completely out of text quotes that im fully convinced were said on the starblaster
spoilers maybe??? I guess
I don’t know who said what for half of these and even though some of them are kind of obvious everything is up for interpretation
feel free to add to this!!
- “welcome back, my love!!!! stop fucking dying” - “cap’npooooort taako hit me with the ladle agaaaaaain” - “if one of you chucklefucks switch the red ink cartridges into blue pens again I swear to GOSH you won’t make it to the next cycle” - “hey sorry to wake you up but Barry got ahold of the magic booze and won’t stop singing “margaritaville” and normally I’d be okay with this but he forgot half the words and is replacing it with beep boops so can I sleep in your room tonight” - “maggie, broski, bubba, if you pronounce lasagna as las-aag-nah one more time, I’m gonna hit you with the fucking ladle agAIN-“ - “IF YOU KIDS DONT STOP FUCKING YELLING IM TURNING THIS SPACE BOAT AROUND AND LETTING ALL OF YOU GET VORED BY DARKNESS” - “sorry I used magic to try and toast a bagel but I got distracted and long story short for the rest of the year we only have half a kitchen” - “see Merle your plan is good and all but not only is it dumb, it’s also stupid.” - “are you allergic??? no??? then there’s absolutely no reason we can’t have a dog we have plenty of food and water and I would train him he’d be a good boy I swe” - “i have no idea how to play chess but I’m almost certain you’re doing it wrong” - “hey stop stealing Magnus’s shit!!!! that’s my thing” - “lup was shaving half of davenport’s mustache really necessary JUST because he ate the rest of your Fantasy Poptarts?!” (from my other hc post). - “this toaster is homophobic” - “this coffee maker is transphobic” - “hey Lucretia sorry to bother you but I accidentally let myself be emotionally vulnerable for 10 seconds and Magnus has been trying to get me to talk about things so I’m your book partner now”
- “his name is john? god with a name like that I just wanna punch him even more.” - “no! dogs! in! space!”
being friends with a gryffindor is:
never having to worry about not having someone to fight for you; knowing that you are arms length away from receiving the warmest hug you have ever had, like hot apple cider or hot chocolate; pillow fights at 1AM because why not? it's not like sleep could ever give you this feeling of joy; it's sitting next to a roaring fire painting nails, or trying to braid hair [and failing miserably]; it's watching the sunset together, and trying so desperately to memorize how the colors from the sky are making their face glow; it's standing up for them, even if they screwed up - because they're your friend, and what they did isn't worth giving up those uncontrollable giggles late at night; it's teaching each other how to grow up, and be mature, and learn from your mistakes; it's often going out of your comfort zone to do things that you might regret later, but you know will be worth it in the end; it's trying new recipes together and almost coughing it back up because you seriously needed to have had a recipe; it's always being there for each other when it counts.
being friends with a ravenclaw is:
turning around in your seat during class, to look at them and roll your eyes simultaneously; coming up with new conspiracy theories about your favorite tv show; writing messages on each other's jeans and hands/arms, and getting in trouble with the teachers for not paying attention; it's not being afraid to tell them that they need to go back upstairs and change their outfit; it's not being afraid to give them the facts, and show them how it correlates with their circumstance; it's watching the stars together, and having a contest about who can spot the most constellations, before you both decide 'screw it,' and make up your own constellations - each with their own history and characterization; it's trying out new things together, whether it's completely foreign to the both of you, or just one of you - to please the other person and to gain their perspective; it's reading to each other late at night, while the other plays with your hair; it's always going above and beyond to keep your friendship alive.
being friends with a slytherin is:
silent gestures and small smiles during the day, to let the other know you care about them; it's like finding a four-leafed clover - once you find it, you never let it go; it's throwing rocks in water and watching the ripples as they calm you; it's not being afraid to point out the bad qualities in each other, as well as the good, and have conversations about them; it's doing each others makeup and laughing so much that your eyeliner is all over the place, and you can forget about mascara; it's seeing who can sculpt the weirdest animal [with a backstory, please and thank you - along with its diet and habitat]; it's staying on the internet until dawn, and barely speaking, but giggling as you send each other memes; it's jumping on the bed to your favorite music while singing in a hairbrush; it's texting each other in near-tears, spilling your heart out, while the other listens and comforts you, and tells you all the reasons why you'll get through it, and how you don't need the person who is the source of your hurt; it's constantly picking each other up after someone's knocked you down; it's knowing that you have someone you can be completely bare-faced with, and know that they'll either cut all ties with you, or know that you have someone to love you for life.
being friends with a hufflepuff is:
late-night talks about nothing and everything; sending each other baby hedgehog videos; hand-holding; seeing who can eat the most in one sitting [and then comforting each other the rest of the day, because oh my god who would even eat fifteen pieces of toast in their right mind]; sketching each other [and failing miserably]; lighting dozens of candles and laying down on the couch side-by-side, whilst your favorite instrumental record plays in the background; not being afraid of tear-stained clothes; sometimes having to pull all-nighters working through problems with each other, due to too much blatant and tactless honesty; always smiling at each other while you pass in the halls; always lending an ear when needed, even if you can't give advice; squealing at seeing their selfies, because oh my god, I am friends with the cutest little bean in the universe; making road-trip plans for the future; tripping over air while going on hikes together; drying flowers together; knowing that although they might have their head in the clouds, they will always come back down to earth just for you.
i think we all agree this guy has a dorky and kind of snorty giggly-laugh? its just kind of bubbly and nerdy and it probably equal parts adorable as it is embarrassing. but when he laughs too hard at, like, a dumb joke or something super dumb happening (”lup was shaving half of davenport’s mustache really necessary JUST because he ate the rest of your Fantasy Poptarts?!”)
he just sort of. forehead boops to someone’s shoulder. like whoever's next to him he just curls in and laughs and no one ever says it out loud but it’s easily without a doubt everyone’s favorite thing ever.
“Some people see a magic trick and say, ‘Impossible!’ They clap their hands, turn over their money, and forget about it ten minutes later. Other people ask how it worked. They go home, get into bed, toss and turn, wondering how it was done. It takes them a good night’s sleep to forget all about it. And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind.”
Andrew wakes up one morning, forgetting for a split second where he is. There’s soft breathing beside him–never snoring, the boy beside him doesn’t snore. He could smell the familiar fruit shampoo that the boy beside him liked to use on the cats. The bed feels lighter, somehow, with two bodies on it instead of one. To Andrew, it is much too early to think of such an anomaly, but he stores it somewhere in the back of his mind to think about later. Right now, Andrew allows himself to stare at the boy facing him–though, he is never going to admit that.
If anyone were to walk in and see Andrew with his eyes softening at the edges, a sigh leaving his parted lips, they would remark about how Andrew was getting softer.
But, he isn’t getting softer. He’s alive and he’s curious about this new life that he never would have thought possible. And, suddenly, he realized that his survival had depended on a boy who had given him the truth on the ledge of a roof, in the middle of an airport, and any chance he got.
Thank you, the words rang in Andrew’s mind, You were amazing.