him to do something he won’t say no
  • For example, we can now use notes on every exam
  • Constantly photoshops his face onto pictures on his powerpoints
  • Got a speeding ticket and went to court to argue it with science about inclines and how it artificially adds speed to a car when they’re going down. 
  • Lost the case and had to pay the ticket anyways. 
  •  Used his infinite generosity to grant us the option of actually turning in our final term paper without repercussions
  •  Bargained with us that if 84% of the class responded to the teacher survey sent out by the university we could basically take the final test as a class
  • Has had the highest rate of teacher survey response in the department for 4 years running and considers it a personal victory
  • Took multiple pictures of the armored trucks that our local police department has purchased from his home while only wearing underwear
  • In his infinite generosity, he made the final term paper optional because some kid asked him to like a week before it was supposed to be due
Sings as Axl Rose quotes
  • Aries: “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.”
  • Taurus: “Life sucks but in a beautiful kind of way.”
  • Gemini: “It’s really hard to maintain a one-to-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”
  • Cancer: “I like to be real private; you don’t always want everyone around you, even when they do like you.”
  • Leo: “I always believed that the truth about what is going on in Guns N’ Roses lives in just as exciting and just as dangerous, heavy and real as people thought the hype scene to be.”
  • Virgo: “Fear is where there is no love. Love is where there is no fear.”
  • Libra: “Sometimes your friends are lovers, or have been at one time.”
  • Scorpio: “We take for granted the whole story. We judge a book by it’s cover and read what we want between the selected lines.”
  • Sagittarius: “I’m not God, but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls and the rest would be pizza and beer.”
  • Capricorn: “When you got a dream and you really believe in it, it doesn't have to be rock n’ roll, it can be a nuclear business, man. I don’t give a shit, but when your teachers and your parents are saying “Oh, come on now, let’s be reasonable”. just tell them to fuck off!”
  • Aquarius: “Sometimes there’s these girls backstage going, “I love you, Axl!” and I feel like saying, “Honey if you knew me, you would hate my fucking guts.””
  • Pisces: “Sometimes I would want to sink, and then while I was sinking, I would go “Wait a minute, this isn’t what I want to do!” and I would calm down while I was sinking and then start rising back to the surface again.”
  • via idk but if you know just tell me, i found it on the internet
The Signs as Axl Rose Quotes
  • Aries: “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.”
  • Taurus: “Life sucks but in a beautiful kind of way.”
  • Gemini: “It’s really hard to maintain a one-to-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”
  • Cancer: “I like to be real private; you don’t always want everyone around you, even when they do like you.”
  • Leo: “I always believed that the truth about what is going on in Guns N’ Roses lives in just as exciting and just as dangerous, heavy and real as people thought the hype scene to be.”
  • Virgo: “Fear is where there is no love. Love is where there is no fear.”
  • Libra: “Sometimes your friends are lovers, or have been at one time.”
  • Scorpio: “We take for granted the whole story. We judge a book by it’s cover and read what we want between the selected lines.”
  • Sagittarius: “I’m not God, but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls and the rest would be pizza and beer.”
  • Capricorn: “When you got a dream and you really believe in it, it doesn't have to be rock n’ roll, it can be a nuclear business, man. I don’t give a shit, but when your teachers and your parents are saying “Oh, come on now, let’s be reasonable”. just tell them to fuck off!”
  • Aquarius: “Sometimes there’s these girls backstage going, “I love you, Axl!” and I feel like saying, “Honey if you knew me, you would hate my fucking guts.””
  • Pisces: “Sometimes I would want to sink, and then while I was sinking, I would go “Wait a minute, this isn’t what I want to do!” and I would calm down while I was sinking and then start rising back to the surface again.”

anonymous asked:

Peter has next to no acting skills, and he knows it, so he comes to a point where even in his civvies, he doesn't try to act surprised. Doesn't bother. Not at all. Like, a villain comes to the school and immediately runs up to him and threatens him, and Peter gives them this deadpan look and starts sassing at them, and Harry and MJ are just in the back like "Peter whAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Puny Parkers becomes Balls of Steel Parker around the school. But he's just. So tired. He doesn't care anymore.

Oh my god. This short 15yo doesn’t care. He can’t run off to change into his spider suit with so many people around so he’s just. Straight up unaffected by being taken hostage while his adult teachers are sobbing. 

Peter, giving the villain’s knockoff lycra a judgemental once over:

I did my speech on police brutality and this boy got so mad cuz he wanted to be a cop and this new black girl brought up black on black crime and the boy started talking about nwa and how they give kids a “fuck the police” attitude an I pointed at myself and mouthed “me"l mfao why does everyone wanna make black people the bad guy why is it so hard to accept that cops are sadistic pieces of shit and our lives fucking matter