my sidgeno AU

Silly AU Prompt: In which flower goes to sleep every night and wakes up in a different universe where Sid and Geno are together. He sees actor AU, time travel AU, mob wife AU, mermaid AU, bakery AU, etc etc until he resigns to his fate and one day, wakes up back in his own universe without knowing, and goes into practice thinking huh, he’s back to being a goalie this time, he was kind of looking forward to making cupcakes with baker!Sidney again.

(He was kind of surprised not to see Sidney being with Geno, but how well they work together. Pens captain Geno kissing Sidney at the coffeeshop goodbye before practice, Sidney cuddling his baby daughter while Geno snuggles him from behind; it looks like they’d never spent a day apart.) 

And when he sees Sidney, he just assumes this is an alternate universe he’s visited before (he’s been keeping mental tabs, and he’s getting pretty damn good at it, too), and says in greeting, “Morning, Sid. How’re the baby? Still keeping you up at night? G at home?”

Sidney freezes, as do the rest of the team.

“What?” Sidney chokes out, his throat dry. 

Flower waves vaguely as he gets dressed. “By the way, your husband looked like he was going to pass out the last time I saw him. I’m surprised he stayed up the entire night, too.”

What?” Sidney looks like he’s choking on a grapefruit. “My what?”

“Your husband,” Flower says slowly, then as if he remembered something. “Oh right. You told me to send you the video from a week ago, but my phone is a piece of trash. I can show you right now though.”

He presses play. It’s a very quick video of a barbecue, with all three Crosby-Malkin spawns running around the backyard screaming, and the rest of the team and their families in the background. In-video Sidney is cradling a yawning baby girl, showing her to Flower and saying, “Say hi to Uncle Flower! Can you wave for Daddy? Can you say hi?”

“Stop bother my husband,” a voice that is unmistakably Geno’s says from the phone. He steps into the frame and kisses Sidney’s hair, then strokes the baby’s face with one finger, his expression fond. 

“What is this?” real Sidney whispers. “How–what–?”

“It gets funnier,” Flower insists. “It’s at the 1:20 mark that Cara sprays the soaker on G’s crotch. You’ll be glad I documented it.”

“Flower, I’m not married,” Sidney says, transfixed. The Pens team are silent, also watching the video and seeing snippets of their own smiling faces in the screen. 

“‘Course you’re married,” Flower says absently. “We all went to your wedding. And G bought you that huge ring you can see from Mars–” He blinks. “Wait. You’re not married?”

You grounded until college,” in-video Geno’s voice yells, followed by a series of giggles and shrieks as he swoops his oldest daughter up and blows on her tummy. “Forever and ever.”

Flower looks at the video and presses pause. The locker room is silent. Sidney looks like he’s going to be sick. 

“Oh.” He doesn’t know what else to say. “Oh.”

“What’s everyone doing?” Geno’s voice asks, this time not from the phone. The team turns to him. “What? Why everyone look at me?”

Please imagine with me the jazz musician!Geno AU:

Sid decides to change things up a bit by going to a bar that advertises live music some nights. The bar has a laid back atmosphere, and no one comes up to him for an autograph or a selfie. It’s great. And the jazz band is great: lively and sensual and full of surprises.

They’re all exceptional musicians, but Sid’s eye keeps roving back to the bassist. He’s about as tall as the instrument he plays and has an easy smile. And frankly, his hands are enormous, and the way they glide over the strings is very… inspiring.

Sid comes back often enough that he becomes something of a regular, so perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising when one night, while the band is taking a break, the bassist slides into the seat next to him at the bar and orders a drink.

“See you in here a lot,” the man says, his voice deep and accented. He nods toward Sid’s glass. “Like the drinks?”

Feeling bold, Sid says, “I like the music better.”

The man grins, tongue clenched between his teeth in an endearing way. “Good. Always happy when people enjoy our music. I’m Geno.” He holds out one of those big hands to shake; Sid takes it, and takes in the warmth as well as the texture of the calluses.

“I’m Sid.”

“Nice to meet.”

Geno lets go and takes a long sip of his drink, and Sid watches the bob of his throat with fascination. Bolstered by the loose atmosphere, a little liquid courage, and the fact that Geno approached him first, Sid lets the wild streak he feels building in him give voice to the thought he’s been turning over for weeks.

“Are you doing anything after?”

Geno gazes at him, steady and considering. Sid lets him look, trying not to fidget under the scrutiny, more tasking than a full media onslaught. But finally Geno shrugs, and tosses the rest of his drink back with one smooth motion. “No plans later.” His smile is slow but sure, and maybe a little cocky, which Sid finds he rather likes. “But maybe you do?”

With confidence, Sid returns the smile. “Maybe. How about dinner?”

Geno hums. “Will be late for dinner.”

“Is that a no?”

“No, dinner is good,” Geno replies. “Usually hungry after set is over. I go out with band but can skip tonight.” His gaze dips briefly to Sid’s mouth, and Sid encourages it by wetting his lips. “Usually tired too, so maybe need coffee.”

Softly, Sid says, “I can get you coffee.”

Geno’s grin returns, full force. “Then you wait for me. Give you good show.” And it doesn’t really matter whichever way he’s implying: Sid believes him.

So Geno goes back to his double bass, and Sid listens to him play the rest of the set. The music ends with a dreamy, lilting sort of song, and Sid gathers up his light jacket while Geno puts his instrument away. When they step outside into the brisk Pittsburgh air, the night feels full of possibilities.

8

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition AU: 

Sidney only has seven days to make sure he and his team gets this house ready for the Johnston family to move into. He needs Geno and the help of his construction crew to do it. Problem is, Sid and Geno never gets along on these jobs, butting heads over everything from hardwood floors to the appropriate size of kitchen windows. But Sid is a perfectionist and Geno is the best in the business. He can handle seven days of Geno and his stupidly handsome face as long as it means getting the job done right…

anonymous asked:

Magical realism: Geno is a werewolf who keeps showing up on Sid's obscenely early morning runs until Sid gets used to the weird stray dog who follows him. Geno starts bringing his pack (rookies are puppies) until one day Sid runs into a friend who is like "holy fuck those are wolves, Sid! what kind of fucking dogs do they have in Canada! oh god I'm gonna die!" but the wolves act like Sid's pack and happily follow him around. Sid brings them into his house when it rains because he worries.

turn the fucking radio up because it’s playing my SONG right now

So obviously in my model!Sid au he and Geno both request to work with each other all the time, at first because they both have massive crushes and then because they’re actually dating. It’s a great way to do their jobs and get to see each other since their schedules are so busy.

The thing is, they’re meant to be doing like, manly sports ads most of the time.

So photographers and directors keep having to be like “less sexual tension please oh my god stop looking at each other like that” as their shoots together edge further and further into Obviously In Love.

At first Sid was hired because Geno was awkward in front of the camera and didn’t know much English and he needed the professional help, but once he gets better the photographers are like “okay Geno you’re comfortable enough, Sid can go, we need less Tension” and of course Geno’s like “uh…. no. he stays” and gives them the Intimidating Russian Bear Stare Down.

They try a slightly different tactic. “Maybe stand like, apart? not touching each other?”

Geno, draping himself over Sid’s back, arms around his waist, chin on his shoulder “I don’t understand the question.”

And there’s Conveniently Forgotten English at moments.

“Sid can’t go, he’s interpreter and my English very bad”

“We all know Sid doesn’t speak Russian”

“He is, how you say… good at body language. Is why he’s model.”

And speaking of models, a lot of hockey players date female models, so Sid’s probably friends with like half the WAGs before meeting them through Geno.

He walks into some team function and recognizes someone’s girlfriend and is all “Hey I clutched you dramatically in the rain for that perfume shoot, nice to see ya again.”

The Right to Dream

I 100% blame Cap and @theladyscribe for this.


*Whispers* Lex Luthor!Geno…billionaire Geno showering Sid in money because that’s what you do with a trophy husband you don’t want to leave you.

(This is a Geno that has no idea Sid is superman).

This is a Geno who thinks Sid married him for his money to save Cole harbour from financial crisis by giving Geno reason to invest in the small town—to fix up the run down rinks and create jobs for the thousand of people who needs one.

(This turned into a Harlequin/Superman mash up. I’m sorry. I’m 100% trash. I don’t know how that happened.)

There’s Geno giving Sid all the jewellry. All of it.. And there’s Sid pretending not to like it and cursing up a storm because he never actually says no (can’t when Geno is beaming at him expectantly like that), but it’s a bitch to get off all the pretty diamonds (and not lose them) when Sid has to fly off to save the world, all without his husband noticing somehow.

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remember that sidgeno universe swap AU headcanon i made from way back, like married-to-Geno-professor in Russian Lit Sidney somehow gets swapped with NHL Sidney in the universe where Sidney is the Captain of the Pens while driving to PPG Paints Arena with his toddler son so they can pick up Geno and go out for lunch or something. Anyways, when Sidney and son walk through those doors, they cross the border into the NHL universe.

“Woah, Sid, I was joking about stealing a child,” Flower says, when he sees Sidney, holding Evan in his arms. “You didn’t…actually steal him, did you?”

“You’re not that funny, Marc-Andre,” Sidney says, rolling his eyes. “Where’s Geno?”

“‘Marc-Andre’?” Flower echoes. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“Just tell me where he is,” Sidney says. “Evan’s hungry.”

“Hungry,” the child in Sidney’s arm says. “Daddy, want macnchee.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Sidney coos, nuzzling his nose against the child’s. “We’re gonna find Papa and then we can go get something to eat.”

“Woah, what?” Flower gapes, trailing quickly behind Sidney, as Sidney walks briskly towards the rink. “Sid, is that your son. What the hell is going on?”

“I’m not in the mood for–Geno, there you are! I’ve called you like twice but you didn’t pick up.” Sidney sets Evan down, and Evan totters towards Geno, latching onto his ankle. “You ready to go?”

“Go?” Geno repeats, staring at the child, then back up at Sidney. “Who this?”

Sidney lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Geno, look, I’m hungry, Evan’s hungry, I just want to get to the restaurant as soon as possible and then finish writing the midterm for next week–”

“What are you talking about, Sid? What midterm? Why you not dressed for practice?”

Evgeni. Cut it out with the antics,” Sidney says sharply in Russian. The rookies look up with wide-eyes. “I know we’ve been fighting about our schedules, but this isn’t the time for that conversation. You’re behaving like a child. Can we just please go?”

What the hell is happening here?” Tanger says, toweling off his hair. “Why’s Sidney speaking Russian?”

Sidney sucks in a breath. “Can I just have one conversation with my husband without getting interrupted every other word? God.” He counts to five in his mind, then opens his eyes. Jake had dropped his water bottle. Geno is staring at him, mouth slightly open. “What? Why’s everyone staring at me?”

3

Wedding AU — “In this upcoming issue of WHIRL Magazine, we have the exclusive wedding photos of Pittsburgh Penguins’ superstars, Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin! Crosby and Malkin have been dating for several years before finally tying the knot in front of friends, family, former teammates, and current teammates. While the ceremony was very formal and elegant, the reception was filled with fun and laughter and included endless selfies, penguin-themed decorations, and a Stanley Cup cake to match the one they won this past season!”

anonymous asked:

Sid being picked for the 2nd task of the tri wizard tournament as geno's most important person. When sid is asked he is blushing, but he agrees cuz he is genos! Special! Person! When geno sees sid underwater he kind of blanks out...until they get to the surface and sid is okay, it doesnt matter that he won get sid a blanket!! other contestants are very weary/ slightly scared of geno the rest of the tournament. The merpeople respect him.

It’s cold. He knows this much. When they break the surface of the water, Sidney gasps for air as he’s reanimated, feeling Geno’s arms around him and hearing Geno’s voice shouting at the Durmstrangs, anyone, to get Sidney a blanket, quick.

The Beauxbatons are all yelling and crowding in from behind the Durmstrangs to grab Sidney and pull him up to the docks, Flower and Tanger especially.

“Are you okay? Holy shit, Sid,” they’re shouting. Flower taps a drying spell on Sidney’s clothes. “How do you feel?”

Sidney’s lips are quivering. The water really is cold. He remembers staring at the merpeople and their violent scowls like he’s watching them from inside a fishbowl. That’s the Durmstrang’s prize, they had hissed to each other. Sidney Patrick Crosby. I smell Veela in his blood. He’s lovely, isn’t he? The Durmstrangs do love a pretty face–

When Geno shoves his way back to Sidney with a heavy blanket, looking rather mournful, Sidney notices that he also doesn’t look like someone who won first place.

“Geno,” Sidney says, his voice raw from being frozen. “Geno, did you win? You won, right? Congratulations!”

“Put you in danger, Sid,” Geno says, his voice as heavy as the blanket. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He can’t keep the smile off his face. “They asked me. If I wanted to be your special per–Um. If I wanted to be the objective. I said yes.”

“You did?”

“Geno,” Sidney says again, tucking his face into Geno’s neck and feeling Geno hesitantly wrap his arms around Sidney. He’s very warm. “Geno, you won!”

“You okay?” Geno says again, still shaken. “Not hurt anywhere?”

Sidney peppers kisses all over Geno’s face, until the frown melts off and Geno’s grinning triumphantly. He finally turns to the crowd, his arm around Sidney’s waist, and roars out some chant that the Durmstrangs echo.

“Lucky Malkin,” he hears a Durmstrang sigh jealously. “How the hell he managed to snag a veela is beyond me.”

By being kind, Sidney thinks. By seeing Sidney as Sidney and not a piece of meat. By being goofy and loving Sidney when he’s being silly as well and stubborn as a mule and irrationally superstitious. By listening to Sidney’s stories about his family, about Taylor, about being bullied, and pulling him close as he murmured sincerely, “I’m so sorry, Sid.”

“You’re incredible, G,” Sidney says, pressing yet another tender kiss to Geno’s jaw. “You’re amazing.”

8

AU – “For the past year, there have been many rumors circulating that Pittsburgh Penguins captain, Sidney Crosby, and member of the Russian boyband Metallurg, Evgeni Malkin, have been dating. Crosby and Malkin were first spotted together at an airport in Moscow last summer, but both have dodged all speculating questions so far. At the 2014 NHL Awards, not only did Crosby win the Art Ross Trophy, Hart Trophy, and Ted Lindsay Award, Crosby also brought Malkin as his "plus one” and confirmed their relationship!“

8

Cinderella AU: When commoner Sidney indulged himself by attending the royal ball held in honor of Prince Evgeni of Russia, he certainly hadn’t planned on catching the prince’s eye, nor dancing with him. At curfew, Sidney had no choice but to return to his boring life, not even noticing until he was home that he lost his precious necklace. Within the following days, Prince Evgeni’s men searched throughout the towns for the beautiful and mysterious owner of the necklace….

anonymous asked:

So at my university to fundraiser the sports teams will auction themselves off and people will bid on them to spend the day with them or dress them up in silly outfits or whatever. So picture soccer captain Sid being auctioned and Geno gets into a bidding war with a rival Frat who's trying to buy sid just to piss Geno off

“Everyone put money in hat,” Geno demands, pushing back to the Rhos at the Kick It Off! fundraiser. He’s holding out his Penguins cap. “Right now, immediately.”

“Why?” Jake says, even as he’s fishing out a twenty. “Didn’t we already donate at the front door?”

“They’re bidding on a date with Sid,” Flower says, passing the cap around. “If the Rhos don’t win against the football team, Geno’s forehead vein will burst.” He shouts, “Come on, boys. This is gonna be cheaper than paying for Geno’s impending ER trip. Pull up your Venmos if you don’t have cash on hand.” 

Olli nudges Jake and points at the football team, who’s passing a fucking bucket of cash around. The captain, this big, beefy guy who’s been leering at Sidney and Sidney’s Ass every five seconds, is giving Jake the creeps. 

“We’re gonna have to send Geno to the ER,” Conor moans, dragging his hands down his face. “They have a cash bucket. We have a dinky little money hat. Oh no, oh God, I can’t breathe–”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, don’t freak out,” Jake says. “We have to win. We will win.”

-

“Fifty!” a girl shouts. Her letters say that she’s from the Beta Sig sorority. Her sisters are all giggling and cheering her on.

“Fifty?” the announcer says. “We got a fifty! I think we can do a little better than that for our star player!”

Sidney shifts uncomfortably on the podium, but he waves a shy hello in the Rhos’ direction. Geno yells out, “Seventy-five!” Then, after shooting a death glare at the football captain, he adds, “I love you, Sid! You look amazing!” 

People are whistling, and the sororities are ‘aww-ing’ among themselves after this declaration. The football captain narrows his eyes. 

“One hundred and fifty,” he shouts, followed by more hollering from his team. He gives Sidney a self-satisfied once-over, and Sidney turns to Geno in a kind of helpless panic.

“How much do we have in here?” Jake whispers.

“Two hundred,” Conor says. “As long as Geno doesn’t get to that number too fast, we might be able to outlast them.”

Two hundred,” Geno screams.

“Fuck,” Olli says. 

“Two hundred from the Rho Ep boys,” the announcer crows. “Going once, going twice–”

“It’s okay, Hags went over to check out how much money they had,” Olli says. “Their bucket was full of fucking ones and quarters. They don’t have more than us.”

“Three hundred dollars!” the football captain shouts out, and Geno turns his head so fast Jake was afraid he’d get whiplash. “For a date with Sidney Patrick Crosby!” 

“They were using Venmo,” Conor cries, spiraling again as he scrolls through the public transactions. “We’re fucked.”

“Jesus Christ,” the announcer says. “Looks like you’re popular today, aren’t you, Sid?” 

Sidney says nothing, only a half-hearted shrug aimed mostly at Geno like, ‘Well, you tried your best.’ 

Going once!” the announcer says. “Going twice! And our one and only Croz goes to–”

Five hundred dollars!” a new voice says. Geno’s eyes look like they’re nearly about to pop out of his head as Ovi and the rest of the Kappa Alpha Pis step up. “Five hundred dollars from Kappas for the Rho Eps,” Ovi says, grinning. “Which makes it seven hundred dollars total. For Sidney Patrick Crosby.”

“Shit,” the football team groans.

“Well, damn. Sold,” the announcer says, also gaping.

Sidney makes a delighted, astonished noise, then rushes off the stage and into Geno’s arms, peppering his face with kisses. “You did it! You did it!” he yells. “Thank you, thank you–”

Tanger and Flower are clapping Ovi on the back. “Why’d you do it, man?”

“Was Nicky’s idea,” he says. “Found some leftover in our budget that we didn’t get to use for philanthropy event. Would have gone back to headquarters at year end, so might as well donate it to good cause.”

“Well,” Flower says, looking at Geno hoisting Sidney up and nosing at his boyfriend’s neck, “it went to something, alright. We owe you one.”

“I know,” Ovi says, smiling. “You think I do for charity?”

“I mean, that was kind of the point of this event,” Jake mutters, but he goes unheard as Geno’s cheering and the Rhos’ celebration drown him out. 

8

Sid/Geno AU – Sidney, Geno, and Jack all attend the same high school. Sidney has a crush on Geno; unfortunately, everyone thinks they’re dating but they’re just super close. Sidney doesn’t want to jeopardize his friendship with Geno (who may or may not understand stupid high school gossip), so Sidney’s left to pine over him. Jack is Sidney’s best friend who teases him mercilessly and refuses to watch game tape with them ever again. 

anonymous asked:

So, I'm about to rub my dirty little American hands all over a sport made up by a British woman, but hear me out: Hogwarts students getting fuckin' "Friday Night Football" levels of turnt for quidditch games. Especially since there's only SIX games every year!!! So, imagine that it's either sixth or seventh year, and Sid is comin' in HOT off of his Veela glo-up, and he's so self-conscious because of how people change when he nears them, and frustrated because, maybe a little part of him (1/5)

wishes that Geno would change when he got close, but Geno’s the same as he’s always been. Geno (being part-giant and immune to Sidney’s Veelaness) looks at Sidney the same way he always has because he’s been in love with Sidney this entire time, but also thinks that the random increase in people realizing how perfect Sidney is means that Sidney won’t need to – nor should he ever have to – settle for him. This whole situation blows Ovi’s mind, mostly because he asked Nicky, “Hey, I don’t (2/5)

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