my stuff: tales of

anonymous asked:

5 for COFT please? ( also that latest chapter of TGATNW was super great. hot damn that subtle torture!)

5: What part was hardest to write?

It was really hard starting, because I was so sure - like so sure - that people wouldn’t read it or want to read it. And there was actually a drop off between Game Theory and The Court of Five Thrones (some people love GT and not COFT, some people love COFT and not GT, some people don’t love either etc.)

Additionally, I had just cut off from an intensely emotionally abusive person, who was at the time quite entangled in my writing in a not healthy way. And so I’d not only cut off a relationship that had been super important to me for such a long time, some of their parting words included them strongly urging me not to write COFT because they had zero interest in it as a project. That, combined with the abuse, meant that COFT became a lot more to me than just…a story.

But that meant it also became more intimidating. My self-esteem has never been great, and it was pretty shattered at that point. I didn’t like any of my writing. I felt really burned out (and I was). One of the most helpful therapists I’d ever seen, left the state after confirming that I was in the equivalent of a verbal domestic violence relationship and she recommended a thing called No Contact which was really fucking hard, and I was in a grey area of looking for a new therapist, and I’d also lost a few other friends who I cared about deeply, or alternatively, the friendships changed to the point where we became acquaintances. Like, this irl stuff had a massive knock on effect, but these were often also people I knew on Tumblr, and so I was suddenly like, wait… what?

So I’ll always remember the first 5 chapters as the hardest. Introducing new characters, trying to find my way through a new format, losing friends, almost constantly suicidal for months, unable to reach out here (I felt muzzled by the situation), and also not really sure about myself. Things many people go through, but just felt sharper because of all this other stuff.

I’ve had writer’s block since then, sometimes pretty bad, but nothing compares to that period of time where I seriously was considering quitting writing and deleting Game Theory, and my finger would hover over the ‘delete this work’ button so many times you have no idea because I couldn’t stand myself.

So, so glad I worked through that.

2

Gerda and the Robber girl from Snow Queen. Resurfacing again to post this. It was inspired by a dear, dear friend. This was my first femslash ship ever, when I was a smol child, I used to read Andersen’s tale and watch the ye olde Soviet cartoon and I just wanted Gerda to stay with the Robber girl and quit searching for Kai, he was a  bit of a dick to her anyway.

Hi my name is Mithos Yggdrasill the Hero and I have golden blond hair with lighter blond tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like the goddess Martel (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Kratos Aurion but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m an angel but my wings are rainbow and glowing. I have pale white skin. I’m also a seraph and I go to a magic comet called Derris Kharlan where I’m in the four thousandth year (I’m four thousand and fourteen). I’m a half-elf (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly white. For example today I was wearing a white onesie with matching gold trim around it and a dipping v-neck and golden shoes. I was walking outside the Tower of Salvation. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Lloyd Irving stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.