my shit stuff

5

just imagine…
the moment Lance learns how to unlock his bayard  :’)

slightly older Lance with different guns like, Pistols? Long Sniper rifle? pow pow 
Lance would ACE bc he is a fantastic sharpshooter.

  • Ravenclaw (right after they've graduated hogwarts): You know now, as far as society is concerned, we're adults.
  • Hufflepuff: Yes! Isn't it exciting?
  • Ravenclaw: Adults who have to make their own decisions about their lives.
  • Hufflepuff: It's so freeing, isn't it?
  • Ravenclaw: I have no idea what I'm doing and I want to go back to school.
  • Hufflepuff: ...
  • Ravenclaw: I don't want to do classes or anything, I just want someone to cook for me and tell me when meals are so I don't forget and basically be able to ignore life's responsibilities.
5

Animagi? Animagi.

Newt’s animagus form is a Eurasian Red Squirrel, Tina’s is a pigeon, Graves’ is a greying timber wolf (most people assume he’s just a very large dog) and Credence’s is a Hebridean lamb/sheep :’ )

Meanwhile, Jacob had no idea what’s going on but he’s a little weirded out by all these vaguely familiar animals…

Remind me to roll a fighter next...

I was running my players through a 5e campaign when a miniboss with 55 hp they were sent to kill heard them coming and fled the hideout with the party hot on his tail. He got out into the open 2 turns before they did.

Me(DM): [miniboss] is 120 feet down the road to the west, and doesn’t look like he plans to slow down.

Our halfling rogue with only 25 feet movespeed: He’s out of my range, we should check his room to see if he left clues about where he would go.

The level 6 fighter with improved critical, +4 to dex and a +1longbow: Nah, how bout we just kill him? I use action surge and attack four times with my longbow.

She then proceeds to roll four attack rolls and have all four land on either 19 or 20. The rogue falls out of his chair laughing

Me(resisting to urge to change to up his health total): Ok, Roll 8d8+20 for damage

She rolls a 59 for damage.

Me: …he’s dead… Anything you want to add?

Fighter: JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!!!!