my soul is bruised

anonymous asked:

Can you please do dr Schneeplenstein in c5?

WHAT AM I DOING?!

W͞h̕o̶ ̡d̸o ̷yo͝u th̶i͟n͜k ͘you̧'v̸e̛ ͢b̛e̴ȩn w̸àt̢c̸h͞ing all͘ thi̵s tim̶e̷? J̴͖̖͖͇u̟̟͙̙̳̘ͨͩͧ́ͅs͈̞̯͉̬̀ͅt̤́ ̱ͧm̤̗̈͆y͙͉͖̩̺͂̀́ͣ̈́ͥͪ ̡̫̱͖ͩ̿ͫ̊ͭp̗͇̯͓͓͚ͩͧ͂ͅū̖̫̱̏p̷͔̬̩̲̘̖͔͛p͔̦̫̟̃̅͐̚e̤̠͂͌̆̏͝t͚̼ͥ̌̊́̓́̀͠š̖̦̥̫̓̆ͩ̈́.̪͕̱̺̯̖͗ͅ 

If it is not my skin and bones that you see, but my bruised heart and empty soul, will you still love me with all that keeps you alive?
day 1: i cried so hard my mom woke up every hour to make sure i was still breathing; she told me it was like i was a newborn in his crib for the very first time.
day 2: i went to school and cried in the counselors office.
day 3: i believed we were okay and our love was cured, i think my mind was playing a sick joke on me.
day 4: i told you i’d wait for you, you replied with “i don’t want you to wait”
day 5: i came across a picture of you on tumblr. It lit my throat on fire so i tried lighting your letters over the fire… it was to hard.
day 6: happy one month: you loved me so much you couldn’t even make it a month with me
sincerely - the love you don’t deserve.
day 7: you left me broken into pieces on the bathroom floor, someone is picking up your dirty work, something you’ve never been able to do even before.
day 8: your voice still echoes in the wind and although your touch never got the chance to bruise my skin, your voice overpowered my soul. i’m no longer bleeding on the bathroom floor though i am in the room where you once called me yours.
day 9: im finally laughing with someone new and my smile is bigger and brighter than ever.
day 10: the doubt makes my spine feel less like a vertebrae and more like a giant icicle (you never loved me)
day 11: Since when was heartbreak so fucking beautiful to you? Since when was lying fun? Since when was i not enough for you?
There is nothing pretty about losing feelings in my knuckles after squeezing my hands so tight to keep from texting you
day 12: i was never able to squeeze them tight enough; i never would have imagined that it would be so easy for you to let go.
day 13: i no longer think about you constantly, my heart no longer beats for you, my mom no longer checks to see if i’m alive. I’m moving on like i said i would
day 14: i smoked weed with a girl in the front seat of her car and she asked questions i couldn’t get myself to even answer
day 15: i found out you had finally replaced me and it flicked at my bruises i gave myself but somehow i still didn’t break.
day 16: i still find excuses to text you; you still find reasons to ignore them.
day 17: what color are your eyes? what does your smile look like? what does your voice sound like? who are you now?
day 18: i was worth it. i was so fucking worse it. You don’t deserve the love i had to offer. Fuck you i was worth it
day 19: sometimes all i feel in my chest is my heart trying to escape from its cage it’s being held in; i think it’s tired of all the tears i’ve shed because of you
day 20: i was finally able to sleep right; your voice no longer keeps me awake late at night. You no longer overpower my brain.
day 21: someone told me it took 21 days to break a habit. It has been 21 days since you decided to leave me for her. Within them 21 days, i’ve realized you never deserved me, i was worth it and that life is so much better without you. i’ve realized i don’t need you to be alive.
—  21 days without you

to my ‘almost lover’:

the way you made me feel, i will never be able to forget. so safe, so calm, just purely at ease.
you loved me when i couldn’t love myself, always and unconditionally. when i hated myself and couldn’t bear to look in the mirror, you taught me that there was more than skin and bones to me. you saw something in me that my eyes have yet to see. you looked beyond this skin i live in, looked into my soul and looked into my heart. you saw the darkest, most bruised places of my being and loved me there without my pleading. when my mind was a horrible place to be in, you managed to get me out of it every time it was needed. you were patient, caring and protective, always and unconditionally. the love you gave just came naturally, you said it’s what you’ll always do for me.

my ‘almost lover’,
we could have been more, so much more. i could have been yours and you could have been mine. and i know it’s my fault that we never were but oh, how i wish we were.

—  e.s. // my ‘almost lover’.

i am made of war
and she is made of love

she mends
what i tear apart
the holes in the bronze
hammered into my soul

bruises blossom on her neck
evidence of my savagery
and she strokes my bones
and clutches close
my skin stitched together
the patchwork pieces

i would fight for her
die for her
again and again and again
tear myself to ashes
if only to fall between her fingers

my wounds are jagged
like broken glass
and she kisses them
and only when she rises do i see
that there is blood on my hands
and blood in her mouth

i am made of war
and she is made of love

but what makes war
if not love?

—  if ares is the god of war, why do we shrink so from aphrodite?  (l.d.)
I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.
—  Shinji Moon

“I wear a mask to give myself an edge, not to obliterate my own pain or identity. I love being Catwoman, but that in and of itself means that Catwoman isn’t all that I am. I steal compulsively, but somehow the stealing saves me. As hard and nasty and jagged as my life has been, instinctively I always want more. Instinctively, I always take more. And I live in Gotham because the city mirrors the landscape of my soul. She’s beaten and bruised, just like me. A beauty. A badass.” 

(Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people in the world, I love you @selinrkyle!!)

I’ve thought about it many times since then. I don’t want a perfect relationship, I just want to be found by someone who can love me beyond imperfection, a love that can take away my fears and give me justice. I want to be found just as I am now, stained cheeks, bruised soul, and gaps all over my reality. I want every piece of me to be acknowledged, the uncut and the missing spaces. And in return, I’ll give him myself exclusively and every emotion I can possibly feel. We will grow and heal together, we will fail and succeed together, we will be there saving each other. It might drain us and kill us along the way but what’s more important is being able to feel this kind of love. Love is rare, happiness is timed but we are lucky it found us.
—  d.r.n

It’s a miracle
It’s everything you ever wanted
and nothing you believed you'd receive 

She’s standing there
looking at you like you hang the stars in the sky
holding out her hand, asking you to trust her


How does she not realize
that you jumped in head first into her whirlpool a long time ago
that she has your heart and your soul in the palm of her hand


Oh let her be gentle with my cracked heart, you think
Oh, let her sooth my broken soul, you whisper
Let me love her with all of my bruised body, you pray


You are helpless in the face of her glory 
You are hopeless in response to her request 
You are lost when she leaves you and found when she returns