my so called angst

     You called me 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎.
             So I’ll be

                           My heart always was.

                   You called me 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉.
                            So I’ll be

                                       My thoughts always were.

                                             I ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs.

You are the sun and I am just the planets
Spinning around you

I’ve done nothing but listen to “The Last of the Real Ones” by Fall Out Boy ever since this post. I had to get it out of my system one way or another and it just turned into… whatever the heck I was trying to portray here lmao 


…I wonder if that was actually a good decision to make there, Kuroo

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it gets a bit confusing to me coz i have a male oc that looks like how i draw zarya orz I FORGOT ZARYA’S TATTOOS IM SORRY

Ever Since New York

A/N: Here’s an angsty drabble that I wrote at 2 in the morning after working an entire day and just pretty much being pissed off (because customers suck… and managers)

Warnings: swearing, angst, alcohol. nothing too bad.

Originally posted by coporolight

You scrolled through your phone, staring at the various pictures that you had of you and Bucky. 

After you two had broken up, you couldn’t bring yourself to delete the many pictures you two took. Most of them ended with Bucky covering the camera and getting a blurry view of his grin but you still smiled nonetheless, being able to remember that exact moment in time, feeling as free as you did. 

Your room was dark, and you didn’t know what you expected to get from staring at these pictures again. 

A random picture appeared, the two of you locking lips softly as the rays of the setting sun shined precisely behind your faces. Bucky’s lips were turned upward into a small smile, while your nose scrunched and you struggled to snap the picture with your eyes closed. 

Better times were behind you. 

You stood from your bed, walking to the kitchen in your rented apartment and heating up some water for tea. 

You wiped away the tiredness from your eyes, sighing as you gripped your phone tightly in your hands, afraid that if you let it go then the pictures would somehow be erased. Along with all those happy memories. 

The rain pounded against the window as your curled up on the chair in your dining room, waiting patiently for the water to boil. 

As you watched the water drip outside, you couldn’t help but remember the time the two of you danced in the rain. A celebration in a sense, you had just finished university and was still in your cap and gown. He spun you around, the two of you singing songs and screaming happily in the rain.

It was the first time he told you he loved you. 

“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), get it together.” You said to yourself, slapping your cheeks to wake yourself up and quit thinking about him. 

The tea kettle began to yell, causing you to hop from your spot and grab a mug. You glanced at the clock, “Fucking hell. Of course it’s 3 a.m.” 

Your feet carried you to the living room, dipping the tea bag in the water while you sat on your couch. The only light that came in was the ones that shined through the windows. 

Though you didn’t want to, you couldn’t help but continue thinking about the glory days that you shared with him. 

A loud knock sounded through out your entire apartment. You jumped in your seat, immediately reaching for your bat that sat in the shoe closet beside the door. 

Your eye looked through the peephole, your jaw falling agape as you saw who was on the other side. 

The door opened slowly, your head peaking around to see Bucky standing there, water dripping from his hair and his shoes squeaking with every movement. 

“What are you doing here?” You didn’t know what else to say, your mouth had gone dry despite having just drank tea, and your tongue didn’t want to move in the ways you wanted it to. 

Bucky sighed softly, his eyes squinting as he struggled to see your silhouette in the darkness of your apartment. 

“It’s been 3 months, Buck…” You trailed off after a moment of him not saying anything. 

“Look- can I just come in? Please?” He said, his voice quiet compared to the rain. 

You contemplated in your head for a moment before opening the door all the way so that he could slip in. 

He shook his head, flinging water in all directions while you stood idly back, waiting to figure out why he had shown up here so suddenly. 

Now that you were in better light, he studied your face slightly. He bit his lip, shaking slightly. Bucky’s body dropped to the floor, his head falling into his hands as he sobbed softly. 

You heart dropped, immediately feeling all the love for him rush outward in his painful cries. “Bucky, oh my god… What’s wrong?!” 

Your hand hesitantly resting on his shoulder, feeling his shakes rack throughout his body. 

“Bucky!” You tried again, shaking his body and grabbing his face to get him to look at you. 

His eyes were bloodshot, and it was then that you smelled the scotch radiating off of his body. You scrunched your nose, backing away, “You’re drunk.” 

“No I’m not,” he whispered, wiping a tear from his cheek, “okay maybe I am but that’s not the point.” 

“Well I sure as hell don’t know the fucking point. Why the hell are you here?” You said, suddenly angry with his unannounced appearance at your door step. 

Bucky was an emotional wreck, he sniffled constantly and couldn’t say a word without slurring. “I’m still in love with you.” 

“You broke up with me!” You yelled, standing up and towering over him. 

“I was protecting you!” He spat, struggling to stand up straight. 

“From what?” You muttered, crossing your arms over your chest and not being able to believe that you were arguing with your intoxicated ex boyfriend. 

He walked slowly towards you, getting close but not touching you in any way, “Myself.” 

You swallowed, feeling bile rise up in your throat as you felt stupid for not being able to put two and two together. He spoke a lot about being afraid of reverting back to what he was before. Not having a clue who he was, or who you were. 

He didn’t want to hurt you. 

“Bucky, you would never hurt me.” 

“I could feel it, in my brain…” he pointed dramatically to his head, “I was going back to a dark place, babygirl. I didn’t want you hurt.” 

You hit Bucky’s chest with both your fists, banging harshly and backing him up into the wall as you felt tears stream down your face. “Fuck you, Bucky. Fuck you!” 

“Ow, ow!” Bucky grabbed your wrists, stopping you from hitting him. “What is going on with you?!” 

“I’m a strong girl, Buck. Not some fragile piece of glass that you can’t touch! I want you to love me, and to be with me.” You sobbed, your head falling onto his chest. 

Bucky slowly slipped his hands around your body, holding you close, “I’m better. I know you’re strong, and we can be together. I want you back, darlin’. I miss you so much.” 

“You drive me insane.” You muttered, staring up at him once you had calmed down. 

Bucky smiled sadly, “Are you insane enough to be with me again?” 

You grinned through your tears, pulling him by his neck down to your level and smashing your lips on top of his. This was something that you’ve missed for months, and you couldn’t help but try and stay in this moment forever. 

He tapped your thighs, signalling for you to jump around his waist and allowing your bodies to match like puzzle pieces. His lips turned up into a smile, his legs carrying you back to your bedroom. 

The kiss was feverish and needy, the two of you tasting each other and craving it more and more. 

Bucky pulled away for a moment, “So, I’ll take that as a yes?” 

Your chest heaved as you struggled to get words out, only nodding and pulling him back down towards you. 

Okay y’all only a few hours left before season 4 airs, here have some theories

We all know that king Alfor hid all the five lions from Zarkon, but somehow the Red Lion ended on a galra ship.

Why the Red Lion? How did Zarkon find it instead of, I don’t know, Black, a lion he already has a connection with.

Haggar couldn’t have found it either since she only felt Blue was in the Castle of Lions after Allura woke up. Until that moment the lions were hidden from them, as well as the fact that Allura was alive (probably because the lions are connected to Allura’s life force)

So did Sendak conveniently bump into Red just before he arrived to Arus? Not likely

Let’s recap, we know king Alfor took Allura to cryo-pod shortly before sending the lion away. Afterwards he left to confront Zarkon.

In ‘The Ark of Taujeer’ Shiro says: “The fact that the Red Lion came to help Keith from so far away is a vital piece of information. We now have proof that a lion and a Paladin can, in fact, connect over a far greater distance that we realized”, regarding on how Zarkon is tracking them but I think there’s more to it vital piece of information sounds too specific tbh

As from season 3, we know for sure Alfor is the original Red Paladin.

We have seen the Red Lion come to life in order to save Keith already, and I don’t think that’s a Keith-Red-bonding-thing sure, we haven’t seen it happen with Lance just yet but he’s only been piloting Red for, like, 6 episodes and Lancy Lance doesn’t get into as many life-or-death situations as Keith.

The Red Lion may test her Paladins before allowing them to pilot her, but even if out of all the lions she’s whose trust is most difficult to earn, she’s also the most protective. And this is because the Red Lion is ready to take action, if she feels her Paladin is in danger she’ll go to their aid ready to fight anyone on her way.

So when this was about to happen

The Red Lion came back and tried to save Alfor, and that’s how the galra managed to capture her.


Because I thought this would be a great way to show off your demon fusion


design based off of this amazing artist

inktober day 10 - bruised boys

@kpopfanfictrash, @the-porcelain-doll-xo, anyone else who’s into BTS…. pls….I need fic recs… especially for the Softest bun Taehyung ;~; but all of them rlly

When Anders begins to hear the Calling, he’s not quite sure that’s actually what it is. He’s experienced something like it twice: when he accompanied Hawke to the Warden prison and when Corypheus came back to Thedas and tried to control the Grey Wardens, but this is…not the same. It’s so soft at first that he almost believes it’s Justice stirring, or a demon that wormed its way through the Fade and to his consciousness. After all, it’s been so long–Anders is nearly an old man now!–he began to assume he would never hear the Calling…

But then the nightmares return worse than ever before; dreams of Archdemons and Darkspawn and Blight that spreads over the earth, festering like a wound. Anders wakes from his slumber every night with violent shakes and cold sweats. And then the first bruise-like spread of corruption appears on his skin.

This is it, he thinks. He is done running once and for all. Even the Calling has come to collect him.

A romanced Hawke that survived the Fade will plead with Anders. They want to fight like they always have, as if the Calling is a foe that can be felled like the Arishok and this makes Anders smile sadly. They beg for more time and as soon as they can, Hawke sends letters to all their contacts they made during Inquisition time. All return with nothing.

It’s bittersweet, but they know what has to be done.

He has time for long goodbyes with the friends that stayed, one last note in his manifesto, a last cuddle with his cat, one last night with his love. Anders’ life was longer than he would have hoped, freer than he could have imagined, and he reflects on the new world order that he personally set into motion as he makes his way to the Deep Roads. Some of it was good, perhaps most of it was bad, but Anders has hope for the future.

Justice consoles him on his march to death. He promises him power to take out as many Darkspawn as they can.

“When I die, what will happen to you, Justice?”

Silence, then: I am not certain.

Romanced Hawke accompanies him the whole way. Blue will ignore the reality, purple will make endless jokes, red will swear they will go down with him, all Hawkes make sure Anders knows he is loved.

When they get to Orzammar, it feels real. Anders is all at once terrified and relieved. All his running had caught up with him, but never in the ways he would have thought. To think that he only became a Grey Warden to avoid the Templars and the Circle, and now…now there was nothing but darkness and death before him, and he had nowhere left to run. No one would take a man with the Calling.

Hawke cries. He cries. Anders almost is selfish enough to ask them to come with him, just so he didn’t have to be alone, but he knows better. He prays for Hawke to live out the rest of their lives well, he truly hopes they do. He puts on a brave face. He squares his shoulders.

And then he accepts his Calling.

it’s my last day at church tomorrow and apparently everyone wants to pray for me so I’m gonna have to go up in the center of the sanctuary and be Paid Attention To and pretend that any of this moves me emotionally (it never has which is part of why i felt so guilty before), all of which I hate, but it’ll be my last time so it’s endurable

anyway they wanted to “lay hands on me” bc that’s extremely standard when praying for someone in this type of Christianity, but i said no to that because that many people touching me for that long is like……a Nightmare so now Mom’s going to touch me and they’re going to touch Mom, but I don’t actually get why touching is necessary? 

like if it comforts the person you’re praying for, sure that’s a good thing, but like, it clearly doesn’t me, so why bother with the circumlocution? surely if God is all-powerful, He has the capability to hear and understand prayers without the pray-ers being in physical contact with the subject of the prayer?

I’m not mocking here, it’s just weird to me that Mom’s response to “I don’t want to be touched by strangers” is “okay, the strangers will touch me on your behalf while I touch you to pass it on” and not “okay, touching isn’t necessary”.


Seriously go check out her Hip Hop AU - her art in general or actually just go check out her blog on its own!!!

Rapper!Iwa didn’t leave my mind for days and I’m just.. just so happy I stumbled upon your blog.

You’re such a sweet person and I love your drawings? And your Hip Hop AU is gold. I’M SORRY THAT I’M DRAWING YOU ANGSTY STUFF TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU? (what is even wrong with me)

I really enjoy your AU and all the work you put in it. I’m soo looking forward to future updates and where this will be going. I think it’s really impressive how you convey emotions and moods ;A; I’m jelly!!

The song that this is inspired by is Blackbear - idfc

I think it can be applied to angsty, (mutual) pining iwaoi pretty well and it breaks my heart everytime I hear it. Doesn’t stop me from putting it in my personal iwaoi-playlist that I listen to kinda everyday hah. orz

Adding to all of that I was pretty emotional last night and drew this at 2 am. Yeah.

I hope you “enjoy” it ahahahha (๑•́ω•̀๑)

inktober #19


Keeping a calm face and staying strong

The only one I don’t need to fool is myself 

Kaito needs a cathartic cry too

No Place Like Home

The future is a different country. Sometimes it’s hard to find home. 

A What If Peggy (with the Serum) was in the ice with Steve AU (Steggy Secret Santa gift for @bisexualhayesmorrisons)

Note: This is… slightly more melancholy in tone than I’d really intended, especially at the beginning, but I hope you enjoy it regardless. Also, this is not compliant with Peggy’s backstory in S2.

“I’ve gotta put her in the water,” Steve said, looking at her as she fiddled with the radio, trying to get someone on the line.

She didn’t acknowledge the words. She focused on the panel in front of her, but her shoulders were tense and the red nails of her empty hand bit into her palm. They had both looked at the instruments panel. It didn’t take fluency to know that whatever Schmidt had pressed earlier had locked them on course to New York. There wasn’t any choice, and they both knew it. The plane had to go down, and the only way to accomplish that now was to do it manually.


She looked over at him, her hair mussed and falling in her eyes after the fighting with Schmidt. She watched him with resignation for a moment. She’d always known there was the possibility that they might not live to see the end of the war, but right now it was overwhelming. She sighed and went still, when Steve reached out to take her hand, gently pressing his gloved fingers against her clenched ones, prompting her fingers uncurling to wrap tightly around his. Some of the tension ebbed away from her frame, but there was a fear there that wouldn’t be assuaged with a mere touch.

“If I could just find the bloody frequency-” Peggy grumbled, adjusting the radio panel with her free hand. There was a pop and crackle before static.

“I’m sorry, Peggy.”

She sighed. “I know.”

Ice stretched across the horizon, a white blanket. There was a moment of regret and pain for all the things neither of them would get to see now. All those plans and promises they’d both acknowledged but never quite made were going to end here in the cold. When Steve let go of her hand to take hold of the stick, Peggy laid her hand on top of his and nodded.

Together, they pushed, sending the plane careening down toward the ice below.

“I guess we won’t make that dance after all,” Steve said, looking at her. He laughed, a sad chuckle that sent a lance through her heart. “Probably for the best, I would have hated to step on your toes.”

Peggy was tempted to laugh. Of all the things for him to worry about- even if it was for nothing. “Far worse things have happened to me than you stepping on my toes, Steve.”

He smiled sadly. “We could have had the band play something slow.”

Peggy woke gasping, a sharp prickle running across her skin like needles. It was a feeling of ice in her veins. She had dreamed of the crash before, the feeling of the wind and the cold and the searing pain that followed. It was never the same twice, sometimes she dreamed of other horrors: of the Schmidt’s red skull laughing as the plane went down in flames and the feel of blood pooling at her feet and covering her hands.

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i read a stevebucky firefighter au earlier and it was basically a stevebucky chicago fire au and I’ve been thinking about it all day

Confession - Part 1

Chanyeol angsty scenario where you’re his best friend and you’re dating Suho (who happens to be his friend so ofc why not) and he confesses his love for you when Suho is out of the country filming.

I love these kinds of scenarios >:)

This is my first ever written scenario so sorry if it’s a little long and mushy gushy *cringe* (bc honestly I love these types of scenarios)!

I couldn’t have done it without some great friends of mine (you know who you guys are <3)

Also, please let me know how you guys feel about it! I would love to hear your opinions on it! <3

Originally posted by bikons

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☣ starter call! so i do owe a few final starters from my last starter call. ( all of them are being queued! ) but give this a like if you’re interested in a lyric starter! these will also be queued and will spew out sometime next week. please remember: mutuals only.

The Long and Short, Short of It

Description: Eren tries to bake cookies for his Valentine. It’s a disaster. 

Dumb fluff fic. ~2800 words

Ao3 Link

“What are we doing exactly?” Armin asked, eyeing the mess piling up on the counters.

By “we” he meant the royal “we,” not “we” as in “he and Eren” because he definitely wanted no part of whatever was about to take place. However, concern for his best friend meant that he couldn’t simply ignore the ominous sound of a brand new cookie sheet being slapped on the counter. So the “we” was more of a suggested “we.” A wee “we,” if you will. The kind of “we” that involves Armin taking Eren to the hospital for burns and being berated by Mikasa, because this is where this endeavor was heading.

“I was thinking how everyone gives chocolate or roses for Valentine’s Day,” Eren said, pulling out a large bag of flour.

“Right,” Armin nodded, following so far.

“And it is so trite, you know? Just more of the consumptive capitalist Hallmark culture that is poisoning our society.”

“Mhm,” Armin nodded, still focusing on the word “consumptive” and wondering if Eren meant that capitalism was like a disease or if he meant “consumer culture.” There was a lot of work to being Eren’s best friend. A great portion of it was saying as little as possible.

“And I got to thinking, instead of being just another cog in the machine, another screw in the wheel, why not instead make something?”

Armin was stuck on “screw in the wheel.”

“I called up Sasha and asked her for her favorite cookie recipe and I’m going to do it. I’m going to make cookies so delicious and so beautiful everyone on Pinterest will be all ‘Wow, those look amazing can I have the recipe?’ and I’ll be all ‘SIKE! The secret ingredient is my baller cooking skills!’”

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