my sense of humor is just so deep

Misreading the Situation

Pairing: Stuart x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Words: 3300

Request:  Ok I got a Stuart request! How about the reader is Billy’s daughter and she meets Stuart thinks he’s a complete asshole but then Stuart gets drunk and confesses that he loves her in a phone call that was supposed to be to Billy but it actually is placed to the reader then the reader gives Stuart a chance and maybe they get it on idk you take it from there

Author’s Note: This took so long to write and I apologize immensely. Thanks to @dumbass-stilinski and @rememberstilinski for looking this over for me! I hope you all enjoy the filthy sin!

Originally posted by dylanholyhellobrien

Keep reading

Memelord!Ignis Headcanons

i’m just gonna compile some of my headcanons here for you guys to see whenever. add to this!! I love hearing from yall

  • Between puns and the internet, Ignis knows that his sense of humor is ruined and he’s accepted it
  • Some of the memes he laughs at (deep, hearty laughs) make no fucking sense. “Hear it hurgling” makes him lose his shit, and he begs Cindy to say it every time he sees her
  • If you send him a weird picture with no context you will hear him laughing from the other room
  • “Bone app the teeth”
  • Occasionally just… sounds like a shitpost if you listen, but his voice is so smooth that only a few people catch him
  • “I suppose there’s not really anything stopping you from eating literal dirt. Maybe with the right seasoning, it’s even enjoyable.” “Iggy what the fuck.”
  • His camera roll is full of Kermit reaction pictures because he’s sure that Kermit is the best thing to happen to the internet
  • When Gladio leaves the group to face Gilgamesh, he texts Ignis at one point to ask how he’s holding up without him. Ignis responds with this and nothing else:
My Love Letter to INFJs

A while ago, I saw a post someone had written about ENFJs, and it honestly helped me a lot. I wanted to return the favor and write one about my favorite type. Anyone who’s followed me for any amount of time knows that I think INFJs are bae. I adore them so much, both as individuals and as a type.

So what qualifies me to write this post? I have three good friends who are INFJs and know several more beside. It’s probably unusual to be acquainted with so many people of this rare type, but we just gravitate toward each other, and I’m grateful for each and every one of them.

What I’ve noticed is that all of you have terrible self-esteem. Without fail. You all think that you’re horrible people and are so incredibly hard on yourselves (tell me who made you feel this way and they will have hell to pay from me), and it breaks my heart to see you feeling this way when I think you make the sun shine. So I decided to make this post.

INFJ, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

First of all, your energy is incredible. You have this quiet, yet intense energy, and it just draws people in. I can always tell when someone is an INFJ, because you all put off this same collected, focused, yet inviting energy. Even when you feel like the world is falling apart, you exude calm, and you’ve always helped ground me personally. When my world is falling apart, I can always go to you and you’ll calm me down. Just being around you is calming.

Keep reading

Notes from a Scorpio to each sign about past relationships with them

Aries: We are constantly fighting and making up. I find it hard to please you in conversation. Everything I tell you is either shut down or the start of a war. You don’t meet me half way. We have so much passionate and amazing sex, but I just don’t feel like I am enough for you, but for some reason I keep trying to be. I love you, just love me back.

Taurus: We totally get each other but you’re always talking to so many other people and your feelings change weekly it seems like. One week you like me and the next you like somebody else, it’s hard to keep up. In some ways we are like twins but I can never tell what you actually want from me.

Gemini: We laugh at little things and we are always trying to do something fun together! We get kinda bad about having sex, because we do it so frequently. We agree about a lot of things but the small disagreements we do have seem to get the best of us.

Cancer: We started out great. You were my best friend, and then at one point you became my other half. To this day, even though we didn’t work out, I’m glad we were together. I learned a lot from you. You were there when I was scared and yet also, you were there to make my good days even better. The only flaw that got the best of us was that I couldn’t be controlled by you anymore, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed space, and all you would do was smother me even more. You tried your best to understand where I was coming from but in the end, you were more scared of losing me than you wanted me to be happy.

Leo: You were different than anybody else, and for that you will always stand out. You didn’t want to leave me, but I made you. Like Cancer, you didn’t know how to give me space. Although you tried your best, you needed more of me than I was willing to give you. I don’t know if it was because you caught me at a bad time in life or if we just weren’t meant to be, but we needed to end. You were a great friend and you always tried to help me with everything, but something just wasn’t there. At first, you were a great listener, but after a while I felt like you didn’t like hearing about everything that was on my mind anymore, and I guess when you made me feel that way just one time, that feeling stuck with me. I’m truly sorry.

Virgo: Gosh you’re amazing. Nobody understands me the way you do, and in that aspect, you really are my best friend. We can talk about anything and eventually it will turn out being deep. I find myself telling you things that I don’t tell anybody else. We have this unspoken connection that allows us to just click so well together. I think at first everybody knew we liked each other besides each other. We are cute together, and all of our friends are secretly rooting for us. I hope some day we let each other in all the way and explore all the chemistry between us.

Libra: We are always goofing around. We have similar sense of humor that brings us close. You’re a great friend, but you’re like a one way street that I’m trying to go the other way down. It doesn’t work. We get each other, but you don’t ever see things the same way as I do. I’m glad we mutually decided to be friends, because you are one of the most influential friends I have in my life.

Scorpio: We were perfect. If any past relationship I have been in would be considered “goals” it would have been the relationship I had with you. We clicked. We became best friends instantly. We talked about everything and nothing all at once. We told each other we liked each other once, just once, and that was enough for both of us. You gave me space when I needed it, but never failed to spend as much of your free time with me as you could. I’m always going to be cheering you on in everything you do. Still to this day you mean the world to me. You showed me how I should be loved. You were the only person who knew how to love me, and that’s why on some level I will always consider us soul mates.

Sagittarius: We never dated, but we definitely should have. So much untouched  chemistry between us. We are great friends. We laugh and joke around all the time. We both were just a little too awkward to start anything to be more than friends. With you it’s more of a “what could have been” because we never tried. We never gave it a go. Then slowly we just kind of decided to go for different people. A part of me will always wonder what could have happened between us.

Capricorn: I was in a difficult position when you liked me. I was with somebody, and I don’t cheat. You kind of started liking me really fast. I never tried to make it a competition, but you made it one, and then you decided you didn’t want to wait for me. Understandable. You were one of a kind honestly, and had such great intentions. I really hope that someday somebody makes you happy. You have so much love to give and that’s what makes you stand out.

Aquarius: We were always kind of difficult together. Hot n cold. On and off. With you I never got stability. You cheated. I cried. We would make up and then suddenly all the same issues would come up again and you made me feel like everything was always my fault, but you couldn’t ever let me leave you. For whatever reason, whenever we would leave each other, we would always come back. It became kind of weird that we actually did end, and I’ll always have a sense that we were unfinished.

Pisces: We are great friends. I have so many great memories and laughs with you that I think about all the time. We can talk about so much together and it’s all great. I’m not sure if I could ever really see us together, but I know without a doubt that I would be happy if we were together. Part of me is always going to want to keep you in the friend zone just because you make such a great friend that I can rely on

super random ai hcs, bc i have a Lot honestly?:

delta: actually pretty expressive? u just gotta be good at reading his body language. also, really easily flustered. like Really Easily. 

theta: loves stickers. like a lot. theyll put them on everything including armor n helmets and legit anything u can think of. its 100% an honor to be Sticker’d™

eta: constantly anxious. if theyre relaxed its a miracle, theyre very easily stressed out. on that note they really like white noise generators n stuff, the audio keeps em calm (theyre the type of person to have headphones in 24/7)

iota: really happy and upbeat n also pretty low empathy? like theyre good at comforting they just Cant Relate (thats etas job). also will kick ur ass if u hurt eta or theta

omega: deep, deep down, he unironically loves be my bad boy by cascada. very, very deep. also he listens to nightcore a shocking amount

gamma: his sense of humor is not limited to knock knock jokes. literally any lame thing he will find hilarious. hes got a meme folder. theyre all terrible 

sigma: constantly gets in arguments with delta abt metastability etc. they both have pretty even tones so its like the most heated discussion thats also a complete deadpan uve ever seen. 

Things an ISFP appreciates about the types


You don’t take crap from anyone. Also the best at getting stuff done, getting it done right, and somehow making it look effortless.


You guys are passionate. I have yet to meet an INTJ who didn’t care about something a great deal.  You’re also meticulously analytical and can often describe what I struggle to find words to say or remember. I enjoy the times when you decide to come out of your and head and discuss your ideas or observations with me.


You connect with people so easily.  Ultimate fun friend and soft teddy bear.  You know what you like and you’re passionate about it.  You’re not afraid to make your opinion known.  


You’re very observant and loyal.  I so appreciate that you’ll go out of your way to help me when I ask.  You’re the friend who always has my back.  


I wish more of you existed.   You’re a wizard at emotional support. Somehow you tease all the feels out of me, but it’s okay because you don’t judge.  Also wonderfully snarky and best naughty buddy for life (if I cheat on my diet it’s totally going to be with you).


I love, love when you come out of your shell and get deep with me. Conversations with you are so rewarding. You understand why it’s important to act on instinct and explore the deeper meaning behind what’s on the surface.  Let’s get coffee again soon?


BEST ADVENTURE BUDDY EVER. You make life exciting and fun.  You’re all about doing things for people you care about.  (If I ever get my car stranded in a ditch, you’re the first person I’m gonna call.)


You’re incredibly practical. You keep a cool head during tough situations and offer the best solutions just when they’re needed.  Best sense of humor.  My smile hurts after hanging out with you.


You’re an independent extrovert and able to hold your own.  You’re quick to defend people and causes you  care about.  You also understand the importance of alone time.  *highfive*


You’re a fellow soulful creature.  You’re more in tune with how others think, feel, and believe than most realize. You’d save the world if you could. Also your imaginary world is better than mine.


You save the rest of us from doing dumb stuff on a regular basis.  Secret goofy sarcasm buddy. You’re more loyal than you’d probably like to admit, but I seriously respect you for that.


Your mild obsession with details is actually good for us perceivers (even though we probably frustrate you to tears).  You catch all the important things I miss. You care about people deeply; more than most notice.


You ask all the right questions. I can’t always follow your intuitive leaps, but secretly envy that your brain can do zero to sixty in a matter of seconds.  You can be surprisingly supportive.  


You’re full of surprises and delightfully quirky.  I never know what to expect from you and that keeps life interesting.  You care about people (yes, I noticed). It can be easily missed because you’re quiet about it.


You know everything about everything when it comes to people.  Seriously, if there’s a crisis you’re the first person I text because you always know what’s going on. Also the best at cooking advice.


Quietly thoughtful. You remember that comment I made about some treat I like six months ago and surprised me with that on my birthday. You’re the biggest fan of the people you love. It’s cute how you get excited about their accomplishments.


really really trying to get back into the groove of blogging again just because i love looking back at it and it’s always useful in helping me understand what’s rattling around in my brain. so get ready for some NONSENSE!!

today katie and abby and i went up to the trails and i ran 50 minutes! definitely the longest i’ve run in forever and it was super magical. i’ve ditched the GPS feature on my watch and i think that’s what i’ll need for the next six or so months as i transition to truly running for joy, you know? my body just felt super good and so did my head. i love love love running. ah!!

we made some pancakes after and talked about existential things, like the adventure you’re supposed to find in another person and the intricacies of our senses of humor and our thoughts on adoption and tinder boys.

i feel this deep-rooted sense of contentedness in who i am going to become and who i am right now. THEY ALWAYS REMIND ME. (it’s a friendship for the ages, y'all)

anonymous asked:

What do you look for in a girl physically and emotionally? How do you feel about long distance? Asking for a friend ;)

Physically, it depends on the girl. In general, I find myself attracted to femmes, active girls, and dark hair. Think Lana Parrilla - that’s my type, but it obviously depends.

Personality/Emotionally - hardworking, trustworthy, gives effort, takes relationships seriously, same sense of humor, deep but can have fun, laid back, family oriented, doesn’t drain me

When it comes to distance - I don’t think I’m willing to do anything more than 3-4 hours anymore. I’m sick of having feelings for people far, who won’t make the effort (that’s okay, they just aren’t for me). So, ideally, less than 4 hours with the option of them being able to eventually move here.

anonymous asked:

I hope I'm not bothering you, but im sorta new to monsta x and I was wondering if you could show me something that would help me put names to faces? I love your blog btw 👌

first, thank you for stumbling upon my mediocre blog and for loving and supporting it! second, welcome to the fandom. once you’re in, you can’t back out. there’s no exit, get it? anyways, i would be happy to help!

Originally posted by madtwn

Originally posted by shownubot

Originally posted by allbout-starshiplanet

this is shownu, our shy little leader. his real name is son hyunwoo and he’s a 92 liner. he kinda has small eyes framed by some pretty “on-fleek” eyebrows, that’s his charm. he also has some really nice arms, like damn. look at those guns. if you’re watching a live stage, then he’s the one nailing all of the dance moves because he’s considered monsta x’s best dancer.

Originally posted by fy-hyungwonho

Originally posted by allbout-starshiplanet

Originally posted by guhwe

this is wonho. he’s usually the shirtless one because the stylists are obsessed with his abs, or the one biting his lips, or the one smirking, or the one driving you crazy with his ridiculously good looks. seriously, look at him. he has declared himself the sexiest member of monsta x. his real name is shin hoseok and he’s a 93 liner.

Originally posted by kpop-kdrama-kvariety

Originally posted by mx-minhyuk

Originally posted by starshipent

and here we have lee minhyuk, our happy moodmaking energy vitamin. he looks great in blonde, by the way. and that one time he had like cotton candy streaks in his blonde hair i practically died. it’s my icon too i believe, i don’t even know. he’s got the cutest smile i’ve ever seen and i think he’s got monolids but sometimes i can’t tell. either way, his eyes are precious. and yeah, everything about him is precious. he’s a 93 liner as well.

Originally posted by kihyunly

Originally posted by sunnyhoseok

Originally posted by changkyoon

next up is our lovely main vocal, yoo kihyun. he’s a 93 liner as well, i believe. he’s got a voice that will melt your heart and so much aegyo that you will want to jump off a cliff to put yourself out of your bias list ruined misery. he’s got these adorable eye dimples, the ones right on the apples of his cheeks. fun fact: i also have these eye dimples and it’s the first time i’ve ever seen another person other than myself have them. but this isn’t about me, is it.

Originally posted by joohoneylee

Originally posted by jooheono

Originally posted by jooheono

this here is our charisma-filled, main rapper, 94 line, lee jooheon. he’s got a face that reminds me of a five year old boy at times but it’s cute as heck. he has dimples so deep you can practically swim in them. he has eyes probably smaller than shownu’s, but they are his charm. oh and if you thought kihyun’s aegyo is bad, jooheon has even more… . . casually shoots myself in the face.

Originally posted by monstaxinyourpants

Originally posted by monxbebe

Originally posted by minyeossi

this right here is chae hyungwon, a 94 liner by the way. he’s monsta x’s very own sleeping beauty. like seriously, this kid is always sleeping. if he wasn’t in monsta x he’d probably be a model somewhere because he’s gorgeous. look at them eyes. look at those legs. he’s probably skinnier than me, what the heck. his lips was what i recognized immediately when i first got into monsta x. look at those lips, o h my g od.

Originally posted by monsta-x-

Originally posted by honeykihyun

Originally posted by chiqkihyun

and last but not least, we have our 4d maknae lim changkyun. he goes by the stage name, i.m. he has a very deep voice and is a great rapper. although he is the youngest, being born in 1996, he often time is said not to act like a maknae. he’s very weird, in a good way, and has this almost sarcastic sense of humor (my fav). he’s either fooling around with his hyungs or very serious and deep in thought, i feel like there is no in between. maybe that’s just me.

okay so that’s basically it. i hope this helped! don’t call me if you need help finding a bias because i still can’t and i’ve been a fan since last year, during no mercy days, before they even debuted. oh god, i am such monsta x trash. 

Originally posted by joohoneylee

anonymous asked:

For art requests: Mob meets Chara?

tbh I actually have a little bit of an UT x MP100 crossover that I’ve had running around my head, and the interaction I was thinking was more like…

Chara really just wanting to move on to the afterlife after being stuck as a ghost for so long, and Mob is kind of stuck in the Underground too so he basically agrees to help Chara to the afterlife if they can get out.

They’re not particularly malicious, but they do have a morbid sense of humor that Mob doesn’t entirely get. Also Mob’s goody two-shoes act rubs Chara the wrong way because nobody is that nice. (They have no idea that this is post Mogami and that Mob has a very deep understanding of cruelty.)


Beauty, Beast and the Nanny

Happy Grey’s day everyone. Here it’s a little something from me to Merthan/Griggs fans :)

As always comments, reblogs and likes are very welcome :)

Big thank you for my sister @fluraki she is the best with fast edit :*

Meredith was just about to leave when the nurse asked her to checked out the patient she was looking for. The room was bright, some of the flowers were standing on the desk, the patient was lying on the bed, he seemed fine but Meredith still want to checked him before leaving.

When she was already done, she saw a man entered the room, he was tall, with a rose in one hand. When Meredith look at the beautiful rose and later at the man, her face became lighter, she knew the man.

“What are you doing here?”

“I told you that I won’t give up on you so fast,”

“Will it’s not the best time,” she whispered,

“Why?” he took a step toward her,

“I need to go, my children are with my sister, she have to be at the hospital for an hour,”

“Go on a date with me, just once. I know you are not ready but I won’t push you,”

“I don’t have anyone who look after my kids,” she said, “It’s not easy if you want to date a mom of three,”

“I know, but still. I really want to take you on a date,”

“I will think about it, I have your number,”

He took a step toward her, his hands were laying on her hips, his lips were just about to kiss her when they heard noise behind them.

“I am sorry if I interrupt but I need doctor Grey for a moment,”

“Ehm, okay I really need to go,” she kissed his cheek,

When she left the room, leaving Will Thorp alone with the patient, she was wondering what could happened if she didn’t kick out him from her house. She was going behind the nurse, who need her help, when Meredith notice that she is in front of the nurse station, she has a feeling that she wasn’t that much needed.

“Why we are here? You said that you need me,”

“Yes. Doctor Riggs ask me to do it, he is waiting in xray examin room,” she said with a smile.

“What the hell are you doing?” she almost yelled,

“Nice to see you too, I am so happy you are here and so long,” he said with a grin,

“I was busy and you drag me from my patient to do what?”

“Well doctor Grey, you weren’t dragged, your patient was the one who want to kiss you or the one lying in coma?”

“It’s not your business mister, I am adult woman who can see another adults”

“I know, I am adult too. Maybe you could drag me somewhere too?”

“Riggs, I mean it-”

“So, I am not Nathan anymore? You broke my heart,” he took a step, so his face where in front of hers,

“Just-” she couldn’t breathe for a second,

“Yes, doctor Grey?” he touched her lips with his,

“NO!” she yelled,

She looked at him, into his deep blue eyes and for a moment she was about to do this one thing that could hurt her sister, every time they were alone she want to ripped the shirt of this man and drag him wherever he want to. Meredith shook her head and do the only thing she could. Lie.

“I am going on a date with that guy, so if you excuse me, I need to prepare myself,”

“Meredith Grey, you are -” he couldn’t finish the sentence because she was already gone.

Meredith leave the room as fast as she can, her heart was bouncing, hands were wet from sweat, she doesn’t know if it was because of the run or the way that guy works on her. One thing was clear, she need to go on a date with Will, just to show Nathan, that the thing between them are over. She found her phone in the pocket and reach the number, after few seconds, she heard the male voice.

“Hey Will, it’s Meredith. I was wondering if we can go to the movie tonight? 9pm maybe?”

She end up the call and in a one moment she realized that she doesn’t have a nanny for her kids, but for the first time she had a feeling, that her life goes in the right way. She was hoping that will be not smashed by the train called “Nathan Riggs” or maybe, just maybe that was the thing she was hoping for?

She end up her thinking when she saw Amelia, the best nanny of all the time.

“You are the person I want to see,” Meredith entering the room,

“What do you want?” Amelia ask suspiciously,

“I am going on a date tonight, Maggie have a night shift and I thought about you and Owen?”

“I love too but Owen have a shift too and I need to visit his mother. Maybe Alex?”

“Alex what?”

The door opened loudly, Alex after his adventure with Deluca wasn’t so nice to people and in some point no one from his co workers could blame him for that.

“I need a nanny for kids tonight, are you interesting?”

“I will take me stuff from the loft so no. You have a date or something?”

“Yes, but in that case I need to stay home,” Meredith almost smiled,

“I can stay with kids,”

All the doctors riched in the direction of the voice, Nathan was entering the room when from his throat got out the strange words, he couldn’t pretend that it doesn’t happened.  

“You want to stay with my children?”

“Yes. I did it before and I liked them so if you have plans,”

“With who you have that date?” Alex asked, looking into chart,

“Will Thorp,”

“It wasn’t the one who was kicked out from the house?” Amelia thinking loud,

“If he hurt you again, I will punch him,” Alex looked at Mer,

“He hurt you? What did he do?” Nathan looked straight into her eyes, his fist were clenched and suddenly  his face was all red.

“He didn’t. I wasn’t ready for well I wasn’t ready,” she looked at Amelia,

“She have sex with him, maybe he wasn’t that good,” Amelia smiled,

“Maybe it wasn’t the best work of his,” Nathan said with a grin,

“Can we stop talking about my sex life?” Meredith ask loudly, “Could you be at my house about 8:30pm?”

“I will be, I need to see the guy who got the second chance from you,”

She wore the tight black jeans, pink chiffon blouse and matching high heels, Meredith was ready for about half an hour, she give the children dinner and the last thing she must do was waiting for one of the man arrived. She sits there, watching her children playing on the carpet, she didn’t tell them with who they spend that evening, Mer was hoping they will be have more fun then she. After couple of minutes she heard the doorbell. She walk to them and took a deep breathe.

“Wow, doctor Grey you look amazing!” Nathan said,

“Thank you,”

“You always look so hot? I mean on a date?” he smiled, “I didn’t have a chance to go on a date with you, so I need to ask,” he whispered into her ear, “Hey kids!” he entered the house.

“Uncle Nathan!” Zola and Bailey shouted at once,

“What will we do when mom leaves! Can we play!” they both shouted,

“Yes. We’ll wait until mom leaves so she won’t be so sad that can’t play with us,” he explain,

They both heard the doorbell, she looked at her children, how happy they are and later at Nathan who looks as happy as them.

“Hi Will, can you come in? I will say goodbye and we can go,”

“Hi kids! I am Will,”

Both of the children were hidden behind their mom, she was trying to cheer them both up but nothing could force them to say something to the strange man.

“Maybe we play at the beauty and the beast,” Nathan suggested,

“Yess! Mommy will be the Beauty and uncle Will will be the beast!” Bailey shouted,

“And you will be the Prince Charming! Or, or knight!” Zola said,

“Why you want uncle Will to be a beast,” Meredith asked her son,

“It’s easy, someone must be a beast, uncle Nathan can’t be because he must save you, as a knight.”

“You will be the beauty so he can save the princess,” Zola added,

“You watch too much TV,” Mer answered kissing them both, “don’t stay late,”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of them, my beauty,” Nathan answered with a grin, closing the door.

After all the fun they had, both of the children were so exhausted that Nathan must carry them to their beds. He really like Mer’s children, and looking after them wasn’t a problem because he was the one who has more fun. He was gathered the toys when heard the keys into the door. Nathan took a few steps toward the window, he doesn’t want to watch them, saying goodbye but this was stronger than he.

“You spy on me?” Meredith asked,

He jumped, when he heard her voice but in some reason he was happy that they didn’t kiss on the porche.

“I was gathered the toys,” he answered,

“Oh, that’s fine. Kids are sleeping?”

“Yes. I carried them to beds,”

“They were very exhausted I see,”
“Did you have fun?” he asked, sitting on the sofa,

“I did, yeah,”

“So I don’t have to save you from the beast?” he smiled,

“I really-” she paused, “I like him but all I can think about was you,”

“But in a good way? Not like “Oh my God, he will burn my house and kidnapped my children” way?”

“I really like you, you make me laugh and Will..God, he is so boring. We talk about work and how much free time I have because he thinks my children won’t like him, which probably is a truth,”

“He has a weird face,”


“Bailey said that he has a weird face, that’s why he said that Will is a beast,”

“Oh my…. So you are not my prince charming after all, it’s just because his weird face,”

“I can be if you let me,” he whispered.

Nathan get closer to her on the sofa, he put his hand onto her hand, he looked deep into her eyes, for a moment the world stopped. He put his lips on hers, one of his hands was on her breast, another one was reaching to the tight black jeans she wore. Meredith wasn’t sure what getting her close to this man, the amazing blue eyes, sense of humor or just the fact he is so fucking hot. She took off her chiffon blouse, after a minutes she sat astride on his labs, wearing only bra and panties.

“Nathan,” she whispered,

“Yes,” his voice was harsher,

“I will drag you now,”

“You can drag me wherever you want,” he whispered to her ear, kissing her lower and lower until he reached her lips.

Sarah Silverman says that most comics’ sense of humor comes from self-loathing. For her, that wasn’t really the case:  

“I think my comedy came more from humiliation… I was a chronic bed-wetter. I had this deep, dark secret. If I had to go to sleepover parties I would just pinch myself awake all night.

The…thing that made me feel the most Jewish, because we weren’t religious in any way, was that I was so friggin’ hairy compared to these Carol Reed, L.L. Bean blonde Aryans that I lived with. So there was that. You want to be funny before anyone is funny on your behalf." 

Silverman just won an Emmy for best writing for a variety special, her HBO special, We Are Miracles

anonymous asked:

What's your dream girl

my dream girl is someone who compliments my fly. she doesn’t have to be perfect because dammit her flaws will make me love her even more. my dream girl is a girl that’s motivated and has goals… I’ll support hers just like she’ll support mine. she’s funny and has a great sense of humor. she’s also patient because sometimes I’m a little difficult. she’s intelligent so we can have deep conversations right before we fuck. she’s true to herself and firm in her beliefs… because stubbornness is so cute. my dream girl is someone who’ll help me do my hair and offer me arms to run into on my bad days. she’s also hella freaky because I’m trying to break head boards and shit lol. I didn’t point out anything physical cause idk what my dream girl will look like and I care more about how beautiful her heart is.

honestly I’m at the point in my life where I’m just trying to grow and I’ve had so much success recently. whoever that girl is i can’t wait to share it with them (: I’ll love them forever and do my best to give them the world

absentlyabbie  asked:

"Okay, it's really dark in here, so PLEASE tell me that was YOU who just licked the back of my neck."

“What?” Oliver’s voice was suddenly much closer than it had been.

Felicity froze. “Oh my God, it wasn’t you, was it?" 

"Why would I lick your neck?" 

"I don’t know, maybe you’ve got a vampire fetish or something you didn’t tell me about.” Felicity cleared her throat. “Not that you’d have a reason to tell me what your fetishes are. I mean, clearly – leather, for one thing, but…" 




"Right.” Felicity took a deep breath. “Okay, so – we keep going? Deeper into the dark, scary cave?" 

"Yes,” Oliver said. “Keeping in mind that there’s probably an arrogant asshole prick of a billionaire on the other end of this tunnel." 

Felicity chuckled.


"It’s just funny that you don’t like Bruce Wayne." 

"The man is humorless, Felicity." 

"Well, there is where you differ because you, my friend, are a laugh-a-minute." 

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”

“…is something people say who have no sense of humor." 

Suddenly – something whizzed through the air, embedding itself in the cave wall next to them. Felicity’s eyes widened. "You did tell him you were coming, right?”

“It might have slipped my mind.”

“Oh God, I’m going to die. Batman is going to kill me.”

“No, he won’t,” a gruff voice said from … somewhere unidentifiable. “He just wants to know what you’re doing in his very secret lair, Queen." 

"Tracking you down, Wayne. I have something I need your help with." 

"Last time I saw you, you were driving off in my Aston Martin. What makes you think I’d want to help you?" 

"Because I had a full house, and I won fair and square. Besides which, neither of us are exactly those people anymore. Maybe you never were." 

"Wow. Can I just say the testosterone in here is… really… quite something.” Felicity coughed. “Is there any way we can go to whatever part of this cave is… less… cave like? We can brief you there." 

"Who is this?" 

"Felicity Smoak,” she said, extending her hand, unable to see in front of her. She was a little surprised when a gloved hand took it, and shook it firmly. “Oliver Queen’s… partner." 

"Charmed, I’m sure." 

"All right, Wayne, turn down the smooze. Let’s get to work." 

"And he was calling me humorless." 

"I know, right? Completely devoid of self-knowledge." 


"All right, all right." 

anonymous asked:

I want 2 of my characters to have a really deep bond of friendship, where they just click with each other and their chemistry is natural, and when they hook up in the end, it's just 2 friends deciding to hang out for a little while longer. But their personalities are so different (Emotionally detached/stoic and mischievous trickster), how would I make them connect realistically???

Friendship isn’t just about personality. Friendships often start for other reasons, like their political views or their shared fascination with dinosaurs or a similar sense of humor. You need to find at least two similarities your friends have. Similarities include opinions, obsessions, hobbies, and facets of their personality (e.g. humor, outlook, valued traits). No one shares every personality trait with their very good friends.

After these friends have clicked over +2 similarities, they get into the friend stuff like being comfortable touching each other, talking about deep stuff, and basically trusting each other a lot. They don’t need to talk about the deep stuff - 99% of their conversations can be ridiculously childish, if you want - but the trust needs to be there. They need to believe in each other. They need to love each other. The trust and love won’t come all at once. Somewhere early in their friendship, they will begin trusting each other with secrets - small ones at first, getting bigger as they become closer. The whole trust and love thing does not need to be stated outright. Implying it would work, too, especially if your stoic character doesn’t like talking about their feelings and the mischievous characters can’t outwardly take it seriously. 

There is a friendship tag if you need more.

(If you don’t care about translation commentary, which is perfectly understandable, just scroll down to the bolded bits. There will be two of these, one for the black-on-yellow text and another for the smaller white text.)

So I was going to wait until Ken and Koromaru’s character video came out for Ultimax to decide what his unofficial title in my subtitles should be, but since an anon kindly asked and multiple people were nice enough to supply me with this image, I’ll do you one better: I’ll walk you through what it literally means in Japanese and then give you a tour of the step-by-step process I undergo every time a new character title pops up in making it pop and shine with proper localized flair! And I’m doing that because this one even more than a lot of the others doesn’t work so well if you just go about it super literally in English, so hopefully this will give you a sense of what the original Japanese is directly going for while having something a little smoother to work with in English until Atlus USA shows us what they went with in the end. Anyway, let’s do this!

So the background-ish text highlight in yellow reads 「中二病、絶賛発症中!」, which for those of you at home looking for a hiragana conversion, reads 「ちゅうにびょう、ぜっさんはっしょうちゅう!」

So already off the bat, Atlus is already giving any translator who wants to take a crack at this a hard time in a fun way and it’s because the terminology involved, while referring to somewhat universal concepts, isn’t as cleanly and succinctly articulated in English as it is in Japanese. Indeed, 中二病 literally means “middle school year 2 [8th grade in US parlance] sickness,” but it doesn’t refer to an actual disease per se. Rather, it refers to the sort of attitude that a lot of kids at that age get towards other people and the rest of the world, which is to say moody, arrogant, and generally believing that they know better about how things should be. It’s pretty recent slang within the Japanese lexicon, but I imagine most everyone reading this has seen people who had this sort of attitude around that point in their teenage years. Like I said, pretty universal stuff once expanded out like that, but we don’t have a term for that as succinct as the three characters it takes in Japanese! But that’s okay! We’ll just bear that overall meaning in mind as we look at the rest of that text.

So now we’re onto 絶賛発症中. This is where things start to get cheeky in the way that you would expect to see these sorts of character send-offs for a Persona 4 Arena game. It’s best to break this down into two parts, as they’re forming a pretty uncommon compound, so let’s look at 絶賛 and 発症中 individually. 絶賛 is generally taken to be a positive term, meaning something along the lines of “great acclaim” or “[lots of] critical praise.” It’s another one of those words that’s readily sensible but just doesn’t translate so cleanly into English because we don’t inherently have a need for a word specifically just for that sort of good reception from others. 発症中 is probably the most straightforward part of all of this so far. It just means “breaking out,” as in a disease in someone’s body (e.g.: “The flu’s been breaking out with people I know at work.”). I actually had to look up whether 絶賛発症中 is a term that’s commonly used in colloquial Japanese because, as I mentioned before, those meanings don’t necessarily compliment each other right off the bat. Google tells me that it’s not unheard of, but mostly to embellish how sick a person is feeling. This could potentially give us license to not really worry about taking 絶賛 at face value much and just translate the whole thing, 「中二病、絶賛発症中!」, as literally “He’s sick with middle school fever!” or something weird like that.

Still, that 絶賛 bugs me and it bugs me because 絶賛発症中 isn’t in reference to any old ailment, but rather 中二病 specifically, which, again, is slang that refers to a mindset some people adopt during puberty instead of an actual sickness. It’s plausible to think that somebody with 中二病 has a bit of a self-inflated ego, one that makes them think that other people will agree with what they have to say about other people and society at large. So, in a way, there’s an element of self-praise that comes from their own perceived cleverness at having apparently “figured it all out.” Examined in this light, 絶賛 isn’t then necessarily just being used by Atlus to emphasize how sick Ken is with 中二病, but also how huge his ego and sense of self-assuredness is getting while in the midst of puberty. That’s not a confirmed fact, but a lot of the humor in Japanese character titles in the Arena games are more than just skin-deep, so I’d like to believe Ken is no different in that respect.

After going through that breakdown, it’s around this point where I start juggling around potential translation candidates in my head. Anybody who follows me knows that I’ve also been a writer for a really long time, so most all of my translations already have a sort of informal localization process that goes into them to ensure it plays like it should in English and not awkwardly mimic the style and structure of the original Japanese. Basically, I’m less concerned about a direct A-to-B correspondence in words and semantics than I am in maintaining what I feel is the spirit of the original writing, as going with too literal of a route in translation of risks robbing the English of the heart and subtlety that the original Japanese audience got to enjoy. As such, I ideally want whatever translation I go with to rib just as much on Ken’s alleged ego as it does the fact that he’s still young and going through puberty. Ideally, it’s trying to put him in his place as an adolescent person. Here are a few that I’ve juggled in my head in order of when I think them up:

  • “He’s the knight that the world needs and deserves!” (A kind of fun send-up of his ego in my eyes, but doesn’t really rag on him for his youth and referential humor should only be used with the utmost care, especially when it wasn’t originally used in Japanese.)
  • “He’s gone mad with hormonal power!” (A little bit more on track, but the use of the word “hormonal” might imply the wrong things about him, or at least not touch upon his puberty in the same way the Japanese does. Not inherently a bad thing it doesn’t cover the same ground, but again, caution has to be exercised.)
  • “Watch out, we’ve got a smart ass over here!” (More referential humor, yeah, but I really like this one. It stings in a lot of the right ways to me even in isolation of the Neil deGrasse Tyson-laden origins of the meme it’s based on. Could end up looking back at this one again when it’s time to subtitle his trailer depending on how the announcer inflects the Japanese. We’ll see! I’ll go with a different line just to have something more original stand in for the time being.)

I think for now, we’ll go with "Kick him out of the house, he’s all grown up already!“ for the black-on-yellow text. I really like this one because it jabs at his maturity in a similarly condescending way as the original Japanese. It’s probably something that could be improved with editing, as my friends and commenters have proved when giving feedback on my subtitles time and again, but if we’re going for something that isn’t overtly referential and hits a lot of the same beats as the original Japanese, this is the one that I’m most comfortable with right now. It could change by the time I subtitle that video whenever it comes around, but we’ll see!

Now for that white text that constitutes his actual title. It reads 「生意気盛りの皮肉屋新人」 or 「なまいきもりのひにくしんじん」 in hiragana. This one is thankfully more straightforward and isn’t so laced with uniquely obtuse Japanese terminology. We’ll break down the basic literal meaning into four parts. 生意気 is an adjective that more or less means something along the lines of "cheeky” or “obstinate.” Definitely a trait we’d expect from a guy with a supposed case of 中二病 going for him. 盛りの is kind of amplifying the 生意気 portion and can mean something like “at the height of ____” or “high on ____.” 皮肉屋, meanwhile, can refer to a “cynic” or a “sarcastic” person. Japanese culture isn’t really big on sarcasm, so the word 皮肉 itself tends to lump those sorts of ideas all together with somewhat of a negative connotation. And then finally, 新人 is just “newbie” or “new person.” One of the rare instances where it’s actually pretty okay to translate literally based on the kanji involved.

Unlike the other text, two good candidates more or less immediately popped up in my mind, both of which I’d be really happy to use in my subtitles: The Underdog with a Bone to Pick or The Smart Ass (Smart Mouthed) Runt of the Litter. I’m especially happy with that first one because even though the original Japanese doesn’t really refer to him as an underdog per se, the fact that he’s new to the fighting roster and always had something to prove in P3 as the youngest human character in the main cast makes it an easy fit for him. Plus, more importantly, the whole thing plays on the fact that he has Koromaru with him, something that the original Japanese doesn’t even try to address. The other title accomplishes similar things, but I don’t like it quite as much since the dog motif isn’t quite as evenly spread out.

So, in full, if I were to write this like I probably will for my subtitles: “Kick him out of the house, he’s all grown up already! It’s the Underdog with a Bone to Pick: Ken Amada and Koromaru!”

Of course, this is all contingent on the writing gelling with Ken’s role in the storyline. It’s hard to have any idea what sort of role he’ll actually play without having access to the game, which is an issue I constantly deal with as a fan subber for trailers who doesn’t have access to unreleased games for context. Still, taken on its own, I’m pretty satisfied with that and it may well be what I go with when Ken and Koromaru get their time to shine in the weekly promo videos.

Hope that helps out those of you who asked and hopefully it also provides a little insight into the work I routinely put into those trailers and other stuff I take up as a translator!

11/11/11 Tag

Tagged by @striptaese

Thank you sweetie!!!

Rules: Share 11 Facts about yourself, answer 11 questions by tagger, tag 11 people and ask 11 questions for them.


(this is probably going to be super boring…)

1. I have three tattoos and have have/had 12 different piercings so far, my ears also used to be stretched.  
2. I started the first online literary journal at my community college with my creative writing professor.  It was called Wiffles and Burbles.  I don’t even know if it’s still around because that was a long time ago lol…I hope it is though.  
3. I like doing jiu jitsu and weight lifting.  (fuck cardio though)
4. I used to be married but my divorce was seriously the best thing that could have happened.
5. I actually discovered Shinee the year I got divorced and it helped me through a lot.  They were/are the best distraction and source of inspiration.  
6. I know a lot about wine…well more than the average person and I like to volunteer at local wineries and pour at festivals.  (most pay you in bottles of wine)
7. I work in IT/tech support and it’s made me dead inside.
8. I have quite a few phobias.  Spiders, getting sick, doctors/hospitals to name a few.  
9. I have a yellow hatchback named Doug.  (It was named after my fave singer in a band at the time)
10. I’m super forgetful and disorganized.  Which is the worst combination ever.  I also get distracted easily.  I really don’t know how I’ve managed to survive this long.  But I guess I’m doing something right.  /shrugs/
11. I used to brew my own beer.  The last time I did the container that I left the liquid in to ferment exploded in my kitchen.  I came home from work one day and there was beer foam everywhere.  The floor, ceiling, walls, it took days to clean.  And it smelled awful!  

Questions asked by @striptaese

1.  If you could have any pet in the world, what would you want?

A giraffe.  And I’d have my bedroom window built in just at her height so we could have deep face to face conversations with each other before bedtime and I could feed her treats.  

2.  What is your favorite genre to read?

I’m a sucker for paranormal romance.  I love horror and fantasy too…

3.  What is the first thing you look for in a person (as a friend, or as a partner, anything)?

Sense of humor.  If our senses of humor don’t mesh well it’s probably not going to work out.  I have a very dry sense of humor and people tend to get insulted or offended by it.  

4.  What’s your favorite sport? (Even if you don’t like sports, just pick the one that urks you the least)

To watch…soccer and American football.  To play…disc golf!  But I played soccer in school too.  

5.  If you could follow the schedule of one member during the One Fine Day vacation, whose would you follow? (activities-wise, I don’t mean you get to follow the member literally LOL)

I would def go to Thailand.  Hot springs, scuba diving, massage, the food, feeding the monkeys, it was such a chill trip. 

6.  What is one thing you don’t like reading in fanfiction? (I’m just assuming you read them at this point in time. It can be kinks or certain pairings, etc.)

Chicken jokes…clumsy Onew, diva Key, idon’tknowwhatsexis Taemin, Meanho, and cocky Jonghyun.  

7.  What is the earliest memory you can remember?

Accidentally breaking a girl’s fingers in preschool.

8.  Have you ever traveled out of the country solo, or do you ever intend to?

No.  I’m afraid to travel outside of the country alone but I think I may have to get over that because that looks like it’s going to be the only way I’ll get to go to the places I want to.  

9.  What color is the walls of your room?

I rent.  So boring white, but they’re pretty much covered in posters now.  :D

10.  Are you using a laptop or a desktop?


11.  How do you visualize your dream house to be?

An island villa.  With the ocean facing side all windows and an infinity pool right outside.  Palm trees and decorative lanterns will line the sides of the deck.  The inside will be cozy with soft lighting and warm colors but chic minimalistic decor.  I hate clutter.  

My questions:

Favorite snack food.

Favorite song on 1 of 1.  :)  

What time of year do you enjoy most?

If you could give any piece of advice what would it be?

Do you still watch cartoons?  (If so what’s your fave)

If you had to recommend one fanfic what would it be? (assuming you read them)

Favorite smell.

Is the toilet paper roll supposed to go over or under?

If you had the chance to say one thing to your bias, what would it be?

Iced or hot coffee?

Favorite Shinee era.  

I think a lot of the people I would have tagged have already been tagged lol, so if I tag you again, feel free to play again or ignore…and no pressure if you just don’t have time or don’t want to.  I don’t want to bug or annoy anybody :)
I tag: @orgel-ontae @moshiznik @oh-noona @kindredseoul @taebadam @onewjams @hellotweetygirl @jjongs-lubricants @jongtaeluv @trashyjongtae @minhoandthebabes

Cruel Valentine

So I finally dragged myself away from DAI and started Fallout 4. Can you guess who my new crush is?

That’s right. The one epic companion who isn’t romanceable T_T

Nick Valentine. In all his glory.

Seriously, how can you expect me to resist when he throws lines like “Gotta love the irony of the reverse damsel-in-distress scenario”?! Now I just mentally picture carrying him out of that vault in my fancy ’Agatha’s dress’.

Every other line, a one-liner. He makes me laugh, and has a great sense of humor that doesn’t hurt others. A deep well of kindness while still maintains a positive attitude towards life, no matter the awful things people say to him.

Worst thing - he even flirts!! (almost) Why can’t I respond? *cries He “wondered what I’d look like as a robot”, did he? I even have the screenshot of him saying that when I put on a power armor (but stupid bush got in the way).

Way to go, Bethesda. I thought only Bioware had the ability to break my heart, but no. Turns out you can do it too.

Seriously, if there is no Valentine DLC to at least tell him that I like him, I will be thoroughly dissapointed.

Now let me go back to my corner and cry. Cruel, Mr. Valentine. So cruel.

John has so many of the same qualities as his sons.  The show likes to emphasize that Sam and John are truly alike deep down, and Dean and John are only alike in superficial ways.  But Dean and John have the same charming sense of humor, they’re built the same way and move the same way.  I think they calculate risks and strategize the same way too, and not just because John taught Dean so much of what he knows.