my shit stuff

Here’s a little sketchdoodle of Arte because I love her and will never be over her. She’s got such a great face for expressions <3

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So I got this hotlix sucker from the pet store the other day and it has a live cricket inside. Its super late like 3 am so i just made a video of me eating it. I wasnt gonna post it because I’m super shy and never post pics on here. But why not it was for fun. So im gonna edit it and post it later. Im not that poppin yet but hopefully it will help some of my tumblr friends get to know me a little better. <3

lockheedelektra  asked:

... ok your drunk history post made me very curious as to who this she-wolf of France is, please elaborate?

OH DAMN, GRAB YOURSELF A MAI TAI, SHITS GONNA GET CRAZY

so does anyone remember braveheart? you remember that lovely girl that Mel Gibson possibly slept with? No, not that one, the other one

That one.

Meet Isabella of France. Born in 1295, she was the third daughter of the king of france, the sixth of seventh children, and was definitely not 20 something and hot during the events of Braveheart. The year William Wallace died, she was nine years old.

Isabella was married to Edward the Second, who was pretty and smart and very much not into women. His true love was Peirs Gaveston, and he showered his ‘brother in arms’ with titles and jewels, even giving Gaveston some of Isabella’s dowry.

After a number of threats of violence, the barons of England decided to punish Gaveston for his arrogance and control over the king. He was chased down during a hunting trip, killed, and left behind on a hill to be picked over by scavenging animals.

Isabella didn’t much care that her husband liked men, she was fine just being his confidant and political ally, and they did end up producing an heir, Edward the Third. She liked real estate, hunting, and fine clothes, and was probably sad that Gaveston was gone once she met her husbands new favorite.

Hugh Despenser had been a friend in Edwards youth, and now that he was at Edwards side again, he wasted no time poisoning Edward against the barons and against Isabella. by 1322, Despenser’s rule over Edward was absolute, he seized land and titles with relish, encouraged Edward toward violence and tyranny, and openly disrespected Isabella in her own home.

Despenser straight up sucked.

By 1325, Isabella was a prisoner in her own home, and only a suggestion from the Pope would let her escape. With the civil war in England becoming violent and tensions between France and England flaring again, it was suggested by Pope XXII that Isabella come back to France on a mission of peace.

As soon as Isabella was back in France, she made it clear that she wasn’t going back until Despenser was removed. She amassed allies and soldiers, and eventually took a lover, Roger Mortimer, who had escaped Despensers tyranny two years before. She actually manuevered her husband into sending her son, the heir to the throne, over to France with her, because he was an idiot? i guess?

Smash cut to 1326, after a whole year of collecting allies, Isabella invaded England. The revolution was the most peaceful of the era, smallfolk and barons alike flocked to her banners, and Edward the Second and Hugh Despenser were captured on November 25th.

they tortured the shit out of despenser by the way.