my shito

Aphmau/Heathers shit-post

Can someone tell me who created the Aphmau Heathers Play AU so I can credit them please?? thanks. ON WITH THE SHIT POST!


[Un-edited]

Zane: wait so the character I play looses their virginity willingly right

Katelyn: yeah

Zane: to a terrorist

Katelyn:

Katelyn: aNYWAYS–


Gene: But I don’t wanna blow up the school

Aph: that’s odd because you’re blowing dick every Tuesday.

Gene:

Gene: I feel attacked


Garroth: sticks leg up

Laurance: I’d enter his candy store

Garroth: honey whatcha waiting for

Garroth: step into my candy store

Laurance: I’m down for this–

Katelyn: throws Bible at them nOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS I DONT NEED THE STENCH OF SEX ON MY STAGE OKAY AMEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS OKAY–


Zane: y'know

Zane: if you wanna get with a guy

Zane: just threaten to snap off his dick

Zane: works every time.


Zane: reading over the script

Zane: hey Katelyn

Kate: yeah

Zane: I feel like in the song Seventeen

Kate: yeah

Zane: if my character had only mentioned slushies in that song

Zane: JD wouldn’t have blown up the school

Kate:

Kate: Zane you’re high

Zane: I know.

anonymous asked:

37 with lance?

Going to a supermarket during the night was the equivalent to stepping into another world. It felt strange, the place was silent, the darkness outside made you feel like you were the last being on the planet. The psychotic white lights buzzed every time you passed one, the noise getting smaller only to kick back up when a new light appeared above you as you walked by; a symphony.

You were alone. No one was around as you stood in the aisle, trying to find something to cope with yourself. Not being able to sleep was a curse to you, you always ended up at the store with pajamas on and your hair half up in a rushed attempt to hurry the hell up.

You didn’t realize it began to rain until you looked outside, the light-poles stood carefully at each few corners of the park spaces, casting light onto its emptiness. The drops of rain on the glass reflected their light, an eerie resemblance to a painting.

Placing a carton of ice cream in front of the clerk, he didn’t pick it up. That confused you of course, so you lifted your head.

“Oh! Lance, oh my gosh, I didn’t know you worked here!” You grinned immediately and he chuckled, the smirk on his face when you looked up radiated amusement.

“Yeah, night shifts only though, good pay honestly. The store was actually closing but you came in so I thought I’d let you get some things first. Just to be polite, of course.” He winked at you, swiping the bar code under the red beam of the register.

You smiled, grabbing the bag as he handed it to you and went to hug him goodbye. He asked you for a ride and you agreed, no harm in driving sweet Lance home to his apartment.

You both ran to the car, Lance holding his jacket above the both of your heads as he ran closely behind you. When you reached the car you both got in as quick as you could and laughed.

“What’s the ice cream for, anyway?” Lance’s voice broke the comfortable silence, a hand swiping his damp hair back as he looked at the traffic light.

It became serious now, okay…so maybe the ice cream wasn’t to cope with your sleeping schedule. Maybe it was something more, and yes, it sure as all hell was.

“My uhm, my, my boyfriend broke up with me on Thursday.” You gulped, two days ago he called and shouted at you until you broke and cried, and then finally; the great cherry on top, ‘we’re done’. He hung up and you’ve been eating nothing but ice cream during the night and crying while watching every heartbreaking movie you could think of.

“Aw, no way. I’m sorry, Y/n, he was kind of a dick though, ok sorry that was rude but still!” He smiled, trying to lighten up the mood a bit and it did work. You grinned and shook your head.

“Uhm, Y/n, do you think we could talk?” He scratched the back of his head as you turned a corner and stopped at yet another long red light. You nodded, tucking some hair behind your ears so you could hear a bit more clearly than before.

“I-I uh, well you see,” he stuttered, clearly nervous as he laughed a bit, rubbing his sweaty palms along his legs.

“Wow, no way, THE Lance McClain is nervous? The son of the infamous Daniel and Marta McClain. I am truly, appalled Lance. Truly.” You joked with him, breaking a bond of tension within the rain battered car.

“Yeah, I know right.”

“Mhm.”

“Y/n, I think I might li-no I think I love you actually yeah anyway you can stop here I can walk the rest of the way by-” Before he could open his door, you slammed your finger onto the lock and grabbed Lance.

What.

“Ok listen, you started dating R/n and I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed! Isn’t that just a dapper old time! Welp, bye!” He tried leaving again and you once again stopped him.

“Lance, I uh, I think I love you too.”

“Ya think? Oh that makes it so much better.”

“Oh be quiet.”

And you kissed him, the both of you kissed and for a long time at that. A long, loving and gentle kiss, only to break off into a chorus of smaller ones afterward.

Bonus:
please the light has gone green twice now please just go home together or something.

anonymous asked:

i was reading hunks nsfw hcs and (thanks, 'Shito') is my favorite thing!! ican't stop laughing thank u for that line

I am a serious Adult 😎 👉👉💥 (ur welcome! I’ve seen it a few times on ao3 and it cracks me up)