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I have reached 300 followers so I’m going to share my babygirls story!! This is my baby girl, Amity May Archer born at 22 weeks 5 days on the 4th of November. I’d be having lower pain for nearly a week, My partners mum made me take a test which was negative so I “ knew” I “wasn’t” pregnant. My mum rushed me to hospital thinking it was my kidney, I had blood drawn and 2 hrs later at 2am it was confirmed.. I was pregnant.. My heart skipped when she told me, I had to tell my boyfriend and I cried thinking he didn’t want this but he was just worried about what my parents would say. At 3am I was rushed to another where I spent 3 days making sure it was a viable pregnancy and that it wasn’t ectopic sure enough bubby was fine, I was 3 weeks pregnant. At 7 weeks I woke up to blood, I screamed out to my mum who again rushed me to the hospital after a 3 hour wait I was finally seen by a dr who said I had a bladder infection and that could be the reason for bleeding but I could also be losing her, A wait and see game. I was put on antibiotics to stop the bladder infection but sadly the bleeding didn’t stop I had lots of ultrasounds and watched my babygirl grow. at 16 weeks the bleeding got worse a lot worse it was constant and now there were clots big clots (size ranged from 2cm to 10cm) One night after going and getting baby stuff (bassinet,baby bath, change table ect) A clot came out that I thought was my baby girl,I panicked and put it down the drain and rushed to hospital, Freaking out and thinking fuck I just washed my daughter away.. the nurse held the doppler to my tummy and thankful my babygirl was still there and that clot was just a build up of blood, She was a fighter!! I was so proud. At 20 weeks after my big scan I was told to go to the hospital were I was admitted for anemia and had a blood transfusion, they weren’t concerned about Amity as she was happy and healthy growing inside her mumma. I was meant to be released the next day but because my bleeding was continuing to pour out of me (filling up at least 5 maternity pads a day with blood and clots). They then became concerned that the blood was irritating the placenta or even worse was coming from the placenta at 21 weeks after a week in hospital they finally seen my placenta was peeling off, I had ultrasounds every two days, doppler every 2 hours and blood taken everyday. at about 21 weeks 2days they noticed I had dilated 1cm, They moved up to the labor ward for a day then back down again because my bleeding had slowed after 2 days of being down stairs I had dilated to 5cm (21 weeks 5 days)and my waters were leaking back up to labor ward were I stayed for the rest of my time in hospital, from then on I was told any day now be prepared to have your little girl even though they knew they couldn’t save her. at 22 weeks my waters had official broken completely with the amount of bleeding I had they couldn’t do anything.. They told my partner he could lose both of us, I had a iron transfusion which they said will take awhile before it kicks in. I had spend every night writing to a god that never saved my baby girl I prayed everynight for her to be okay at 22 weeks 4 days at 8pm I was put on a pain killer to numb the contractions, I calles the doctor to see when she thought Amity would come to my shock she said I wouldn’t be surprised if she came tonight or tomorrow.. I was in disbelief, I wanted to yell at her. at 1am that morning I was in labor and at 2:15am I gave birth to my beautiful LIVING baby girl Amity May Archer. She lived three hours within them 3 hours she met her Mum, Dad and Pop, he whole life she only knew love.. True love. She was my 17th birthday present. I spent 9 hours with my daughter, she was held by her great nana, her great pop, her great aunty, both her nanas and my second mum. I then did the hardest thing of my life… I said goodbye to my beautiful daughter for the last time and on that day I died myself. It has taken me 7 months to gain a bit of myself back but I will never be the same again. My smile has a little less happiness because a part of me died with my daughter and I will never be truly happy until I am with her. Mummy loves you Amity, I will love you forever. Rest In Peace my sweet babygirl xxx

Dear the next girl he gets with,
When he says your beautiful beware because weeks later he can turn around and say that you’re not as beautiful as his new girl.
When he says he loves you beware he’s probably saying that to a dozen other girls.
When he says he wants to know your secrets beware cause weeks later he won’t be the only person who knows.
When he says he promises just know those words mean nothing to him.
When he talks about plans in the future just know not to get your hopes up because if he gets bored he will leave without ever looking back.
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taylorswift I just wanted you to know last year I had my high school graduation/formal and I got my dress made to be like your love story dress because I wanted to be like a princess for a day and in that video you were the most beautiful princess.

Formal was so important for me because I had a pretty shitty high school life (something you know all about). There was a few years when I literally would not talk to any other students because literally no one liked me. I spent every lunch break either playing music in the music room, reading or listening to your music. Your song mean got me through so much. Pretty much without you I may not still be here. You showed me that being bullied doesn’t have to rule your life. You can get through it. That you are better than what they say you are. 

Writing songs helped me so much I was lucky enough to be asked by my music teacher to play one of my own songs at Graduation. I literally got to get up on stage in front of all the people who were ever mean to me, all of their parents, and all of the teachers who helped me through it, and sing a big ‘screw you!' 

Afterwards people who were once mean to me were coming and congratulating me and saying I was amazing and I looked beautiful and I felt like laughing so hard. I’d never expected that. I just wanted to show them I came out stronger, and I did. They called me Taylor Swift that night. And I’ve never been prouder to wear that name. It was the first time I wasn’t told I was 'too obsessed’ with you when I talked about you or wore your merch to school (I was on the red sports team, I WAS NOT missing an opportunity to wear my red tour shirt.!). For the first time I wasn’t being called Taylor Swift out of scorn, it was a compliment.

 So, that’s the story of my 'fairytale’ night… There was no prince charming… I saved myself. And wearing your dress and carrying your spirit, I finally made it.

Left Picture: 1 year anniversary at 48 lbs lost, size 10-12, ran a 5k, BMI obesity class I. Right Picture: 2 year anniversary at 86 lbs lost, size 2-4, ran a 10k, BMI normal weight, my smallest weight ever and smaller than my husband for once in my life (teehee).

I know I haven’t updated you all in a while. I have been busy graduating, working, and studying for my boards! 

Only 14 lbs to 100 lbs lost! My ultimate goal putting my right smack in the middle of my healthy BMI range. Take that heart disease!

Hey taylorswift I’m Melissa and I am 24 years old. When I was younger I was in and out of the hospital with surgeries and being sick. I was born with weak muscles and have always been different from everyone else unfortunately where I live and went to school people didn’t take the time to get to know me. I went through middle school and high school with no friends, thankfully I have the best family and don’t know where I would be without them. I’ll admit going through school with no friends was very hard, I mean yes I am different and can’t do everything like they could do but I wish they would have taken the time to get to know me. When I was 16 years old I discovered your music and it was the best thing to happen to me. Thank you for being my friend when I didn’t have any. I would love to meet you. I love you forever and always <3 taylorswift

WHY I’M SO POSITIVE

Before I start anything, I’d like to put a full disclaimer in here that I’m not looking for pity, sympathy, or anything like that. I’m sharing my story because my amazing tumblr friends have told me how positive I am, and I really value that compliment–and I want to tell them why I am.  So I really want to say thank you to them first. I love you guys so much :)

When I was 7, I was diagnosed with scoliosis. Scoliosis is condition in which people have an abnormal curve of the spine. I started going to an orthopedist, a doctor that specializes in bones. Every year after that doctor’s appointment I would see a scoliosis doctor and he would monitor my spine curve. After I turned 12, my doctor told me that I should go to an orthopedist that specializes in scoliosis itself, and I met my new doctor. Unfortunately, my curve only worsened. The next step was a brace that I had to wear.

When I first was given a brace, they formed one especially for me, hoping that it would lessen my curve. I was given strict instructions to wear it at least 4 hours a day including sleeping with it at night. With my first brace, I was also given the option to wear it during school hours, but I wanted to be seen as a ‘normal’ student, so I chose wearing it at home during after school hours. I fought with my mum so hard because I didn’t want to hangout with friends or leave the house when I had the brace on, because I thought people could tell that I was wearing one and look at me weird. I was frustrated. I didn’t want people to know that I had this condition that made me different from other kids my age. To make me feel better, my parents bought me bigger clothes to fit over my brace because I was so insecure that people could see it through my clothing.

When I turned 14, I was given another brace called, “The Charleston Brace.” This brace was different than the other one I had previously worn. This brace was especially made for kids whose curves exceeded 40 degrees. This brace was to only be worn at night but it was difficult to sleep in. This brace literally made your spine curve the other way. It was created as a last resort for kids before surgery was an option.

Much to my demise, my curve only worsened, and my curve was 43 degrees when I turned 15. My doctor had been talking about surgery, and wanted to schedule it for the summer in August of 2008. However, he was a surgeon in Afghanistan, and he was very busy attending to our soldiers in need of help. My surgery was pushed back two other times before I was scheduled for December 18, 2008. I remember when my doctor told me. I was so angry. There was nothing I could do; nothing I could say that would make him change his mind. This was the last resort. I looked over at my mum and saw her hysterical, just like I was. I felt like I didn’t belong; I felt like everyone would see me differently because they would know.

He explained to me that there were two different ways that they could perform the surgery: the posterior approach (from the back) and the anterior approach (from the front). Because my curve was more than 40 degrees, we had to do the surgery the anterior way. The anterior way was through the front of your body, most specifically the side. This surgery actually is more difficult because of the way they have to perform the surgery. To get to your spinal region, they had to incision on my left side and on the side near my ribs. To make a skin graft, they had to remove rib of yours. I also needed to have rods and screws put in my back to keep it straight. After we had our discussion about surgery and prep, the doctor told me that I needed to learn how to walk again because my body would be in shock from the surgery.

On December 18, 2008, I had scoliosis surgery, and was in the operating room for 5 hours. My parents were nervous that the surgery didn’t go according to plan, but it went perfectly. After I awoke in a haze, I was finally able to see my parents and family again. However, I was in a lot of pain. They gave me medication for the pain, and I kept pressing the button next to the side of the bed for more medicine. The pain was just too much. That first night, I was put into the kids’ cancer wing. I was placed in a room with a little boy who was about 5 years old. He cried the entire night, and I asked my mum what was wrong. She said that he had terminal cancer and he might not make it through the night. I felt horrible; physically and emotionally. It made me so upset to see this young life taken too soon. I hope that there is a cure for cancer one day. And I can’t wait until it’s cured to say that we finally kicked cancer’s butt. My family, sister, and extended family visited me while in the hospital, while my mum stayed by my side the entire time.

The next three days I had routine tests done to make sure that everything was going right. My vision was pretty blurry, but it was beginning to subside. On December 19th, I met a girl named Lauren.  I was doing my daily walk, regaining my strength back and I came across Lauren in the hallway of the Children’s Cancer wing. Lauren had beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair, and was around the age of 9. Her dad had been with her in the wing, and my parents began talking to her dad. Lauren asked to grab my hand because she was blind. We walked down the hallway together with my IV machine. Lauren was cheerful and full of life; she was probably the happiest person I’ve seen in my time being at the hospital. I also found out that Lauren was blind and had a terminal disease. Although my time with Lauren is a little fuzzy from years ago, I still remember her saying, “You can do it.” It gave me such confidence to know that this little girl who I barely knew was able to see that I would make a full recovery. After my walk with Lauren, she gave me a bracelet that her and her mom made. It was this small bracelet from beads that you can connect together, made of several different colors. I still have it in my room, and look at it almost every day. Lauren had given my mum and me each one, almost as parting gifts when she left me on that day. I’ll never forget Lauren, because she gave me hope. She was so young and about to lose her life, and yet she saw strength in me. I swear to this day that Lauren was an angel sent to me.  

On Sunday, December 21st, the day wasn’t as joyful. I was moved to another room. That day started out normal, and I began eating food again after not being able to eat a full meal. My mum didn’t feel well so she decided to go downstairs to get something to help her stomach. The last thing I remember was taking a bite of my pancake stack I ordered from the Hospital’s food service. I remember the nurse waking me up and a swarm of doctors entering the room. The nurses and doctors started shouting a bunch of medical terms I was unaware of. Disoriented, they picked me up out of the chair and placed me in my bed. The doctor threw the chair I fainted in out of the room and into the hallway.

My mother came up from the cafeteria downstairs and she was confused and just as disoriented as I was, “What’s happening to my daughter?!” she said frantically.

“I don’t know,” replied the doctor.

At that moment as the doctors were giving me shots of medicine or whatever it was to keep myself stable, I turned to my mum and asked, “Mommy am I dying?”

To my mum, she said that was her moment where she broke down. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t keep any food down, my vision was still blurry, and I still wasn’t able to walk that well. After the doctors kept me stable, they concluded that they were giving me 3 times the amount of Oxycontin every hour when I was supposed to be getting that amount every 3 hours. The hospital in which I was staying at had been a teaching hospital, and the students were to blame for my dosage. My lung collapsed so I was back in ICU and kept under watch by other nurses.I  thought about Lauren and how she dealt with her terminal illness. She didn’t let her disease define her, and I shouldn’t let my surgery define me. She was more than her disease, just like I am more than my scoliosis. I shouldn’t need peoples’ pity; I survived and I was alive, and healthy. I should be happy about that. The doctor said if I was strong enough, and I could walk up a flight of stairs in the hospital without a nurse’s help, I was able to go home. I took all of my strength I had that day and I walked the flight of stairs with my parents and a nurse. I was allowed to go home that day, which was December 23rd. I was able to finally go home. I still had Lauren’s bracelet with me on a stuffed animal I received from a friend. Weeks after my surgery, I was getting better and I was regaining my strength. I still however had to go through the month of being home schooled. I planned out my school schedule and I was going to be having school Monday through Thursday, and I would have a Science tutor, then one tutor for History and English, and another for Math. My mom became my rock during this whole experience. She sacrificed a month from work to stay home with me and take care of me so I wouldn’t be home alone. Thankfully, the month came and went, and I was ready to go back to school. I was caught up in my classes and I was thankful for my teachers cooperating and helping me along the way.

At this time, Fearless came out. taylorswift helped me through those times when I needed it. I listened to “Fifteen” more times than I could imagine. “The Best Day” became my mum and I’s song, because she became my best friend when I felt like I didn’t fit in. The album resonated with me so much. I felt alone. I felt so isolated from my friends because I had this going on.The night before I had to go back to school, I was nervous. I couldn’t carry my backpack because I still couldn’t carry over 20 pounds with my surgery, so I had to ask people to hold it for me till I got to my locker. I didn’t like the idea of people helping me; I wanted to do things myself, because like Lauren, I didn’t want to have my surgery define me from being different than other people.

To kids at school, I was known as, ‘the girl who had back surgery.’ I was determined to change my image at school into a positive one, instead of ‘the girl who had back surgery.’ It was weird because I didn’t know how to be the girl that I was before my scoliosis surgery. A lot had happened in the span of two months and I was completely different. Meeting Lauren and being accidentally overdosed changed me as a person. Whenever I felt like I didn’t fit in, I just remembered Lauren and her strength, and how I should be strong just like she was. I never knew what happened to Lauren after I left the hospital, but I hope that she had all the happiness in the world.

This is why I’m so positive. Life is so short; it shouldn’t be taken for granted. Cherish every single moment. I’m so lucky that I was given a second chance at life. Not everyone gets that chance. But I did. Being positive to me is what matters. Because I’m so incredibly grateful for this life that I have. I believe that I was able to have a second chance for a reason; and I don’t intend wasting that chance I was given.

I love you.

I know I never make posts like this so unfollow me for all I care but I hope this helps someone out there. It’s been a little over 3 years since the day I almost ended my own life. And I am so happy to be alive now. To anyone who feels alone, unloved, unwanted, or worthless: you are not. Please trust me on that. I know it feels hopeless and I know you are scared but I promise you there are people who care about you and people who will love and help you through anything. You are not alone.

Another speedy sketch today. 

Dragon AU - I have an idea of putting them in a situation of receiving order from Dragon Council that they must disguise to join in their enemy’s party and take some important information. And for once Sanji has a chance to ‘decorate’ his Dragon with his skillful taylor hands in making him look more human alike.

Fun fact: I am obese.

Perhaps not morbidly so, but I’m definitely overweight. I’m working on it. It can be tough, there’s no doubt about it, but it can be done.

When I was 17, just before I was getting ready to head off to college, I weighed almost 260 pounds. This caused some mild hypertension for which I had to be medicated. I hated being so young and having to take medicine every single day.

Well guess what? I changed it. After several years of taking the medicine and being overweight, I finally started getting active. Small things, sometimes just taking walks or getting on the treadmill for a half hour. I ate a little less, gave myself smaller portions and picked more wholesome and filling snacks. Without making any drastic changes, I eventually lost about 30 pounds and the doctor took me off the medicine. Happy to report that my blood pressure is now normal and healthy, and I continue to work toward being healthier.

I’m not delusional. I know I’m overweight because I eat more than an exercise. It’s not that I don’t feel pretty, I do. If I do say so myself, I have excellent fashion sense and a nice smile. I’m not losing weight because I need to to feel beautiful and confident, I’m losing it because my family has a history of heart disease and diabetes and high blood pressure and other obesity related health issues, and I want to live a long and healthy life free of those burdens.

So spare me your bullshit about how I hate fat people because I acknowledge obesity is unhealthy. And spare me your irrelevant anecdotes about how being underweight is a problem too. Hit me up when 60% of the American population is underweight, until then I think I’ll focus on the problem that’s an actual epidemic.

Porque aquella niña triste y amargada que creció con excesiva rapidez casi nunca está fuera de mi corazón. Con el éxito rodeándome, aún puedo sentir sus ojos asustados mirando a través de los míos. Sigue diciendo «nunca viví, nunca me amaron» y a menudo me siento confundida y creo que soy yo quien lo está diciendo”.